Away From the Sun (28 page)

I sit and stare at him, completely baffled. A flood of thoughts pass by my mind, not least of all the thought of my own views about the virus. For the past three years I’ve been thinking that it was good for humanity in some way or another. But now that I am sitting face-to-face with the man that created it—my father—I feel sickened by the thought. Ashamed. To be related to the person that brought humanity to its knees makes me feel like I am the child of the devil.
 

“What happened then?” I ask.
 

“By the time I had concluded extensive research on rats, Olivia had the man kidnapped and brought to my lab. She insisted that I do the lab work side-by-side with a non-Starborn human, so I recruited a girl named Willow to help me.”

“Recruited?”

“She was one of my brightest students, but I fed her lies about how we were going to change the face of humanity by providing immortality to all. I made it seem like the man had given himself willingly. She didn’t know she was going to be the first human test subject for the grey cell virus until she got to my lab.”

I shake my head. “I don’t understand how you could be so cruel. So…callous. You were truly a terrible father, but I never took you for a cold-blooded killer.”

“You don’t know your mother,” he says. “She has a captivating spirit. The things she promised, the plans she has had…it all really makes you look beyond the moment. Olivia fueled a passion within me that made me look beyond the murderous actions. But by the moment I injected Willow and the Starborn with the new virus, I was too far gone.”

“Too far gone?” I ask.
 

He nods. “There was no turning back after that. I had done the worst. All I had left was to move forward. But that was when everything got out of hand. I took a break, and left the building for only a few minutes. When I got back, Willow had escaped from the guards I left behind. She carried the virus within her. In a scuffle with the guards, all the rats that I had been testing got out. I killed the guards and the Starborn man came after me. I shot him, but not before he bit me.”

“He bit you?”

My father pulls off his jacket and lifts a sleeve up to his shoulder. A row of teeth marks scar him.
 

“But he was carrying the virus,” I say.
 

“And so am I,” he answers.
 

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to react. It doesn’t make any sense to me. “Then how are you still alive?”

“The same reason you have the ability to control minds,” he answers. “The Starborn’s power of long life was passed to me. But so was the virus. I sit before you a living, but rotting body. I never died, but I live with the effects.” He lifts his cigar in the air. “I hate these things, but what else am I supposed to do? It covers up the smell of rot and decay. I figure someday I’m going to have to raid some cologne stores.” He attempts a laugh, but it is forced and awkward.
 

“So, you’re just going to rot until there is nothing left of you?”

“I can replenish myself to an extent,” he says. “I don’t really know how to tell you this without just saying it, but I have a desire to eat. Not food. Nothing from a box or a can. But I need blood. Fresh blood. It’s an uncontrollable desire, that, I’m afraid, gets the best of me sometimes.”

“You’re a cannibal?”

“Worse,” he says. “I’m a greyskin.”

I don’t know how long the silence rests between us. I stand from the chair and start pacing the room, trying to let the thoughts process. There have been plenty of times where my father has broken from the group to be alone for a few days. It makes me wonder if he was out looking for victims to eat.

I want to kill him. I want to take a knife and stab it into his brain. He is a monster. But I can’t just do that. He
is
my father. Despite his horrible attempt at raising me, he
did
provide for me my entire life. I got an education. I got the food I needed. In a way, he was always there for me. In a way, I love him for it. In another way, I hate him and wish he hadn’t tried to take care of me. I don’t want to believe that he is what he claims. And it has to be the truth doesn’t it? I’m forcing him to tell me everything. He isn’t telling me this willingly.
 

I turn toward him and swallow. “Why are you trying to kill Olivia?”

“Because of her plans,” he says. “Because she has this elaborate network that she is creating. She brought the world into a pit only so she could rise out of it and have everyone follow her. She has been planning this from the beginning.”

“And you want to stop her from gaining power?”

“Yes.”

“So the world can rebuild as it should?” I ask.

“No.”

“Why then?”

“Because she doesn’t want to share it with
me
. I provided the way. The least she can do is make me a part of it. After the outbreak, she and I went back to the lab to get the blood—the blood you drank. I assume her plan was to hide it away somewhere safe until she wanted to use it. When we got it, she abandoned me. She wanted nothing to do with me. But I knew her plan, and I was going to take it from her.”

“And how do you expect to do that?”

“She is Shadowface to everyone else,” he says. “There are few that actually know who she is. And I know that she’s planning a big reveal sometime in the future.”

“How do you know?”

“Because it was part of the plan! She would stay in the shadows until the network got so big. Then, once so many places relied on her, she would reveal herself as this all-sufficient savior of the people. They would love her for everything she has done.”

“So, why the Shadowface? Why the secrecy to begin with?”

“Because she can work better that way. If no one knows who she is, then she won’t be assassinated by someone else that wants power.”

“Except by you,” I say.
 

“Yes.”

“So, why did she need the blood?”

“To force the leaders who resisted,” he says. “But she has always been afraid of the possible effects of ingesting Starborn blood. She could die.
You
could die from it.”

I ignore his attempt to scare me. I don’t feel sick or weakened. I feel indestructible. I stare at him, seeing him in a completely different way. I already hated him, but I could respect what I thought he stood for. Now, I loathe him.
 

“You betrayed me,” I say. “All this time I’ve been following you around, trying to take down someone that wanted power. While all this time, I should have taken you down as well.
Both
of you deserve to die!” I say this a little too loudly and I can’t help but look toward the door, wondering if someone might have heard me. But should I care? Maybe I should announce to the whole world that the only reason everyone is fighting is because my father wants to take down Shadowface.

“Innocent people are caught in the wake of your rivalry,” I say.
 

“Don’t stand there and condemn me, pretending that you don’t think these people deserve every bit of what they are getting,” he says hotly. “I know your view of life. I know your cynicism. But it just got real. You don’t know how to handle it, so you default to heroism. You look down on me for something you once praised.”

“You’re wrong,” I say.
 

“I’ve heard the words come out of your mouth,” he says. “You’ve said that you think the outbreak was good for humanity so they can be brought back to a truly human existence. Mankind was living in dreamlands, chasing after wealth and power, forgetting about their neighbor. A completely self-serving society, I believe you called it.”

“I praised the idea,” I say, “not the actual event. I lost people to the virus, too.”

My father shakes his head with a clenched jaw as he puts out his cigar on the desk. “You’re a hypocrite.”

“And you’re a liar!” My heart is beating fast and I can feel my limbs start to tense. If I don’t get out of here quickly, I’m going to lose it.
 

My world is falling apart. Ashley is dying, my father is a greyskin, and my mother is Shadowface. I hate my parents for bringing this on me. I hate the Starborns for bringing this on me. I wish they were all dead.
 

I storm to the door and swing it open.
 

“Where are you going?” my father asks.
 

I stop for a moment, wondering if I should actually answer him. I never want to see him again. I never want to speak to him. It would only take a few words. All I would have to say is
‘shoot yourself in the head’
and it would be over.
 

“Ashley has been shot,” I say. “I’m going to find her and try to save her.”

Ethan and I weren’t bothered through the cold night as we lay on the rooftop. I didn’t sleep because I was too nervous about someone coming up and finding us. I thought for sure that Shadowface’s men would be using the building but it never happened. We spent most of the night in silence, watching the stars above us, trying not to listen to the occasional burst of fire down below. We both knew it was only a matter of time before Shadowface took over the whole town. We talked some about stealing a vehicle and trying to escape, but there was no attempting that at night. There were greyskins all over the place, not to mention if we were caught, we would likely be killed by Shadowface’s men.
 

It was about midnight when I started shivering. Ethan suggested that we go back inside, but I didn’t want to. For some reason, I felt that being out in the open air was safer. I don’t know if it made any sense, but it worked out anyway. Ethan sat close to me and let me rest in his arms for the remainder of the night. It was warmer and it was nice to feel some security. When dawn broke, I didn’t even know I had fallen asleep, and when I moved my head, I think I woke Ethan.
 

I look over the ledge and can see Shadowface’s men camped out in the streets, guards ready to take down any resistance. No doubt Stephen and the others are planning a final wave of attacks, and I’m sure Samuel is expecting as much. The rockets and guns that Mitch and Ashley brought have served Elkhorn well, but I’m afraid it’s not going to be enough.

“How many of Shadowface’s soldiers do you think are down there?” I ask whenever Ethan crouches beside me.
 

“I’d say at least two hundred or more.”

It will do me no good to rehash how angry it makes me that we are concentrating on fighting each other rather than trying to kill off all the greyskins. However, the idea rushes through me anyway, and I try to shake it away. My rumbling stomach breaks into my thoughts and I remember seeing a small kitchen in an office just below us.

“What would you say to a warm cup of coffee?” I ask him.
 

“I’ve never been much of a coffee drinker,” he says, “but right now I can think of nothing better. Why? You know where some is?”

“I saw a kitchen on our way up here yesterday. It’s just one floor down. Office buildings always have coffee.”

“Is there a way to make it?” he asks. “This place doesn’t seem to have electricity.”

I shrug. “There was a gas stove and I think the water runs fine in Elkhorn. I can’t promise it will be the best coffee if I happen to find some.”

“I’ll come with you,” he says.
 

“No,” I say. “You keep a watch and make sure no one comes into the building. I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry.”

He looks over the side for a moment and nods. “Try not to take too long. I don’t want to have to come looking for you because you got lost looking for coffee.”

I smile and squeeze his hand as I start walking toward the door leading down into the building. I don’t know why, but ever since we kissed, I’ve been able to touch Ethan without seeing a vision of the future. For the first time, I’m starting to feel some control over this power, and it’s refreshing.
 

The hallways and rooms are dark and dusty. This building obviously hasn’t been used for a long time, so I’m starting to rethink my decision to come down here at all. But the warmth of the drink will be nice. It’s stuff like coffee that lets us forget the world we currently live in, if even for just a few minutes. I guess right now isn’t the time to forget, given there are deadly soldiers and greyskins crawling through the city, but I feel good this morning. The futures that I want to happen are happening. And for the first time, I’m starting to enjoy the gift of being a Starborn. To know a part of the future and be able to choose which I prefer is…nice.
 

Though I’m not glad I had to do it, I shot Ashley, so there isn’t a chance that she’s going to take us to Samuel and let him kill her. Perhaps I’m still happy about my time with Ethan, because I know I’m not taking into account all the other futures that I don’t know about—like my sister’s. I want to know why she was crying about giving up Evie to a stranger. My sister and Evie barely know each other from what I understand.

I finally make my way to the kitchen. I rummage through the cabinets for a few minutes and smile when I find an unopened can of coffee grounds. When I pull off the lid and peel back the seal, the rich aroma hits my nostrils, and memories of Hattie fill my mind. One of the first things she always did when she came over to my house was fix a pot of coffee. Sometimes, she’d pour me a cup. Of course, back then my mug would be filled with cream and sugar, which, I can’t find in here. Black it is, but it will do.

I turn on the faucet at the sink and it comes out slowly. I have no idea if the water is still safe to drink, but surely boiling it will be fine. I find a pot in a cabinet underneath and fill it with the water in question. I then set it on the gas stove and begin the slow boil. I let out a sigh and watch the blue flame as it heats the pot. It feels good to be doing something normal like making coffee. Of course, boiling water and pouring coffee grounds into a pot isn’t quite the normal way, but it will have to do.
 

I can’t help but wonder if this small conflict will be the end of it. Whether Shadowface wins or not, I don’t think it really matters for me. All I really have to do is get away and keep traveling until I am beyond Shadowface’s reach. We are such a small dot on a very large map. Somewhere out there is a place for all of us to start over. I want to go there. With Ethan. With my sister. With anyone that only wishes to be free.