BAD BOY ROMANCE: DIESEL: Contemporary Bad Boy Biker MC Romance (Box Set) (New Adult Sports Romance Short Stories Boxset) (120 page)

“She feels left out.”

“I don’t blame her,” Lori said.

“But I can’t allow it.”

Lori looked at him for a while without saying anything. “You can’t stop her.”

“I can refuse to do it.”

“There are a lot of shifters in the world that won’t feel the same,” Lori said.

“This isn’t right. This isn’t how its supposed to be. This was not how I pictured our life together. She can’t let go of being human. She doesn’t know what she’s sacrificing.”

“I think she knows exactly. She’s married to you. She’s a part of the pack. If anything, she knows what she’s letting herself in for.”

Bruce shook his head. “It’s not the same. Being a shifter is just… you won’t know the contrast because you were never a human. But this isn’t fun, not if you know what it’s like to know freedom.”

“Seems to me like you’re not saying no because
she
can’t afford to lose touch with her humanity,” Lori said and Bruce snapped his head up. “Looks like you’re the one that doesn’t want her to lose touch with being a human. Because she’s the only link you have left. You don’t want her to change because then it’s over for you.”

Bruce was suddenly angry.

“Well, I didn’t expect someone like you to understand,” he said and stormed into the trees.

“She’s not going to wait for you permission, Bruce,” Lori called after him. “You might lose her humanity, but if you don’t allow her to and she goes somewhere else, you’ll lose her altogether.”

Bruce kept walking until he couldn’t hear her anymore. He didn’t want to hear what she had to say. He didn’t want to know what she thought. It was a mistake talking to Lori. It always was.

She didn’t follow him. He hadn’t expected her to. This wasn’t about that at all. This was about Jenna’s safety, about her well-being, physically and emotionally. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she was human and Bruce was jealous of that.

Or maybe it had everything to do with it.

He started his descent, moving slowly down the mountainside, reluctant to go home. His body was drained of energy and he needed sleep. But Jenna was going to be home and he didn’t know how to face her. He thought he knew her. He thought that everything was going to be fine, and they’d finally reached their happily ever after. But now?

Now it was all wrong again. And this time, he didn’t know how he could fix it. One thing he knew, though. He wasn’t going to let her change into a shifter. She could come to the plateau again. She could go to their meetings and feel like she was part of the pack. He could even try to take her out to hunts so she could see Saxon’s progress. But he couldn’t let her become a shifter.

He couldn’t afford to lose her again. There had been too many times, and he wasn’t going to be able to survive it again.

Chapter 4

Jenna tried for almost two weeks. She tried to make it work with Bruce who was a shifter, and Saxon who was a shifter too. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could get used to it.

They fell into a routine very quickly. Saxon and Bruce went out at night and Bruce taught the boy how to hunt and how to control his animal. He had more magic than Bruce had. It didn’t make sense, but that was how it was. And Bruce had said that if Saxon could learn control so early, he was going to be very powerful one day.

And Jenna wanted that for him. The more power the boy had, the better chance he had of survival. He could fight the Assassins and win, maybe even be the alpha of his own pack one day, or of the pack in the Syracuse mountains. But it also meant that with all Saxon’s power, he was even further removed from Jenna. He hadn’t just become a shifter overnight, he had become a different person. It was like all the strangeness that had been in him had found a home.

And Jenna felt like in a way she’d lost her son. He had a better bond with Bruce now. Jenna still spent time with Saxon, but he could relate better to Bruce. And Jenna was alone again. More alone than she’d been when it had just been her and Bruce, because this time Bruce had Saxon, and Jenna had no one.

And it wasn’t worth it. She’d tried, she really had. But it wasn’t working. Bruce hated the idea of her becoming a shifter, and in a way she understood. The same problem was there with Saxon now – a potential target for the Assassins when he was so young and inexperienced.

“If Saxon can handle it with his age and level of experience, why can’t I?” Jenna had asked Bruce almost a week ago. “That’s not fair.”

Bruce had been angry. He always got angry when Jenna spoke about being one of them.

“It’s not the same thing. Saxon hadn’t chosen to be a shifter, he was born one.”

“And you?” Jenna had asked. “Didn’t you choose?”

Bruce’s face had gone hard, eyes cold and lifeless.

“No,” he’d said. “I didn’t.”

That had been the last of it. Jenna hadn’t mentioned it again and Bruce pretended like it was never a topic at all.

New Moon rolled round. It was the darkest night of the month, and Bruce and Saxon didn’t go out together. There was no moon and their animals didn’t crave to get out. Bruce tucked Saxon into bed and promised him they would go out again the next day. Jenna listened to their conversation, jealous that Bruce was the one tucking Saxon in now. Saxon never asked for her anymore.

When Bruce came out of the room he closed the door behind him. He walked to Jenna and pulled her close to him.

“I’m going to go up to the plateau. Tara called an emergency meeting.”

“Emergency?” Jenna asked and fear clawed at her throat.

“Don’t worry. Let me go up and find out.”

Bruce pulled her tight against him into a hug. Jenna breathed in and smelled his scent, wild and full of forest, even though he hadn’t been out yet.

“Be careful,” she said softly. Bruce nodded and kissed her on her hair.

“I won’t be long. It’s just a talk.”

Bruce walked out of the door and Jenna watched him go. The night was dark, and she could feel it on her skin even though the moon wasn’t out and there wasn’t supposed to be magic in the air. She had a feeling that this thing she felt was the reason for the meeting. Something was wrong, she just knew it.

Jenna sat down on the couch facing the door and picked up a book. She couldn’t concentrate on what she was reading, and after reading the same page five times, she closed it and put it down. Two hours later she heard footsteps and then Bruce pushed open the door and stepped into the house.

He looked tired like he’d had a long night even though it had just been two hours. Jenna stood up. When he looked at her his eyes were haunted.

“They’re in Rhodestown,” he said. He didn’t have to specify – Jenna knew he was talking about the Assassins.

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

Bruce shrugged. “Lay low until they move along. They don’t come this way, usually.”

“But it’s not impossible,” Jenna said. Bruce nodded. It wasn’t impossible. They both carried the last war with the Assassins close to their hearts, a reminder of what they were fighting and what they lost.

“How are we going to protect Saxon?” Jenna asked. “He’s just a baby.”

Bruce sat down heavily and he looked like all his energy had been drained. Hunting wasn’t going to be much use tonight – without the moon there just wasn’t a lot of preternatural energy to go around.

“We’ll be fine, Jen,” Bruce finally said. He rubbed his hand down his face and his expression made her think that he wasn’t sure about what he said, but he looked her in the eye. “The pack will look out for him, and I’ll always be there.”

Right, Jenna thought. They pack, and Bruce. But she couldn’t be there. She was his mother. She’d carried him inside of her, felt him move, lived and breathed wit him, for nine months. And now she couldn’t look after him. She couldn’t protect him.

“What if you can’t?” she whispered. Bruce didn’t answer her. He didn’t reassure her, and that made her that much more scared. What if he couldn’t? What if something went wrong?

“I need to get to bed,” Bruce said. He looked like he was going to fall asleep right there. Jenna walked to him and held out her hand. Bruce took it and she led him to the bedroom. She tucked him in, blankets up to his chin, and stroked his hair and his face until he fell asleep. It wasn’t long before he started snoring and Jenna knew he wasn’t going to wake up from anything for a while.

Jenna stood up and walked to the window, looking into the darkness and the trees that lay beyond it. If she wanted to go, she had to do it now. Now was when it was safest for her to find another shifter. Now was when the Assassins wouldn’t expect anyone out.

Jenna got dressed in warmer clothes and she packed a bag with two changes of clothes. She didn’t want to be away from home longer than that. She got Saxon clothes too and added it, along with another warm jacket and another pair of socks and underwear, just in case.

When Jenna went to Saxon’s room she stood in the doorway, watching him sleep for a while. He was beautiful when he slept, with his eyes closed he looked so much younger, so much like the human he used to be.

A lump rose in Jenna’s throat, but she swallowed it down and walked to the bed.

“Saxon, honey,” she said, stroking his hair. His eyes fluttered before they opened. “Come on, sweetheart. You and I, we’re going to go on a trip.”

They left the house before sunrise. Bruce was sleeping and Jenna counted on the fact that it was new moon and his energy was drained. If he woke up, they weren’t going to get away and then Jenna would have to wait for another month if she wanted to do it at all.

And she didn’t want to wait any longer. The more time passed, the longer Jenna couldn’t protect Saxon.

“Where are we going?”  Saxon asked. His voice was still thick with sleep, hair sticking up in small tufts.

“Mommy wants to make sure that nothing goes wrong ever again, sweetheart,” Jenna said. It wasn’t an answer and she knew that Saxon was going to ask again in a short while, but, for now, he stayed quiet. Jenna made her way through Williamsburg. She knew better than to go through the forest. Even though it was new moon there were still animals out there and she didn’t want to take a chance. Not while she was just a human.

Her plan was to go to Port Alfred. It wasn’t too far to travel, but it was far enough from Rhodestown, where the Assassins were, and far enough from Williamsburg so that when Bruce noticed they were gone it would take him a while to find them.

Jenna had called a taxi and the car waited for them where the dirt road ran into the freeway. Jenna opened the door and let Saxon get in first before following with the bag.

“Port Alfred, please,” she said. The driver looked at her over his shoulder.

“That’s a far drive,” he said.

“I’ll pay,” Jenna said and she hoped that he wouldn’t argue. She didn’t want to go to public transport with Saxon. There was too much at stake.

The driver didn’t argue. He pulled off and to Jenna’s relief started driving in the direction of Port Alfred. By the time the sun came up they’d already driven three and a half hours. The cold of the night gave way to the warmth of the sunlight that crept across the countryside. Saxon lay on Jenna’s lap, eyes closed, but she doubted he was sleeping. She was a nervous wreck and she knew Saxon could feel it. Children were open to the emotions of their parents, but with Saxon being a shifter it was going to be more now than ever.

Jenna had been serious about becoming a shifter. She still was. But now that she was on the way, now that it was in motion, it was a different story. Jenna was scared. There was no way around it – she was scared to leave the life she’d always known behind. She was scared to become something else. She was scared to start sharing her body with something that was going to want full control. She’d seen the other shifters lose it often enough to know exactly she was letting herself in for, and she knew it wasn’t a party.

Jenna could still turn back. If she turned around now they might even be back before Bruce started getting worried about where they were. But that wasn’t going to solve anything. If Jenna turned back now she was still going to be a human. The Assassins were still going to be in Rhodestown, and Saxon was still going to be a target that she wouldn’t be able to protect.

She had to go through with this if she wanted anything to change – if she wanted to feel adequate as a mother again.

After six hours of driving the buildings of Port Alfred came into view, and just after that, the strip of the ocean lined the horizon.

“Look, baby,” Jenna said, pointing for Saxon to follow her finger. “The sea.”

He looked, face full of awe, and then his expression changed.

“I can’t swim,” he said. And Jenna knew he wasn’t talking about himself as a boy, but as a bear cub. He would sink, and he knew it instinctively. Jenna’s heart constricted. Letting go of that, a small freedom that didn’t matter to her usually, suddenly seemed horrible to lose. Never swim again?

But there were bigger things. Jenna would make sacrifices for Saxon’s safety. For her family. She would sacrifice herself if it meant they would be safe. And in a way, she was.

They got out of the car when it parked close to the harbor, and she handed the driver a wad of bills. She’d withdrawn it two nights before and hidden it under a loose plank in the lounge. The driver looked at the money and nodded. It was more than he would have asked. It was all the money she’d made when she’d worked in El Verano – kept for a rainy day. And today it was pouring.

“Where are we going?”  Saxon asked her again when the taxi pulled off and they were left standing alone on the curb.

“We are going to find someone who’s like you,” she said. Saxon frowned. “Can you sniff out another shifter?”

Saxon looked at her like he didn’t know her, but then he nodded slowly.

“Will you know if it’s a bear?”

He nodded again. “Are we allowed to be here?” Saxon asked. And Jenna knew that technically the answer was no. But she needed to do this.

“We can be anywhere we want, honey,” she said. “Will you see if you can find someone?”

Saxon looked at her for just long enough that she knew he was doubting her. It made her feel nauseous, made her feel like she was making a mistake. But there was no turning back. Not now that she was so close.

Saxon held up his hand so Jenna could take it, and then he started walking uphill. Jenna trusted that he was following a scent, but the truth was she didn’t know. They kept walking.

All the time they walked that nausea swirled in her stomach. Nausea born from fear. But this was the right thing to do. She couldn’t let her mind get to her now. Jenna’s skin crawled, magic flowing from Saxon up her arm from the hand she held onto him with.

“Are you okay?” she asked. When he turned and looked at her his eyes were the brightest green – shifter eyes. He nodded and they kept walking.

Jenna’s skin prickled all over her body. It was like the further they went, the more she felt the magic in the air, the power that washed over her even though it was daylight and it was the morning after new moon. The hair at the back of her neck stood and end and it felt like it tried to march down her back. She shivered.

Saxon suddenly stopped.

“Something’s wrong,” he said and looked around him like he was expecting to see something. They’d made their way through the town and they were between tall buildings. They stood in a narrow street. The wind blew from the front and Saxon breathed in deep like he was smelling the air.

“Mommy,” he said, but before he could say anything else someone stepped from a side alley into their path.

He was tall and muscular. He looked like a regular man aside from his build, with reddish hair and pale blue eyes. He smiled, but that smiled didn’t reach his eyes. He started walking toward them. The way he carried himself was like he was a lethal weapon, not a human being.

Jenna had seen that before. She recognized the movement, the build, the dead eyes. Nausea got worse, and Jenna realized it hadn’t just been fear. Her body had been warning her, her feelings had picked up and she’d felt the trouble. She should have listened to it. Instead, she’d written it off as a case of nerves.