Backstage (The Barter System Book 4) (19 page)

The music cut off and she made a few quick notes on her clipboard while the dancers drank water and chatted quietly among themselves.  Diana was crying with her friend Mary and Kayla stood off to the side by herself. 

Another whistle got everyone’s attention.  “Great job, everyone.  I’m going to let y’all go early today.  Tempers are high and you’re tired.  You have three days off before the last push to opening night.  I hope I can trust each of you not to get too lazy.” 

The cast cheered and Linn held up her hand.  “I know y’all are busting your asses and I’m proud of you individually and as a group.  You do not have to like each other but you do need to respect each another.  We’re all grownups and it takes every person in this theater to pull this off successfully.” 

Walking up the side stairs, she stopped in front of the cast she’d picked herself.  “I expect a lot because I believe in your ability to deliver.  Childish drama has no place here and I don’t want another incident like today.”  Dropping her hand with the clipboard to her side, she smiled warmly.  “Enough of the mama voice.  See Miss Penny before you go and I’ll see you back here bright and early Tuesday.” 

She turned to Ezra as the stage emptied.  His smile lit her from the inside out.  “You handled that well.  You have an outstanding future in the theater industry, Miss Johannson.” 

“As long as this particular play, this particular season, is a success…that’s all I need.”  His eyes widened and she knew he probably didn’t understand what she meant. 

Before he could voice possible questions, the cast and several members of the theater staff swarmed around Madeline with hugs and thanks.  She’d given Penny a stack of cash bonuses for everyone in thanks, to spend over their time off.

“It’s just a little thing.  Y’all work hard and I push you.  Just a little something to blow frivolously and please don’t starve yourselves.  A couple of you are dropping dangerously.  Go on…get out of here and have fun!”  The troupe kissed her several times. 

The last person to approach her was Diana.  “I’m sorry about earlier, Linn.  I’m uber bitchy lately.  I don’t mean it.”

Linn took a deep breath.  “You’re getting tenser by the day.  You’re not eating, Diana.  I need you to
eat
.  It’s better for you and better for the show.  Will you try?” 

The dancer closed her eyes, gave a small nod, and followed the rest of the cast. 

When everyone was gone, she smiled up at Ezra.  “There are bonuses for your guys.  I’m giving them more because they kill themselves behind the scenes.  Let’s not mention hazard pay for dealing with bitchy actors.  Miss Penny has envelopes for them.”

“I can’t believe you did that, Linn.  We pay them top scale and they’re very happy working with you.”

She shrugged.  “It isn’t about the money.  I want them to know they don’t go unnoticed.  We took care of everyone and your people earned every dime.”  Linn made a few notes and walked to her desk.  Her body felt like it was vibrating.  “Things are coming along nicely.”

Off balance and worried about hiding her relationship with Ezra to everyone, including her sister, Madeline wondered what she would do when the play wrapped.  There was no doubt that she loved him, wanted him.  Despite the fact that she knew it wouldn’t work.

Mikayla came from the hallway with her head down.  As she glanced up and noticed the two of them standing at Linn’s desk, she plastered a smile on her face.  She’d changed into jeans and boots and held a cowboy hat and leather vest in her hand. 

At the moment, the Johannson girls would look right at home in their native Oklahoma. 

“I want to go dancing.  I found a club nearby and I need to blow off some steam.”  Her smile faltered when she met Ezra’s eyes.  “I’m beginning to think you brother is like an imaginary friend.  If y’all want to join us, you and the crew or whoever, come on over.  None of the cast.  I’m sick to death of looking at their faces.”

“Mikayla, are you alright?”

“Sure.  Nothing a couple of beers and dancing with strangers won’t fix, I guess.  I’ll call us a cab.  I put your hat in your dressing room.  See you outside.” 

They watched her walk around the curtain and take the stairs.  There was no sign of her usual joy, no laughter or bounciness, and she didn’t seem at all excited about going dancing. 

Lost in thought, she walked to her dressing room and picked up her old straw hat.  She’d planned to spend a few hours with Ezra to relieve some of her own tension but her sister needed her. 

Looking up, she gave him a small smile.  He reached out to stroke her hair off her face.  “Take your sister dancing.  See if you can’t get her to smile.”

“Do you know the place she’s taking me?”  He nodded and she shrugged off her blazer, pulling a leather vest over her tank top.  She led the way back to the stage.  “If you come by, the drinks are on me.  I can’t promise the music will be to your liking.”  Raking her fingers through her hair, she settled the hat over it and his eyes went wide.  It made her grin.  “Can’t play city girl all the time.”

“You look…damn, Linn.”

A single step brought her chest to chest with Ezra.  “Wrap up and come dance with me, Ezra.  Bring anyone else who wants to come but…dance with me.”

“I’ll try.” 

She knew she wouldn’t see him until after the long weekend and it made her heart hurt.  Shaking it off, she smiled and tucked her laptop into her bag.   

“Linn…”

“See you next week.”  With a cheerful wink she didn’t feel in the slightest and a wave, she went to join her sister.  As she slid into the back of the cab, she rested her head on the seat.  “I’m tired, Kayla.”

“Me, too.  Fuck dancing.  Let’s pick up ice cream and some movies.”

“Perfect.”

* * * * *

Ezra heard Isaiah walk up behind him.  “What happened to us?  They’re so full of life.”  He swallowed hard. “Were we ever that carefree?” 

“You used to be.  I was never very playful.” 

Isaiah looked at the ground, hands on his hips and jaw clenched.  They’d lost their parents when Isaiah was seventeen.  Taking the reins of an empire, worried about his younger brother, and grieving himself, he’d practically killed himself the first couple of years with stress. 

“You haven’t really laughed in years.  I miss it.  I think that young woman could give it back to you, Ezra.  You need to give her that chance.”

“What about you?  What about Mikayla?”

“She’s not for me.  Whatever her sadness is about, it will pass, and she’ll be back to herself again.  She doesn’t need someone like me in her life.”  His older brother met his eyes.  “You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Stop dicking around, Ezra.”

He watched Isaiah walk away and wondered at the men they’d become over almost two decades.  They were good men but hard ones, lonely, isolated from the things that made people want to get up in the morning. 

Part of him knew the Johannson sisters were destined for bigger things.  They’d stay at the Zelder Theater for a while but eventually, Hollywood was going to call. 

They’d be fools not to answer. 

If he let himself follow his attachment to the woman who had him twisted up mentally, emotionally, and sexually – the first woman in his life to accomplish it – he’d end up with his heart on a platter.

Ezra would never want or expect Madeline to cut her dreams short for a man.  He wouldn’t be the man to ask it of her.

He buried himself in work until he lost track of time and slept in his office.  The next morning, the
scent
of her woke him.

Chapter Seven

“Good morning, Ezra.”

He blinked, unsure if he was still in the midst of one of the many dreams he’d had about Madeline during the night.  She crouched beside him, looking fresh and lovely. 

Any man could get used to seeing her face when he opened his eyes…

“Hi.”  Sitting up on the edge of the sofa where he’d made love to her many times, he rubbed his hands over his face.  “What time is it?”

“Just after eight.”

“You didn’t sleep in?”

She laughed.  “When I put it all on the line to a live audience consisting of seasoned New Yorkers in two weeks?  No, Ezra.  I don’t really sleep these days.” 

Sliding his hand along her neck, he said firmly, “You have no reason to worry, Madeline.”

“Thank you for that.  I’m afraid its second nature.”  Settling beside him, she took his hand.  “Mikayla took a pre-dawn flight to Tulsa.  She told me she needed to hug our mom.”

“Did something happen last night?”

Her dark hair glistened in the low light as she shook it.  “We watched a couple of movies, ate too much ice cream, and went to bed.  She woke me up at five to say goodbye.” 

“You didn’t go dancing?” 

“Neither of us saw the point.”  Looking across the room, she added, “She said she was lonely and needed to see my parents, to remember her dreams.”

Ezra took in the sight of Madeline in yoga pants, sneakers, and a t-shirt.  “Did you go to the gym?”

“I…meant to.  I thought I’d check to see if you were here.  Take you to breakfast.”  They stared at one another for a long moment in silence.  “I needed to touch you.  That’s really what it was.”

He squeezed her hand and murmured with regret, “I haven’t brushed my teeth.” 

Reaching in her bag, she pulled out a bottle of water.  “I don’t care.  Swish if it makes you feel better.”

Taking a long drink of the water, he capped it and set it on the floor.  Then he pushed her back to the couch and stripped their clothes away in record time. 

Only when they were naked together, hands on each other, his sheathed cock buried inside her, did Ezra feel as if he could breathe again.  He drove her through two orgasms and as he came, she whispered at his ear, “I needed to remember a few things myself.”

Arms tight around her, the feel of her limbs hugging him back, he pressed his lips to her ear as his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. 

“What did you need to remember, Madeline?” 

“How you feel in my body, the way you smell, how warm you are.”  She nuzzled her cheek against his.  “I wanted to know what your stubble felt like and how your eyes look when you first wake up.” 

How quickly she could render him speechless.

He felt her tears on his skin though she never made a sound.  When he tried to pull back to look at her face, she held the back of his head with her palm. 

“No.  It’s nothing.  Don’t let me go, Ezra.” 

Adjusting his lower half, he settled more fully into the cradle of her body. 

Her arms and legs pulled him closer.  He didn’t want to crush her but her movements forced him to relax.  Finally resting his full weight on her, his arms crossed above her head, she sighed in a way that sounded
relieved
.  No woman had ever held him so securely.

“Just like this.  Stay with me, Ezra.  I’m so tired…so tired.” 

Seconds later, he knew Madeline was asleep. He also knew he was irrevocably in love with every aspect of the woman in his arms.  What he was going to do about it, he had no idea.

Everything about her calmed him, soothed a part of him that ached without relief, and he quickly dropped to sleep.  It was the deepest, most peaceful sleep of his life.

* * * * *

Hours later, Madeline opened her eyes as her body instinctively hugged Ezra firmly.  He lifted his head to stare down at her and she traced his face. 

How she loved him.

“Thank you.”

“For what, Madeline?”

“Being who you are, knowing how to settle my mind without even trying.”

Going up on his forearms, he held her head in his palms.  “You’re frightened?”  She nodded and he kissed her for a long time.  When he broke it, he stared at her as his fingers massaged her scalp. 

“You are a brilliant and talented woman, Madeline.  I’ve been in this business all my life; first with my family and then with my brother.  What you’ve done with the play is genius.  It’s smart, fun, and filled with talented people no one has heard of before…but they will after this show.” 

Tears slipped into her hair and she cursed them silently.

“You have to
believe
in what you’ve created, with every part of yourself.  You have to dare the world to question it, dare them not to believe as strongly as you believe.  This play will be a success.  Your dream will be fulfilled.”

“It isn’t my dream, Ezra.”  His eyes went wide.  “It’s only a stepping stone to my dream.  The most important but it’s no more than that.”

“What’s your dream?”  Gazing at her, he didn’t blink.  “Tell me, Madeline.”

“Ask me again after the show opens.  Will you do that?”  He nodded.  “I can’t…I don’t want to risk so much.  Not yet.  Do you understand?”

“You risk
nothing
with me, Linn but I’ll ask again after you open.”  His body rocked into hers and she gasped.  He grimaced as he kissed her face, pulled out, and went to dispose of the condom. 

She was shocked when he ripped open another, rolled it over a cock that was hardening again, and returned between her legs.  He never looked away as he worked himself deep and stilled. 

“Right now, the only thought in my head, pounding steadily through my veins, is making love to you again, Madeline.  Watching you, feeling you, listening to you as I forget the world outside this room.”

“Yes.”

It was late afternoon when they dressed and went to eat.  She wanted him to come home with her but she didn’t ask.  She thought he wanted to come home with her but he didn’t say.  After a long kiss at the door of her building, he returned to the cab and waited for her to get safely inside.  She watched from the foyer as he drove away.

When he was out of sight, she rubbed her hand over her heart and went upstairs.  The apartment she shared with her sister was quiet and she took a long bath.  She was sore after her hours with Ezra. 

Every cell inside her body wanted him with her, wanted him touching her, fucking her.  There would never be enough of him.