Back to the Drawing Board (20 page)

“Carter,” Julia rested her hand on my arm. “Thank you for telling me all that. I know that wasn’t easy. Don’t you think that if your parents can get past all that happened to them that you can, too?”

It was something my parents and my therapists said often. “I know I should. That doesn’t mean I can, though.”

“Do you still talk to Ronan?”

“Sometimes. He wants a relationship with me, but it’s so hard for me to hear his voice or look at him.”

“Do you think he loves you?”

“He loves me as much as Ronan Collier is capable of love. Now that I see my parents together, I know what real love looks like. Real love isn’t selfish and self-serving, Julia. That’s all Ronan showed me: that being the best at your job is love, that money is love, and indirectly, he showed me that lying to get what you wanted is acceptable. His thinking is that as long as it gets you where you want, it’s okay. I’ve always dreamed of having this career, and though I know it’s okay to be driven, Blake has shown me a different side to being a career man. He has a successful business, but his family is still more important.”

Julia was quiet, too quiet. Did I say something wrong? That was the most I’d ever told anyone other than Hayden.

“I want to spend time with you,” she said. I was confused. That was all she was going to say to all of that? “You’re going to come tonight, right?”

“Yes,” I answered. “I told you I would. I’m just going to shower. How about I come pick you up this time?”

She smiled. “I’d like that. Let’s talk more later, okay? Maybe we can hang out afterward, just us.” Julia brushed her lips against my cheek, effectively dismissing me.

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way,” I said, hopping out and grabbing my cooler. I walked into my building, feeling both exhilarated at having told her something about me and scared at the way she’d kind of turned off afterwards.

CARTER PICKED ME UP IN
a hot red Camaro, obviously restored since it was definitely an older model. I made a note to ask him about that later. It took everything in me not to jump on him and ask him to stay at my place instead of going out with my friends. But I wasn’t sure we were yet at that place, or how that would’ve been received.

I was grateful for the information he gave me earlier. It was the most he had shared with me yet. It helped me understand a lot about why he thought the way he did, and why he continued to push me away. I knew I was putting myself in danger of a huge heartbreak, but I wanted to keep pushing him. I felt like I was so close to breaking through his tough exterior. I knew Tracey would have a field day with that. Johnny too. Was I being dumb? I wasn’t sure.

“Let’s play a game,” I said, breaking the silence. “A quick one. We’re only a few minutes away from the restaurant.”

“Never Have I Ever again?”

“Nope. Let’s do a short version of Twenty Questions. Like, two questions. We can resume later.”

“Tell me the rules.”

“We get to ask each other any two questions, and we have to answer them.”

Carter cleared his throat, looking over at me. “Sounds . . . interesting.”

“You start,” I said. I
wanted
him to get personal.

“You’re putting me on the spot,” he laughed.

“That’s the point.”

“Okay. . . . have you had a serious boyfriend before?”

I furrowed my brow.
That’s
what he wanted to know? “Yes. In high school. We broke up after our first year of college and I haven’t talked to him since. His name was Scott.”

A look I didn’t understand passed over his face. “He was your only boyfriend? Like, ever?”

“That’s what you want for your second question? It’ll be my turn next.”

He nodded, so I continued. “He’s been the only . . . serious boyfriend. Since him, I frankly haven’t had the time or the desire to have a boyfriend. I’ve gone out with guys, but that’s it. Nothing serious.” I didn’t think I wanted to get into the details of all of that, so I was glad it was his last question.

“My turn. First, where did you get this hot car?”

He laughed. “My dad and I restored it. It’s a ’69 Camaro SS. It took us most of the last few years to perfect it. He’s a mechanic, and I didn’t grow up knowing anything at all about cars, so it was a great way for us to bond. I found out that I love restoring old cars, and driving them. And having hot girls in them.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and we both laughed. I loved that he was lightening up with me. Now it was time to get more serious.

“Okay, my next question is . . . if you could remember
one
thing about that night that we can’t remember, what would it be and why?”

Carter coughed. “Whoa,” he said. “You don’t mess around.” We hadn’t discussed ‘that night’ since right after we both realized we couldn’t remember. “I . . . Julia. Wow. I’m not sure how to answer that.”

“Truthfully,” I said. I loved making him uncomfortable.

“I wish I could remember touching you,” he said, the deepness of his voice tickling all through my body. “Everywhere.” It felt like he just had touched me, everywhere. I squirmed in my seat, almost wishing I hadn’t asked. Now I
really
wanted to attack him.

When I didn’t answer, he looked over at me. I smiled, reaching out and touching the scruff on his face, my favorite thing to do. “Wow is right,” I said quietly. “I wish I could remember that, too.” We looked at each other until the car behind us honked their horn.

“One more,” I said, seeing the restaurant down the block. “Do you want to come home with me tonight?” Tracey was going to kill me. I signaled for Carter to pull over to park, and he sat, looking out the window at the street in front of us. The air crackled with tension. The same feeling I’d had at the Williamson’s house earlier blanketed my body. I wanted him. Now.

Just before I was going to let him off the hook and relieve him of having to answer, he turned and grabbed me, pulling me across the console. “Julia,” he growled into my neck, pressing kisses along the soft skin behind my ear. His scruff rubbed the skin of my neck, and I closed my eyes, my pulse racing. “That was three questions. It was only supposed to be two. You’re
killing
me.” I didn’t even get time to respond to that before he took my mouth, picking right back up where we’d been hours before when Colby interrupted us.

I whimpered at his fervor, his mouth consuming mine. He breathed heavily as he gripped my face, taking what he wanted. I fought the temptation to crawl completely in his lap and take care of the ache growing faster by the second. Did this mean that he wanted to come home with me? I still couldn’t believe I’d asked that, but while I was on a roll, I had to keep going.

“Do we have to be here?” Carter whispered against my lips. At first I was confused by what he meant, my head still reeling from the way he kissed.

“Is that an answer to my question?” I whispered back, looking into his eyes. He wasn’t getting an out. If he wanted me this time, he was going to tell me.

“Damn, Julia. You’re something else. I want nothing more than to squeal my tires out of here right now and use this powerful engine to be at your apartment in record time and peel all those clothes off of you. I want to taste every last square inch of your body, all night long. How about
that
for an answer?”

I sat back, my mouth open in surprise. He laughed, leaning over and kissing my open mouth. I had no response because he’d successfully shocked it out of me.

Carter got out of the car and came around to my side, helping me out. I still couldn’t speak. He pressed me against the door, his hands finding the edge of the skirt I’d worn. His fingertips skated along the skin just under my skirt, and I sucked in a breath.

“I’m going to remember
everything
this time,” he growled, licking the edge of my ear before sucking my lobe into his mouth. My knees buckled and he put his leg in between mine, holding me up against the car.

“Carter,” I groaned, knowing we were in a public place right now.

“You knew what you were doing, asking that question,” he moved over to the other ear. “Now you got your answer, didn’t you? Did you get more than you bargained for?” Oh, Carter was trying to beat me at my own game.

“You didn’t answer me,” I said, lifting my head.

“I bet if I touched you right now, you’d be dripping,” he whispered as an answer. “Do you feel me, Julia? You’ve been doing this to me all day.”

Uh, yes, I felt him. “We . . . we should go in.”

He laughed, running his hands down my sides before grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers with mine. He led me across the street to the restaurant, my legs shaky. Carter opened the door and waited for me to go in. As I walked past him, he winked at me. “Just in case you didn’t get that, it was a yes. A
hell yes.
”

Now I had to sit here for the next few hours and try to talk to my friends. How was I supposed to do that?

“What is going on with you two now?” Tracey picked up her drink, looking across the room at Carter. He was playing pool with a few of the guys that met us here. “Because I was feeling some
major
sexual tension when you walked in here tonight.”

“You
must
fill us in on this hottie.” My friends Bailey and Jennie sat forward, both of their gazes switching from me, to Carter, and back again. “When he walked in with you, I almost fell off my stool.”

I laughed. I’d seen the looks on their faces when he shook their hands.

“I’d say I claim him, but I think that claim’s already been made,” Bailey said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Definitely,” Jennie said. “Now spill it. We’ve known you a long time, Jules, and we haven’t seen this look on your face before.”

“Carter is her new
intern
,” Tracey said, fanning her face with her hand.

Bailey and Jennie’s eyes both widened. “Reallllly,” Bailey said. “Isn’t
that
interesting.”

“You can tell them all about that in a minute. Tell me how today went,” Tracey said.

I looked over at Carter again, who caught my eye and waved. He was apparently killing the game of pool because Ethan was slapping him on the back. The few guys Tracey had invited all cheered. Carter made friends so easily.

“Carter volunteered with me at Colorado Cares,” I explained to Bailey and Jennie. “Colby put us on the Williamson’s house, that family I told you about. We met with the family and then we started painting. Carter connected with the little boy of the family and decided to work on his room.”

“Get to the good stuff, because I know there’s more than that,” Tracey interrupted.

“Patience,” I laughed. “He came in while I was painting and scared me to death. I was . . . uh . . . dancing to my phone. Carrie Underwood. After that, we had a moment . . .”

“You kissed?”

“You could say that,” I said, my face flaming again. I thought about the car scene just an hour ago, right outside this restaurant.

“Uh oh, she just went into la-la land again,” Tracey said. “Girl, spill it.”

I leaned over so all three girls could hear me. “He wants to come home with me tonight. I asked him.”

They all gasped, and Tracey sat back, her arms crossed in front of her. “Julia . . .”

“I know, I know,” I said, holding up my hands. “I know what you said, Tracey. I also know what happened between us today was huge. I can’t get into everything, because he finally divulged some important information to me. I get it, Trace. I’m getting through to him, though.”