Ballad (Rockstar #5) (25 page)

She grins.

“There’s that sunshine.”

She snorts. “You’re so weird.”

I’d explain it to her, what her smiles and sunshine do to me—for me—but I wouldn’t be able to find the words. It’s more of a feeling, a light-in-the-darkness kind of thing.

“Maybe, but you love me,” I tease and spoon another ice chip in her mouth.

She nods. “I totally do.”

“When are you going to marry me?” I ask, just as I’ve asked every hour of every day since she agreed to be my wife.

Her grin widens. “You’re persistent, I’ll give you that.”

“That’s not an answer, honey.”

She looks at me, just looks at me. I’m not sure if she’s searching for something or just thinking as she focuses on me, but I like it. I like it a lot—the way she looks at me, the way she looks
to
me.

“Don’t you want your brother and everyone here when we get married?” she asks.

I shrug. “The only one I care about being there is you.”

She sighs. “You’re so sweet now that you stopped being a stubborn jackass.”

“High praise,” I say with a laugh.

“You know what I mean, right?”

I nod. “I do. Now, when are you going to say those two words back to me?”

“I don’t want Lucy upset because she wasn’t here.”

“They won’t be back for over two weeks, honey.”

“I know,” she answers, biting her lip.

“I know what we can do,” I tell her. “We can Skype or whatever that program is with them while we get hitched.”

She laughs. “Really?”

“Sure, why not? Someone can use a camera hooked to the computer… Hell, I don’t know. I’ll talk to Kennedy. He’ll have someone all over it. Then they’ll all be there, honey. What do you think?” I ask.

“Let’s do it,” she replies, her smile wide in spite of her fatigue and nausea. Christ, what did I do to deserve someone so genuine?

I hug her close. “I love you so much. You know that, right?”

She nods. “I love you more.”

I chuckle. “No way.”

“Way,” she responds, her eyes narrowing as she points at me. “You won’t win.”

“What if we call it a tie?” I scoop another ice chip into her mouth and she sighs.

“That’d be perfect,” she mutters as she drifts back to sleep.

I’m on the phone with everyone I know trying to make the arrangements for three days from now, knowing the band has two days off. It’ll be the perfect time.

“No, you do nothing,” Lucy tells me.

“What? But—”

“
Nothing.
I’m calling my mama. She’ll handle it all.”

“Oh man. Mama Russo on the wedding rampage again. Be sure to tell her Coley’s pretty sick and we’re in a hospital,” I remind Lucy.

“I’m pregnant not stupid, brother of mine.”

I laugh.

“So, how is she really?” Lucy asks.

I run a hand over the back of my neck. “She’s fighting.”

“That’s good, but how
is
she, Ben? Tell me.”

“She’s so sick, Luce. Christ, how she’s sick. She’s got nothing to puke up and she manages to puke up something. I’m starting to wonder if it’s pieces of her organs for as hard as her spasms are. They’ve got her on an IV and some sort of protein drink since solid food makes her vomit the second it hits her stomach. And the worst of it? Yesterday she started getting sores in her mouth. They hurt her so damn bad.” I just throw it all out there, finally having someone to talk to about my concerns.

“Oh my God. Do they give her anything for that?”

“They gave her this sort of mouthwash stuff she has to swish and spit with. It numbs the inside of her mouth. Ice chips help. Ice cream. Popsicles. Jell-O. Those are really the only things she can hold down.”

“At least she can hold something down, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s a plus,” I say, having not thought of it like that. “Sprite and ginger ale are what she likes most. She told me yesterday she wishes she’d asked Jesse for some of his peppermint LifeSavers. I went down to the hospital shop and they don’t have any, and when I leave to go change, I don’t want to take too much time, you know?”

“I’m on it, Ben. I’ll hook up our girl.”

“Good, thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now tell me how are
you
?” she asks.

“I’m good, just worried and frustrated.” I pause for a minute. “I’m scared for her, Luce. So fucking scared. She’s fighting like the champ she is, but what if they can’t find her a match when she’s ready?”

“They’ll find a match, Ben. Stay positive. It just takes time to compare her marrow to the donors. It has to be perfect,” she tells me quietly.

“I know. That’s what’s so scary. What if there’s no perfect match?”

“I don’t know if you’ve brought this up to her or not, but what about her aunt? Is she still alive? She might be a match, or one of her kids.”

Leave it to Lucy to read my mind.

“I’ve thought of it but the minute I bring it up, she shuts me down. She doesn’t want her family at risk from her dad and she doesn’t want him to find her either,” I confess.

“Hmm. Let me put in a call to my gampy. I bet he’s got ways to keep that asshole of a sperm donor away from Nicole and her family.”

“Yeah? You think he’ll help?” I ask.

She laughs. “Do you forget who you’re talking to? I’m his Luciana who’s carrying his great-grandbabies. He’ll do anything to keep me from worrying and that’s the one thing in the world I want most. I want our Nicole well.”

“Me too, Luce. Me too.”

True to her word, Lucy asked Mama Russo to help with the wedding. The woman didn’t just
help
, she took over, thank Christ. I’m tired, so damn tired, and I think I’m getting an ulcer from this shitty coffee. Every now and again one of the nurses will bring me in some Starbucks and I couldn’t be more grateful.

I mentioned this to Sera last night when I was too tired to be on guard, and today a new coffee maker and cappuccino machine were donated to every department of the hospital.

Those sisters, they’re some damn great people. I hope someday I can pay back their kindness, but for now I’ll accept every gesture with humility because right now, things aren’t about me. They’re about Nicole and getting her through this so she can get well.

“Are you ready to get married?” I ask Nicole, who’s got a sour look on her face.

“In a hospital gown. Are you fucking kidding me?” she asks.

“Swear jar!” we hear Xan shout from the other end of the computer.

“Ugh.”

“Honey. I get your frustration. I do. This isn’t what you imagined for your wedding day, and if you’d rather wait until we can have it just the way you want it, that’s okay with me,” I tell her. I’ll give her anything to bring back her smile that’s dimmed over the last few days.

She sighs. “No, it’s okay. It doesn’t really matter what I’m wearing, right? Just that I’m vowing to love you for the rest of my life.”

I have to swallow—hard. That selflessness, the fact that she loves me so fiercely. I shake my head, overcome with emotion.

“Yeah, honey. That’s all that matters,” I agree, still choked up.

“Besides,” Lucy calls out from the other end of the computer connection, “we’re going to throw you the perfect wedding when you’re well enough and these babies are born.”

“Perfect,” Nicole agrees.

The pastor we spoke with enters the room. “Do you have witnesses?”

Nicole and I look over to the nurses who agreed to be our witnesses, but instead we find Sera and Cage.

“Holy Hannah!” Nicole shouts, holding her arms out to Sera, who’s rushing over.

“You didn’t really think we’d let you get married without one of us here, did you?” Sera asks.

Nicole sniffles. “I—”

“Never gonna happen,” Sera tells her, holding my girl while she cries happy tears.

I mouth a thank you to Sera, who sends me a wink. This right here is what family’s all about. We’ll always do whatever it takes.

“Ready?” Cage asks.

I nod and Coley gives him a watery smile.

“I’d cry too if I was marrying his ugly mug,” Jesse says.

“That’d be incest,” Xander tells him. “That’s fu—fricking sick, dude.”

“Not at all what I meant,” Jesse states.

“Leave it to Xander,” Kenndy says.

“True that,” Ethan agrees.

Sera situates a veil on Nicole’s head and hands her a bouquet. Her gasp is loud and has everyone looking over.

“What is it?” I ask.

“White roses. They were my mom’s favorite.” She looks up at Sera from her wheelchair. “How did you know?”

Sera glances at Cage. “Let’s just say we have some pretty good detectives in the family.”

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God…” Pastor Bingham begins. I gaze into the eyes of the woman I love with everything I am, the woman I’m about to make my wife, and I know without a doubt she’s my forever.

Is this a dream? I’m sitting here, staring into the eyes of Ben Kingston, the man who steals my breath with just a look, the man who stole my heart just as easily, and we’re about to exchange marriage vows. I’m about to be his
wife.

I can’t stop the smile and he smiles back. “Sunshine,” he whispers.

“Do you, Nicole Alexandra Harper, take this man, Jamison Benjamin Kingston, to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do you part?” Pastor Bingham asks.