Beast (20 page)

I got into this cab with every intention of going to the hospital and making sure that Chess is okay. But the closer I get, the angrier I feel.

Yes – Liam is right, okay?

I got attacked and Chess ran for the fucking hills. Literally. And I’m supposed to be marrying this asshole.

But for all of Liam’s efforts to
save
me from Chess, from the attacker, from myself, he’s never made clear what he feels for me. I’ve given him multiple opportunities to admit to having feelings for me and he’s failed me every time. I’m not doing it anymore.

But I can’t go sit by Chess’s bedside and play the dutiful fiancée right now.

I instruct the cab driver to turn around. I’m heading down to Gramercy.

Ruthie opens the door of her loft, wiping sleep from her eyes. “Jazz, come on in,” she says as she ties the sash of her robe around her waist. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Really sorry to wake you up at this time. I just…” I glance at the clock on the wall. It’s nearly 3 a.m.

“No, no. I’m glad you came here,” she says as she ushers me into the living room. “Michael is in Vermont campaigning for Chess. As soon as you called, I got out of bed and turned on the TV. I can’t believe you were attacked.”

I sigh. “Yeah…”

“The media isn’t reporting it yet.” She takes a seat on the couch, eyes focused on the television.

“It’s just a matter of time.” I sit next to her.

Her eyes move to me. “So, what the hell happened?”

I confide in my friend. I tell her everything. About dinner with Chess, my being nervous about having sex with him, about taking him to the riverfront, the attack, about Liam saving me. She listens, giving me her full attention without adding much to the conversation.

Then, a punchy musical score rings out on the television announcing breaking news. Chess’s face fills the screen. But the story being reported is not at all what I expected. It’s something that shocks me to my core.

The announcer speaks in a detached, neutral tone. “In breaking news tonight, presidential hopeful, Chess Davidson, finds himself at the center of a prostitution scandal. Several high-profile escorts, including this woman, Elena Popov –“ a blonde with thick, smoky eye makeup and cherry red lip gloss appears on the screen “—has accused the New York state senator of hiring her services as recently as last week –”

I turn to Ruthie, my mouth hanging open, and she looks just as horrified as I feel.

Luce is standing in the doorway to my office holding a brown paper bag in her hands. She’s wearing that scared puppy look she sports every time she has bad news to give me. My insides coil tightly.

“What is it?” I snap, my voice harsh and cruel to mask the utter panic I feel swelling up inside of me.

“I went to drop off Jasmine’s lunch,” she says tentatively. “She isn’t here.”

I furrow my eyebrows at her. “She took the day off?” Taking time off is understandable with all of the attention that Chess’s prostitution scandal and the attack have been getting. She must feel smothered. I’m furious that Shadow leaked Chess’s dalliances with prostitutes to the press. I know that he was only trying to help me get my girl, but he may have fucked things up even worse. If she believes that I’m the one who spread the story, she’ll be even less interested in speaking to me.

Luce shakes her head slowly. “She didn’t just take the day off. She cleared out her office. The secretaries are saying that she did it overnight.”

I bolt to my feet. “What do you mean she cleared out her office?” Her door has been closed all morning. I assumed that it was because she needed some privacy.

“I’m sorry, Liam,” Luce says in a small voice. “Jasmine’s gone.”

I tear past her, bursting open Jasmine’s office door.

It’s true. Her laptop, her diploma, all of her personal effects are gone. My heart is beating a million miles a minute. Brushing past a group of employees in the hallway, I sprint for the emergency exit and take the stairs all the way to the parking garage. I jump on my motorcycle and bolt out of there like a crazed person. I make it to her apartment in a fraction of the time that it should take. When I get there, I’m greeted by the ‘for rent’ sign hanging in her fourth floor window.

I drag my rough palm down my face.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Don’t tell me I’m too late.

“Mom, You can just toss that t-shirt in the garbage.”

It’s Liam’s t-shirt, the one I borrowed the night I cooked him tilapia and we danced to rap music in his kitchen. I don’t know why I kept it when it only serves to remind me of how stupid I was, playing house with a man who never wanted anything more than my friendship.

My mother looks over at me with soft eyes before shrugging and dumping the gray shirt onto the pile of clothes she plans to donate to the less fortunate.

I put my hands on my hips and look around. It seems like my whole life is packed into the suitcases and boxes and garbage bags scattered about on my living room floor. All I’m taking are my clothes, shoes, books and a few small personal items. I’ll be leaving most of my furniture; that was my landlord’s only request when I begged him to let me out of my lease early. “I think we’re just about done,” I say offering my mother a small, grateful smile.

She’d jumped into her minivan and driven down from Philadelphia when I called her this morning, choking back tears. I usually don’t fall apart in front of my parents. I don’t think I’ve cried in front of them since the day of Lily’s funeral. But today, I kind of just broke down. I don’t know what the hell I’ve accomplished since I moved to New York after law school, and now, I have one man embroiled in a sex scandal that’s gaining international press and the other is obviously responsible for leaking that debacle to the media.

What a mess!

No wonder Chess was more than willing to wait when I told him I wasn’t ready to have sex with him. He was having his fill of sex with his top-of-the-line escorts so he didn’t need me to satisfy his desires. And there I was thinking that he was just a gentleman.

When the news of the scandal hit the airwaves, he spent all of forty-five minutes calling me and leaving me messages, begging me to forgive him and help him weather this storm. When I repeatedly sent his calls to voicemail and ignored his texts, he moved on quickly. Within six hours, he was giving a press conference to apologize for his ‘lapse in judgment’, a docile-looking Asian woman claiming to be his long-time girlfriend standing solemnly at his side. Since then, he’s been too busy managing his PR nightmare to pay me too much mind. His team is scrambling around trying to clean up the debacle, but it’s only a matter of time until his presidential campaign folds.

And me? I just want to go home. Regroup and get my mind in order. My mom is here to help.

She comes over to me and wraps me in her arms. I collapse against her, pressing my cheek to her shoulder. “I’m proud of you, y’know.” She whispers it against my hair and I start to cry. I haven’t given her anything to be proud of.

“Thanks for helping me, mom.”

She kisses the top of my head, the way she used to when I was a child. She eases out of the hug and smiles at me. “I’ll go start putting some stuff in the car.”

I return her smile because she’s giving me exactly what I need right now.

Understanding. No judgment.

I don’t expect my father to be so kind.

There’s a loud bang at the door just as she leans down to grab a box. We exchanged a puzzled look as I pad over to the door and peer through the peephole.

I growl, goosebumps rising along my arms as I throw the door open. “Liam…”

This is the part where I’m supposed to tell him off, to yell at him and tell him to go to hell.

But before I can say a word, his large hands cradle my cheeks and his lips plunge into mine. The kiss steals my breath away and my legs go weak. My arms loop around his neck, both to keep myself from falling and to pull him closer. His fingers knot in my hair before his hands travel down my back and cup my ass, squeezing tight. His tongue strokes into my mouth, greedy and aggressive. I moan against his lips, throwing one leg around his waist.

I faintly register the sound of my mother clearing her throat indiscreetly somewhere behind me. “Hello?” she says. I hastily pull away and spin around in her direction.
Ooops.
Her quizzical look shifts from me to Liam and back again.

Liam’s eyes fill with embarrassment. “Hello,” he says taking awkward strides towards her and stretching out his hand for a quick shake. “Liam Cartwright,” he says in introduction.

My mother’s eyebrow inches up as she peers over his shoulder at me. “Cartwright? As in Cartwright Moretti Stevenson,
Cartwright
? Your boss?”

I cringe.
This looks really bad
. “Liam, this is my mother, Alessandra Santiago.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Liam says seeming to have somewhat recovered from his dramatic entrance.

“Mmmhmm,” my mother says giving me a disapproving glare.

“Mom, why don’t you start bringing some of the boxes to the car,” I say sweetly. I guess I need to deal with Liam sooner or later. It might as well be now.

She sighs. “Fine.”

She bends to hike up the box sitting at her feet, but Liam rests a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “Maybe we should wait a while before we start moving the boxes.” He turns to me with a cocked eyebrow and I give him a stone-cold glare.

My mother grunts as she straightens up, smoothing down her blouse. “There was a jewelry shop that I wanted to visit on Broadway. I think I’ll go do that,” she snarls as she whisks by me.

When she’s closed the door behind her, I look at Liam and growl. “What are you doing here?”

He puts his hands on my shoulders. “You’re not leaving, Jasmine.”

I roll my eyes at him and shrug out of his grasp. “Why should I stay? So we can be ‘
friends’
?” I draw air-quotes around the word.

His hands clasp my waist, sliding down over my ass. I try not to like the feel of his hands on my hips, but it’s a battle I’m losing. “No, Jasmine. I can’t just be your friend anymore. I want it all. I need it all.”

I laugh bitterly. “
Now
you want me?
Now
after everything that’s happened?”

He stares at me with earnest eyes. “I’ve always wanted you. From the moment I first set my eyes on you, from the moment I first heard your voice. I just knew that I was no good for you.” His fingers travel up my back, under the hem of my shirt.

Why do I already feel my resistance melting?

I stare up into his face and try to swallow down the emotions rising into my chest. “All you’ve done is hurt me. Why should I trust you now? What’s changed?”

He drops to his knees in front of me, looking up into my face. “Because now I finally get it. On my own, I’m no good…but when I’m with you…you make me better…your love makes me a man again. Your love heals me.”

Tears sting at the back of my eyes as he squeezes my body to his, pressing his face to my heart. I melt into the heat of his body and let go. And just for a second, I almost forget that he’s the asshole who broke my heart.

“I lied. I told myself that I was protecting you by keeping my distance. But now I realize, it was you protecting me all along. When you come around, my demons stay away. Your love is the glue that holds me together.”

I blow out a sigh. “I can’t forgive you, Liam,” I say trying to wiggle out of his arms.

He presses a kiss to my breast, on the fabric of my shirt. Then, he kisses my stomach, my ribs, my hip. “You’re not leaving, Jasmine. You’re mine. You always were. I was wrong not to claim you from day one. I should have made you mine from the start.”

“So much has happened. I can’t just pretend you didn’t hurt me.”

He rises to his feet and takes my face in his hands. “Try, Jasmine. Take a chance on me. One more time. It’s all I ask. I won’t hurt you again. I swear.”

I back away from him. This is all so sudden. It’s all so much. For the past two years, I’ve wanted to hear him say just this, but all I’ve gotten was heartache instead and now, right as I’m about to leave…

“I love you, Jasmine…”

The bottom drops out of my stomach. There’s something in his eyes that ignites my body, propelling it towards his.

Fuck it. I want this.

Our bodies crash together, so eager for the contact.

His lips are on my mouth, my cheek, my neck. I slide his pants down to the ground just as he unbuttons my skirt, pushing it down my hips. “I love you…” He mutters it again and again over ever inch of my flesh.

He lifts me off of my feet and I hook my legs around his back as he carries me to the bed. He lies me down and hovers above me. A sob pours out of my throat when he lowers his lips to my ear and whispers, “I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

Call me what you like but if I give him my body again, I need his heart in return. I can’t wake up tomorrow and find that he’s left me again. “Promise you won’t leave me this time.”

“I won’t leave,” he breathes against my neck as he pulls my panties off of my body. “I’m here to stay. Forever. I love you.”

He kneels on the bed and spreads my legs wide, baring my pussy. The slick, wet flesh betrays my arousal. I want him and my body isn’t willing to lie.

“Fuck…” he grumbles.

He’s drunk off of me. He won’t ever let me go. That’s what he whispers against my ankle and my calf and my knee, the inside of my thigh. And I love every word.

His warm lips cover my clit and he sucks greedily. Desire swells in my bones. My body keens towards his mouth and he eats me with a passion, as if pleasuring me is his life’s purpose.

Words begin falling from my lips and I have no control over it. “I’m yours, Liam…this pussy is yours…Eat it. Lick it…Take it.” My back arches as his tongue lashes against my sensitive flesh and my juices slide out onto his tongue, his beard. He’s lost in the moment and I’m a willing prisoner to his lust.

Just as I’m about to fall into ecstasy, he moves his mouth away. I moan, my body grieving his absence. “I want to be inside of you, Jasmine,” he whispers. “And I want to feel everything.”

I know exactly what he’s asking. I’ve never given my body to anyone in that way, but when Liam asks, I give in without hesitation. I reach between his legs and guide his stiff shaft into me, hard and raw. He drives himself into me. So hard. Again and again. My pussy pulses around him, squeezing him, sucking him in.

It doesn’t take long before I’m writhing and crying. He’s pumping into me. He’s throbbing inside of me.

“I’m coming…” I groan.

He pants, sweat dotting his brow. “Me too.”

I spiral headlong into my orgasm. My whole body contracts and the only thing that matters is Liam pulsing inside of me, spurting inside of me. It seems to go on forever and ever.

When he finally drops onto the sheets beside me, fighting to gain his breath, panic sets in.
Oh God – he’s going to leave me again. I can’t take it. I won’t survive this time
.