Bartered Bride Romance Collection (75 page)

James smiled at her through his tears. “I told you He would,” he whispered.

“Well, Mrs. Parrish, I hardly think you needed me,” Ada boomed. “You done almost had this babe without me.”

Abby squeezed her eyes shut as the searing pain swept through again. “How much … longer?” she panted.

“Two or three more good pushes, honey. I can see ‘is head already.”

James gripped her hands tightly, his eyes never leaving her face. “You can do it, sweetheart,” he whispered.

“The Lord … is … my strength … aaagh!” She gave one final push, and it was over.

Seconds later, she felt the hot, wet body of her daughter lying on her abdomen.

“Hello, little one,” she said softly, reaching down to touch her with her fingertips. Her eyes filled with tears when she heard the baby’s first quavering wail. “Is she all right, James? Is she truly all right?”

He watched while Ada severed the cord. Then he tenderly wrapped the baby in the soft blanket that awaited. He laid the baby in Abby’s waiting arms. “See for yourself, love,” he whispered.

And she did see. A beautiful, perfect baby girl. “Thank You, God,” she breathed. “Thank You, thank You, thank You!”

She tore her eyes from the child to find James. He had moved across the room and was staring into the fire, his back to her. She frowned. Whatever was he doing way over there? She kissed the baby’s soft forehead, and then she knew.

“James, come here please,” she called softly. She watched him hesitate then turn to face her.

She studied his dear face as he came near. Oh, how she loved this man. He had married her, taken her in, provided for her, loved her—and what had she given in return? Was he so unsure of her feelings? Did he not know that she wanted him to be a father to her baby—their baby? Could she make him understand?

How she longed to tell him that she loved him—but that was not to be. She choked back the lump that arose in her throat.
God, why did I make such a vow?

But if she wasn’t allowed to give him her heart, at least she could give him this gift. She caressed his face with her eyes as he knelt down by the bed. “James, we need to choose a name for our daughter.”

She watched as his eyes, focused on her face, filled with tears. He leaned over to place a tender kiss on her cheek then bent to kiss the baby’s face as well.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Abby murmured.

James nodded, finally finding his voice. “Just like her mama,” he whispered.

“Well, it don’t look like you folks’ll be needin’ me anymore.” Ada’s loud voice made Abby jump. “I’ll come check up on y’all tomorrow.”

James jumped up to show the midwife out, and Abby turned her attention back to the baby. “Happy birthday, little one,” she whispered. She smiled up at James as he neared her side again. “She wants her papa to hold her.”

Chapter 7

O
h, Abby. What a beautiful baby!” Iris held the baby close, her face radiant. “God has truly blessed you!” Abby smiled. “It’s hard to believe she’s two weeks old already.”

“And I love her name! Anna Joy.” Iris kissed the baby’s cheek gently. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier. I just wanted to make sure …”

“Oh, I’m glad you waited,” Abby assured her. She would never admit to Iris that every day she had feared a visit from her sister-in-law. Of course, she loved Iris dearly. But since James had informed her of a smallpox outbreak in town, Abby had feared that little Anna would come down with the dreaded disease.

Even now she cringed inwardly as Iris bent her face near the baby’s. What if she was carrying the disease? After all, people were in and out of her boardinghouse every day. She heaved an inward sigh of relief as Iris handed little Anna back to her. The baby gazed into her face, her blue eyes wide and innocent. Abby’s arms tightened around her little daughter, her heart overflowing. She was still almost brought to tears each time she considered that this little human being had been entrusted to her care—hers and James’s, that is. She glanced over to where he sat at the table, nursing a cup of tea. “Did you tell Iris that I have a new recipe for her to serve at the boardinghouse?” James grinned at his sister. “Have any guests you’d like to see leave early, sis?”

“What are you talking about, James?” Iris demanded. “Abby is a wonderful cook!”

“Oh, I agree, Iris.” He darted an amused glance at Abby. “She’s very frugal, too. After she made a rhubarb pie, she cooked up the leaves for greens.”

“Oh, no!” Iris gasped. “You didn’t!” Abby laughed. “I’m afraid so. I’m a city girl, remember?”

“Things are never dull around here anymore, that’s for sure.” James sauntered over to Abby, putting an arm around her shoulders. “God knew what he was doing when He sent me this lady.”

Iris chuckled. “I can see that. So—do I get a nephew next time?”

Abby gulped, heat rising to the surface of her cheeks. Iris couldn’t possibly know their situation. Undoubtedly James would be too embarrassed to tell his sister. “Well, I—”

“All in good time, sis. We don’t want to rush things when we’ve only just started to get to know little Anna.”

“Well, just don’t wait too long.” Iris jumped to her feet and smoothed down her skirt in one fluid motion. “Now, I’d best be gettin’ back to town. A family’s coming in from the Springs tonight.” With a quick hug for Abby and a peck on the cheek for James, she was gone.

Abby sank down into the chair with a sigh. “Sometimes just watching Iris makes me tired.”

James laughed aloud. “I know what you mean. She’s always been a fireball.” He crossed over to the cradle and leaned over to hear Anna’s soft breathing. “Think we’ll ever take her up on her suggestion?”

Abby wrinkled her forehead.
What was he talking …? Oh! How could he so casually mention that subject when he knows that I’m bound by my vow to God?
“I don’t—”

He lifted his head to look at her then, and the look in his eyes took her breath away. “I want us to be a real family, Abby,” he whispered.

“We are a real—”

“No, we aren’t.” He crossed over to her then, standing close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from his skin. “I want you for my wife—in every sense of the word.”

She shivered as he ran his hands down her bare arms. Didn’t he know how badly she wanted that, too? She closed her eyes against the pleading in his. “Don’t you understand, James? I can’t!”

He pulled her into his arms almost roughly. “Abby, you’re my wife. I asked God for a wife and He sent you.”

She pushed her face into the strength of his chest. Confusion flowed through her. If God had truly sent her to James, then He expected her to be the best wife she could be. Certainly God expected one’s best. But then … She knew God also required obedience. And if she had made a vow to Him, she must not break it. Something terrible would surely happen to James or the baby.

The hopelessness of the dilemma swept over her. She was trapped. Trapped with a loving, desirable man who was her husband—and yet he wasn’t. “I don’t know what to do,” she admitted finally.

His arms tightened around her, and he held her close for a long minute. Then he pulled away enough to look in her eyes. “I promised you that I would always love you and care for you, Abby.”

She met his gaze miserably. “I know. And I’m thankful.”

His grip tightened slightly. “But that’s not enough for me.”

She felt a burning shame well up. Was she taking advantage of him? Or was he saying that he now regretted marrying her since she couldn’t—or wouldn’t—meet his needs?

James watched the emotions play across her face and wondered at her thoughts. He was pretty sure by now that she felt at least a bit of love for him. Why couldn’t she take that final step and admit it? Oh, he knew full well of her vow. But he had assumed that, by now, she would have realized her flawed logic. He had thought that, perhaps after the baby was born … He heaved a great sigh and dropped his hands from her shoulders. “Guess I’ll tend to the chores.”

The evenings were turning chilly now, he thought vaguely as he trudged toward the barn. He glanced back at the house, watching through the lighted window as Abby knelt to pick up little Anna. A lump rose in his throat, and he turned his eyes back to the well-worn path. “God, surely You don’t require her to honor a vow that she made in ignorance,” he cried aloud.

Only the lonely cooing of the doves answered him in the still night air.

After several days of strained conversation between them, James longed to return to their easy camaraderie. Perhaps he had been too impatient. Maybe he had just pushed her too hard when she wasn’t ready. They could use a good laugh together, he decided. He pushed open the back door, surprised to find the house dark and cold. Why hadn’t she lit the lamps?

“Boy, I’m hungry for some greens tonight,” he joked as he removed his hat.

Abby barely spared him a glance, her face anguished as she rocked Anna in the dim light.

James felt his heart contract. “What’s wrong, Abby?” he whispered, coming to stand in front of her.

“I knew it. I just knew this would happen,” she moaned.

He wasn’t sure she was even aware of his presence. He stopped the monotonous motion of the rocker with his foot. “Abby!” he said, concern ringing in his voice. “What is it?”

She lifted her eyes to his, and his heart went cold.
Father God, please help me
, he prayed silently. He knelt down in front of her. “Abby. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She shook her head. “I knew it would happen. He doesn’t love me, James. You said He did, but He doesn’t.”

“Abby.” James took a deep breath. “Please stop talking nonsense. And tell me what has upset you.”

Her body hunched over the baby. Her shoulders heaved with wrenching sobs. “Oh, James. She’s sick, James. Our little Anna is sick. I just know she’s going to die!”

He wrapped his arms around her.
God, help us
, he pleaded silently.

Tenderly, James lifted the infant from Abby’s lap and into his arms. “Oh, dear God.” The unchecked prayer slipped from his lips when he saw the blister-like spots that covered the soft, pale skin. “Dear God.”

Hugging the baby to his chest, he let the tears fall. Yet, even as he held the child in his arms, his heart was filled with a sense of peace. He pressed a kiss onto the small forehead and drew a deep breath. “I can’t put my feelings into words, Abby. But I feel confident that our baby won’t die.”

Abby shrugged her shoulders. “God allowed her to get sick. Why wouldn’t He let her die?”

“I can’t promise you that He won’t, Abby, but I trust Him to do what is best for Anna and for us. He clutched the baby’s feverish body closer to him. “We must trust Him with Anna. He loves her even more than you do.”

“Don’t you see? Tragedy just seems to follow me—”

“No,” he said gently. “I don’t see. Trials and tests and tribulations come to us all, Abby. Not just to you. He laid a comforting hand on her cheek. “God will give us the strength to face even this.”

He handed the baby back to Abby then strode over toward the fireplace. He stirred up the fire and threw another log on. After lighting the lamps, he shrugged into his coat and jammed his hat on his head. “I’m going to fetch Ada. She’s as good as any doctor in these parts. Besides, she’s a woman of deep faith, and she can help us pray.” James paused at the door, his hand gripping the knob. He turned to watch his wife. She sat in silence, blinking at the light. “I’ll hurry back as quickly as I can, but don’t just sit there and cry while I’m gone. Pray.”

The door slammed behind him. Abby leaned her head back in the rocker and closed her eyes.
Pray? My prayers won’t help. I’ve prayed and prayed in the past. Has God ever answered my prayers?

Anna whimpered, and Abby automatically held her closer, adjusting her blankets. It had been hours since the babe had nursed. Abby’s breasts felt achingly full, yet the baby refused to eat. “Come on, little one,” she coaxed. “You need to eat.” The child sucked weakly for a moment then turned her head away. Her little mouth clamped closed.

Abby sighed, and her tears threatened to overflow. The child wouldn’t have enough strength to get well if she didn’t eat soon. Abby slowly buttoned her bodice, suddenly recalling James’s words of a few months ago. “Part of the responsibility is ours, love,” he had said. “Just as you can’t feed a baby who refuses to open its mouth, you limit God by refusing to accept His ways and His comfort.”