Awakenings - SF1 (12 page)

"That's great. I'm glad you're comfortable with this. But is there anything you would like to change? I mean if we can," Ryan added.

"I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying I get to choose how I change?"

"To some extent, yes," Ryan agreed.
"
There are certain areas on any body that respond more quickly to weight training. But there is some genetic predisposition that affects the final outcome," she added knowledgeably.

"So are you saying that you can project those areas on me?" Jamie quizzed.

"Kind of," Ryan said. "Do you mind me staring at you again?"

"Be my guest," she replied as a warm flush crawled up her cheeks and she tried to adopt a casual pose.

Ryan stood back a step or two and crossed her arms across her chest. Once again she stared at Jamie's body; starting at the shoulders and working her way down. "Because of your height I would guess that large leg muscles would not really look great," she observed. "And I would also guess that your legs and butt tend to get big easily." She gently squeezed the muscles at the middle of Jamie's thighs and nodded her head. "I think your quads could really get big if you liked that look. But if you didn't want that we would want to work on elongating your muscles there, rather than just making them big."

Next she placed her hands on Jamie's shoulders. "You have a nice deltoid just waiting to come out here." She placed her fingertips loosely on the tops of Jamie's shoulders again and slowly traced her thumbs over the muscles just above her breasts, "And you could develop really nice pecs. And if I'm not mistaken," she said as she ran the flat of her hand slowly down Jamie's bare abdomen, starting just under her bra and stopping just above her pubic bone, "you could have killer abs." This she said with a real twinkle in her eyes.

"How can you tell that?" Jamie asked thinly as she struggled to replace the saliva in her mouth.

"You don't have hardly any adipose tissue there. Those muscles are just dying to pop out. Me, on the other hand," she lifted her jacket and her white nylon shirt to expose her tanned abdomen, "I've got a pretty thick layer of fat here. No matter how much I work on my abs they can't pop out like yours will." As she spoke she grasped Jamie's hand and placed it on the warm body part in question. "Here, feel the difference." Now she placed the hand on Jamie's stomach. "See what I mean?"

Jamie was now fully involved in the exercise. "I do, I really do. Mine feels like just skin covering muscle but yours is softer." She gave Ryan's stomach a little pat, "but there's some pretty hard muscle right under that...what do you call that tissue again?"

"Adipose tissue. That's trainer talk for fat." She whispered this last word right into Jamie's ear.

This received a chortle from Jamie. "I think your fat is in all the right places, Ryan."

She received a smile and a small laugh in return. "Part of the occupational requirements. Can't have an out of shape trainer."

After the preliminaries they worked their way from machine to machine. Ryan had a little notebook which she used to mark every machine. She carefully adjusted each machine to perfectly fit Jamie; then indicated each of these positions in her book. She then made an estimate of the weight she thought Jamie could handle, while she explained how to perform the exercise. Ryan explained that each correct movement through the exercise was called a repetition, or a rep. Ideally, Jamie would perform somewhere between 12 and 15 reps. Ryan said that Jamie should begin to feel fatigue by the 12th or 13th rep, but no sooner. If she was tired before that, the weight was too heavy. If she felt like she could do another 5 or 6 reps without a break, then it was too light.

Ryan explained that there was no easy way to figure out the perfect weight to start with. It was all trial and error. She also said that eventually Jamie would perform 3 sets of each 15 rep exercise, with a minute rest in between sets. As for now, her goal was to get Jamie comfortable with the exercise and get a feel for her capacity.

"An important thing to remember is that you need to acclimate your body slowly to this new level of stress. Don't force yourself to do things that don't feel comfortable. I want this to be pleasurable for you," she reminded Jamie.

"So what's this I
hear about 'no pain, no gain?'
" Jamie asked.

"That is true to a certain extent," Ryan admitted. "Your muscles enlarge from stress. The stress of tearing small fibers and allowing them to heal is what causes them to grow. But a slight discomfort is all you really need to feel. If you are really sore, I haven't done my job well. But you need to remember that this work is stressful. You should drink more fluid than you normally do to flush the lactic acid from your system. And eating well is pretty critical also."

As Jamie performed each of the exercises Ryan paid close attention to her form. She carefully watched her face for signs of stress or too much exertion. Ryan placed one hand at the highest point that she wanted Jamie to extend, and her other hand at the lowest. On the machines where she was forced to move a lot of weight, like the reclining leg press, Ryan gripped the foot plate in her strong hands and pulled it back to reduce the stress on Jamie's legs.

After an hour, they had covered all of the exercises for her legs. Ryan suggested they stop so that Jamie was not overwhelmed with information. Jamie agreed and shook her tired legs out. "Let me help with that," Ryan offered.

"Okay," Jamie agreed, a bit tentatively.

Ryan grabbed a floor mat and instructed her to lie down on her tummy. She grasped Jamie's foot and slowly pushed her leg toward her butt. She held that position for a few moments, and then repeated the stretch with the other foot. After instructing Jamie to turn over she gripped her foot with both hands and pushed until Jamie's knee was near her chest. Again, she held the position before she switched to the other foot. Now she gripped behind her ankle with one hand and placed a restraining hand on her knee. She pushed her leg toward her body until Jamie's butt started to lift off the floor. "Keep your butt down," she instructed. "This will give you a nice stretch in your hamstrings," she said as she indicated the back of Jamie's thigh. After she had completed the stretch, she picked Jamie's foot up and braced it against her chest. She then began to massage her thigh with strong, knowing hands. Jamie closed her eyes in pleasure as Ryan's hands kneaded her tired muscles deeply.

"Do you do this to everybody?" she asked as she slowly lifted her torso up and rested her weight on her forearms.

"Yeah, pretty much," Ryan replied.

"Then you don't charge nearly enough," she said weakly as she felt herself collapse into a boneless heap on the mat.

Ryan laughed as she offered a hand down to her, "C'mon
,
jellyfish. They frown on sleeping on the floor." As she was pulled to her feet Ryan said, "The only bad thing about this place is that there are no showers." She looked at Jamie's sweat drenched head and clothing. "You really should not drive all the way to Palo Alto in those clothes. I'm afraid you'll stiffen up."

"It's only 4:30, we could go by my house so I could take a quick shower," she suggested.

"I think you should do that," Ryan agreed. "I could just take BART home if you don't want me to come with you," she offered hesitantly.

"Why would I..." then Jamie realized what Ryan was getting to. "Are you worried about my roommates?"

"No, I'm not
worried
about them. I just don't want them to hassle you about hanging out with me," Ryan stated quietly.

"Ryan, I am honored to be your friend. Anyone who doesn't like you is not worth my time," she said firmly.

Her face broke into an adorable grin as she blushed just a tiny bit. "Thanks, Jamie. That means a lot to me," she said sincerely.

Despite her protestations, Ryan was relieved when they entered the house and found it empty. "I'll just sit down here and read, if that's okay," Ryan said.

"Sure. Make yourself at home, I'll only be a minute." Jamie started to walk up the stairs when she winced a little bit. "I think you were right about these babies tightening up," she agreed.

"C'mere for a second," Ryan said. "I can loosen them up again. It's just because you let them get cold too quickly." She directed Jamie to the area rug in the middle of the parlor. Jamie removed her sweats and lay down on the rug. Ryan once again began her strong massage. "After I get these loose, you should stay in a hot shower for a few minutes. Then they should be fine." As Ryan continued to work on her legs, the front door opened and Cassie stared at them in surprise. Ryan dropped the leg as if it burned her and immediately adopted a guilty look. Jamie looked from Ryan's face to Cassie's shocked expression and rolled her eyes.

"Hi
,
Cassie," she said as casually as the atmosphere allowed.

"Uh, hi Jamie. Um, what's going on," she asked tentatively.

"Ryan and I were at the gym and my legs stiffened up. She was just loosening them up for me."

"Um,
you
were at the gym?" she asked quizzically.

"Yes, I was at the gym. Ryan is a personal trainer and she is helping me get in shape for a bike ride," Jamie replied.

"You need a trainer to ride a bike?" Cassie said uncertainly.

Jamie shot a quick glance at Ryan who seemed to have recovered her cool. "This is not just any bike ride, Cassie. Ryan and I are going to do the AIDS ride together. It's from here to L.A."

Cassie laughed hard at the mere thought. "Jamie you have got to be kidding. You don't even have a bike."

"I will as of Monday," Jamie replied firmly. "And I'm not kidding. I think it will be a great learning experience for me. Plus it will give me a chance to really get in shape."

"Why on earth do you need to get in shape? You're very thin as it is," Cassie said.

"I'm not trying to lose weight, Cassie. I'm trying to get fit. There is a difference, you know."

"Okay, why do you need to get fit?" she patiently inquired.

"Well, so I can do this ride," she fumbled.

"Doesn't that logic seem just a teeny bit circular to you, Jamie?"

"No, it doesn't. I really want to do the ride and I want to be in better shape," she said a bit defensively.

"Whatever," Cassie finally said with a shake of her long blonde hair. As she began to ascend the stairs she turned and asked, "Aren't you going to see Jack this weekend?"

"Yes, I am," Jamie relied evenly. "As soon as I take a shower, we're leaving."

"Oh, is your friend going?" she inquired sweetly. "I'm sure the three of you will have fun. Or is Jack bringing a friend too?"

Jamie laughed a little as Ryan casually picked up her leg and placed it once again on her chest. She continued the massage as if Cassie did not exist, "No, sadly not," she replied just as sweetly.

Without further comment, Cassie turned and quietly took the stairs two at a time. When she was out of earshot Jamie mumbled, "I wish I lived alone."

When they were back in the car Jamie summoned the courage to finally ask, "Why did you act so funny around Cassie?"

"What do you mean, funny?" Ryan inquired with just a touch of nervousness.

"I don't know, kind of like you were caught doing something wrong," Jamie finally admitted.

After a few minutes of silence Jamie thought that Ryan was just going to ignore the question. She was almost startled when her deep voice responded, "Do you remember our class discussion on homophobia?"

Jamie wondered how this was the answer to her question, but she knew that Ryan's scientific mind sometimes worked in strange ways. "Yes, I do," she answered.

"We did not talk about this, but homophobia is not always about straight people being afraid of gay people. There is something called internalized homophobia that you just saw a demonstration of."

"What do you mean, Ryan?"

"I know that Cassie doesn't like me. I assume it is primarily or exclusively because I'm gay, right?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so," Jamie admitted, "since that's the only thing she knows about you."

"So
,
I internalized her dislike of me and when she came in I felt guilty about being gay. I was holding your leg and rubbing it in a way that probably looked awfully friendly," she blushed a little, "and I felt like I was caught doing something I shouldn't have done."

Jamie somehow found the courage to ask the next question, "Do you have sexual feelings for me Ryan? Please be honest," she begged.

"No, I don't Jamie," she said forcefully. "I don't think of you in that way. Although, if you want me to be perfectly honest I admit that I did when we first met," here she blushed furiously. "I think of you as a friend. And I don't tend to feel sexual desire toward my friends."

"I'm really glad you admitted to that, Ryan. I'm glad to know my instincts work with women as well as men," she teased.

"Oh no, could you really tell?" Ryan was taken aback.

"Um, yeah, at first I could," Jamie admitted.

"And that didn't bother you?" she asked, genuinely intrigued.