Beast Denied (21 page)

She started to shake uncontrollably. “It…it was my fault. Despite what you say. I lost our baby. My actions caused me to lose our baby.”

His arms were around her in a flash, her head pushed against his chest. She wept into his shoulder, silent tears that tracked down his shirt. “It’s past,” he murmured, his hand stroking down her back. “All in the past now.”

He let her weep, not trying to hush her but letting her give vent to her remorse, her grief. He would need to deal with his, she thought wretchedly. She only hoped that in doing so he wouldn’t push himself hard again, that he wouldn’t need to shift and pound across the moor in an effort to cope with his loss.

Spent, she eased gently away from him. He pulled his shirt from his waistband, used it to brush away the residue of her tears. “None of this could ever change how I feel about you,” he said softly. “I love you. I want you as my mate, my wife. We’ll deal with anything we need to deal with. Together.”

Oh, how she wanted that. More than anything she’d ever wanted in her life. But she wasn’t quite ready to hope for it.

“Since I lost our baby, I haven’t been able to shift.”

He raised his eyebrows, his hands stilling on her arms. It took only moments before she realized he was remembering the times she had refused to run with him.

“I haven’t wanted to,” she admitted. “I thought I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve the gifts I’d been given as a member of the pack.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I’d failed in my duty. I’d failed to procreate.”

He huffed out a derisive laugh. “Shit, Naomi. Your value isn’t determined by your ability to give birth.”

She was only now starting to realize that. It had been a hard-worn path and a long one to get to this point. “Any more than yours is determined by your ability to run fast,” she felt compelled to point out.

He gave another huff. “What a fucking pair we are.”

“That night? When we were together and you asked me to run? I wanted to, so much. But I couldn’t. Then, when I was attacked, I felt the power rising in me. I know it was anger and desperation, but I felt it.”

“We can try together. If it’s what you want.”

“I’m scared, Tynan.”

“We’ll deal with it. All of it. Together. Just you and me.”

He drew her in for a kiss. Gentle and tentative at first, then driving toward passion and exhilaration and need. She matched his enthusiasm, poured everything into showing him how she felt.

When she drew away, the need to ensure he understood the implications of the promises they were making took precedence. “Are you absolutely sure, Tynan? If you want, I’ll be yours. We can date, have sex, and generally enjoy each other. That way if you decide along the way that you want more we can go our separate ways and no harm done.”

“If I suspected you really thought it was that easy, then we may as well go our separate ways now, because you sure as hell can’t love me the same way I love you.”

“I do,” she said, almost falling over the words in her efforts to assure him. “I love you with all my heart. I think I always have. But it’s because I love you that I need to be certain you understand what you’re throwing away for me.”

“Doc?”

Eyes wide, heart pumping, Naomi looked him firmly in the eye. “What?”

“Just shut the hell up and kiss me. You keep stressing me out like this, and I’ll soon be needing another of those massages.”

His sexy grin broke down the final restraint on her heart, and with it, the last of her doubts that he realized what he was giving up to be with her. She wrapped her arms around him, placing her palms low down on his back. “Is your back hurting again?”

“Starting to.” He grinned. “But there’s something else that’s beginning to hurt even more, so you might want to move your hands around front a little, just to make sure you hit exactly the right spot.”

“Tynan Galloway. Even in pain, you’ve got a one-track mind.”

He drew her closer still, dropped a kiss to her mouth so tender it made her heart tremble. “Where you’re concerned? You’d better believe it, sweetheart. You’d better believe it. Now, about that massage…”

Epilogue

“Is your back feeling okay?”

Naked, Tynan stretched out underneath the blanket they’d brought to the spot where they’d first made love a decade ago. “Guess so. Can’t feel a thing, seeing as most of my body is numb from pleasure. All I know is my cock is one very happy dude right now.”

Naomi punched at his shoulder. “I told you those sessions with the massage therapist would do you good.”

“Amen to that. Although I still prefer my original therapist. The one with the magic hands.”

Naomi hoisted herself up beside him and grinned down. “These magic hands?” She fisted his for-once flaccid member. “Just say the word, and I’ll do my thing again.”

He returned her grin. “Abracadabra.”

In the four weeks since they had declared their love for each other, things had happened so fast. Now, in less than seven days, in a ceremony officiated by Caleb and her grandfather, she would be mated to the man she loved. Two weeks after that, they would be married in a civil ceremony, and she would be joined to Tynan in the eyes of the law.

“Seriously,” she said, punching his shoulder. “Maybe we should ease off a bit. You promised me not to overdo things for a while to give your body a chance to regain strength.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “Have you noticed any problem in my strength department?”

“Be serious, Tynan.”

“I’ve kept my promise and haven’t pushed things. Hell. I’ve been running like a girl for weeks now. You start restricting me in other areas and I’m likely to spontaneously combust from frustration.”

“I wouldn’t say you’ve been restricted. Far from it.”

He slid his hand around her neck and let his fingers glide gently over the spot where he would mark her after their mating ceremony took place.

In response, Naomi mirrored his movement and tenderly stroked his neck. “What would happen if the powers-that-be ever found out that, in one important area, you’ve already marked me?”

Tynan hoisted himself up and eased her back to the blanket. He ran his hand down the front of her body, palming her mound and slipping his middle finger into her pussy. Lightly he circled the bite mark on her labia, the intimate mating practice a male performed on his female. A practice that was reserved for the night after the mating ceremony had taken place, when a male marked his female with two bites—one to the neck and the other of a more intimate nature.

“They’ve been intent on making us wait for the ceremony, so it’s on them. Not that anybody but me will ever see it.” He touched the mark again. “You sure it feels okay now? I’ve been going at you pretty much full on for five days.”

She reached up and stroked his hair back from where it fell across his forehead. “Tynan Galloway. You have such a romantic way with words.”

“We’ll see what you have to say about that after you’ve heard my mating promise. I’ll show you romantic.”

Delighted, Naomi’s eyes widened. “What are you going to say?”

“My lips are sealed until the ceremony. Unless you want to stick your tongue between them, that is.”

She huffed, but it was hard to stay the joy that bubbled inside her. He kissed her, his finger sliding deeper inside her while his breath expanded and lengthened. His cock, at full mast again, pushed against her hip. Her nipples tightened in response, her breasts already desperate for his hands, his mouth.

He released her, his grin quick and easy before his head disappeared beneath the blanket. He moved down her body, kissing his way along and drawing out needy little moans from her. Naomi stretched her hands above her head, gazing dreamily up at the star-spattered sky while Tynan continued to heat her up.

He spread her legs and moved between them, pushing her knees up so that the blanket fell away. Naomi grabbed the edge of it and tossed it aside. It seemed they were both hot enough now not to worry about the chilly night air circling around them.

With his thumbs, Tynan opened her pussy lips and touched his tongue to the bite mark. Naomi arched, enjoying the energy that pulsed from its center before spreading through her whole body. She had often wondered what it would feel like, and now she knew. It was fire and heat, ice and cold. It was orgasmic in its intensity, both grounding and ethereal.

Tynan rose above her, his cock nudging her entrance. Having both decided that they would no longer have need for a condom, he pushed inside. Naomi loved the feel of him with no barriers between them. She loved the heat of him and the strength of him.

They moved in unison, their lovemaking at first slow and rhythmic but soon turning to desperate need. Naomi clung to Tynan, squeezing him with her inner muscles and reaching down to grab his backside. He shuffled slightly higher up her body, changing the angle of his penetration. In this position, the rocking movement soon brought her to the edge, and she cried out when the orgasm hit her.

Over and over, with wave upon wave of contractions firing through her until she thought they would never stop, Naomi gave herself up to the bliss of it. Tynan’s climax followed, his hot release spurting inside her and shooting her own pleasure into orbit.

She journeyed back from the joyous abyss, trying to match her slowly steadying breaths with Tynan’s.

“I love when you come inside me,” she murmured into his shoulder. “It makes everything even more…perfect.”

With effort, he drew out of her and hoisted himself off and onto his back. Wrapping an arm around Naomi, he pulled her close to his side. “Yeah,” he managed on a long, contented sigh. “Perfect.”

Naomi snuggled in against his heated flesh and ran her hand indolently over his chest. Seconds later, he reached out and pulled the discarded blanket back over them. They lay together, sated and content, for what seemed like hours. Until Naomi decided to tell him what she’d been mulling over for days now, and what they had been discussing on and off almost since they had gotten together a month ago.

Angling her head, she looked up at him. His eyes were closed, his face even more rugged and handsome in repose. “Tynan?”

“Hmm?”

“I think I’d like to explore the possibility of surrogacy at some point.”

That brought his eyes open. “That’s not something I’m—”

“I know, but I’ve been thinking on it. It really ought to go on our list of options.”

She hoisted herself up so she could look at him. She knew he hated the idea and had dismissed it out of hand when she’d first suggested it. But it was a way of holding Tynan’s baby in her arms, a way for her to be a mother to his children. Tynan had told her that if she couldn’t carry his children, then no other female would. Despite his constant reassurances that he was happy with a future with just the two of them, Naomi had insisted that they first explore all their options regarding the possibility of having a family of their own.

Tynan frowned. “Well, I’ve been thinking on it too, and it’s a crazy idea.”

“I just want it on the list. So that we can talk about it some more, whenever.”

His hand stroked along her back. “Okay. Whenever. But if nothing pans out, I’m okay with it. Tell me you understand that, Naomi. Promise me you know that you’re enough for me. That you’re all I want, all I need.”

“I do.”

And she meant it. How could she not when Tynan had spent every moment of the past month convincing her of it. While at first reluctant, Naomi had gently persuaded him to talk about their options regarding children. She knew he didn’t want her thinking it was a deal-breaker for him, but she needed to at least consider their options.

She snuggled against him again, this time ruminating on something they hadn’t discussed. Tynan had never approached the subject of her refusal to shift. Naomi knew that he gave her the time and space to make her own decisions in that regard, and she also knew it lay like a final barrier between them. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want anything between them.

“Tynan?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time I dealt with my problem.”

Eyes closed, he laughed softly, tightening his arm around her. “Believe me, sweetheart,” he drawled lazily. “You don’t have a single problem from where I’m standing, or lying.”

“I do, and we both know it.”

Momentarily, his fingers stilled from where they’d been stroking along her skin, but he said nothing. Although he tried to make out that her failure to shift wasn’t a problem, Naomi knew it was. Denying that integral part of herself all these years had cost her. It was like ignoring the need to breathe deeply, and just as sooner or later shallow breathing caused health problems in a human, denying her panther nature would sooner or later cost Naomi in ways she couldn’t comprehend. No way in hell would she chance that it would affect her relationship with Tynan. Mated shifters ran together. It was that simple.

“I think it’s time.”

Tynan turned to face her, but still he said nothing.

“It sits between us a bit, my refusal to shift,” Naomi said, meeting his steady gaze. “I don’t want that.”

When he opened his mouth, no doubt to refute what she’d said, Naomi placed a finger over his lips. “It’s what I want. To shift. To run. With you.”

She started to get up, but Tynan held her arm. “There’s no need to force it. If you’re not ready—”

“I am. I want to do it now.”

He eyed her for a few more moments as if to reassure himself that she spoke the truth. Then he stood and held out his hand to her.

Naked, they walked a short distance to the edge of a clearing where the moor spread out like a long-lost friend. Naomi felt the longing rush through her and knew that she’d been right to push herself to do this. The time was right. Perfect.

Still with her hand in Tynan’s, she swallowed. “I’m not entirely sure where to start.”

“Just summon the energy,” Tynan advised. “Let it flow through you.”

She closed her eyes, tightened her fingers around his. Something trembled through her, but she wasn’t sure if it was the energy she desired or if it was just plain fear. What if she couldn’t do it? What if, after all this time, she had lost the ability?

“Focus,” Tynan murmured reassuringly. “Focus on the energy moving from your core, through your chest. Reach it out into your limbs. Feel it, sweetheart. Let it happen.”

Doing what he instructed, Naomi could feel the spark inside her growing, expanding. The surge of it, the strength of it. After one final squeeze, she let go of Tynan’s hand.

Power rushed through her. A fire that was all-consuming, almost overwhelming. Anxious, she tempered it, pulled it back. But she was no coward. Not anymore. No barriers, she reminded herself. She wanted everything with her man, her mate. Her lover. Her love.

Releasing her hold on the potent energy shuddering inside her, she let it rip. Seconds later, she dropped to all fours and felt her fangs descend. She opened her eyes and looked down. And saw herself in full feline form. Shock trembled along her flank, an icy blast that disappeared so quickly she wondered if she’d imagined it. Her paws hugged the ground, her glossy fur barely registering the chill of the night air.

Gingerly, she tested her claws, stroking them along the ground and reveling in the long-forgotten feel of the moor beneath.

Glancing over, she saw Tynan waiting next to her. In panther form, he was much larger than she remembered him, much more powerful and magnificent. His body was thick and muscular, his tail long and thick. Black fur shimmered in the hazy glow of the moon, while his eyes gleamed gold as they fixed on her. He inclined his head as if to check she was okay. She padded across to him and nuzzled her head to his, rubbing along his jaw and brushing against his whiskers. In answer, he raised a paw and stroked the soft pads along her shoulder, his claws gently caressing her own fur.

They began slowly, and she knew he let her set the pace. It felt strange, and at the same time, exhilarating. The ground yielded, the soft earth kicking up, the smell of dust in her nostrils and the air alive with scents and smells unfamiliar to her in human form. Sounds reached her feline ears. That of small animals scurrying out of her path, night insects, the gentle rustle of bushes. The echo of her paws pounding across the earth.

The sound of Tynan beside her. Always beside her. Watching out for her. Keeping her safe.

She glanced across to her lover, met his golden eyes. In them, she saw everything she had ever dreamed of seeing, of having. His love.

She continued to run, reacquainting herself with the moor again. With the sights, the scents, the sounds. All the while, a feeling of joy reverberated around her, within her. And the truth of it resonated with her whole being.

Now, she was whole.

Now, she was loved.

Now, she was home.