Bayview Heights Trilogy (58 page)

“How did he know that?”

“He got a copy of your application.”

Seth paced to the other side of the room. “My
God, he must really want to hurt me.”

“He does. But I’m not going to let him.”

Seth whipped around. “What does
that
mean?”

She raised her chin. “I’m not going to see
you after tonight. In return, Philip won’t make this information
public.”

“No! That’s blackmail. I won’t allow it.”

“Actually,” she said, “I blackmailed
him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Philip didn’t set the terms. He was going to
go ahead and reveal the story, thinking to destroy you. I put the
terms to him.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No. I told him I’d leave town—and
him—forever if he made the story public. If he killed it, I’d stay
here, but call it quits with you.”

A flush climbed up Seth’s neck. “The hell you
will.”

“There’s no other way.”

“We decided we could be together and work
this out with Philip.”

“We decided we could be together
if
Philip would accept you.”

“And?”

“Don’t you see that this threat to expose
your past shows he’ll never accept you?”

Thunderclouds passed over Seth’s face. “All
right, so he never accepts me. We’ll be together without his
blessing.”

“Then he’ll make the information public and
destroy your reputation.”

“I don’t care.”

“Well, I do. Think ahead a little. We suffer
through a scandal, you lose your job here. You may or may not get
another job in education. Depending on how far Philip goes with
this, it could follow you anywhere. You’d be miserable.”

“Not if I had you,” he said, coming to stand
before her.

“That won’t be enough.”

“Lacey, I—”

She held up her palm. “No, let me finish. If
we get married, what do you think will happen to my
grandfather?”

“He’ll die a lonely old man. Like he
deserves.”

Lacey gasped.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Regrouping, Lacey went on, “Seth, Philip gave
up his career as one of the country’s top journalists for me. He
doesn’t deserve to die alone. Besides, a scandal and losing me
could lead to his having another heart attack. One he might not
recover from. Do you honestly believe you and I could live happily
together knowing we’d killed my grandfather to do it?”

“Don’t put it like that.”

“That’s how it is.”

“Lacey, honey, you said we’d work this out.
You said you wouldn’t give me up.”

“That was when I thought there was a chance
Philip would accept you. Now I know he
won’t
.” She gripped
his arms. “Please, Seth, for all our sakes, try to see that.”

“No, Lacey, no. It can’t end this way.”

“It has to.”

Abruptly Seth let go of her and prowled the
room once more. She watched him struggle to gain control, struggle
to internalize—and accept—what she’d said. It took a long time, but
she could tell when he did. He stopped pacing and studied her for
long seconds. The realization that her words were true, her points
accurate, dawned on his handsome, beloved face. “I can’t believe
this. I’m really going to lose you?” Seth walked to her and gently
took her in his arms. “Lace, oh, Lord.”

She willed herself not to cry. She couldn’t
break down. She had to be strong. If she wasn’t, Seth would never
let her go.

So she concentrated on the strength of his
muscles against her breasts. The silky texture of his hair. How his
shoulders made her feel small and feminine. Drawing back, she
raised her eyes to his. As she drew his head down, she whispered,
“I stopped at the shop in the lobby downstairs. We’re prepared
tonight, Seth.”

He closed his eyes. “You mean you want—”

“I want to make love for…” She didn’t say the
rest, but she knew he understood,
For the last time.

The misery on his face, the utter desolation
in those blue eyes she loved so much, almost undid her. She stood
on tiptoe and brought her mouth to his.

As soon as his lips brushed across hers, she
knew that this time their lovemaking would be as gentle as it had
been out of control the last time. He barely touched her with his
mouth; his hands skimmed over her arms, around her back, cradling
her bottom and easing her close. She felt herself melt into him, be
absorbed by him, steep in him. His lips were everywhere, but still
gentle and tender.

Slowly, as if they had years together instead
of hours, he shifted and tugged at the buttons on her jacket.
Underneath, his teeth lightly grazed the black strap of her bra
before seeking fingers came up to undo it. As he filled his hands
with her breasts, he murmured, “So lovely,” and kissed each one.
“You are so, so lovely,” he repeated.

He loosened her skirt, removed it and her
panty hose along with her panties. His hands lingered over every
curve. When she realized he was memorizing her body, she shivered
with grief.

Mistaking her reaction, he led her to the
bed, turned down the covers and gently pressed her down so she sat
on the mattress. She reached out and pulled him to stand between
her legs. The wool of his suit felt slightly rough on the skin of
her inner thighs. She undid his belt as he shrugged out of his
coat, pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. Her mouth sought
his skin; her lips brushed back and forth across his stomach, and
his arousal pressed insistently into her chest.

“I’ll never forget how you taste, how you
smell,” she mumbled against his skin.

He groaned, from pain at her words, she
realized, so she unzipped his pants to distract him.

Seth felt her take him into her hands, stroke
him and kiss him lightly.

Arousal warred with rage inside him.

As she had meant it to, arousal won. He
endured the caress as long as he could, then eased her back onto
the sheets. He slid her up until she lay on the king-size bed.
Quickly he shed the rest of his clothes and sheathed himself with
one of the condoms she’d bought. His eyes locked on hers. Did she
know how sad they looked? How he could tell she was crumbling
inside? Somehow, he knew she needed this—so, dear God, did he—but
the poignant sorrow on her face ate away at him.

When he covered her body with his, he said,
“I love you, Lacey. I’ll never love anyone like I love you.”

“Come inside me now. I need to feel you
there.”

He obeyed. He was powerless to stop the
gentle glide into her soft, welcoming body. Just as he was
powerless to stop the arch of her hips against him. Instead, he
helped her, inching his hands under her bottom to lift her to meet
him more fully. He slid in and out of her, only twice before the
spasms overtook her. She called out his name. Just before the final
thrust, just before he emptied himself inside her, he saw the
sparkle of tears in her eyes.

Seth surfaced from the depths of the most
intense orgasm of his life to the sound of her sobs. Slowly, he
edged to his side. Because she whimpered and said, “No, don’t leave
me,” he moved her with him. He wasn’t ready for the separation
either.

Cradling her against him, he tugged up the
blankets and held on to her. All she said was, “How will I ever
bear watching you go on with your life— fall in love with someone
else, have a child with her?”

“Shh,” he said and smoothed her hair
down.

She cried longer, but eventually the tears
abated and dried on her face. Then she fell asleep.

But Seth didn’t. He stayed awake, analyzing
every facet of what she’d told him. He could get around losing his
job. He’d find somewhere to teach, even if he had to donate his
services in underprivileged areas. With Lacey, it would be worth
the sacrifice of his reputation. But it was the fact that Philip
could have another heart attack that Seth couldn’t rationalize. If
Philip died, Lacey would never be happy. She’d lost every other
member of her family; she was still on the razor edge of grief
because of Kevin’s death. She would never survive losing Philip
over something she’d precipitated.

Near 2:00 a.m., when it was time to wake her,
Seth accepted that there was only one thing he could do for her
now, one last gift he could give her.

And he’d do it, damn it, no matter what the
cost to himself.

ON THE MONDAY before Christmas, at lunchtime,
Philip dragged open his front door to find Seth Taylor on the
porch. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Taylor scanned Philip’s rumpled bathrobe and
slippers. A frown creased his forehead. “Are you ill?”

“No,” Philip said gruffly. “I overslept.” In
truth, Philip had roamed the downstairs most of the night, worrying
about Lacey. He didn’t have enough energy to get dressed yet. “What
do you want?”

“Five minutes of your time.” Philip started
to shake his head, but Seth said, “I won’t leave until I’ve spoken
with you.”

Hearing the steel in the man’s voice, Philip
stepped aside and motioned him in. He should have known Taylor
wouldn’t take this lying down. The only thing Lacey had told Philip
yesterday was that she’d broken off with Taylor. He could still see
her in the doorway of her bedroom, lifting her brown eyes—brimming
with utter anguish—to him. “It’s done,” was all she’d said.

Philip hadn’t experienced the sense of
satisfaction he’d expected to feel when he heard those words.

Still in the foyer, Philip shivered with the
cold Taylor had brought with him. “We can go in the living room, if
you’re chilled,” Taylor said, his tone concerned.

Anger kindled inside Philip. He refused to be
susceptible to Taylor’s phony solicitousness. “What do you
want?”

“To give you these.” Taylor held out an
envelope in his gloved hand. His
unsteady
gloved hand.

Regarding him carefully, Philip snatched up
the envelope. With a long glare at the man he hated more than
anyone in the world, Philip ripped open the seal. Inside he found
two letters, both written by Taylor. One to the Bayview Heights
Board of Education. One to the State Education Department in
Albany. Philip scanned them. “What’s all this about?”

“You win, Philip. I’m leaving Bayview Heights
High School.”

Philip ignored the undiluted sadness in the
other man’s voice. “Running scared, Taylor?”

Taylor’s face reddened and his hands fisted
at his sides. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not afraid of you. For myself, anyway.
I’m only fearful of what you can do to your granddaughter. If I
thought Lacey could handle a fight, I’d stay and give you the
battle of your life. But she can’t withstand one after all she’s
been through.”

“I can take care of Lacey.”

“You’ve done a
wonderful
job
lately.” Taylor gave him a scathing glance to accompany his
sarcastic comment. “Tell me, Philip, how was she yesterday?”

Philip’s heart plummeted. Lacey had come home
Saturday night around 3:00 a.m. She’d stayed in bed all day Sunday.
When he’d gone upstairs at noon to check on her, she came to the
door disheveled and distraught. All she’d said was, “I’m tired,
Grandpa. I need to sleep.”

“She was tired. She slept most of the
day.”

A muscle tensed in Taylor’s jaw. “That
doesn’t sound like Lacey.”

No, of course it didn’t. Philip had gone back
up at four in the afternoon with soup, crackers and some milk. From
the doorway again, she’d glanced at the meal; he was afraid she
might vomit all over it. “Are you sick, honey?” he’d asked. “Should
I call Doc Meyers?”

She’d shaken her head and returned to
bed.

Philip shifted from one foot to the other.
“It’ll take her a while to get through this. First Kevin’s death,
now you. Her relationship with you has made her miserable.”

Taylor’s teeth clenched. “A fact I truly
regret.”

The other man’s acceptance of his role in
Lacey’s pain pricked Philip’s conscience. Especially in light of
the fact that Philip was more concerned about Lacey than he was
letting on. He’d gone back to her room at eight in the evening,
with hot chocolate. She’d let him in then, but slid back in bed.
She’d sipped a little cocoa, staring blindly into space. Then she’d
looked at him with hollow eyes. “I need to go back to sleep,
Grandpa.”

Her dejected tone tore at him. “Honey,
I--”

“No, please, just give me space.”

He had, but he’d heard her sobs as he’d
closed the door, and twice when he’d checked on her during the
night, she was crying again.

Taylor drew him out of the recollection. “My
leaving Bayview Heights will help her get over me,” Taylor said,
nodding toward the papers he’d given Philip.

“How?”

“Bayview is too small a place for us to avoid
seeing each other.” He cleared his throat. “And eventually, if I
dated or she was with another man, neither of us could…” Taylor’s
voice trailed off and he strove visibly to get control of himself.
“Suffice it to say that I love her too much to make her suffer any
more than she has to. And she’s ready to snap. It’s best for her if
I leave Bayview Heights.” He indicated the envelope again. “I have
the perfect vehicle to do it now. So I’m moving right after the new
year.”

Hardening his heart against Taylor, refusing
to acknowledge the selfless gesture, Philip held up the letters.
“You think I’m going to change my mind, tell you not to do
this?”

Seth shook his head sadly. “I’ve already done
it. By registered mail, this morning. I came here to tell you about
it so you’ll be prepared to deal with Lacey. She won’t find out
until after the holidays, but she’ll need you then. You’ll have to
help her through it.”

Philip remained silent.

Taylor straightened his shoulders. Against
his will, Philip really looked at the man. His eyes were bloodshot
and his skin drawn tight across his cheekbones.