Awakenings - SF1 (84 page)

She leaned in closer as her eyes bore into Ryan's with a fierce intensity. "I'm absolutely certain about this and I want to move forward and build a life with you. But our friendship means more to me than anything, and if that's all you can offer, I can live with that."

Ryan squeezed her hands tightly and whispered, "You have no idea how I've prayed for this. I know I told you that I'd be fine if you decided that you were straight, but I was lying--to myself and to you. I've thought of nothing else since you told me that you were attracted to me and when you went back to Jack I didn't know how I would survive. And the worst part was that I had to support your choice even though it was ripping my heart out." She let herself shed the tears that she had been forced to conceal from her friend, relishing the soft embrace that Jamie now offered.

She sniffed as she continued, "Every night when I say my prayers I ask for the chance to love you like you deserve to be loved." A shiver ran down her body as she took in a deep breath, closed her eyes tightly and pledged, "I offer much more than my friendship, Jamie. I offer you everything that I am and everything that I can become. I want to give myself to you, totally, completely, and eternally."

Jamie gazed at her with every tender emotion she felt clearly displayed in her eyes. "I love you completely, Ryan, and I want to be with you." She leaned close and said even more quietly, "Emotionally, spiritually..." Here she leaned over until she was right next to Ryan's ear as she whispered "and physically."

Ryan's heart was pounding so loudly that she was certain Jamie could hear it. She removed the graceful hand that covered her cheek and she slowly turned it until it was right before her lips. She closed her eyes and kissed the palm reverently. She placed kiss after kiss on the small hand as she slowly nodded her head in acceptance of the offer placed before her. Her eyes remained closed the whole while and Jamie could see the first small tear slide down that beautiful face as she rose to her knees and felt Ryan do the same.

She lifted her hands to rest on the smooth planes of Ryan's face. She used her thumbs to tenderly trace over the dark brows, across the prominent cheekbones, down the strong line of her jaw, finally finding the soft, warm lips. One lucky thumb continued the task, softly moving over her moist lips, as they slowly opened to envelope the thumb in their warm wetness.

A jolt of sensation shot up and down Jamie's spine with a force so great that she felt dizzy. But Ryan stayed right where she was, waiting for Jamie to proceed as she felt comfortable. It took her a few seconds to gather herself but she finally was able to move forward. She took in as deep a breath as she could manage and cradled Ryan's face in both of her hands. Tilting her head just an inch she leaned forward and captured those incredibly soft lips without hesitation.

A tiny moan escaped from Ryan as Jamie's mouth sealed hers with the promise of her love.

Their arms slid around one another's waists as their lips came together again. The kisses were slow and soft and gentle but unceasing. There was a great depth of emotion behind each tender kiss, but they did not vary in their intensity. These were not the passionate kisses of lovers about to consummate their union; rather, this was the first stirring of promises to come. Knowing there would be plenty of time to explore in depth, they reveled in the first tender meeting of warm mouths.

Jamie placed her hands on either side of Ryan's face and delicately kissed each closed eyelid, chasing each tear away. "I love you, Ryan. I love you so much," she said as she kissed the tender lips again and again.

Ryan's eyes fluttered open and she gazed at Jamie with a depth of emotion that she had never before felt, "I love you too, Jamie. I do, I swear I do," she whispered fiercely as she drew her into a forceful hug.

They remained just as they were for a seemingly endless time. They alternated soft kisses with warm tender embraces, occasionally shedding a tear or two at the overpowering feeling generated by their bond. As the sun began to slip into the sea the boulder provided warmth to their entwined bodies. But as the chill in the air began to overtake even this heat they reluctantly parted. "I don't ever want to lose this feeling," Jamie whispered as they gripped each other tightly once last time.

"We can't lose this feeling," Ryan said firmly. "This feeling is just the cornerstone of a lifetime of wonderful moments. It will always be with us, reminding us of how we began. But I promise you, Jamie," she said fiercely as she locked onto her sea green eyes, "this is just the first step of a journey that will take our entire lives to complete. We've just barely begun."

"I'll follow you anywhere, Ryan," she pledged as she lifted her head for several more loving kisses.

But Ryan pulled her head away and gazed at her with a look of pure devotion. "No, Jamie, I don't lead you. We go together," she promised. "Always together."