Ballad (Rockstar #5) (5 page)

“You think not going for it is going to make it better? Because if she and Lucian are kissing, you can bet that shit’s going to keep progressing. How’re you gonna feel when you find out they fuck? Because, man, we’re talking Lucian here. You know they’re gonna be fucking before long,” he tells me and I want to knock his teeth down his throat for even muttering those words. The fuck?

I growl again. “Double-edged sword here, man.”

Shit.

Kennedy nods, understanding. “I feel you, man. You’re safe for now. There’s no way a girl like Coley will just jump in bed with Lucian, but who knows how long that’s going to last, man. Spending all that time together will speed things up, you know?”

“Yeah.” I know and I want to put a fist in someone’s face. It’s not Lucian’s fault. He didn’t know—but then again, when he found out—because he has to know, that fucking smirk gave him away—he didn’t back off. If anything, it only encouraged him. That smug fucking grin.

We listen as Burners close out their set.

“What happened to your interest in Misty?” Kennedy asks.

I shrug a shoulder. “I don’t know. There’s just something… She came on pretty strong that one night and I almost fucked her right against the side of the bus, but it just felt wrong.”

“Coley already under your skin?”

“Maybe.” At first, Misty seemed too innocent and sweet, which is what drew me to her, but then like a flip of a coin she became really flirty and pretty aggressive. I’m not into that shit. Since then I’ve seen her flirting up Ethan. I wonder if he’s given her the banging she obviously needs.

“Let’s go man.” Kennedy motions me forward. “Let’s see the Blush Baby’s debut.”

“Christ.”

Kennedy chuckles.

“Fuck off.”

His chuckle turns into a laugh and I give him a shove.

“Knock it the fuck off, dick,” I tease.

“I can’t help it. You’re acting ridiculous and it’s funny as fuck,” Kennedy responds.

“One day this shit is going to happen to you and then
I’ll
be the one laughing,” I tell him.

“True enough, but right now it’s
me
who gets to do the laughing.”

Fucker.

“Benny!” Lucy calls out as I make my way down the hall with Kennedy.

“Luce,” I scold, shaking my head.

“You know you love it when she calls you that. Stop trying to deny it,” Ethan says, walking up behind us.

I give him a look that has him grinning. Fuckers all over tonight.

“How’re you feeling, Luce?” I ask.

“I’m good. I had a good nap today,” she tells me.

“Yeah, we know. We ‘heard’ your nap earlier,” I respond dryly.

She blushes. “I love naps.”

Jesse steps up behind her, his hands resting on her belly, his nose burying in her neck. “I love naps too,” he comments and I roll my eyes. I love that they’re so happy but they fuck like rabbits. I wonder if that’s ever going to stop. It’ll slow down for sure with triplets—Christ, triplets. How will they get
any
time to fuck, let alone sleep?

“What’s up, bro?” Jesse asks.

“Nada. Just want to see the new show.”

He nods. “From what I’ve seen when I snuck a couple peeks, it’s going to kick ass. Coley’s perfect.”

“Yeah, she is,” I mutter, not thinking.

Jesse lifts a brow and I shake my head. He knows. Hell, all of them know now if they didn’t before. I haven’t exactly made a secret out of it, watching her like some creeper. That’s what I feel like sometimes because even the littlest things make me want her. And when I say want, I mean
want
with an intensity that steals my breath.

The door to the dressing room opens and my heart stops. I feel like the coyote in those cartoons with the tongue hanging out and hearts bulging out of his eyes. I can’t stop looking at her, leering even, as she stands there in some barely-there outfit that reminds me of Lucy’s before-pregnancy outfits.

“Fuck,” I mutter and Coley looks at me, confusion morphs into sorrow. “No,” I tell her, taking her hand. “No. You’re beautiful.” I can’t let her think anything other than the truth. I don’t need her to think she’s not breathtaking, because she is that and so much more. Her eyes meet mine and I see the want I feel reflected in her eyes. No.

Reluctantly I let her hand go.

“Thank you,” she tells me with a smile and I nod before turning away. I walk over and grab a Gatorade. I need to stop this. She can’t be mine. I let anger fill me. This is what I need. If I stay angry, I won’t feel all the things for her I shouldn’t.

“We’re on,” Sera announces. Sera. I thought for a while there she might be the one, but it didn’t take long to figure out we weren’t anything more than friends. We shared a couple kisses and they were fucking amazing, but I didn’t feel her deep down like I do Coley and she didn’t feel me that way either. For her it was Cage. It was easy to see every time they were in the same room together.

Blush has come so far in such a short time. It’s like overnight stardom and we had nothing to do with that. It had everything to do with their talent.

Oh fuck, they have Coley dancing on a platform in her skin-tight pink outfit and fuck me heels. I reach down and adjust my erection. Just a couple strokes of my cock and I’d come. Just from watching her. I’m so pathetic.

The way her hips swivel and sway, her tits bouncing as she dances. I groan inwardly. I need to fuck and I need to fuck hard. I’ll pick someone tonight to get off. I don’t give a fuck who she is but I’m going to make damn sure she’s got red hair because I know even though I’ll be fucking a stranger, it’ll be Coley’s face I’m seeing.

When they come off the stage, the crowd is going wild. Everyone’s hyped up and sweaty.

“Thirsty,” Meggie announces, giving a quick wave and heading to the refreshment bar. Trace follows closely behind.

“I could use a drink,” Jace says.

“A big bottle of Powerade,” Meggie says, her voice becoming more faint with each step she takes away from us.

“That was one hell of a show,” I tell them.

“Fuck yeah, it was,” Xan agrees. “I’m still hard.”

Lucy rolls her eyes and Sera pinches his ass.

“Watch yourself, Fee,” warns a deep voice from behind us. Sera spins around, the biggest grin on her face I’ve ever seen. Then she shoves me to the side and jumps up onto Cage.

“Batman! Where’ve you been?” she asks, her lips against his, and he chuckles.

“Fee,” he breathes and kisses her softly. Damn.

I look away and watch as Blush’s instruments are taken off the stage and replaced by ours. I miss the duets Jesse and Lucy had going on so it was a smoother transition between our sets, but since Burners joined us we’ve cut that out. Jesse vetoed Lucy singing with Lucian, and so a change was made. I don’t care, really. I just want to play. Fuck yeah. This, music, it’s everything. The feeling of being able to get people to feel what we feel when we make and play the music—nothing beats that. Nothing.

It seems like we wait forever to take the stage, but with the setup Blush and we have, it’s a lot to take down and put up. We’ve got some kick ass roadies and I fucking love it. Just a few more minutes.

Lucian comes walking up.

“Good set man,” I tell him, shaking his hand, pushing down everything but my appreciation for his music.

“Thanks. Our sound guy doesn’t have things set up the way I want them to be,” he says, his frustration clear.

Coley strolls up, wiping her brow with a towel.

“Hey, BB,” Lucian greets and I grit my teeth.

“Hey,” she says back, giving him a grin. “Your soundboard dude is slacking.”

Lucian raises a brow and so do I.

“Bold statement, little girl,” Justin, Burners’ lead guitarist begins.

Coley shrugs. “Maybe, but it’s true.”

Lucian grins and puts his arm around her waist. “She’s right. I was just about to talk to Ben about it.”

Justin takes a swig of his beer, staring Coley down. “You think you can do better?”

“Justin—” Lucian begins but he’s cut off by a sideways glance. He’s testing her. Interesting.

“I don’t
think
I can, I
know
I can,” she tells him, crossing her arms, pushing her tits up. Shit. I’m getting hard again.

“Yeah?” Justin challenges. “Let’s see about that tomorrow when we get to Des Moines.”

“What?” she asks.

“You
know
you can do better, let’s
see
you do better. When we have rehearsal tomorrow, you set up the board how you think it should be and we’ll see if you’re full of shit or not.” He grins.

She grins back. “Challenge accepted. I’m Coley.”

He nods and takes the hand she’s offered. “Justin.”

He holds her hand just a little too long and stares intently.

“Nice to meet you,” she responds.

“Ditto. You want to get a drink?” he asks and Lucian bristles more than I do.

Lucian pulls her tight against his side. “I don’t think so, Tin.”

Justin shakes his head. “How the fuck do you always get there before me?”

“She’s different,” Lucian announces and both Justin’s and my eyebrows go up. He nods and I clench my fists. Fuck.

“We’re on, dude,” Xander tells me as he walks up. “Coley, you’re seriously hot out there. I was so fucking hard my dick could have pounded nails.” He gives her his playful grin and she rolls her eyes.

“Sounds like a personal problem.”

“It was, oh, it was. Nothing rubbing one out didn’t solve,” he announces and we all laugh—all except Coley who gives him a disgusted look. What is it with her not liking Xander? Everyone loves this guy. There’s no time to ask now. Jesse, Kennedy, and Ethan walk up.

“Ready?” Jesse asks.

“Yep.”

“Let’s rock their asses off!” he shouts, making his way onto the stage.

I pick up my guitar, lift the strap over my shoulder, and finger the pick. I play the first chords of one of our new songs,
Forbidden Destiny
, and I can’t help but think about how fitting that is with regard to Coley.

The sides of the stage are packed, Coley near the front with Lucian. When Jesse starts to sing, everything else fades out but the music.

I knew it when I saw you (saw you)

You were trouble

I knew it when I saw you (saw you)

You and I could never be

I knew it when I saw you (saw you)

You’re my Forbidden Destiny

There are so many reasons why we can’t be (together)

There are so many thoughts of what can’t be (forever)

Time will roll on and my heart will weep (for you)

Dreams will change and novelties fade (except you)

My Forbidden Destiny

You blew into my life (my life)

Like a hurricane

You got under my skin (my skin)

Pure sin

Like no other you tempted me (tempted me)

My Forbidden Destiny.

There are so many reasons why we can’t be (together)

There are so many thoughts of what can’t be (forever)

Time will roll on and my heart will weep (for you)

Dreams will change and novelties fade (except you)

My Forbidden Destiny

Should I break the rules or accept you as…

My Forbidden Destiny.

I sigh as I strike the last chord. Coley broke through my zone. I look over and meet her gaze and the saucy minx sends me a wink. The next song up is
Tempt Me
.

Nicole Harper is going to be the death of me.

I’m a sweaty mess and in desperate need of a shower, but this redhead has been rubbing up on my dick for the last 20 minutes and I’m ready to fuck. I lead her from what Xander deemed the “party room” to another a few doors down. She immediately drops to her knees and wastes no time undoing my pants, pulling out my already hard cock, and sucking it into her mouth. Hell yeah.

My head drops back, my eyes close, and I wind her hair around my fist. This chick sucks at giving head. No shit, jacking off would feel better. I thrust my hips and hit the back of her throat.

“Suck me harder,” I command and she does. I sigh. Still not good. Fuck it.

“Get up,” I tell her and I bend her over the table in front of us. I hike up her skirt. Nice tight ass. I like that. I bend down and grab a condom from my pocket and slip it on. I push her thong aside, test her pussy with a finger, and fuck me, she’s wet.