Authors: Kylee Parker
Megan shrugged. “I dunno, but I think it’s going to happen. And about time, too, my mom won’t get off my back.”
I rolled my eyes. “My mom gave up a long time ago,” I said through a huff. “Like, when Matthew and I broke up.”
“Oh, god,” Megan said and then clapped a hand over her mouth. “Sorry. Nothing!!”
“What?” I squinted at her. “What is it?”
She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. If there was one thing I could ever count on Megan for, it was lots of drama. “Well, don’t be mad, okay? Like, promise me that you won’t be mad.”
“I can’t make that promise,” I said narrowly. “Spill. What’s going on?”
Megan licked her plump lower lip. “So you know how Tyler’s friends with him, right?’
My gaze darkened. “Yeah,” I replied. “They’ve been friends since undergrad.”
“Right,” Megan affirmed. “Well, in August, Tyler and I went to this yacht party in DC and he was there.”
“Did he get drunk and fall overboard?” I joked, glaring. My ex was a drunken slob, and I couldn’t imagine how bad he’d be on a boat.
Megan bit her lip. “Not exactly,” she admitted. “He got engaged.”
The piece of California roll I was eating fell from my chopsticks and into my lap. I didn’t even glance down. “What?” I hissed. “To whom?” In my chest, I felt my heart slowly turn into a block of ice. Tears came to my eyes and I tilted my head to the ceiling, willing them to disappear back into my head.
“Her name is Amelia,” Megan said cautiously. “Amelia Hodges. We went to school with her, do you remember her?”
“I do,” I said acerbically. “She and Matthew were friends.”
“I don’t think he cheated on you,” Megan said. “I don’t think he would have done that.”
I pushed my plate a few inches in front of my on the table. My appetite had completely disappeared. “He did,” I argued. “He even told me that he did.”
“Maybe he was just looking for a way to make you hate him,” Megan said. “Men have done stranger things.”
“So why would he lie without actually getting to have any fun?” I asked, feeling frustrated with her all of a sudden. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I guess not.”
“Are you going to the wedding?”
Megan blinked. “What?”
“Are you and Tyler going to the wedding?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Please don’t kill me if we get invited.”
“What the hell, Megan, you’re
my
friend!” I cried, glaring at her. “You’re supposed to support me!”
“I know, and I do, honey. You know that. But you broke up over a year ago, remember? Most people move on with their lives in a few months, but it’s like you want to be stuck in the past on purpose. Leda, if you really want to get over him, you’re going to have to try.”
I shook my head. “Nope, I swore off men for grad school. I can’t have anything happen like the last semester of senior year.”
Megan smiled at me sympathetically. “It won’t be like that,” she offered. “Just get out there and date a couple of times, what harm could it do?”
“Megan, I spent the whole half hour I was home thinking about how much I hate Stratton,” I told her pointedly. “Can you imagine how screwed up my life would get if I actually dated someone?”
“But it would take your mind off Stratton,” Megan pointed out.
I frowned. She had a point. But even so, I couldn’t risk anything happening like what had happened before. Matthew and I had been so crazy about each other when we first started dating that nothing else seemed as important as our relationship. I’d neglected friends and grades and felt smug and content to be locked away with him. Everything I loved was no longer as interesting as Matthew had been. We’d spent whole days in bed together, making love and drinking tea and talking Renaissance philosophy. He’d been an art history major, with big dreamy blue eyes and dark hair and sexy, veiny hands. I’d fallen for him almost instantly and we’d had this electric chemistry.
And then somewhere, down the line, it became less fun. I didn’t enjoy spending all of my time locked up with him, alone in his room watching movies. I felt lonely and weird whenever I was apart from him. During the days in the winter, I cried if the snow was too bad to drive over to his house. I was still obsessed with him, but I felt the obsession taking over my life and everything that had been important to me. I felt like less of a person when he was around; I felt like he was the only thing in my life that mattered. It had been incredibly romantic, but not sustainable. He started to resent how clingy I was when I already hated myself for wanting to spend all of my time with him. Everyone had always thought we were really in love – it seemed like weekly, a new friend would be gushing over how cute we were – but no one saw the ugly, dirty fights where he yelled and I cried.
Matthew had become my best friend while we dated, and when we broke up, I was devastated. I stayed in bed crying for weeks, and not even Megan could have pulled me out of my shell. The worst thing about it was that I felt as thought it had all been my fault. If I hadn’t gotten myself so obsessed with him in the first place, it never would have happened. My grades had suffered and a lot of my friends hadn’t really wanted to talk to me when I tried to go crawling back. But Megan had stuck with me, and for that I felt really grateful. She was an amazing friend. I knew that it would be wrong to be mad if she went to Matthew’s wedding, but I couldn’t help it.
It was just so hard to believe that he’d moved on like that, in less than a year. I remember that I desperately wanted to marry him. It was one of the things we sometimes fought about.
“I love you,” I’d plead. “And I know you love me. Why can’t we get married?”
“I love you more than anything,” Matthew would counter. “But I don’t want to get married until I’m at least thirty. You know that, Leda. Why is it such a big deal that we rush into it now?”
“Because we already know that we want to spend the rest of our lives together!” I’d squeaked, feeling hurt. “Why can’t you promise yourself to me like that? We don’t even have to get married right away; we could be engaged for two or three years if you’d like.”
“No, Leda,” Matthew had always said.
There had been one time in the spring, when I felt our relationship coming to a close, when he’d called me and asked me to come over. We’d had sex and then he’d immediately gotten up and shuffled into his pants. He’d told me that he loved me and that if I really wanted, we could go to the courthouse and get married in the morning. But I knew his heart wasn’t in it. It broke my heart when he offered because I knew that he’d given up. As much as I wanted to marry Matthew, I knew it would have been for the wrong reasons.
“Hello,” Megan said. “Earth to Leda.”
“I’m here,” I said finally. “But I’m not interested in dating right now.”
Megan grinned. “Then men are going to be all over it. They can sense when no one wants them. It threatens them.”
I smiled uncomfortably. “Tell me more about you and Tyler,” I said. “Have you looked at any rings?”
Chapter Two
Leda
The first week of classes went by in a rush, like it usually does. I was admittedly glad not to be a first year anymore; I felt like I knew what I was doing, even if I was flailing hopelessly. The classics program at UVA is pretty decently sized, but we all know each other, and it’s always nice to get some new faces in the program. I just had one class left for the week and then I was done. Megan was going to come over and cook dinner with me that night, and then we were going out to the movies. I was excited because I hadn’t seen her all week.
As I dashed into the classroom and took a seat, I thought about how well things had been going that week. Stratton had actually been a pretty gracious housemate so far. I’d been impressed.
“Hey, Leda,” Stratton had said, walking into the kitchen behind me. “I hope I did not keep you up last night.”
I’d blushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’d countered back.
He’d grinned. “Emily was here,” he said after a pause. “We watched a film.”
Rolling my eyes, I had to admit that so far, his little encounters weren’t nearly as disruptive as I’d feared. My room was on the other side of the house, and I hadn’t heard anything.
“Hello, and welcome,” Dr. Saunders began, stepping in front of us all. “I’m so glad to see some of you again for this study on Virgil’s Eclogues.”
I looked around, gazing at the other eleven people in the class. This was big for a grad seminar, and I was pleased to see a couple of first year students. There was a really cute blonde guy in the back. He shot me a grin when he caught me checking him out and I whirled back around, feeling embarrassed.
“Leda,” Dr. Saunders greeted me. “So very nice to see you again.” I blushed. He went around the room, introducing himself to the new students and greeting the ones that he knew from the previous year. Dr. Saunders was my favorite professor at the university, and I was always excited about his seminars.
He started talking about the first eclogue and I kept trying to pay attention but all I could think about was Stratton.
What the hell, Leda
, I asked myself.
Concentrate!
Fortunately, as the discussion went on, I found myself immensely involved in it and enjoying myself. The first years seemed incredibly smart, and the blonde guy countered a few of my points with his own. I didn’t like to admit it, but it was impressive. After class, I gathered up my books and was heading for the door when he caught up with me.
“Hey, Leda,” he said. “That’s a great name for a classics major.”
“I’m lucky I share an interest with my parents,” I replied, taking a better look at him.
“I’m Nick,” he offered, and we shook. Nick was about a head taller than me with dark eyes and dark blonde hair. He was really gorgeous, but looked a little young.
“How are you liking UVA so far?” I asked diplomatically. I instantly regretted not asking something else when I saw the disappointment flash over his face.
Leda, this is a guy. He’s talking to you. The least you can do is flirt,
I scolded myself.
Nick shrugged. “It’s great, honestly,” he said, reaching up and knotting his hands together behind his head. “I’m enjoying myself a lot.”
“My first year was fun,” I said. “I met a lot of cool people.”
Nick grinned, exposing flawlessly white teeth. “I bet,” he commented. “Is there anything to do around here?”
“Of course,” I replied. “We’re not totally in the boonies!” I was almost offended. I felt such a strong connection to school that it was hard to remember I hadn’t always lived there.
“Sorry,” Nick said with a laugh as he held up his hands. “I didn’t mean any offense. So are you from Virginia?”
I shook my head. “Upstate New York,” I told him. “My parents had a farm, but now they’re just kind of aging hippies.”
Nick nodded thoughtfully. “I like hippies,” he offered. “I’m from Atlanta. It’s kind of a fast place.”
“I’ve heard that,” I replied. “My friend Megan worked there as a bartender for one summer. She said that she would have made a pretty corpse if she’d stuck around there for too long.”
Nick let out a wolf whistle. “Yeah, it’s kind of like Sodom and Gomorrah,” he told me. “But it’s fun.”
“Charlottesville is fun, too,” I told him. “You just have to know what to do.”