Awakenings - SF1 (2 page)

He was such a welcome change from the boys she had known in high school. He was mature, and confident and very interested in her. But unlike her high school dates he did not seem only interested in her for sex. He wanted to build a relationship.

As she watched Jack sleep in her arms she felt a fierce well of emotion build up inside of her.
I'll try to be what you need, Jack. But I need you to be patient with me while I figure some things out.

Sunday morning dawned bright and clear. Jamie was up early, as was her custom. When Jack made his way into the small kitchen she was sitting at the counter drinking a large latte' and reading the New York Times.

"Hi, sleepyhead," she teased as their eyes met.

"Wow, I didn't realize how tired I was," he said sheepishly. "It's past 8! I never sleep that late." As he shuffled over to her she opened her arms and enveloped him in a big hug. "Maybe Dr. Jamie's sleeping potion was too strong for you," she murmured.

He grinned down at her as he replied, "That reminds me, I need to give you a double dose of that potion today."

"Okay, Doc, but at the moment I would like to get you into clothes, not out of them. Remember you promised we could go to church today."

"Oh, right," he said as he remembered their plan. "Let me take a quick shower and we can get going. Did you want to hit the 9:00 or the 11:00 o'clock service?"

"I thought 9 o'clock and then maybe we can play a round with Daddy if he's available," she said.

"Sounds good, Sweetie," he said over his shoulder as he walked into the bathroom. "Why don't you give him a buzz?"

The day was shaping up well. Her father happily agreed to play golf, but since her mother had just returned from her month long vacation to visit her family in Newport she wanted to come along and have brunch beforehand.
Gosh, I can't believe I completely forgot that she was back this week,
Jamie thought.
I really should have called her on the day she came back.

They settled into a pew near the front of the small, Episcopal Church on the outskirts of Nob Hill. As the choir began the opening hymn they turned slightly to watch the procession. As the acolytes, the verger and the choir filed past Jamie made eye contact with a gray haired elegant looking priest. She wrinkled up her nose a bit and winked at him. He gave her a fond smile and winked back.

Charles Sloan Evans had been an Episcopal priest for nearly 40 years. He and his wife had reared a son and a 2 daughters. The eldest being Jamie's father. Jamie had always known where her father got his sense of humor and his generally easy going nature. But as much as she loved her father, her grandfather was Jamie's ideal of what a man should be. He was kind, warm, empathetic and very funny. Jamie spent many an hour in his study just talking about life. He seemed to understand her in a way that she doubted anyone else ever would. Her grandmother had died before Jamie was born, but her grandfather never seemed lonely. He was very dedicated to his calling and genuinely loved helping people through the trying times of their lives. Jamie knew that her grandfather was a bit disappointed in his only son. Rev. Evans felt that his son had not found his true soul mate and he was dismayed at the lack of time that he spent with his family. He felt that Jim had been lured by the money and power that his wife's family promised. But Jim had produced this most perfect of granddaughters and for that he was eternally grateful.

After the reading of the gospel, Rev. Evans climbed to the pulpit. His deep, clear voice warmed Jamie's heart. Few things made her happier than hearing her grandfather impart his wisdom on his congregation. His sermon spoke of love, one of his favorite themes. Jamie could not imagine attending a church where the message was sin and retribution. But even though his message was usually happy, her grandfather had a way of making even difficult topics seem uplifting and hopeful.

He spoke of love being God's greatest gift to man and the most visible sign of His presence among us. Through love for another, humans acknowledged this gift of love from God and expressed it in concrete form. In no other way could we feel His love for us as completely. This manifestation was a gift to be cherished-not taken frivolously. Through the loving pairing of two people God dwells among them.

Jamie was thoughtful through the rest of the service.
Is that how I
feel
?" she thought
. Do my feelings for Jack reflect that peak experience?
Is this the height of my expression of God's love?

As they filed out of the church, hand in hand, Jack turned to Jamie and said, "Wasn't that a great sermon?"

"Yes," agreed Jamie, "it really gave me something to think about."

"Your grandfather just expressed exactly how I feel about you Jamie," he said with a beautiful smile on his face. Jamie felt her heart break at the look of love on Jack's face.

She pasted a similar smile on her own face and said, "I'm very happy that you told me that Jack." She stretched on her tiptoes as she reached up with tears in her eyes and gave him a chaste kiss. He beamed down at her and remarked, "We are two lucky people, Jamie."

"We are that, Jack," she agreed with a tear in her eyes.

Jack enthusiastically shook Rev. Evans hand as they exited the church. Jamie gave her grandfather a big hug that was returned with gusto. "You hit another home run, Poppa," she teased.

"Well, when I have such an attentive audience it inspires me to swing for the fences," he agreed. After a few minutes of banter, the couple excused themselves and made their way to the Club for brunch.

The Olympic Club was the scene of the majority of Jamie's Sundays since she was a small child. Her parents dutifully took her to church and Sunday school but when she was old enough to drive herself, they began to find excuses for the religious part of the day. But both of her parents loved to while away the afternoon at the Club. Her father played golf while her mother chatted with her friends or sometimes played tennis. They nearly always enjoyed brunch together as a family, though. As they sat at their table overlooking the 18th green Jamie regarded them all with an appraising eye.
This is exactly where I will be in 20 years,
she thought
. Jack and I will be with our children at a table just like this one. We will be eating the same food from the same china. Some of the waiters will still be here. We will be having the same topical conversation with the other members about our golf games and our families and our busy lives. He and I will love each other but we will not share much other than the children. His real love will be his career. Is this what I want? But if not, what do I want?

She was jolted from her musings by the crisply uniformed waiter saying, "Miss Jamie, what would you like to drink?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Harold, lemonade would be great, thank you."

"Jamie, you seem a thousand miles away this morning," said Jack. "Is anything wrong?"

"No, of course not," she replied lightly. "I'm just thinking about school starting tomorrow. I guess I'm just preoccupied."

"Do you have your pencils sharpened and a new Star Wars lunchbox?" he teased.

"I was partial to Malibu Barbie myself," she retorted.

"I'm sure this will be a great year for you," he reassured her as he squeezed her hand. "And for us," he added with a confident grin.

Jamie made her way back to the home she shared with her roommates. She plodded along the 101 in her yellow Porsche Boxster fighting the heavy traffic
. Why does every living soul have to leave the City for the weekend?
" she mused. She hoped that her good friend Mia would be home. She really enjoyed spending time with her old high school buddy.
Maybe she will be able to help me
out of this funk
, Jamie thought.
But I guess I need to be sure what it
is about, before anyone can help me get out of it.
She just felt so---restless. Yes, she was restless...but for what? She truly did not know. She just felt unsettled. She really thought that her engagement to Jack would settle her feelings. She had thought that once this part of her life was secured, she would feel more at peace. In reality, it had made things more uncomfortable. But no matter how much thought she devoted to the problem she did not know how to rectify it. There was nothing wrong with Jack, of that she was sure
. Nine tenths of the women in America would give their right arm to be with a man like him,
she thought. The problem seemed to be with her. There was just something missing. There was a feeling of peace that she craved but just could not conjure up when they were together. But if she was honest with herself the peaceful feeling was not something that she experienced very often, with Jack or alone.
Oh, well, I'm only 20 years old. Maybe I'm supposed to feel unsettled
, she thought as she drove on through the night.

When Jamie announced her decision to attend Berkeley her parents had very reluctantly agreed, with the proviso that she not live on campus. They wanted her in an atmosphere closer to that of a real home and they were helped in this quest by some of Jamie's classmates. Mia Christopher was the daughter of Adam and Anna Lisa Christopher. Adam was a partner at another prestigious law firm in San Francisco and a Stanford classmate of Jamie's father, Jim. The families were cordial to one another but the girls mothers were not particularly close. Anna Lisa was a fiery first generation American whose family hailed from Italy, but Jamie's mother Catherine was from a very old very wealthy W.A.S.P. lineage. The women liked one another well enough but they were far too different to feel really comfortable with one another.

Another prep school classmate, Cassie Martin also enrolled at Cal. The situation with Cassie was just the opposite from Mia. Jamie's mother and Cassie's mother, Laura were very good friends, but their husbands had never hit it off. Likewise, Jamie liked Cassie well enough but she had never felt particularly close to Cassie, nor had she ever truly trusted her. But their mother's close relationship forced the girls together frequently and Jamie did not feel strongly enough to fight the situation so she went along and made the best of it.

All 3 sets of parents agreed that if the girls were to attend Cal it would be best if they lived together in a suitable home. So the three mothers got together and swept through Berkeley like a tsunami. They interviewed real estate agents and found an acceptable house within walking distance of campus. It was a large craftsman style bungalow, built in the early 1920's. It had originally contained 3 bedrooms and one bath but through the years additions had enhanced the original layout to create more generous bedrooms and add 1 1/2 baths. All of the bedrooms and two baths were on the 2nd floor. The first floor contained a very large, airy kitchen with a powder room and a door to a small, shaded back yard, a formal dining room, a spacious parlor and a small oak paneled library. The house was truly beautiful with its generous deep front porch, original leaded glass windows and beautifully restored redwood moldings throughout. Jamie loved the house from the moment she saw it, which was lucky since neither she nor her friends were consulted on the decision. Catherine Evans had made the actual purchase of the house since she could make a purchase of that size without even noticing the dent in her bank balance. The others paid a reasonable amount of rent, and all shared utilities.

The girls' mothers had furnished the home in a very attractive, if not luxurious style. Jamie's mother had purchased all of the kitchen utensils since the other girls had no interest in cooking. Jamie put her hours of observing their family cook, Marta, to good use in cooking for herself and anyone else who was willing to help clean up afterward.

They got along well all through freshman year. But during that summer both Cassie and Mia obtained steady boyfriends. Mia's new love Jason went to UCLA, but Cassie's boyfriend Chris went to Cal. This changed the dynamic between the women and upset the balance they had created. While they did not really argue, Jamie and Mia began to grow more distant from Cassie and spend less and less time together. Even though Jack was just down the freeway at Stanford the fact that she did not often see him during the week allowed Jamie and Mia to still spend quite a bit of time together. Jamie had always liked Mia, but during this past year they had grown particularly close. Neither of them had a sister and they had begun to share the intimate secrets of their lives, creating a deep bond. Mia liked Jack and constantly teased Jamie about him. Jamie also liked Mia's boyfriend Jason, but she saw very little of him because he was in L.A. and did not often come to the Bay Area for visits.

As Jamie pulled up to the drive she saw that Mia's car was at home. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that Cassie's car was absent. In a way it was silly for them to have 3 cars in Berkeley. They did not drive to school or use the cars much, but they came in handy for driving to the Peninsula for the occasional weekend at home.

"Hey Mia, are you here?" Jamie asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I'm upstairs," came the reply.

"You want anything from the kitchen?" Jamie shouted back up the stairs.

"Yeah, bring me a diet anything," Mia shouted back.

After making her brief stop in the kitchen Jamie lugged her overnight bag and two diet Sprites up the wide oak staircase. Mia was lying on her bed, her room a total mess as usual. She was inattentively watching television with a CD playing in the background. She stood in the doorway and watched her friend for a moment, looking at her usually sunny, slightly cherubic face that was now resting in a bored grimace. "Couldn't decide?" Jamie asked, pointing at the TV and the CD player in sequence.