Balance (The Neumarian Chronicles) (12 page)

Chapter
Sixteen

Ryder sauntered into the mess hall and grabbed a
tray. “Missed you, why didn’t you come to see me this afternoon?”

“
We had the weekly briefing. Something happened at the end. Queen Valderak contacted us.” I ran my finger around the coffee mug. Usually, I enjoyed the rich fragrance from the beans we grew in horticulture, but today, it made me nauseous. “It’s important you join Raeth and us for dinner at eight.”

“
Count on it.” Ryder nudged his shoulder into my arm and winked. “You have time to go back to your room for a while?”

“Why? We’ll be seeing each other later.”

“I have a birthday present for you.”

“But—”

He placed a finger to my lips. “Yes, I know we agreed no celebrations until the war’s over, but tomorrow’s your eighteenth. According to the old rules of society, and the wisdom of your father General Bellator, that means you’re legal.”

My mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe it. Today—after a year of indifference—he announced we were getting married? Not happening. We needed to resolve our problems. Yes, I loved him a
nd craved a lifetime with him, but becoming a widow within weeks or days to a man who hadn’t given me even a nod in weeks wasn’t on today’s to-do-list. “Let’s talk about it after we’ve discussed Mandesa’s message,” I choked out.

“
Mandesa’ll wait.” He scooped some mashed potatoes onto a fork and swallowed them down.

“No, she won’t.” I rubbed my forehead. “Councilman Ridgecroft
’s arriving in the morning to discuss Queen Valderak’s demand and our response.”

H
is smile faded. “What’s wrong?”

The moment the coffee hit my stomach,
I regretted having taken that nervous sip. Setting my cup aside, I stood. “I’ll meet you in my room in a half an hour.”

He snagged my fingers. “
I’ll be there.”

“Good.” Pivoting,
I headed for weaponry. With Mandesa’s demand, Penton’s stall tactics ended. We were out of time.

Heading for weaponry’s new location, I trotted down steps leading into the bowels of the Earth. Over the past year, I’d discovered decisions during war were all about survival, winning, and the greater good. At least I hoped so. That
’s why when we’d rebuilt the Arc, we’d made major changes. What we prized above all else was now safe from harm. Even if the entire structure came down, they’d be left untouched and continue with their separate air and water systems, hydroponics, and escape routes if required. However, I didn’t miss the dichotomy between the two units we felt required protection at all costs—the orphanage and weaponry. I still cringed at the thought we gave weaponry the same weight as children.

A
s I stepped onto the last level before the tunnel, a cry caught my attention. Stopping, I searched for the sobs that broke the deadly silence. A little girl curled on a cot near the doorway, snuggling into the stuffed bear clutched against her, crying.

T
he whimpering child drew me closer. My mind said, “Don’t stop, keep walking or lose Raeth and Ryder to Mandesa. Each snivel broke my heart. As I glanced between her and continuing to my target, she opened her sad, blue eyes, wiped her little nose, and I melted.

I moved to her side and knelt. “Why are you alone, sweetheart?”

“I don’t have anybody.”

I
glanced into the orphanage proper that housed both orphans and served as day care for parents on missions. After the near loss of it during the bombing, we’d moved it down here where the depths of the earth would protect these precious bundles. Given Mandesa’s promise, she never threatened, that decision seemed prescient. “Do you have a mommy. If not, you have people here to care for you.”

Her narrow shoulders shook as sobs wracked her body.
“No. She was a nurse. Daddy said she died when bomb went off in Arc.”

I clinched my teeth to keep from curling into a fetal position. I remembered seeing her mother laying half in Briggs’ room and half in the infirmary hall
as if it had happened yesterday. When the bomb detonated, the nails and shrapnel packed in it had pierced and shredded her body. “I know she didn’t want to leave you, but sometimes, bad things happen and we can’t stop them. Because of your mommy, another little boy still has his mommy.”

“That’s what Daddy said.”

I stroked her head, smoothing her hair. “Where’s your Daddy?”

Her little shoulders heaved. “
He’s dead, too.”

I
motioned to one of the workers a few beds down. “This child needs—”

“
They all do,” she murmured. Her gaze drilling me with contempt, she continued to another bed and lifted a crying child even younger than the little girl I was comforting.

M
y throat tight, I lifted her, sat on her cot, and snuggled her against me. When someone began playing the piano, I rocked her trembling body. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Annabelle.”

Leaning against the wall, I caressed her back. “May I call you Annie?”

She
took a stuttered breath. “Yes. My mommy called me that.”

“Okay, Annie. Would you like me to sing so you can fall asleep?”

It felt like she was trying to crawl inside me and wouldn’t stop until she was sure I couldn’t leave without disturbing her. Then she clutched her stuffed animal against her chest and whispered, “Yes, please.”

Sighing,
I stroked her hair just as Bendar had mine when Mandesa punished me. I didn’t remember any words to songs from my childhood, so I hummed and held her tucked tight against me. Gradually, her choppy breathing slowed into long, soft breaths.

As she slept, my gaze drifted over the children housed here. What an expression, housed. Yet that’s what it was—a barrack’s of children housed in rows of cots. It lacked color, comfort, and warmth. Yes, there were well-meaning caregivers, but from the looks of things, they were exhausted. Too many child
ren and not enough arms to hug and hold them or reassure them they were loved.

As a future commander,
I should have visited, seen what conditions the children lived in. They were the survivors of our soldiers, doctors, nurses, and teachers who’d given their lives in our cause. Be they human or Neumarian, they were also our future.

Where earlier in the day, I bubbled with anger at the time Ryder spent here, now I
understood. If it was within his power, he helped. Child or adult, it didn’t matter. As I looked around me again, I wondered if it was here, surrounded by these innocent souls, that Ryder found solace over the loss of his gift. He could heal a small cut, but beyond that, his gift remained dormant. Perhaps his limited powers were useful here. These children only cared about him, not what he could bring to the war. They loved him, and he loved them. I knew he took them frequently to the surface for playtime under the open sky.

S
haken by my thoughts and what the future held, I slid Annie from my lap, settled her on the lumpy cot, and tucked the thin sheet under her chin before retreating to the safety of the stairwell. I glanced back at the maze of beds filled with lost, heartbroken children and was hit by a wave of disgust. Why were the innocent always the ones to suffer the most during war?

With a deep breath, I forced
myself to focus on the upcoming faux peace talks and raced down the last flight of stairs. Reaching the bottom, I jogged through a half a kilometer tunnel to the new weaponry. Should it be attacked again, not only did blast doors separate it from the Arc, but so did explosives which would collapse the tunnel. Stepping into Penton’s office, I found him seated at his desk with Raeth on his lap, feeding him fruit from the mess hall.

“We need to talk
, Penton.” My tone drew their attention.

Brows furrowed, Raeth stood, her hand on his shoulder.
“S-sounds s-serious.”

He
set the orange sections aside. “I’ve been working on the weapon, but it’s complicated. I have to—”

I leaned
back against the door jam and hooked my thumbs in the front pockets of my pants. “No more scientific lingo. We both know it is completed and has been for months. Why are you stalling?”

“I overheard General Bellator
and Councilman Ridgecroft arguing about the attack on Acadia. Did you know the councilman wasn’t going in peacefully? I have no problem with him killing Mandesa. She deserves it. Maybe even some of her guards, but he not only wants to wipe them out, he also wants to kill every living soul in the city. I not only have friends and, if they’re still alive, family there, but what about all the innocent children and supporters of the rebellion and Triune?”

I shook my head. “No, the entire point of waiting for your instant sleep bomb was to prevent
loss of life.”

“Th
at wasn’t why they were arguing. The UE has stockpiled weapons of mass destruction, including gas bombs they acquired during the Great War. A ship carrying the original bombs that zombified half the community was shot down. The council has them, and they’ve been waiting for an opportunity for payback. If Ridgecroft can release them in Acadia, he will. My sleep device is all he needs to move in. The man wants retribution, not peace.”

I closed my eyes and exhaled. Just what we didn’t need, a leader of the council going rogue. I thought we’d shot this down at the meeting last year.
“I’ll speak to my father. He’d never agree to this. It’s genocide. We aren’t Mandesa.”

“It’s war. Decisions have to be m-made. Isn’t th
-that what you s-said?” Raeth threw my words of a year ago back in my face, but the scrunch of her nose warned me there was more. Her gaze narrowed as she approached with fire in her eyes.”

Penton charged forward, jumping between us.
“Raeth, stop. Semara did what she had to do to save us all. I couldn’t have smothered the blaze if she hadn’t closed the doors.”

“M-move
,” Raeth ordered in a tone I’d never heard come from her.

I slid to the side and nudged Penton from her advance. “What is it?”

Hands fisted at her side, she sneered. “M-my best friend betrayed me.”

Penton slicked back his hair. “It had to be done. I insisted. It’s not Semara’s fault.”

“What?” I demanded.

“Penton’s m-meant to die. That’s what the seer s-said, right? Your mother? You knew and you left him to die the day of the fire.”

“Semara?” Ryder entered. “What’s going on?”

Penton sighed. “Thank goodness you’re here.”

“S-stay out of it, brother. I’m grown and c-can take care of m-myself.” Raeth closed the distance between us eyeing me with a venomous stare.

I fought for the right words, but my lips wouldn’t move, they only trembled.

“You don’t deny it.” Raeth shoved me and I stumbled back.

Ryder caught me.

Penton’s arms encircled Raeth and held her fast.

“Whatever it is you think she did, you’re wrong
,” Ryder insisted.

I stood in his arms and shook my head. “
Raeth’s right. Father told me about it. Someone close to and beloved by the Triune is destined to die saving us, but Raeth, you need to know that even at the time, I didn’t believe it was Penton. Without him, you’d lose your will to live. He’s as much a part of the Triune as Ryder, you, and I are.”

“Then why did you agree with Penton and let him do it? He could’ve died.”

“Because it was the only chance any of us had to survive. Penton knew it, too. That’s why he suggested it.” I couldn’t let myself off. They had to understand that the war was changing us and me particularly, and I feared once that truth hit them, I’d lose them.