Backstreet Mom: A Mother's Tale of Backstreet Boy AJ McLean's Rise to Fame, Struggle With Addiction, and Ultimate Triumph (34 page)

We were all befuddled by the
events of the afternoon. Thankfully, no one else had been injured, but there was one bit of
unpleasantness that still had to be
attended to. The bodyguard who
had botched the barricade placement had to be held accountable.
It was not the first time he had
gotten into trouble, so he was terminated. Alex and I felt bad for
him and told him that we did not
hold it against him.

BY THE TIME THE BOYS RETURNED HOME, it appeared that word of their
fame had finally spread to the States. With the release of their video,
"Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" in the fall of 1997, the boys began to
receive media attention in America. I was happy for them because I
knew how much they craved the respect of their peers. They wanted the
respect of other American artists, record producers and writers.

They also wanted a greater say in their career. Most pop groups are
told what to do by their record company from the time they wake up
until they go to sleep. They have little or no say when it comes to writing music or having any creative input in their videos. The boys wanted
to be true musical artists in every sense.

Alex brandishes his cane
after the accident

One result of their newfound confidence was that they were less eager to follow suggestions made by Johnny or Jive Records. Since they
were quickly becoming the largest pop group in the world, no one wanted
to start a war with them. Instead, they backed away and tried to make
the boys happy, at least for the time being.

Accompanying the boys' desire for greater creative independence was
the sobering realization that they were now more financially dependent
on management than when they first started out. As Alex and I learned
more about our financial situation, we became very angry. From day
one, the five boys had been charged for every dime that had been spent.
Every dinner with Lou, every golf game with Johnny, every hospitality
suite that Donna used, everything. That realization overwhelmed all of
the boys and their families. Then we learned that we were building up a
bill with Jive as well. All of the promotional expenses in the United
States, along with recording fees and transportation costs, were taken
out of the record sales.

The thing that angered us the most was the fact that no one had ever
bothered to explain any of that to us, not even when we asked. Finally,
we met with some attorneys in New York whom we asked to go over the
contracts. We were amazed to learn just how unfair the contracts were.
Lou got a piece from all sides-management, merchandise, record sales,
touring profits, everything.

We were all in agreement that management deserved its fair sharewe even agreed that Lou deserved a bit more, given the fact that he was
the one who had backed the group financially from the beginning-but
the numbers we were shown were absolutely outrageous. The other
parents and I were so angry with Lou at that point that it was a good
thing that he was not in reach. Each of us felt as though our children
had been horribly taken advantage of. I felt particularly awful, considering that I had added to the expenses by taking a small salary.

The other parents and I decided to make Lou, Johnny and Jive Records
account for every penny that thus far had been earned and spent. Thinking back on it now, the betrayal that Alex and I felt then was not unlike
what we had felt when his father left the first time and then again more
recently when he showed his true colors.

I believe that Alex felt doubly betrayed. He had formed a tight bond
with Johnny. The two of them genuinely enjoyed each other's company, whether it was in the studio or on the golf course. When the reality
of what had gone on hit Alex, it only added to his inner turmoil. I
understand why my son may have developed a deep mistrust of men.
All of the men that he trusted, with the exception of my dad and his uncle, had their own agenda-and it usually didn't include his best
interests.

During that time, Alex confided in me that performing had become
less fun. All of the meetings with attorneys, along with the business
affairs that had to be attended to constantly, weighed heavy on his mind.
The business of the business was getting to him. Alex was only nineteen, but he felt the same pressures as the CEO of a major corporation.

As his free time dwindled, Alex frenetically tried to cram as many
pleasures as possible into his life, including the spontaneous impulsive
shopping sprees that he had become famous for. He seemed intent on
spending every cent of what little money was coming in. We began to
argue a lot about money.

Alex bought his first car, a really nice BMW 325i. It was not the car he
originally wanted, but he took the advice of his uncle and purchased a
used one instead. With the help of my brother, Alex managed to get a
pretty good deal. No sooner did he buy the car than he decided to change
it. He painted it bright yellow and re-covered the entire interior in white
leather. It caused the break up of a friendship, since the guy who did the
work never consulted me and charged Alex an exorbitant amount of money.

Then Alex felt the need to change the wheels and tires for no good
reason. He spent an absolute fortune on that. Thus began another trend
that involved wasteful spending in an effort to hide from his problems.

What worried me the most was the uncertainty of Alex's financial
future. I had no way of knowing how long the income stream was
going to last. I tried desperately to get him to invest his money and
save it. His response was always, "It's my money and I can do with it
what I want."

On top of that, I saw Al's stage persona begin to dominate Alex. The
two had melded into one. AJ from the Backstreet Boys now lived in my
house. I kept waiting for Alex to reappear. It was to be a long and tortured wait.

Friends from his past popped out of the woodwork like termites. I
tried to tell him that they were nothing more than fair-weather friends. It
was blatantly obvious to everyone but Alex. They did not like him for
himself but rather for being a Backstreet Boy. Every time Alex came home,
his entourage of hangers-on increased. His group now included people
who a few years earlier would not have given him the time of day. With
each passing visit, he pulled further away from me. I felt totally helpless
and there was no doubt in my mind that he was on a dangerous course.

Alex's quest for independence peaked when he leased an apartment
with one of the other boys. Once he moved out of my apartment, all lines of communication disintegrated. He avoided his family and continually sought the advice of strangers.

On more than one occasion, he upset my mother by telling her that
he was coming to see her, then failed to show up for hours, if at all. It
was so painful for us as a family that we confronted him with an ultimatum: either straighten out your attitude or don't bother coming to see
the family at all, because the pain is too great.

Alex claimed that he didn't realize he had hurt us. He blamed much
of his behavior on his schedule, as well as the pressure he was constantly under. When he promised that he would work at making things better, I felt a glimmer of hope.

At that point, turmoil raged both inside and outside of the group.
The boys no longer knew whom they could trust. Lou and Johnny seemed
to be more interested in the new groups they had signed, including
*NSYNC. Once we had hired attorneys to start looking into the financial end of things, Lou got very defensive and stopped coming around.
When he did show up, Brian usually refused to look at him.

Adding to the stress, Alex expressed his rebellious nature with body
art. He got tattoo after tattoo. That caused more problems with his family and me, not just because of the tattoos, but because it was representative of other excessive behavior, including his willingness to live up to
the bad-boy image that had been given to him by the magazines. He
reveled in the attention that image brought him, especially among his
female fans. With Marisa out of the picture, he was free to play the
field-and he did, big time.

Legally, he could not go to bars unless we were out of the country.
When we traveled, he took advantage of the lower drinking ages to
party. Soon the partying became as excessive as his lifestyle. AJ seemed
intent on drowning out Alex.

WE SCHEDULED THE MEETING for a Sunday. The boys had to decide
whether or not they wanted to remain with Jive. Not only had the
attorneys found discrepancies in the financial statements from management, they uncovered the same problems with the statements from
Jive. Our attorneys felt that it was grounds to make Jive pay up or let
the boys go. Since the boys were so popular, we all felt Jive would
probably settle.

Another consideration was the fact that jive did not seem to know
what to do with the boys in the States. After discussing that issue at
length, the boys concluded that it was BMG, not jive, that had worked their butts off to break the boys in Europe and Asia. Now it was jive's
turn to step up and show what they could do. So far, they had stumbled
around like complete amateurs.

The Backstreet Boys had worked too hard and too long to let their
shot at success slip away just because their record company did not
want to take a chance on them in their own country. They had yet to
help the boys top the charts and something needed to be done to rectify
that. All we kept hearing was how there was no money in the budget for
this or that. Every one of us knew that the boys had made the people
around them, including the record company, millions of dollars. In our
eyes, that was criminal.