Beat of the Heart (35 page)

“I guess,” he murmured.

“I would say I was surprised that she turned so quickly on you, but all the old crew knew what a

cheap slut she’d always been.” I shook my head at him. “But yet, rumor through the grapevine has it

you wanted to marry her—someone who was a complete one eighty from me. And so soon. I mean,

Jesus, we dated for three years before you gave me a ring, but with her, you were barely together five

months.”

Dev ran a hand through his jet black hair. “I was a fool. And as for marrying her, that was just

bullshit to appease my family. They’d been on my back forever about settling down.”

“With me,” I spat.

“Yes, they wanted me to marry you. They loved you as much as I did.” He drew in a ragged breath.

“It’s a lousy excuse, Mia, but the pressure to settle down and be what my family expected me to be, it

broke me. That’s why I let Erin get to me.”

“Ah, so she made the first move.”

He shrugged. “I let it happen—I let it screw up the best thing I ever had. You.” He exhaled a

ragged breath. “But when it all comes down to it, what does it matter who started it?”

“I don’t know. It’s an easier pill to swallow thinking you weren’t out scoping chicks—that the new

piece of ass just fell in your lap.”

Dev sighed. “Things were rough between us, Mia. You know that. After your grandmother died,

you shut me out. You—”

My hand flew up to silence him. “Don’t you dare bring Mama Sofia’s death into this! Regardless of

whether I was in a fucking grief storm, you should have been there for me, standing by me and

supporting me.” My voice wavered, and I grimaced at giving him those emotions. “That’s when I

needed you most,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry.” He eased the bouquet of roses he still clutched onto the table. “What can I say, but that

I was an immature prick who wanted all your attention? When you couldn’t give it to me, I pulled an

utterly selfish and despicable move by cheating on you.” He took a tentative step closer to me.

“Regardless of what happened, I never stopped loving you, Mia. Not one day went by when I didn’t

regret what I did, how I hated myself for hurting you.” He drew in a ragged breath. “How I wished it

was you I was making love to, not Erin.”

A shudder rippled through me at his words, and I despised myself for letting my firm resolve

waver. I took a step back from him. “Don’t do this. Not now. It’s too fucking late.”

“It’s never too late to right a wrong, is it?”

“You broke my heart, Dev!” I cried, my voice raising an octave, causing me to betray my emotions.

“Please,” he said in a half whisper.

“Please what?” I demanded.

“Please give me another chance.”

My mouth dropped open in disbelief. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do.”

I shook my head. “You only think you want me back. Erin left you a month ago, and you’re reeling

about being all alone.”

“No, that’s not it. If it was just about being alone, I’d go out and find some new piece of ass.” He

pinned me with his gaze. “But I’m here right now. Putting my heart out on the line, for you.”

“You got spooked about marriage and us before. You would do the same thing again.”

“Not with you. If you were gracious enough to give me a second chance, it would never, ever

happen.”

I gave a mirthless laugh. “Yeah, well, how about this one? I’m pregnant.”

Dev’s serious expression turned over to shock. He blinked rapidly as he stared at me. His gaze fell

on my abdomen, and for the first time, he noticed the bump beneath my baggier scrubs. “Um…wow.”

“Told you. You’re completely and totally spooked.”

“I won’t lie to you that I’m surprised. I mean, when we were together, you were never the maternal

type.”

“That’s true, but people change.”

“
Yes
, they do,” he emphasized, and his meaning wasn’t lost on me. When I didn’t reply, he asked,

“What about the father?”

I shifted my gaze to stare down at the floor. “We broke up before I found out I was pregnant.”

“And he doesn’t want to be in the baby’s life?”

“He doesn’t know yet…I don’t know if he’ll ever know,” I admitted.

“So, then I do have a chance with you,” he said softly.

I snapped my head up to glare at him. “Just because I have a kid on the way, doesn’t mean I’m

weak enough to take you back. I don’t need the baby’s father, and I sure as hell don’t need you.”

“But couldn’t you want me?” Dev took another step closer to me. I tried ignoring how my body

reacted to him being closer. Fucking pregnancy hormones! “I know you’re strong enough to do all this

on your own, but you don’t have to. I’m here for you, Mia. I want you—with all my heart and soul.”

“No.”

“I’m not saying you should take me back today. Let me work hard for you—let me earn your trust

back. Can’t you at least let me try?”

At his words, I remembered AJ hugged up to Kylie, the diamond ring on her hand glittering in the

light. Pain raged through my chest, and for a moment, I fought to breathe. Through my own

stubbornness, I had fucked things up for us. There was no going back with AJ even if I wanted to. I

would tell him about the baby eventually, and he would be its father. But he would never be my lover

again…my boyfriend…my husband. He belonged to someone else now. And even though I knew I had

loved him—that I loved him still—in the end, I’d only had two weeks with him.

I’d had three years with Dev.

Fate and destiny were two things Italians believed very strongly in. Maybe my destiny had just

walked back into my life.

I took a step toward Dev. “If you think you’re just going to waltz back into my life and have me fall

into your waiting arms, you’re fucking crazy. You want me after everything you’ve done, then you’re

going to crawl on hands and knees through broken glass to get me.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“And that’s without any promises of reconciliation.”

He surveyed my words thoughtfully. “I’ll do whatever I have to do, Mia. I swear that. And when

it’s all said and done, I will prove to you that I’m worthy of you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “We’ll see.”

“AJ?”

At the sound of Mia’s voice, my eyelids popped open. Staring up at the tiles on the ceiling, I

groaned as my head throbbed like a motherfucker.

“Are you okay?” Mia questioned softly.

My gaze spun wildly around the room. I was still in my clothes, but I was reclining in a hospital

bed. “What the fuck?” I muttered.

“You’re at St. Joseph’s. You fainted and hit your head.”

The moment my eyes locked on Mia’s concerned filled brown ones it all came back to me in a

rush. My gaze left her eyes to trail down her body. It froze on her swollen belly—the place where
my

child grew.

“How far along are you?” I demanded in a hoarse voice.

Licking her lips nervously, Mia replied, “Nineteen weeks.”

My fists clenched involuntarily at my sides. “You’re almost five months pregnant, and the thought

that I should know never crossed your mind?” I growled.

The tone of my voice caused her to jump, and remorse instantly filled me that I’d scared her. “I’m

sorry, Mia. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

“I know.”

Wincing, I pulled myself up in the bed. “Do you have any idea what this is all like for me?”

Tears sparkled in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

I barked a laugh. “I would think after handcuffing me to a shower there was some part of you that

wanted me to suffer.”

She shook her head. “I was angry with you then.” Glancing down at the floor, she murmured,

“More than anything, I was hurt.”

“So because of some misunderstanding you would be so vengeful as to not tell me I had a child on

the way?”

Mia jerked her head up and glared at me. “I did try to tell you. I came to your show in Jersey City.”

“Wait, what?”

“It’s true that I didn’t tell you right away. I wanted to wait until I was sure I wasn’t going to

miscarry. Once I was out of danger, I got in touch with Frank.” She swallowed hard. “Then when I

got to the room where you all were backstage….I saw you with her.”

“With who?”

“Your fiancée, Kylie,” she spat.

“Whoa, whoa, what the hell are you talking about? I’m not engaged, least of all to her!”

Mia rolled her eyes. “Oh please, AJ. Aren’t we passed the point of lying to each other now? I saw

you with my own eyes, and Dee did too. You were all hugged up to her and flashing her engagement

ring around to this group of people.”

My mind spun frantically trying to process what she was talking about. And then it hit me. “Did she

have dark hair?”

“Yes.”

“Oh Christ,” I moaned. When I swung my legs out of the bed, Mia bolted up from the chair. I held

my hand up. “Wait, I can explain.”

“Like you did the last time?”

“Once again, you’ve completely missed the mark. Her name is Andrea, and she isn’t my fiancée.

She’s Jake’s step-sister—you met their shared sister, Allison, at the farm, remember? She’s marrying

a suit from the label who Jake introduced her to. They’d all come down from New York for the

Jersey show. I’ve known her since I was twelve—she’s like a sister to me, so yeah, I was all hugged

up to her because I was happy.”

Mia paled as her hand came to cover her mouth. “Oh God…” she murmured.

I drew in a deep breath, trying to steady my fucking Merry-Go-Round emotions. “Look, I know men

have fucked you over in the past so badly that you like to react first and ask questions later. That’s

understandable. But you can’t pull that shit anymore. It’s not just about me or you. There’s a kid—
my

kid—to think about.”

Tears welled in her eyes before streaming down her cheeks. “I know. But when I thought you were

engaged, all I could think of was how if I showed up, I’d ruin your life.” Staring down at her hands,

she whispered, “I didn’t want to be like my mother.”

Even though I should’ve been mad as hell at her, I couldn’t help reaching over to cup her face in my

hands, pulling her head up to look at me. “I never would have thought you tried to trap me, Mia. And

regardless of what your mother did, your dad could never think you ruined his life.”

“I know.”

Dee appeared in the doorway. “Looks like you came around.”

“Yeah, my head hurts like hell.”

“So does my back.” He eyed me before snorting. “You’re one heavy motherfucker.”