Bad Intentions (34 page)

“Trust me. I won’t let you fall,” he says, as I step out of the car and almost lose my footing on the uneven ground. He steadies me in his arms, and in one swift motion, he tugs on the tie and allows it to fall away.

My eyes meet his for the first time in days, and I feel as if I’m staring into the depths of his soul. There is so much emotion in his expression. So many questions we need to answer. There are things that I need to confess but right now, I can’t ignore the connection I feel in his arms.

I forget about everything but him.

“This way,” he instructs, as he leads me around the front of the car.

There is a cabin in front of us. It’s small—built to sleep maybe four people— but it’s breathtaking. There’s a large porch on the front and nothing but green, lush wilderness behind it.

“Thomas built this place for Meredith as an anniversary gift. Her line of work can wear anyone down fast, and he built it as a place for them to come and relax. It’s a place of seclusion from the crazy world we live in. There’s no cable or Internet, but it has the necessities.”

“I can’t… This place is gorgeous. Ryle, this is very sweet, but—.” His index finger presses against my lips and stops me from talking. “But nothing. Let’s just go in. I have some stuff planned, including dinner. Just relax and don’t fight it.
Us.
I know we need to deal with some stuff, and I promise you we will. Okay?”

I nod and follow his lead as he walks toward the cabin with my bag in tow. As soon as he opens the door, my eyes take in more beauty. “This place is amazing. Thomas must really love Meredith.”

Ryle sighs as he says, “Yeah. He does.”

My heart swells with emotion, and my eyes begin to fill to the brink of spilling over with tears. Ryle steps in front of me and drops the bags to the floor. “I don’t ever want to be the reason you cry again.”

I don’t know how to respond. I lean forward into his embrace and allow him to wrap his arms around me. Deciphering this moment is impossible. I don’t want to send him mixed signals, but I can’t make myself pull away from him, either.

“I’m going to start dinner. How do you like your steak?”

“Like jerky,” I respond. A trace of a smile tugs at his mouth. I’ve missed that smile.

He turns toward the kitchen, and I set off to explore the living room. It’s simple, but very elegant in its own way. There are not a lot of pictures or décor like the Benson’s main residence. There are a few rustic pieces here and there mixed with different shades of light blue in the furniture. Thomas nailed it on the relaxing tones. I feather my hands over the throw pillows on the loveseat, and then sink down into the softness, letting the cushions comfort me. Leaning my head back, I stare up at the wooden planked ceiling.

“A penny for your thoughts?” I hear Ryle’s voice near my side. Turning my head, I see he’s holding out a wine glass for me. I’ve never had wine. It always seems so sophisticated. I guess that’s why the Bensons have some here in their secret getaway.

“Thank you.” I take the chilled glass from his and sip the wine. It’s surprisingly good and sweet. “A penny for yours?”

“I’m sorry for everything.” Ryle breaks the dam and sinks to his knees in front of me. “I screwed up by pushing you away and not giving you a chance to explain. Also for not telling you the moment Naomi came over. I can’t imagine how it felt to see her open the door.”

“It was like a punch in the face.”

Ryle reaches up and rakes his hand through his silky hair.

“I’m glad that buzz cut was only temporary.” I try to lighten our situation.

He grins at me boyishly, but dives right back in. “I just want you to know how I feel about you. I haven’t been the best at expressing myself, and that’s on me. But Adaley, you have to know how much you mean to me. How much you light up my life. I…” he mutters. “I’m falling in love with you. Every day, little by little, I lose a piece of myself to you. When you were gone, I did something.” He pauses to gauge my reaction.

Oh, no.
Please don’t say you screwed someone. Please. I know it’s not fair, but it will only crush me more.

“I drank. A lot. Tank actually had to stop me from raiding my parent’s liquor cabinet for the second day in a row.”

“The same Tank that busted your lip?” I reach forward and trace the outline of his cut with my finger.

He briefly tenses under my touch and then presses his cheek into my palm. “I know I was an asshole about the whole prescription thing. It just scared me. You don’t know how it feels to wake up every day and know that your mom… she…the drugs…they took her from me.”

“Ryle.” I cup his face with one hand and sit my drink on the end table with the other. “I had a really long car ride back home, and it gave me time to stop and reflect on things. Everything. At first I was irate and cursed your name for a hundred miles, but then I thought about how I never confided in you about the medicine. It’s a part of my life that I try not to think about, so willingly talking about it and opening up is hard. I should have told you, and I’m sorry that I didn’t. And I believe you about the Naomi stuff. I don’t think, well…now— because trust me I thought you had cheated—but I don’t believe that now. It’s funny because we ask God to change
situations
for us, not realizing that he put us in these situations to change
us
. You changed me, Ryle. You made me bold and fearless. You made me realize that love isn’t supposed to be easy. If it was, no one would be single. It’s supposed to be worth it.”

“Am I worth it?” His voice is a low tremble, barely audible.

“Love’s a feeling. Not a decision. You’ve been worth it since the very beginning.”

His strong hand takes my face and holds it gently. I’m already lost in his eyes when he leans forward and claims my mouth. I inhale sharply at the contact of his lips on mine. I’ve dreamt of this euphoric feeling for days. His kiss is surprisingly gentle—nothing like the brashness that Mark and I shared.

My lips feel neglected as Ryle pulls away to nibble on my earlobe. His touch ignites my body.

I have to tell him before this goes any farther.
It’s only fair. Then, he can make the decision on what lines we cross tonight. “Ryle, I had sex.” I blurt out the words, knowing that the more I stew over the idea of telling him, the more my backbone will shrink.

His eyes question before his mouth moves. “What?”

I stiffen momentarily and then respond in a rush of words. “I had sex with Mark. I was…he was… we were drunk and one thing led to another, and I was so upset. I just wanted the pain to go away. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, and I made a huge mistake. I’m so sorry.” Tears fall down my face in streams. Sniffling, I try to keep my composure and fail miserably. I collapse on the floor in front of him. “Please forgive me. I’m so sorry. I swear it. That gift was meant for you. The entire time, I knew I was making a mistake and even slept on the floor. I was so ashamed of myself I couldn’t stomach sleeping in the same bed with him.”

He brings my hand up to his mouth and presses a kiss to my palm before replying. “I’m not going to lie and say that it doesn’t pain me to know you gave yourself to someone else.” He clears his throat. “That you willingly went to bed with another man. But, it doesn’t make me care about you any less. We can’t stay broken forever. I won’t make it through another day without you. We can’t sort this out together unless we forgive one another for our mistakes.”

“I’m madly in love with you Ryle Allen Benson. I can’t change the past or what happened, and for that I’m sorry, but since the first day that I met you, I knew my heart was a goner. One simple look from you made me weak in the knees, and I won’t allow either of our pasts to tarnish what we have. Please say you’ll forgive me. I promise to make it up to you every day for forever.”

“Stop talking. Please. Let me show you what your first time should have been like.”

Grabbing a blanket from behind Adaley, Ryle lays it on the floor and gently eases her onto it. His hand moves slowly over her body, caressing, taking its time with every stroke of his palm. “Did he slowly undress you?” he says as he unbuttons her jeans with expert fingers. He leans forward and kisses the soft skin that was hidden under the button. Adaley raises her body, silently giving him permission to pull her pants down. One leg at a time he does, leaning forward to slowly and tantalizingly drag his lips up each bare thigh. “Did he kiss every part of your naked body?”

As the words leave his lips, he desperately fights the urge to rip off those pretty, teal panties and slide into her wet opening. He knows that this is about her though. He needs to make her forget all about
him
. The sweet memory of this moment, done right, will be burned into her brain for years to come.

Ryle’s hands explore the soft lines of her waist before slowly raising the hem of her shirt over her head. The sight in front of him is breathtaking, and he fights his natural instincts to be inside her as quickly as possible. As he leans forward and claims her mouth again, he covertly readjusts himself in his pants. Ryle is rock hard and slightly uncomfortable, but he is determined to give her pleasure before taking it himself.

His lips trace a sensuous path around the lace on her bra before he reaches to fondle her, one soft globe at a time. Her nipple becomes marble hard under his touch and he groans out loud, unable to keep his desire in check.

“Please take me, Ryle. I need you. I love
you
.”

“Shh,” he whispers. “I’m going to kiss you now—but not on your mouth. Did he do that? Did he make love to you with his tongue?” Not once has she responded to his questions which is good, because Ryle knew he wouldn’t know how to stay calm should she have answered him with a
yes
.

Her back arches as Ryle kisses her most secret place, first over her panties and then again when he pulls the material to the side. She tastes like sweet honey, and it drives him wild.

His dick twitches in his pants, and Ryle knows he won’t be able to hold off much longer. Raising his body, he hurriedly unzips his pants and slides them off with one quick swoosh. “I love you Adaley. Honest to God, I do. Let me show you how good we can be together.”

Adaley gasps in anticipation as Ryle lays his body over hers and positions himself at her opening. His body imprisons hers as he rocks into her, over and over, and he pushes them both over the edge of ecstasy.

M
y lungs feel like they’re on fire from bellowing out in pleasure. I can’t recall ever feeling this way, and certainly not after Mark. Wait, I don’t even remember who Mark is. I smile to myself. All I can think about is this gorgeous, breathtaking man beside me. Our bodies, now moist from sweat, are sprawled out on the floor. Our hands are laced together. Something about how Ryle holds me, soothes me. I don’t ever want to let go of him.

“That was—.”

“The best sex you ever had?” He leans up on his elbow and faces me while letting out a deep, sultry laugh.

“I am utterly and senselessly infatuated with you. Does that answer your question?” I tenderly stroke his forearm with my hand. Before he can respond, my stomach growls loudly. “Oh my gosh! That’s so embarrassing.” I chuckle.

“You seemed to have worked up an appetite. Come help me make dinner.”

As Ryle moves to stand up, I quickly cover my mouth to mute the girly sounds of appreciation that threaten to escape as I stare at his naked, round butt cheeks. I lean forward to grab my shirt just as he turns around and grabs my arm.