Awakened Desires (31 page)

Quinn stepped out of the bedroom and pulled the ill-fitting door shut as softly as she could. She stood there with her hand on the doorknob as if she were glued to it. Her chest began to ache. She wanted to push open that door and run to Gunther’s battered body, but she still had James in her heart. All of her important life moments happened with her husband.

Her breath hitched several times, but she had to swallow her sadness. There was no room or time for her sorrow. She refused to shatter into a million pieces on that dirty floor, but her emotions were overwhelming and her strength was escaping in heavy waves.

Quinn forced her hand off the doorknob and took one step toward the front door. She had to stand watch. Someone had to provide the protection they needed since Gunther was too injured to do so. She took another step forward, but the anguish didn’t let up at all. In fact, it worsened.

Every step forward felt like ten away from Gunther. The kiss that they shared ran through her mind over and over again. She felt like she had cheated on James and it was crushing her chest. She was so confused.

Gunther kept coming to the front of her thoughts. She loved him and wanted the earth to open up and swallow the two of them together. That seemed like the only way it would work between them.

Quinn’s breathing became even more labored. It was just too difficult to keep her emotions at bay. How could she choose between James and Gunther? Then it hit her like a ton of bricks…

James was dead.

He had to be or he would have come back at some point. He would’ve never left her to fend for herself and protect Carrie and Max. She tried to acknowledge it before, but she pushed it into the back of her mind.

Then the scene of her making Carrie and Max true dead came forward, playing in her head. The horror of her daughter being undead wasn’t nearly as bad as seeing her beautiful baby grandson undead. Her body started shaking uncontrollably, which reflected what was going on in her mind.

Josie woke, hearing Quinn’s struggle. “Quinn?”

She jumped up out of her bedding and ran to her. Reaching out, she touched the back of Quinn’s hand. The touch startled her, which made them both jump. She looked Josie in the eyes, grabbed her chest, and her knees buckled, bringing her straight to the floor.

Josie immediately thought she was having a heart attack. “Quinn! Are you okay?” Josie grabbed at her to try and stop her from falling, only to follow her down herself. She was on all fours, gasping for breath. “Quinn!” Josie got up and ran to the bedroom door. She pounded on it, looking back at Quinn. “Gunther! Gunther!” she yelled. Just as she was about to blow through the door herself, he yanked it open in haste, his Sig in hand. “Something’s wrong with Quinn.”

I was startled out of my half-sleep by Josie yelling for Quinn, then I heard the pounding on the door. Jumping out of bed, I almost fell over from the pain. I grabbed my Sig and headed for the door. When I ripped it open, I shoved Josie behind me protectively, not hearing what she was saying.

Quinn was on the floor, clutching her chest and gasping for air. The sight of her like that made my heart ache with fear. Even though my pain was excruciating, I rushed to Quinn’s side. She was gasping for breath and her face was twisted with fear.

“Quinn?! Josie, what happened?!”

“I…I don’t know! She was standing at the door, took a couple steps, and she just fell forward, breathing like that!”

Josie was in a complete panic, as was I. I couldn’t bear something happening to Quinn. Not now—not after our confession of love to one another.

“Quinn…look at me.” I grabbed her face. “Love, look at me.” Her sultry brown eyes, full of fear and desperation, focused on mine. Her breathing settled down a little, but she was still reeling. “That’s it, love,” I murmured.

Quinn’s lower jaw trembled as she clawed at me, trying to find purchase somewhere on my body. She was scaring the hell out of me, but I did my best to stay calm. Her labored breathing broke into sobs. It poured out of her, releasing the overwhelming sea that was forcing its way forward.

Josie couldn’t do anything but watch. It was frightening for both of us to see Quinn so undone. I grabbed her frantic arms, sat back on the dirty floor, and pulled her onto my lap. I wanted to soothe her, but I wasn’t sure how. I didn’t know how to bring true comfort to her since I was the cause of damn near all of her pain. I looked back at Josie, hoping she would instruct me, but she was a zero on the help scale. I was on my own.

With shaking hands, I stroked the back of Quinn’s hair in the hope that something would instinctively happen. I began rocking her, pulling her closer and closer to me until we were practically one. Tucking her head deeper into my neck, my shirt collar became wet with her heavy tears.

“He’s de-dead,” Quinn choked out into my neck. Immediately, I understood that she had finally realized James wasn’t coming back. She looked up at me with her sorrowful eyes. “He-he’s dead, isn’t h-he?” she sobbed.

“I’m sorry, love. I’m so sorry.”

I did this to her. I made her feel this epic pain, and I can’t take it back.
Guilt tore through me like a dull knife—slow and deliberate. The pain in my heart was tremendous. I pushed away my guilt to focus on Quinn.

“I had to k-kill my baby.” Her words came out dripping with heartbreak.

I had never discussed Quinn’s family with her. A few things would slip from her once in a while but, for the most part, we didn’t talk about it. She always stopped me every time I asked.

I didn’t know what to do. Picking myself up to a partial standing position, I cringed with every movement, then scooped up Quinn. I broke out into a sweat from the shear pain, but I had to take care of my love.

I carried her into the bedroom, laid her down on the lumpy bed, and closed the door so she could have some privacy with all of her sorrow. I paced as much as the small space would allow. She was curled up in a fetal position and sobbing. Unsure of what to do next, I decided getting into the bed next to her and pulling her close may have been a good place to start. I wrapped my aching body around hers so we were face-to-face. She responded and curled into me, looking for me to comfort her. The tears still flowed from Quinn’s grief-stricken eyes, so I wiped her face with the sleeve of my shirt.

After what seemed like an eternity, her cries settled, but she still wasn’t able to pull herself together. “It’s going to be okay, love. I’ve got you.” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t even know if
that
was the right thing. “This is all my fault, but I want to help you get through this.” Then I admitted, “I want to make you feel better, but I don’t know how.” She continued to gaze into my eyes as I stroked her face, wiping away each tear that leaked from her beautiful eyes. “I’m so sorry, Quinn. I’m so sorry I did this to you.” She reached up and touched my cheek. “I can’t take back what I did, so please help me help you. Tell me what to do.”

“Just…h-hold me,” Quinn stammered as she clutched onto me.

I felt her desperation in her touch. I needed her and she needed me. We were nose-to-nose, and her breath tickled my lips. She pressed her moist lips to mine and I returned the gesture rather greedily. Our tongues connected, and she tasted exquisite. She nipped at my upper lip, causing me to moan into her mouth.

I pulled away and gazed into her eyes. “I can’t do this with you if it isn’t what you truly want, Quinn.”

“This
is
what I want. I want you. I want to show you my love. If I lost you before I could show you, it would kill me,” she murmured as she pressed her lips to mine, forcing her tongue through to tangle with mine.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was beyond the clouds. I didn’t understand it, but I wasn’t going to argue or give the moment away, either.

After several long, passionate kisses, I fought with the buttons on my shirt. Eventually, I was able to get the bloody thing off. Focusing my attention on the love of my life, I kissed her with vigor, our tongues intertwining in a rhythmic dance that I only wanted to share with her. I ran my hand down her side and reached around to grip onto that foxy backside of hers. She groaned into my mouth. Such a turn-on.

Quinn laid her beautiful hands on my chest, which twitched as she dragged her palms down and around to my back. I ached from my physical pain, but my body burned for her even more. I needed her no matter how much the sex would hurt.

Moving my big palm around to her front side, I began massaging her heat through her jeans. She was so warm and gasped through a kiss as my touch grew firmer. I ran my hand up under her shirt and grabbed hold of her curvy hip. I pulled her body into my hips and ground myself into her, letting her feel what she did to me.

I was as hard as titanium and so happy to be in working order. The fear that I would never get hard again after that bollock-crunching stomp was real. With a desperation that nobody could possibly understand, I needed her.

Our kissing continued at a staggering pace. I pushed Quinn’s shirt up farther, exposing her bra—delicate and lacy under my fumbling, bloodstained fingers. Roughly, I yanked her shirt off with heated desire.

She was the most gorgeous woman I have ever had the pleasure to see. I reached behind her and unhooked her bra, pulled it from around her, and tossed the bloody hindrance aside. I had been dying to see her and the moment was finally happening.

All of my focus went to her breasts that were now standing at attention, anxious for me to run my hands and slick tongue over them. I was happy to oblige their unspoken demand.

“You are absolutely stunning, love,” I whispered as I began kissing her chest, dragging my tongue around one nipple, then the other. She was gripping onto my muscled shoulders and panting as my lips pulled one of her pink pretties between my teeth. Pushing her leg over with my knee, I rolled on top and slid up to her face to kiss her delicious mouth.

Quinn was breathing hard, much like I was. “Gunther…,” she moaned between breaths. She had no idea what a turn-on it was to hear her moan my name.

She felt so goddamn good in my arms, I never wanted to let her go. As our mouths stayed connected, her hands slid down my sides. Then she struggled with the button of my jeans. I reached down to help free my John Thomas, which was already dripping and ready for her.

She ran her fingers up and down my impressive length. My breath caught in my throat, and I let out a quiet moan. She continued to stroke me, and I wanted to die right there. A shudder ran through my body. Her touch hurt so much, but it felt so fucking good at the same time. The pain didn’t matter. I took pleasure in every touch and stroke.

“You’re beautiful, Gun. I could stare at your body all day and night,” she whispered into my chest as her tongue flicked over my nipple.

“Shit…,” I moaned.

Her tongue was warm and velvety soft. Her hands were made of magic, and they moved in a perfect rhythm over me. I closed my eyes and held myself up as best I could in my injured state, giving her as much access as she needed. My jaw dropped open and I knew if she continued, I would have blown my seed all over her. I wanted our first time to last as long as I could make it.

“I need you to stop for sec…” Each word was laced into a pant. I grabbed her hand and pulled it away. “This will be done in seconds if you keep that up.”

Adjusting my big body off to her side, I pulled off Quinn’s jeans—a single peek at a time—kissing every bit of creamy, luscious curve that appeared. Her body had to be aching for mine as much as mine was for hers. She shuddered every time my lips and rough palms dragged around her hips and legs. I crawled back up on her, kissing her stunning figure. She was so curvy and fucking foxy. So perfect in every way.

When I made it to her face, we gazed into each other’s eyes, feeling the intensity of one another’s passion. “Are you sure?” I asked in fear of rejection. “I can’t do this with you if you aren’t completely sure.” I needed to be in her and needed to feel her body wrapped around me. I was desperate to slam my John Thomas deep into her honey pie.

“Yes. Please,” she moaned as my tip grazed her folds. “I need you. All of you.” I wasn’t going to argue or put up a fuss in any way, so I kicked off my jeans.

With a gentleness that I never knew I had in me, I eased myself into her wet and readied body. A lust filled groan slipped from my lips.
Fuck me
. She was ridiculously tight. She buried her face into my chest to stifle her gasp, and I buried my face into the pillow to keep my deep growl from reverberating off the shack’s walls. I had to rock to fully get into her, but once I was all the way in, she felt like heaven.

Absolute fucking heaven. She felt so good clamped around me—so tight and so warm and so moist. I regretted not tasting her beforehand and hoped there would be plenty of other opportunities to taste the honey from the one and only love of my life.

I gazed down at her face, which was twisted up as a few tears trickled down her cheeks. I didn’t want to hurt her. She shifted her hips and I just about died right at that moment. “Oh god, love. You’re so fucking tight.”

Knowing I was hurting her, I didn’t move. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, unless she game me permission. Her pants sounded full of pain, and she must have felt like I was tearing her apart. Guilt trickled into my mind. I already hurt her enough with everything else I put her through.

That was the very first time I regretted my size because I was hurting the one I loved. “You want me to stop?” She shook her head into my neck. “I can stop. We don’t have to do this. I don’t want to hurt you.” She slid her arms under mine and pulled down on my shoulders. The pain that came from my injuries was more of an exhilarating feeling than anything else. “Are you sure you are all right, my love?” I asked as her panting calm a bit, and her body began to relax into the bed. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

“Yes…” She swallowed. “Please, I need you.” I looked into her eyes and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. One long stroke at a time, I began to move. I wanted to come right then. “Oh god, Gunther,” she moaned. Her breathing hitched, as did mine, each time I thrust into her.

My J.T. hurt like a motherfucker, but it wasn’t bloody likely that I was going to stop because of some pain. I knew there would be a pot of gold at the end, and I was going to take us both there.

She cried out as I thrust with a little more vigor. “You all right, love?” I murmured, full of concern.

Her eyes fluttered open and she placed both of her hands on my face. “Gun…you’re so big.”

I smiled. “Oh, love…” I paused for a second, absorbing what she just said and how she said it. What a wonderful woman she was to say such wonderful things to me. She loved me, every bit of me.

As I continued to plunge into Quinn’s begging body, I tucked my face into her neck, licking and kissing my way around her soft skin. “You feel amazing. I need more,” she begged softly in my ear.

I quickened my pace. We both worked hard to be as quiet as possible, which proved to be a chore because my body was screaming in protest. The shudder built in her. I pulled her in close and wrapped my arms around her, knowing she was going to come for me. No matter how much pain it caused me, I was going to hold us both together. She moaned in my ear again, which was ungodly sexy. She was enjoying me and I could barely contain myself.

Quinn fought not to cry out when her moment arrived. I held her face and watched her explode beneath me, wanting to remember every bloody second of it. She was so beautiful and I had a feeling that if we were alone, she would have screamed.

Her body quaked as she pulsated around me, drawing J.T. in with furious passion. I was seconds away from exploding myself. She wrapped her shaking arms and legs around me, meeting me every time I plowed myself into her—each time deeper than the last.

“Jesus Christ, Quinn…fuuuuuck.”

She began rising again. Feeling so close myself and fearful that she would become pregnant, I alarmed her when I pulled out of her quaking body. I was ready to paint her abdomen with my seed, then I would take care of her and get her there as many times as she wanted.

“Wha…what are you doing?” Quinn asked desperately. She grabbed at me, trying to bring me back to her.

“I can’t…in you,” I panted.

“It’s okay. Please,” she begged and tried to pull me back on top of her. “It can’t happen. Please…” I felt I could trust her, and I needed to find my release before my full, heavy bollocks imploded. Quinn pulled me close, allowing me to ease myself back into her waiting body.

Again, my thickness took her by surprise. What a woman she was…so beautiful and sexy, taking me on fully. I buried myself into her with hungry thrusts. My breathing grew ragged, and she was right there with me. She wrapped her body tightly around mine, forcing me to stay in her this time. Her moment stormed through her body, crippling her. She looked stunning, shattering under me, then falling limp from the sexual exhaustion. She was so fucking gorgeous in her afterglow.