Bartered Bride Romance Collection (77 page)

“God loves you,” James said, as if reading her thoughts. “He sent Jesus to die, to forgive our sins, but also to give us life, and even abundant life, the Bible says.”

Could that really be true? She pressed her hand to her forehead. “I’m just so confused.”

“God is not a God of confusion, Abby.” James reached for his Bible. “It says in here that God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.”

“But—”

“Do you think being fearful and worried about this is what God wants for you?” She shrugged. “But I don’t deserve—”

“Deserve?” James interrupted. “Why, Abby, none of us deserves a single one of God’s gracious gifts. We don’t deserve them, nor can we earn them.” He smiled. “I knew there was something that was keeping you from understanding this.” He pulled his Bible from the table and intently flipped through the pages until he came to the verse he had been seeking. “Here, read it for yourself. The second chapter of Ephesians, verse eight. Do you see it?”

She looked where his finger jabbed the page. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.” She read it again, aloud this time. Before she could say anything, he was flipping pages again.

“Now, read this one,” he pleaded.

“For … ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.” She squinted up at him. “What does this mean?” she whispered. Surely it didn’t mean what she suspected.

James framed her face with his hands. “It means,” he said, “that you are free. It means that we obey God out of love and gratefulness, not out of duty, debt … or fear.”

She was speechless.

James put the Bible down and drew her into his arms gently. “Father God, please reveal Your love to Abby. Open her eyes of understanding. She is not to serve You out of anything but love and gratefulness. Nor for anything she needs to repay, and not because of anything she has done or not done. She is Your child because she accepted Your Son. And she is righteous in Him alone.”

Abby lay in bed, her mind racing. Could it really be as simple as James made it sound? That she didn’t have to work and strive to pay her debts to God?

She closed her eyes, hearing the chilly fall wind howling past her window. She shivered, pulling the quilt up tighter under her chin. In the faint light of the banked fire, she could see James sleeping in front of the hearth.
Dear James
. She smiled, glad that he had moved back in the house from the barn. She pictured him lying next to her, his arms holding her close.

Her cheeks burned guiltily at the thought. Surely God would be displeased with her if she broke her vow, and something bad would happen. It just couldn’t be as easy as James had made it sound.

She heard Frank whimper outside the door, and she groaned. That dog never could stand to be outside when a storm was brewing. And from the sound of that wind, they were in for some snow tonight.

She crawled out of bed, shivering as her bare feet touched the icy wood floor. She must be crazy, getting up to let a dog in the house. Somehow the big creature had grown on her, she supposed. She’d better make sure the baby was warm enough, too. They were overdue for the first snowstorm of the season.

Frank scratched at the door again. “I’m coming,” she murmured. Glancing out the window as she made her way to the cradle, her heart stopped.

Surely she was imagining it—no! There was another flicker—“James!”

He woke with a start.

“James! The barn is on fire!”

“What?” He pulled his trousers on over his long johns. “Get some water and prime the pump,” he yelled over his shoulder as he flew out the door.

Her hands shaking, she grabbed the tin bucket, full of water, from its place beside the door. Closing the door softly behind her so she wouldn’t awaken Anna, she stepped into the chill of the night. She ran toward the pump, refusing to think of what would happen if the fire reached the house.

Images of her home in New York, charred beyond recognition, flashed into her mind. She could imagine Papa’s anguished cries for help, could smell the burning flesh—“Jesus!” she cried aloud. “Please help us!” She tripped over Frank and went sprawling, but somehow she managed to keep most of the water from spilling. She clambered back to her feet, hot tears streaming down her face.
Fear not, for I am with thee
. The bit of Scripture floated into her mind.
Fear not. Fear not
.

She reached the pump, feeling for the handle in the dark. Her breath came in short gasps, whether it was from exertion or fear she wasn’t sure. The water began to flow, and as it did, she felt God’s presence flow over her once again like the day He had healed Anna.

I will never leave you or forsake you, Abby
. The Spirit’s gentle voice broke into her consciousness.

James stumbled up with two buckets. “Keep pumping, Abby!” he shouted. She obeyed, listening as the water gushed out to fill the pails. “I love you, James,” she said suddenly.

For a long moment, James stood motionless. “What did you say?”

“I said I love you and I want to be your wife.”

“Hallelujah!” He dropped the buckets and swung her into his arms. “James, the barn!” she murmured against his lips.

He set her down reluctantly and grabbed the buckets. “God will see us through, Abby,” he said.

And so He did. The fire somehow stayed contained in the tack room, destroying everything in there, but not moving beyond to the stalls. “It’s a miracle,” James said the next morning, as they stood gazing at the soot-covered room. Snow had fallen lightly, making the scene seem cold and unreal.

Abby nodded, her heart too full for words. The night had certainly been one to remember. After the fire was finally out, she and James had collapsed onto the rockers in front of the fireplace.

“Thank God you saw the sparks in time, Abby,” James had said, his voice hoarse from the smoke.

She nodded. “I got up to let Frank in and glanced out the window.”

He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it standing on end. “We didn’t lose any of the animals. That’s the most important thing.” He stared at the fireplace, as if lost in thought.

Abby felt her stomach clench. Was he thinking the same thing she was? How could she have blurted that out, there by the pump? It wasn’t as if anything had changed, really….

“Did you mean what you said out there, Abby?”

She felt the blood rise to her face, but she couldn’t ignore the look in his eyes as he turned to gaze at her. “I …” She saw the uncertainty flicker across his dear face. “Yes.”

He slid down to his knees in front of her, laying his head in her lap. “You don’t know how I’ve longed to hear you say those words.”

She tangled her fingers in his blond hair. “I’ve wanted to say them for a long time,” she confessed. “I do love you, James.”

He raised his head. “What changed, my dear one?” he whispered.

How could she explain it? She shrugged. “I guess I … finally figured out that God is on my side. He is not hovering over me, just looking for ways to hurt me.”

James nodded. “He is Love.”

“Yes.” She put a hand to his reddened cheek. “And so, last night, I felt that God wanted me to make another vow. A vow I am more committed than ever to keeping.”

He looked stunned. “What do you mean, Abby?” His voice was strained and his eyes pleaded with her. “What are you saying? I thought you …”

“No, wait.” She grasped his hands. “Let me tell you what I promised God. I vowed to love the Lord my God with all my strength, my soul, my mind, and my spirit. I intend to keep my vow and to never love another like I should love Him alone.”

James gripped her shoulders. “Is there room in there somewhere for me?”

She moved into his embrace, her heart overflowing. “Always,” she whispered. “I promise.”

Epilogue

I
t’s a boy!” James’s joyful shout was music to Abby’s ears. Could it be possible that almost a year had gone by since the night of the barn fire? That night was forever imprinted on Abby’s memory. It was a night of endings as well as sweet beginnings. The ending of fear and bondage. The beginning of life and love.

“I told you I wanted a nephew. Now, here he is,” Iris sang out joyfully from beside the bed. “God has blessed you again, Abby.”

Abby looked up to find her husband’s tender gaze fixed on her face.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “You’ve given us another beautiful child.”

Her eyes filled with tears. How had God taken a bitter vow and turned it into an unending promise of joy? She held out her arms for her new little son then clasped James’s hand. She kissed Anna’s little forehead as she snuggled up close. “Mama and Papa will love you both forever,” she vowed softly. And she smiled, knowing this was a vow that would remain forever unbroken.

Amy Rognlie has drawn on her home in Colorado for scenes in her story that assure readers God is love and He is ever willing to forgive. Amy is a middle school language arts teacher. She and her family recently relocated to Central Texas, where she loves teaching, reading and writing (of course), gardening, and hanging out with her family and three dogs. “God’s word is precious to me,” Amy says. “In all of my stories, I strive to remind readers that God is faithful to His word, and can be trusted in every situation.” Amy has had two historical romance novels published by Heartsong Presents.

FINISHING TOUCHES

by Kelly Eileen Hake