Ballad (Rockstar #5) (4 page)

“L
OOKS LIKE LUCIAN
likes your girl, Lucy.”

Lucy puts her hands on her hips. She nudges Sera with her elbow. “Can you blame her? Look at him. God, those eyes,” she mutters, getting closer to us.

Lucian grins.

“Oh,” Sera mutters, her hand going up to her chest. “You’re so pretty,” she tells Lucian and he lets out a loud laugh.

“This, from the model,” Lucian replies. “Hey, Xan,” he greets and they fist bump.

“Making a move on Coley?” Xander asks.

“Nah. The days for making moves are long past. I’m just going with what feels right,” Lucian replies, looking at me with that pretty smile.

“How’s that any different?” Lucy asks.

He turns to look at her. “I used to go with what felt good.”

“Holy Hannah,” I whisper. Lucy’s mouth forms a perfect O.

“I hate to be the one to break it to you, but Ben’s had his sights on her,” Xander tells him.

I scoff. “Have you
ever
seen me and Ben together—alone—let alone him touch me? I’ve got cancer not the plague. His interest is superficial and I don’t have time for that.”

“You don’t have time—?” Sera asks. “Oh. But you’re okay now, right?”

I nod. “For now.”

“No more kissing, Lucian. Her lipstick will not be smudged again and that shade of burgundy doesn’t work with your skin tone,” Spenser scolds.

I snicker. “I don’t know. It looks kinda cute.”

“Yeah, my makeup-wearing days are over too,” Lucian jokes.

“I bet you were hot,” Sera blurts out as she chews on her index fingernail.

“Again, says the model.”

I snicker.

“Okay, all done except for the clothes,” Spenser announces.

Lucian leans in close. “Are you naked under there, BB?”

My face heats and he chuckles.

“Damn,” he mutters and doesn’t bother to even
try
to conceal the fact he’s adjusting his erection. That’s so hot and from what I’m seeing, he’s got more than enough to satisfy.

I grab a piece of paper and fold it in half, then fan myself. “Is it hot in here?”

Lucian gives me a knowing grin and I ignore him. I don’t know what to do with him. It’s easy dealing with Ben and his looks—because they’re only looks. But Lucian? He looks at me like I’m Little Red Riding Hood and he’s the Big Bad Wolf and he’d like nothing more than to eat me up. Holy Hannah.

Spenser takes a step to the side and I see my reflection in the mirror and gasp. No longer resembling the sickly girl, I take in the way the makeup enhances my eye color making them pop, the way the eye shadow gives them a sultry look. I can’t stop my eyes from filling, seeing myself as beautiful, something I never thought I’d get to see—or be.

“Don’t you dare cry, Nicole,” Spenser scolds. “We don’t have time to redo your makeup. It won’t be long before Burners is on stage and you’ll be on immediately after.” He points at her to emphasize his point.

I sniffle. “You made me beautiful,” I whisper to him.

“Oh, no, honey. You’ve always been beautiful—with or without the makeup,” Spenser tells me.

“Well, crap,” Lucy mutters, tears welling in her eyes.

“Now you did it,” Xander scolds Spenser.

“I did nothing. It’s hormones and
that
is all Jesse Kingston’s fault,” Spenser corrects, pointing at Lucy’s baby belly.

“That’s the truth,” Sera agrees. “He’s potent, that bro-in-law of mine.”

Lucy snickers then winces when the babies shift.

“Are you okay?” I ask, getting up to stand in front of her.

“I’m fine. The babies are getting restless,” Lucy tells us with a smile.

“It’s no wonder. There’s not nearly enough room in your tiny belly for three of Jesse Kingston’s babies. If they’re anything like that man, those babies are going to be huge,” Spenser announces.

“Gee, thanks, Spense. You’re not freaking me out or anything,” Lucy chides.

He scoffs. “It’s not like you’re going to push them out your vag. There’s no way any doctor in his right mind would let you deliver the Kingston Litter naturally. They’re definitely going to do a C-section.”

“Lord, I hope so,” Lucy agrees.

“God damn it, Spenser, I told you about this ‘litter’ business,” Jesse scolds from the door. He walks over to Lucy, leans in to kiss her and at the same time his hand goes to caress her swollen belly. I hope one day I’ll find a love like that. No, I hope I live long enough to find a love like that.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Spenser tells Jesse.

“No kidding,” Jesse replies. “Lucian. How’s it going, man?”

“Not bad. I’d stick around and catch up on shit, but I’m on in two minutes,” Lucian tells him.

“No worries. It’s not like there won’t be plenty of time for that,” Jesse says.

“Hell yeah. You and Burners are going to help heat up the BFD tour,” Xander says with a nod. “This is pretty damn cool.”

Jesse gives Lucian a look and Lucian shakes his head. “We’re clean man and straight.” He walks over to me and kisses my forehead. “See you later, BB.” Every time he says that, it sounds like ‘baby’ and I love it. No one’s called me by an endearment except my mother and that doesn’t count.

I watch him walk to the door where he turns back, giving me a huge smile and a wink before closing the door behind him.

“Looks like the tour is going to be a whole lot more interesting than I originally thought,” Jesse says.

“You have no idea,” Spenser tells him, and I think back to Ben’s reaction to Lucian kissing me. The man is seriously messed up and has no right to act like a jealous lover when he’s anything but that—to me. The groupies? Yeah, he’s definitely their lover and he doesn’t care which one he picks so long as they get him off.

“Nope, things are going to be just fine,” I announce and everyone gives me a look of disbelief. “Seriously, Ben Kingston can just mind his own damn business. He has no claim on me and I kind of like that Lucian does,” I admit.

Jesse smirks. “As I said, interesting. It’s going to be fun watching my brother twist and flail about like a fish out of water.”

Xander chuckles.

“What are you talking about?” I ask. “He hasn’t made a move on me, only given me looks. That, to me, is nothing more than a stranger would do on the street.”

“She’s got a point,” Sera agrees.

“Ben won’t see it that way,” Jesse tells us.

“He already doesn’t. You should have seen when he—” I cut Spenser off with an elbow to his side.

“Never mind what he did or didn’t do. It doesn’t matter to me one little bit. Now, where’s my outfit for tonight?” I ask.

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” Xander says, quoting Shakespeare.

“Whatever, dude. Think what you want.”

“I always do,” he tells me with a grin that I want to slap off his face. What is it about Xander Mackenzie that evokes snark and violence?

I don’t give him a second glance as I make my way over to where Simone and Carmen are waiting for me. It’s funny. I’m not nervous to go out there on the stage and shake my ass for a bunch of strangers, but the thought of Lucian watching has my stomach flip-flopping again. And the thought of Ben watching me has me clenching my fists because I know, I just know, instead of complimenting me on my performance, he’ll pick out the flaws and make a big production out of them. He’s such an asshole to me. So, why am I so attracted to him? Everyone knows there’s no changing a bad boy to a good boy.

As the girls help me get ready, I listen to Lucian and Burners rocking their asses off out there. Lucian with the black hair and icy eyes. Lucian with the inviting smile. Lucian with lips that set me on fire. I imagine his hands on my body, touching me, kissing me all over, and I take in a steadying breath. I want that. I want him to touch me. I want to know what it feels like to have a man touch me and, hopefully, pleasure me. I want to touch him too. I wonder if he’ll let me.

I look in the mirror, taking in the blush-colored skin-tight half top and what look to be high-waisted spanks and realize I look freaking hot. Carmen hands me a pair of large, black hoop earrings and as I’m putting them in, Simone is putting on a black and silver necklace.

“And shoes,” Carmen announces, handing me four-inch black platform sandals.

“Holy Hannah, I’m going to break my neck,” I announce to no one.

“You’ll be fine,” Carmen assures me.

“I guess dying from a broken neck is less painful than dying from cancer, right?” I joke—obviously poorly from the horrified looks on everyone’s faces. “Lighten up. If the cancer girl can’t joke about cancer, who can?”

“True that. You joke all you want, Coley,” Xander tells me.

“Thanks for your permission,” I snark and Xander looks down, shaking his head. I don’t mean to say things like that to him, they just fly out of my mouth. He makes me defensive and I don’t know why. He hasn’t done a darn thing to me, but from the moment I met him, I reacted to him like that. I’ll figure it out. I’ve got time and if I’m wrong, I’ll apologize. I have a feeling ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to be enough.

G
OD DAMN IT
! Lucian fucking Cordero. Is Coley kidding me right now? Christ. I make my way down the hallway and head out the back door. I need some air after seeing that shit. She pressed a kiss to his thumb. I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands. It felt like a knife to the heart when she did that shit.

The looks she gives me tell me she’s interested, and her pissy demeanor tells me she knows I’m interested, but I’m not going to make a move on her anytime soon.

But she changed the rules today—Lucian changed them.

“Fuck,” I mutter and ask the roadie walking by for a cigarette. I haven’t smoked in a good four years, but I’m losing my shit. This girl is driving me crazy. Just as I’m about to light it, Kennedy steps in front of me.

“Don’t do it, man. Remember what a bitch it was to quit?”

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, I remember, but god damn it.”

“What’s got you worked up?” Kennedy asks.

I give him a bland look.

He chuckles. “I guess I should have asked ‘who’, and I already know the answer. What’d she do?”

I growl. “Lucian fucking kissed her.”

“Dude, no way.”

“Serious. And she told me it was none of my business.”

“And?” he prods.

“Then she kissed his fucking thumb right in front of me. What the fuck, man?” I ask.

Kennedy, silent but smart as fuck, watches me closely. “You haven’t made a move on her, man.”

“I swore I wouldn’t.”

“Swore to who?”

“Myself,” I tell him.

“Why the fuck would you do that? She’s eighteen and obviously interested in you.”

I scoff. “Not as interested as she is in Lucian.”

“Dude,” Kennedy chides.

“Yeah, yeah. She’s young, man. She has a lot of living to do before she settles down and I know if I get my hands on her I’m going to want forever.”

“Ben, Coley has done more living than most people do in two lifetimes. I can just tell she’s had it rough—not just by being sick. She’s got a lot of secrets and someone who carries that much baggage has already lived more than she should have to at that age.”

“Maybe, but what if she wants to just fuck around and play the field, then what, man? If I go in, I’m all in and if she’s not, I won’t be able to accept that. We’ve got a couple months left on this tour with her. I’d go fucking nuts. I’m already going fucking nuts knowing she’s kissed Lucian.” I’m seething, pacing in front of Kennedy who watches me with knowing eyes.