Baby Blues and Wedding Shoes (47 page)

Helen had worried that Daniel would
know more of the law than she did; would have consulted Mike, and
start quoting acts and cases in defence of his argument. Instead it
seemed he could only repeat the same words as before. “I have a
right to have access to my children. You can’t deny me.”

“Oh, I think I just did.” Time enough
to find out exactly where she stood legally. For now it was enough
to let him know he had a fight on his hands. She took a deep
breath. “When you have learnt to be a better man, we can talk about
access rights. I won’t deny the children their biological father,
when he is worthy of the honour. Until then Marcio is all the
father they need and more. Please don’t contact me again.”

She hung up the phone, her hands
trembling so hard she nearly dropped it. She was sure that wasn’t
the end of it, but she hoped it had bought them some breathing
space. Now all she needed to do was put her other idea into action,
and they would all be more secure.

Marcio was standing in the doorway,
where he had been unobtrusively listening, to make sure Helen was
okay.

He came over now and wrapped his arms
around her, talking into her hair. He could feel the tremors still
running through her body. “I’m so proud of you. That can’t have
been easy.”

Helen clung onto Marcio, her rock in a
choppy sea, and felt as if the whole horrible nightmare of the
previous weeks had dissipated. It was still there, but in her
memory, like a scary movie she had watched that left echoes but no
scars.

“It’s not over. Daniel won’t give
up.”

Marcio’s response was to hold her
tighter, nuzzling into her warm hair. “We will fight him together,
and we
will
win. I love you so much. Please, don’t ever shut
me out again.”

Chapter
Twenty-Two

“Do you think your mum might be able to
take James and Jasmine for the morning tomorrow?”

It was late evening and Helen and
Marcio were curled around each other in bed, enjoying a brief hug
while the twins were both asleep. They had been in Devon several
days and had fallen into a routine of sorts, with Marcio writing
while the twins slept, helping Helen when they were awake.

Helen turned her head slightly so her
voice wouldn’t disturb the sleeping babies.

“Why?”

“I want to take you somewhere; it would
be nice to go just the two of us.”

Trying to wake up enough to tune in to
Marcio’s words, Helen felt a glimmer of intrigue. Where did Marcio
know in Devon to take her?

“Where do you want to go? We don’t have
a car.”

“We’ll have to have a lift to the
station, will your dad mind?”

“Probably not, but you still haven’t
answered my question.”

“I know.”

Helen could tell that Marcio was
grinning in the dark. It made her smile. It felt so long since they
had laughed together.

“You tease! Tell me!”

“Shhh you’ll wake the twins.”

“Tell me!” She hissed.

“Then it wouldn’t be a surprise. So,
will you ask your mum?”

“You should ask her. She’ll do anything
for you.”

“Okay, I will.”

“Right. That’s sorted then. Now shush.
I’ll be feeding in two hours, I want some sleep!”

“Let me take the first shift. I’ll give
them a bottle if you like.”

“If you wake before I do, you’re
on!”

It was exciting catching a train with
Marcio, with no idea where they were going. He had made her stand
with her back to the machine when he bought the tickets and had
covered her eyes when they’d boarded the train.

“Where are we going?”

“That’s the tenth time you’ve asked
this morning.” Marcio grinned.

“Well, tell me, and I’ll stop
asking.”

“Are you always this bad at surprises?
I thought you were bad on your birthday, but this is
ridiculous.”

“Sorry, but
that
was
ridiculous.” She smiled at the memory. “I must have crossed half of
London with my eyes closed. It’s a wonder I didn’t break my
ankle.”

“Come on, it was worth it, wasn’t it?
Besides, everyone loves surprises.”

“Not me. Not since the biggest surprise
in my life was falling pregnant and getting dumped.”

Marcio was pleased Helen could refer to
it without tears. She rarely talked about Daniel or their past
together, for fear of upsetting him. It seemed at last he could be
confident she had no intention of running back to her former
fiancée. The relief was like a drug.

“I’m afraid this isn’t quite as big a
surprise at that; though possibly as life changing.”

“Ooh really?” Helen paused. She wasn’t
sure she wanted her life changing any more. It was too
exhausting.

Marcio noted the trepidation in Helen’s
face and felt a similar emotion. Was he doing the right thing?
Particularly to have come so far without discussing it with Helen.
It wasn’t too late to say no, but he knew in his heart of hearts he
didn’t want to. It was perfect.

The train journey took an hour, and as
they neared their destination Marcio’s nerves grew, until he felt
like a snake was writhing in his stomach.

“We get off here.”

“Bristol? What’s in Bristol?”

“You’ll see.”

“This is where you’ve been working, is
it to do with your assignment?”

“Yes, in a way.”

“I haven’t got my camera, did you want
pictures?”

“No, nothing like that.”

Marcio took Helen’s hand and led her to
the taxi rank. There was a train to their destination, but today he
wanted it to be as seamless as possible.

“Drop us here please driver,” Marcio
called as they pulled into a residential street.

“You want to show me a house? Why?”

Helen was starting to feel nervous. Was
Marcio trying to tell her he was leaving her, that he had a new
life, a new house? Surely he wouldn’t tell her this way. What else
did he mean?

“I’ll tell you when we’re inside.”

Marcio led Helen up to the front door
of an imposing semi with a lovely garden. In the garden two young
children played on a slide, despite the cold March weather.

Helen heard footsteps and when the door
opened saw the face of a young woman, who smiled when she saw who
was on the doorstep. Helen’s heart jumped into her throat and her
blood pounded in her temples.

“Marcio, you came, fabulous. And this
must be Helen.” She looked behind Marcio, before adding, “No
twins?”

“No, we left the twins with
Grandma.”

“Oh, shame, Sally and Lucy would love
to have cooed over them. Still, probably as well. They’re
enthusiastic but not that gentle.” She smiled fondly at the girls
playing in the garden, then gestured for Helen and Marcio to come
into the house.

As she preceded the strange woman into
her kitchen, Helen was aware that Marcio was whispering something
to her. She strained her ears but couldn’t hear what he said, just
the woman’s response.

“Ah, okay, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll
be in the laundry. There’s tea in the pot, help yourself.”

Helen bristled at the realisation that
Marcio clearly knew his way around this woman’s house. How many
times had he been here, and who was this woman anyway? Some
surprise!

Marcio caught sight of Helen’s face as
he led her into the kitchen and quaked inwardly as he helped her to
a seat at the large family table that dominated the room.

Helen looked around, her face stony. It
was a lovely family room, full of the clutter of children, as well
as piles of books and paperwork. It didn’t seem the place for a
seduction, never mind the fact that Marcio would hardly bring her
here if he’d been having an affair. She couldn’t imagine any other
explanation however, so sat silently waiting for Marcio to fill her
in.

“You must be wondering why we’re
here.”

“Yes.”

Marcio took a breath. “I haven’t been
entirely honest with you.”

“Hmmm.” Helen looked around the room,
avoiding Marcio’s eyes.

“I have been coming to Bristol about
work, but not for an assignment. When I came overnight it was for a
job interview.”

Helen looked at Marcio then, surprise
etched on her face.

“What job?”

“Susan’s job.”

“Who is Susan?” She could guess, of
course, but she didn’t feel like making this easy for Marcio.

“Oh god, I really am making a mess of
this aren’t I? I didn’t even introduce you. This is Susan’s house.
She lives here with her husband and her two girls, but her husband
has been offered a new position in Edinburgh and they’ve decided to
go. Because I have applied for Susan’s job, if I take it, we can
take the house too. Would you like to live here?”

Helen looked around the cluttered
kitchen, through the window to the garden where the children were
still playing. She could hear Susan in the utility room, humming as
she folded laundry. It was a proper house; it felt like home, even
more so than her lovely apartment. Yes, she could live here. Her
mind raced with questions.

“What job? What about our flat? We’re
contracted for six months. What about your writing? And
Daniel?”

Marcio laughed, “Hang on, one thing at
a time!” He walked over from where he had been making tea, and put
two mugs on the table. Taking a seat next to Helen, he slid one
steaming mug across to her, and turned to face her, ready to answer
her questions.

“Okay, what’s the job?”

“English lecturer at the
university.”

“Are you qualified?” Helen sounded
sceptical.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence!”
Marcio laughed. “Yes, actually. They’re confident that my writing
experience, together with my knowledge of English Literature,
allows me to fill Susan’s shoes. She works part-time teaching
undergraduates. I’ll need to complete my PhD but I can do that
while I’m here. To be honest, because she’s leaving mid-term, I
don’t think they had many applicants.” Marcio shrugged.

Helen’s head whirled with thoughts.
“And the flat? Your writing?”

“I had a chat with Muriel; she said she
wouldn’t mind as long as we found a replacement, which shouldn’t be
too hard. I can still do some writing for the magazine, but I’ve
built up a back-catalogue of articles anyway. That’s why I’ve been
working so hard recently. And I can work more on my novels now, in
the school holidays. We could go to Spain for the summer, take the
boat out.” He looked eagerly at Helen, scared to breathe.

His face was so much like a schoolboy,
waiting to see if he was to be praised or punished, Helen’s heart
melted.

“Oh, darling, I don’t know what to
say.”

“Say you’ll at least think about
it?”

“Of course I’ll think about it. But,
leaving London, my friends, it’ll be hard.”

“Bristol has ‘comfort, coffee shops and
culture.’” Helen laughed as Marcio repeated verbatim her words from
so long ago.

“And your mum is only an hour away by
train. There’s a station in walking distance from here.” Marcio
added, as if presenting his trump card. He judged it was time to
let Helen think, so rose and went over to the pot to pour more
tea.

Helen sat quietly while Marcio refilled
their mugs. It
was
enticing. To have a proper house, to be
near her mother. To have Marcio working a normal job, with long
holidays. She couldn’t really see the catch. Even leaving her
friends didn’t seem so bad. Dawn was off with John anyway, and Ben
and Sharni were clearly going to make a go of it, even if they
hadn’t realised it yet. She could make new friends. Maybe she could
even find a new photography group; there must be one at the
university. When the twins were a bit older she could even find a
job, help pay the bills. Away from London she could shrug off the
shadow of her former connections; not just Daniel, but Maria and
Sara and all her other former colleagues who had been only too
happy to revel in her misfortune.

Marcio returned with fresh tea and sat
quietly next to Helen, waiting for her to speak.

“What about Daniel? He isn’t going to
give up without a fight, and we may give him extra ammunition if we
leave London. Besides…”

Marcio turned to face her, worried at
her hesitation. Did she still want to see him?

“He still needs to be able to see the
twins. Despite everything I said, I won’t deny them access to their
father, if he wants it.”

“It’s only a 2-hour drive from London.
He is… welcome here.” The words nearly stuck in his throat but they
had to be said.

“Thank you.” Helen’s voice was low.

“Just so long as he’s not too welcome.”
He raised an eyebrow.

“He is nothing to me, Marci, you have
to believe that.”

Marcio put down his mug and took
Helen’s hands.

“I want to believe it. Listening to you
on the phone the other night I could believe it. But he has so much
more to offer, I could understand if you would rather be with him.
I would hate it, but I could understand.”

“Marcio, you’re being silly. I want to
be with you. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

She leant forwards and kissed him,
gently at first, then deeper. He reached across and twisted his
fingers into her hair, pulling her into an embrace. For the first
time since the twins were born Helen felt a glimmer of heat, and
welcomed the feeling. Marcio wasn’t just her best friend; she still
burned for him. It might be a while before her body was ready, but
to know her mind was willing was the last question answered.

“Yes.” She whispered the word into his
kiss.

“Yes?” He pulled away, confused for a
moment.

“Yes, we can come to Bristol. I would
go to the end of the world with you.”

“It might not be London, but it’s
hardly the end of the world.” Marcio’s laughter hid his relief. The
thought of losing Helen and the twins still seared hot within
him.