Be Good (4 page)

Me:
How do you know Olivia and Zach?

Brett:
I tutored Zach in math. That’s how I know most of the people in your crowd.

I vaguely remembered some of the kids talking about their awesome math tutor. I didn’t pay
too much attention. Even though I barely passed math, I didn’t care about it enough to even bother with a tutor.

Me:
I guess you do have to be good in math to be an Aeronautical Engineer
.

Brett:
So, you’ve already checked out my profile. Good to know
.

I cringed. I hadn’t meant to be that obvious.

Me:
You caught me
.

Brett:
I’m flattered. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I already checked out yours, too. I love that photo of you on the beach in San Diego with your friends. Nice bikini. I already have a copy of it saved to my desktop
.

I wondered if he was teasing me or if he really had downloa
ded the photo.

Me:
Do you really have my photo on your desktop?

There was a pause.

Brett:
I guess you’ll just have to come to Palo Alto to find out.

Now I was the one who was trying to think of a response. Did he really just invite me to visit him in Palo Alto?

Brett:
You can also bring back my Pearl Jam T-shirt.

Me:
If you looked at my Profile, you know that I’m a paralegal. I can’t afford to fly to the coast on my meager salary.

I waited.
And waited. I hadn’t meant to scare him off. I just wanted to see if he was serious about wanting to see me again.

I was starting to think he had blown me off when he popped back on line.

Brett:
I bought a plane ticket for you. It’s open, so you can book any date you want.

I read the line several times to make sure I was reading it co
rrectly. He actually booked a flight for me. Just like that. But why? Was he really that eager to see me again? It didn’t seem possible.

Me:
Really?

Brett:
Check your email.

Me:
But why?

Brett:
Maybe I want to see you again.

I could feel my heart racing again. The thought of seeing Brett again excited me and scared the shit out of me at the same time.

Next weekend was Memorial Day weekend, a three-day weekend.

Me:
What about next weekend? Do you have Memorial Day off? Do you already have plans?

Brett:
Yes, yes and no.

Me:
I’ll see if I can leave early from work on Friday.

Brett:
Just let me know the flight number and when to pick you up
.

Me:
Thank you.

Brett:
See you soon.

***

A few hours later, my roommate walked in with some funky herbs and a burner of some kind. Great! Another one of her crazy rituals. She loved to invoke gods and goddess (okay, mostly goddesses) by burning all kinds of crazy shit.

“Please tell me that’s pot,” I said
as I put down the
People
magazine I was reading.

She rolled her eyes at me. I knew it wasn’t pot. My roommate never
polluted
(her word not mine) her body with drugs. She didn’t even drink alcohol. I just liked giving her a hard time.

She plopped down on the couch next to me. “Don’t you have anything better
to do than read celebrity gossip?”

“I like celebrity gossip.”

“I have a bookshelf filled with novels and non-fiction books. Help yourself.”

I sighed. “Books take too much of a commitment. You know how I am about making commitments.”

Winter tossed her long dark bangs away from her eyes. It was a habit she had for as long as I’d known her, which wasn’t very long. We’d only lived together a few months. I had been struggling to pay my rent for several months and finally got kicked out of my apartment. My parents didn’t want me moving back in with them. (Not that I could blame them.) They had turned my bedroom into a hobby room when I left for college. They wouldn’t welcome me back even if they still had a spare bedroom. My parents and I didn’t see eye to eye on anything, especially all the ways in which they thought I was ruining my life (
Flaw 62
).

When my brother found out I was going to be homeless, he told me about Winter Raven, his law partner’s sister. She had
been looking for a roommate and hadn’t been able to find the right person. Truth be told, she probably scared most of the prospects away with her dark clothing, make-up and hair. She looked like she was dressed in a Halloween witch costume every day of the year.

When we met, Winter said she remembered me from high school. I was two years older, and had
quite a reputation. It would be shocking if she didn’t know who I was. I had no clue who she was but I had a feeling she probably didn’t dress like a witch back then. That, I would have remembered.

“I should probably tell you that I’m going away for the weekend
.” I said casually. “I didn’t want you to worry when you didn’t see me around.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m going to see this guy in Palo Alto.”

Winter’s face couldn’t have looked more shocked if I had slapped her. “You’re going to spend the entire weekend with a guy.
One guy?”

I nodded.

“How well do you know this guy? Actually, how well does he know you?”

“Not very.”

“Obviously.”

Winter’s evil cat made his way over to her and jumped in her lap. He turned and hissed
at me.

“On
yx,” Winter said as she petted the evil animal. “Be nice to Anna.”

The cat purred as Winter stroked him.

“So, who’s the guy you’re spending the weekend with?”

I shrugged, trying to act casual about the whole thing, even though I was already scared shitless. I didn’t know how to be in a relationship because I had never actually had one. I didn’t even know if that’s what Brett wanted. For all I knew, he just wanted to get laid again and figured I was a sure bet. The more I thought about it, the more I figured that was probably the reason he wanted to see me again. I was actually a little disappointed even though I knew I shouldn’t be. I was easy. I had already slept with him. There was no reason for him to think I wouldn’t do it again.

Winter pushed on. “How’d you meet him?”

“The wedding.
We went to college together.”

She nodded as if that explained it all when it really didn’t e
xplain anything.

***

It was another ho-hum week at my brother’s boring law firm. He did contract law, which may be one of the least interesting things in the entire world. Even though most of the time I felt like beating my head against the desk (it would be less painful than the work I had to do), at least I had a job. And it wasn’t waiting tables. Or scrubbing toilets.

Friday morning, I knew I had to ask my brother if I could leave early to get to the airport. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to reveal about what I was doing. My brother, Jake, had a tende
ncy to judge everything I did, which is kind of funny considering he always wanted to be a judge and that was the main reason he went to law school. He ended up in contract law because he realized he loved making money more. Contract lawyers apparently made a lot of money because my brother loved what he did.

I poked my head into Jake’s office. “Hey, Bro,” I said. He hated when I called him that, especially in the office. I had a tendency to intentionally do things like that to annoy people and try to get a rise out of them (
Flaw 7
: Instigator).

Jake looked up from the mass of paperwork on his desk. I guess the technology age hadn’t quite made its way completely to the Law Offices of Miller and Hart.

“What do you want, Anna,” Jake uttered in his typical clipped tone. Jake was perfect in every way. He was his high school Valedictorian. He got a scholarship to Yale and then went to Yale law school. When he came back to Arizona, he married his high school sweetheart, a Prom Queen, who is now the perfect housewife and mother to their two perfect children. They made me want to barf.

“I need to leave early today,” I
stated.

That made him look
up from paperwork. I never asked to leave early. I never asked for time off. I had a pile of sick and vacation days I never used. As much as I hated my job, I needed the money and it was a last-chance kind of a thing. I had gotten fired from several jobs since I graduated college (I extended the college party mentality a little too long, which didn’t make me a very good employee). To say my resume was bleak would have been a compliment and I had no references. Working for my brother was really my only option and not one I wanted to lose.

“Okay,” Jake
agreed. I could tell he wanted to ask me why but we really didn’t have a close relationship.

“Thanks,” I said and turned to leave.

It surprised me when I heard Jake say, “Is everything okay?”

I didn’t want to laugh in his face but that was such a stupid question to ask his completely fucked-up little sister.
Okay
was not a word I would use to describe anything about my life. “Sure,” I lied. “Everything is fine.”

Three

On the plane, I was seated next to a huge man, who had purchased two seats to accommodate his wide girth. He was sweating profusely and I hoped he didn’t have a heart attack before we landed.

I
was seriously doubting my wardrobe choices but I had no idea what to pack. First, I had never been to Palo Alto, so I had no idea what people there wore or what the weather was like. The internet said it was going to be 65 degrees all weekend and overcast. I lived in Phoenix my entire life and was used to seasons of hot and very hot. Phoenix was almost always sunny. My wardrobe wasn’t exactly conducive to overcast skies and 65 degrees. Second, I had no idea what the agenda for the weekend was except probably sex. I emailed my flight itinerary to Brett but he only emailed a short note back confirming that he’d be there to pick me up and apologizing that he couldn’t talk much because he had a lot of work to do. He said he wanted to make sure he had no work to take home over the weekend, which I thought was kind of sweet.

I noticed the large guy sitting next to me was
asleep, which calmed my nerves at bit. I really didn’t want to have to give him CPR, or anything like that. Not that I actually remembered the details from what we learned about the procedure in high school health class. I was too busy flirting with the captain of the football team, who happened to be assigned to seat right next to me. For the first time, I felt a twinge of regret. Maybe if I had paid more attention to what was going on in school and less attention to the boys sitting next to me, I would have an actual career instead of barely getting through college with a major in communication (the only credits I could patch together in my abysmal transcript) and end up working at my brother’s law firm.

When the plane landed, I actually started to panic. At first, I thought I was the one having
a heart attack then I realized I was scared out of my mind. Hard to believe that someone, who most people said was fearless, was actually scared to see a guy.

“Are you okay,” the big guy next to me asked as we pulled into the
jet way. Sweat was pouring down his face again. If he thought there was something wrong, I obviously looked bad. “Afraid of flying?”

I shook my head.
“No, just a guy.”

The man laughed a big hearty laugh that made his fat jiggle. “I’m sure someone as cute as you
has nothing to worry about.”

If you only knew, I thought.
If you only knew…

Brett was waiting for me front and center of the
large crowd of people waiting for their loved ones and friends to deplane. That made me wonder what I was to him. I wasn’t really a friend and I definitely wasn’t a loved one. Did he think I’d be some kind of long distance fuck buddy, perhaps? I guess I’d find out in…three…two…one!

I could see Brett’s green eyes light up as soon as he spotted me. He was wearing black dress jeans and a white button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. If I’d never met him
before and didn’t know anything about his past, I wouldn’t peg him as a geek at all. He actually looked semi-hot.

When I approached, he gave me a warm smile.
He surprised me with a small bouquet of flowers he had been holding behind his back. They were garden flowers tied with a ribbon. It was the kind of bouquet you’d expect a sixth grade boy to give to the teacher he had a crush on. It was exceptionally cute.

“Thank you for the flowers
.”

“I grew them. They’re from my garden.”

That may have been the last thing I expected him to say. I could feel that damn withered heart of mine start to expand again. Brett had that effect on me.

Then he bent down and gave me a light kiss on the forehead. “I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered. I could feel his breath on my cheek and it made me tingl
e. I thought he might try to touch me, or kiss my lips, or hug me but he did none of those things. He simply put his hands in his pockets and said, “Come on. Let’s get your bags.”

Brett didn’t live that far from the airport but
the trip seemed to take forever in traffic. I noticed he was playing Pearl Jam on his car stereo and that made my smile. I wasn’t surprised he drove a Toyota Prius. I should have guessed he’d be a hybrid owner. It seemed to fit his personality. Not that I really knew him. I hardly knew him at all. But it fit what I knew about him and what I sensed about him.

“Thanks again for inviting me
.”

“Thanks for coming to visit me.”

I liked watching Brett drive. It was one of the few places I’d seen him look so confident and sure of himself. It kind of turned me on.

“So, you work for NASA? That’s impressive.”

“I guess so.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it.”

“Do people ever give you shit about being a rocket scientist?”

He laughed. “What do you think?”

“They’re just jealous.”

“Maybe,” he said but I didn’t think he believed me. “Do you like your job as a paralegal?”

“I work for my brother’s law firm. It was pretty much the only job I could get.”

“You didn’t really answer my question.”

I sighed. “Sometimes, when I’m sitting in my cubicle, I think beating my head against the desk would be less painful than my job.”

“That good, huh” he teased.

“It’s my dream job,” I joked.

“What is your dream job? Your real one. If you could do anything in the world, what would you do?”

My first response was to shrug. I had never thought about what I really wanted to do with my life. I usually never thought beyond the weekend and the next party.

“I have no idea,” I said finally.

Brett was quiet for a moment, then he said, “Well, what did you want to be when you were little?”

“Grown up,” I said without hesitation. “From the time I was eight years old, I can remember wanting to be pretty and popular and the life of the party.”

“Well, you are all those things
.” He was quiet for a moment then he said, “What about being a party planner?”

I had never thought about it. Did people actually get paid to plan parties? If so, that was
the job I wanted.

He continued. “We could do some research on it and see if it’s a viable profession.”

“Thanks. That would mean a lot to me.”

I could see a small smile form in the corner of Brett’s face. 

By the time we got to his place, I felt exhausted. Traveling always wore me out. All I wanted to do was have a hot shower and go to sleep.

Brett’s townhouse was amazing.
It made my tiny apartment seem like a dump, which it really wasn’t, but it wasn’t nice either. Winter and I lived marginally better than I did when I was in college, when I actually did live in a dump. Winter and I had what you might call a starter apartment.

Brett’s place was no starte
r. The townhouse was expertly decorated and looked like a model home or the feature story in a home design magazine.

When I glanced over at Brett,
his face was lined with tension. I hoped he wasn’t regretting inviting me to spend the weekend with him.

“Well, what do you think?”
He motioned around the place. He seemed to be holding his breath waiting for my response.

“It’s
incredible—truly spectacular.”

He breathe
d a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you like it. It’s already paid for so I’m kind of stuck here for a while.”

“You own this place?” I
tried not to sound too shocked.

He suddenly looked embarrassed.

“That’s not a bad thing,” I said quickly. “It’s just…we’ve only been out of college a year. I know you have a great job but this place must have cost a fortune.”

He nodded. “I inherited some money when my aunt passed away. I was her only nephew. It was enough to buy this place. I did a few internships when I was in college and saved enough money for all of the furniture and decor.”

I was so impressed with everything about Brett but at the same time, I could feel myself shrinking. For the first time in my life, I felt intimidated by a guy.

“Let me show you to your room
.” Brett grabbed my bag and we headed up the stairs.

There were two fully decorated guest bedrooms with a bat
hroom between them. There was also a small open study, where Brett had a desk and computer, and what looked like a gaming area with a sleek flat screen television and video games.

“You can stay in either room,” Brett
offered. “But I thought you might like this one better.”

He led me into a room that was decorated
in beautiful floral prints like a Monet painting.

   “I call i
t my garden room,” he said as he placed my bag on the twin bed.

By this time, my head was spinning out of control. Why was he putting me in a guest bedroom? I had assumed we’d be sleeping in his bedroom. Why didn’t he want me in his room? What was I even doing here? Had I made a big mistake
? I could feel my heart start to race and I actually felt lightheaded with all the thoughts swirling around inside it. I must have looked panicked because Brett looked at me with deep concern in his eyes.

“Are you okay
? Here, sit down.” He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him, urging me to sit next to him.

I did.
Then I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself.

“What do you want, Brett?” I
asked as I looked into his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Why am I here?”

He looked like he wanted to touch me but he didn’t. “I want to get to know you better.”

He looked down at the flowered comforter on the bed and we sat in silence for a minute. Then he glanced up at me and said, “I just want you to know that I’m not going to sleep with you this weekend.”

Why not
, was my first response, but I kept it to myself. Guys always wanted to sleep with me and that’s usually all they wanted. But that certainly explained why I was in the guest bedroom. I let him continue.

“I should have never slept with you at the wedding. It was a mistake and I’m sorry. I already told you why I did it but that was stupid. That wasn’t me. I’m not
that guy
.”

I wanted to ask him what he meant by
that guy
but I had a feeling I already knew. He wasn’t the love-m-and-leave-m type. He was the falls-in-love-and-gets-engaged type. At some point, I would bring up Miss Sweater Vest and the fact that he neglected to mention they were engaged but that was a conversation for another time.

“I want to take things slow and get to know you, Anna.”

I had no idea how to take things slow. I never bothered to really get to know any of the guys I had been with and they sure as hell never bothered to get to know me. This was completely uncharted territory for me. But there was something about Brett, about the way he made me feel, that made me want to at least try.

“Okay,” I
agreed. Then I leaned over and kissed Brett’s cheek. He gulped then gave me a half smile. When he looked at me, he had so much tenderness in his eyes, it took my breath away for a moment.

He softly brushed his hand down my cheek, just like guys did in the movies. It always looked so romantic and I wondered
if guys ever did it in real life. A slight shiver ran through me as I felt his light touch on my skin.

“I want to kiss you right now,” he said softly and he stroked my cheek again. His eyes were glued on mine. I instinctively bit my bottom lip. “But I’m going to wait.”

Then he got up and placed his hands in his pockets. “Sleep well, Anna,” he said and walked out.

Brett’s guest bed could have been the most comfortable bed I ever slept in in my entire life.
His headboard was covered with overstuffed pillows and the mattress felt like I was sleeping on a cloud. The air was chilly but the comforter was fluffy and warm. I felt like I was in a cozy cocoon.  As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell into a deep and restful sleep.

Bacon.
And coffee. And pancakes. I was awakened by the delicious smells of my favorite breakfast foods. I stretched and groaned when I realized I’d have to get up from the cuddly bed. I had just emotionally prepared myself for getting up when there was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” I
responded.

Brett entered with a tray overflowing with breakfast foods. “I hope you’re hungry,” he said as he set the tray down next to me.

“I’m starving,” I said as I looked at the pancakes with butter and syrup, bacon, and scrambled eggs. He also had coffee and orange juice. “This is too much. You didn’t have to go to so much trouble.”

I loved breakfast foods but I usually got up so late I had to grab an energy bar and eat it in the car on the way to work. On weekends, I was usually out so late that I slept through breakfast and ended up eating a very late lunch/early dinner.