Awakenings - SF1 (75 page)

"It really is seductive, Ryan. It's so easy for forget how little most people have when you have a lot. You can be so insulated that you just never get in touch with normal people." After a moment she added, "I hope that never happens to me."

"I'll give you a dose of reality anytime, kiddo. I'll show you my bank statement if you really want a shock," she teased.

After their car was taken from them they had just a short walk to the front gates where they saw Conor waiting. He was wearing faded blue jeans; a white golf shirt and an authentic Giants warm up jacket. Black wool with black leather raglan sleeves, with 'Giants' across the chest in bright orange script. "Gee Conor, you really do look like a fan," Jamie said as she gave him a hug.

"I know the opening day roster of every team back to 1976, I'll have you know," he said with a grin. "Did you have a hard time parking? It really is a zoo here," he said.

"No, we didn't have any trouble at all, did we Jamie?" Ryan replied innocently.

"Spill it, Ryan. You never could keep a secret," he said as he wrapped his arm around her waist and began to tickle her.

Through her giggles she admitted that they had driven the new Mercedes to the game. Conor was crestfallen. "I've never been in a CLK," he moaned. "Could I come to the parking lot with you after the game to drool on it?" he begged.

Ryan took pity on her big brother and generously offered, "I'll take your truck home and you can go with Jamie. I know how insidious the addiction is, and I empathize with you, Conor."

He gave her a big kiss on the cheek while he hugged her soundly. "You are my absolutely favorite sister," he enthused.

"Wow!" they heard from behind. They turned to see a startled Mia staring at them in shock. "There's two of her!" she said to Jamie as she walked around the still linked siblings.

"I prefer to think there's two of me," Conor said smoothly as he released his sister and grasped Mia's hand. "You must be Mia. I'm Conor," he said as he shook her hand. Within seconds he was guiding her to their seats, with a strong arm loosely around her shoulders. "Keep up, you two," he said as he turned around slightly to wink at Ryan.

"Boy, are you two ever related," Jamie said as she shook her head at a smirking Ryan.

They had a marvelous time at the game. Their seats were directly behind the Giants dugout, just 4 rows back. Neither O'Flaherty had ever had seats that even came close to the quality of these. Ryan and Jamie sat in front, with Conor and Mia right behind. But Ryan was turned around for most of the game kibitzing with Conor about a particular player or a dubious strategy.

Jamie was impressed with Ryan's knowledge of the game. She seemed to understand the small details that made the game interesting. "I don't see half of the things you notice, Ryan," she admitted when Ryan correctly predicted that the Dodger first baseman would get a hit.

"Well, I used to follow the game very carefully," she admitted. "I could teach you a few things if you're interested."

"I'm very interested," she replied. "Teach away."

Ryan spent the better part of two innings showing Jamie some of the finer points of baseball. "When I see a team that I don't know I always spend some time watching the catcher," she revealed. "I see how he calls the pitches to each hitter and see where he positions himself behind the plate. You can learn a lot just by watching the catcher for an entire inning."

They proceeded to do just that. Jamie had never really noticed how much in control the catcher was. "I never realized he has to run down to first base on a ground ball," she admitted. "He's all over the place."

"Yeah, and he has to cover 3rd base also. It's funny, catchers are usually slow guys with bad knees but they have to run their tails off during a game," she observed.

After the 6th inning Mia and Jamie went to find a restroom. Ryan and Conor went with them to wait in line for more food. When they reached the privacy of the women's room Mia slapped Jamie hard on the shoulder. "Where have you been hiding him?" she shrieked.

"Hey, knock it off," Jamie said as she rubbed her shoulder as she laughed. "I haven't been hiding him anywhere. He's just Ryan's brother."

"Are you sure he's not why you broke up with Jack?" Mia inquired suspiciously.

"I'm sure I didn't break up with Jack at all, Mia," she replied. "And if I had it would not be because of Conor. He is a doll and a real sweetheart, but I'm not interested in him."

"Why wouldn't you be?" she asked incredulously. "He is a total babe!"

"I'm just not," she replied. "Besides she has two other brothers that are just as cute and about a dozen cousins, all good looking, and all unmarried. I wouldn't know where to start," she added with a laugh.

"Well, I do," Mia replied. "I'm starting with Mr. Muscle out there," she said firmly.

"I wish you the best, Mia. But aren't you forgetting someone?" Jamie inquired delicately.

"Who's that?" Mia responded blankly.

"Um...
Jason, your boyfriend?"

"Jason who?" Mia asked innocently as she entered a stall and closed the door behind her.

As promised, Ryan drove the big Ram truck back to the house to allow Conor the pleasure of chauffeuring Jamie in the Mercedes. "This is one sweet ride," he said through his wide smile. He was taking them home via side streets to make the ride last as long as possible. "And speaking of sweet, you friend is quite the little prize," he said appreciatively. "Is she dating anyone seriously?"

"Mia doesn't tend to ever date seriously," Jamie admitted.

"Oooh, a girl after my own heart," he said with a leer. "Would you mind if I asked her out, Jamie?"

"No, Conor, not at all. You'd be a definite improvement over her normal choices," she said with a grin. After a pause she asked thoughtfully, "Have you ever been serious about anyone?"

"Yeah, I have," he responded quietly. "I had a very serious girlfriend for almost 2 years. We were on the verge of moving in together but Da talked me out of it."

"Really, why?" she asked, a bit surprised that Martin would get involved.

"He convinced me that if I loved her I should marry her," he replied. "I'm only going to get married once, Jamie, and after I thought about it for a long time, I realized that I didn't love Melissa enough to commit to her forever." He looked at Jamie as he said, "Da made me see that living with her just took her off the market and prevented her from finding someone who really did love her enough to marry her. I can't tell you how hard it was for me, but he was right. As usual," he added with a laugh. "That was 3 years ago and she got married last year, and is going to have a baby soon."

"Do you want to settle down soon, or are you still enjoying your freedom too much?" she asked.

"If I could find the right woman, I don't think I would hesitate. But I am totally picky, so I don't know how soon that will be," he added. "Maybe Mia will be the one," he said wistfully.

"I think Mia is a long way from settling down, Conor. But you two could have a lot of fun together in the meantime," she grinned.

She was just leaving her last class on the first Friday afternoon in April when her cell phone rang. "Hello," she mumbled as she tried to balance the little phone against her ear while struggling with her text books.

"Jamie?" the familiar voice asked.

"Jack," she breathed, amazed to hear from him. "Uh...hi," she added hesitantly.

"Um..." he stumbled a bit, obviously unsure of himself. "Would you...
um...
what I wanted to know was...
um...
if you would have any interest in talking to me a little bit."

"Talking to you?" she asked, rather confused by his tone and his request.

"Yeah, Jamie," he said with a bit more confidence. "I've been doing a lot of thinking and I have some things to say to you."

"Uhh, well, sure Jack, I'd be happy to talk to you," she agreed even though her stomach was clenching. "What's good for you?"

"If you're free tonight I could come take you to dinner," he offered.

"Uh...okay," she said. "I'm free after 7."

"Great," he said happily, sounding very much like himself now. "I'll call and make reservations. Anyplace new you'd like to try?"

Is this Jack Townsend?
she wondered warily. "Well, there's a nice little Northern Italian place called Cucina. I don't know the number though."

"That's okay," he said quickly. "I'll make a reservation and come get you at 7." He paused a moment and asked, "You aren't seeing anyone are you, Jamie?"

"Um, no...
no I'm not," she replied somewhat honestly.

"Great!" he said. "See you then."

"Okay," she said slowly as she clicked the cancel button.
What in the holy hell was that all about?
she wondered as she stared at the phone in her hand.

She felt a bit off kilter during her workout and several times she glanced up at Ryan to find her looking at her with concern in her eyes. The hour passed quickly though, and at the end of the session Ryan asked, "Thai?"

"Pardon me?" Jamie replied with a very confused look.

"Wanna go out for some Thai food after therapy?" she said with a smile. They had been spending nearly every Friday evening together and it had become an unspoken agreement. Jamie went to therapy while Ryan worked out. Then Ryan rode over to her house and took a shower before they went to dinner. It all worked out beautifully even though they had never formally discussed it.

"Um...
well, I uh...
can't do it tonight," she said as she nervously scratched the side of her face. "Um...
something came up and I uh..."

"It's okay, Jamie," Ryan assured her as she lightly squeezed her shoulder. "We don't have to have dinner together every Friday night." She smiled broadly, but Jamie could see just a tiny bit of disappointment on her handsome face.

"I know," she quickly agreed. "We just..."

"It's okay," Ryan said again. "Call you tomorrow?"

"Please do," she said with a smile as she went to the locker to pull her things out. As she walked out the door she could feel Ryan's piercing blue eyes follow her out to the parking lot.
Why do I feel like I'm lying to her?

She and Anna had decided to see each other 3 times a week since she was really ready to deal with her issues and needed all the support she could find in dealing with her feelings for Ryan. After settling down and briefly telling Anna what had happened
,
Anna smiled neutrally, encouraging Jamie to explain her feelings about the issue. "I don't know what I think about it," she maintained. "I'm just trying to be polite."

"Hmm," Anna mused. "Do you normally feel like you're doing something wrong when you're just being polite?" She smiled again, and Jamie once more felt like Anna could see right into her soul.

"Oh crap!" she cried in frustration. "I don't know what in the hell I'm doing! He sounded like he just wanted to chat, but then he offered to buy me dinner in a real restaurant no less!" she gave an ironic grimace at that. "And right before he hung up he asked me if I was seeing someone," she finally admitted with an embarrassed look.

"And that makes you feel...?"

She threw her hands up in frustration; amazed that Anna could not see the problem. "I feel like I'm cheating on Ryan!"

"Cheating...? How exactly are you cheating?"

"I told Ryan I loved her!" she cried. "Now I'm going to have dinner with my ex—
fiancée
and I don't even tell her about it."

"Jamie," she said soothingly, "I think you're getting ahead of yourself here. Yes, you told Ryan that you were attracted to her, but she told you to take the time to figure out what you wanted. If what you told me is accurate she made no claim on you at all."

She nodded her head slowly, as her brow creased. "I told you the truth," she agreed. "But we've been spending all of our time together. If she's dating anyone else it's very late at night because she's with me most of the weekend. It just seems like we're slipping into a dating relationship even though we don't touch sexually."

"Oh, I see," Anna said as she nodded. "You think your actions have told her something that your words have not."

"Kinda," she admitted. She shook her head roughly, causing her thick blonde hair to bounce all around her face. With an annoyed move she shoved her right hand through her hair, brushing it out of her eyes and settling it in its normal casual style. "I was just starting to feel like I was getting close to making a move, Anna," she nearly moaned. "I really felt like I was on a path...
do you know what I mean?"

"I think I do, but tell me more," she urged.

"I know it's been a tortured path," she said with a wry smirk, "but a path nonetheless. I feel like from the time I met Ryan
,
I've made consistent baby steps towards being with her. This is the first time I've felt my desire waver," she admitted.

"What's the pull with Jack?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said after a deep breath. "I did love him, you know," she said a little defensively as she stared at Anna defiantly. "And I didn't break up with him. He dumped me. So maybe it feels good to have him make overtures to getting me back."