Awaken (32 page)

              A wave of cool, refreshing sea water crashed over me and washed away my pain.  It soothed every cut, every burn, and even the knife wound I could still feel throbbing in my abdomen.  The smell of sea grass wafted around me and sent a comforting numbing sensation through my mind.

             
“Try to breathe slowly, baby girl.” Her voice was like a ray of light in a world of infinite darkness.  I immediately recognized it from her own memories.  I lifted myself up on my elbows and gazed up at her, consumed with wonder and astonishment.

             
“Are you…” the cadence of my own voice scratched my throat. “Are you…Thetis? My…mother?”

             
“Yes, Pasha,” she whispered, and I didn’t miss the overwhelming emotion in her voice at the nickname she, herself, had coined.  I lifted myself all the way up into a sitting position and met her wise aquamarine eyes.  They shone with fresh tears and her joyful smile lifted my heart.  Suddenly overcome with emotion, I collapsed into her waiting arms.  It was a place I thought I would never find myself, and I never wanted to let go.

             
“Pasha, we must move.  We must go.” Knowing she was right, I released her but couldn’t take my eyes off of her.  She was breathtaking.  Her flowing white dress was untouched by the dark, sooty soil below, and her hair washed over her shoulders in a symphony of blonde and silver.  She took my hand and assisted me to my feet.  As a shuffling sound drew my attention to the landscape behind us, a throng of decrepit skeletons closed in on us.  I turned to run, but Thetis wrapped her arms around me and muttered something under breath.  In a split second we were on the other side of the River of Fire watching as the skeletons retreated back into the forest of branches.  My stomach dropped as my thoughts shot to Carmen and Phoebe.

             
“Stasia!” I was attacked from the side as Phoebe embraced me in hug; knocking me to the ground.

             
“Hey Phoebs,” I smiled weakly, as she hugged me again.

             
“She saved us!  Thetis saved us!”

             
“How’s Carmen?” I managed beneath her weight.

             
“Well, she’s…alive.” 

             
I looked over Phoebe’s shoulder at Carmen, who was staring at nothing as she sat rigid and motionless on the ground. 

             
“Come, girls.  It is not time to rest just yet.” Thetis smiled down on us.

             
Together we helped Carmen to her feet, but she resolved to trail behind in a trance-like state as we put distance between ourselves and the River of Fire.

             
Thetis slowed and took my cheek in her hand, “Who did this to you?”

             
“Nadia,” I told her apprehensively.  She could be great friends with Nadia for all I knew.  Extremely unlikely, but still possible.

             
“That doesn’t surprise me.” An irate determination spread across her features. “We must hurry and get you back to the River Styx.  She could be waiting, but either way she’ll know when you are in the river.”  I averted my gaze to Phoebe.

             
“Phoebs, take Carmen and get out here,”  I instructed.

             
“But St-“ she began to object.

             
“You have to get Carmen out of here.  She needs you, Phoebs.  I’ll be fine, I promise.”

             
“I assure you that I will escort her to the River Styx and she will easily find the Gates, once she completes her essence,” Thetis consoled her with a warm smile.  Phoebe considered what we had said for a moment and then eyed Carmen warily.

             
“Okay.  I’ll let Natasha know what’s going on,” she nodded at me.

             
“Natasha…” A faraway look fell over Thetis’s eyes, “Please tell her I think of her often.”

             
“I will!” Phoebe walked over to Thetis and took her hand. “It is such an honor to meet you.  You are amazing!”

             
“As are you, Phoebe.” Thetis kissed her on the forehead and patted her hand.  Phoebe gave me another hug and began the task of dragging Carmen back to the Gates and getting back to their bodies.  I turned to Thetis.

             
“How did you know…?” I trailed off.

             
“Why - the moonstone, of course,” she smiled at me knowingly.

             
“The…moonstone?”  I furrowed my brow and reached into my pocket.  I pulled out the white stone and it warmed at my touch. 

             
“Come,” she contended with a grin and held out her hand.  I stepped towards her and she wrapped her arms around me; muttering once again.  In a flash we had been transported out of the dreary landscape and back to the River Styx.  Thankfully, this time we were on the opposite side. 

             
“I cannot take you farther into Elysian, but I can promise your safety here.  Nadia cannot walk this land.”

             
“Why not?”

             
“I think you know the answer to that Pasha,” her eyes smiled at me; amused.

             
“Evil?” I guessed.

             
She nodded proudly and continued our previous conversation, “As you are aware, aquamarine is my stone...and now yours.  However, the moonstone originates back many, many centuries; back to your grandmother.”

             
“My…grandmother?”

             
“Your grandfather’s name was Nereus and your grandmother was Doris.  Her stone was the moonstone.” I peered down at the white stone in my hand that I knew stood for foresight.

             
“I found it at a shipwreck,” I said in a low voice, sadness washing over me at the memory of Finn.

             
“I know,” she admitted slyly and winked at me. “I instructed Finn to place it there for that very reason.”

             
“You…he put it there?”

             
“I knew that once you returned you would have to take your journey.  I wanted to know when you had arrived here.  We are not the only ones who wear aquamarine.  But only a select few have a piece of moonstone.  If I were to sense it, I would know that you had finally arrived to complete your essence.  When Finn communicated your return, I instructed him to make sure that you obtained a piece.  But you needed to be drawn to it in order to feel your own connection to its essence.” 

             
“I had an odd feeling that I should bring it with me on my journey,” I thought out loud; also marveling at Finn and my mother conversing about me.  For some reason, that brought heat to my cheeks.

             
“You grandparents would be so proud of you,” Thetis whispered, as sadness trickled into her beautiful eyes. “Unfortunately, they did not know of your birth.  No one did except for a select few.” As a tear ran down her cheek, I took her hand.

             
“I know.  I saw it happen…in your memory.” Her face instantly lit up at my words.

             
“You have antiquity! Oh, Anastasia - that’s wonderful!” she rejoiced, and eyed my newest trace. “The infinity symbol, of course!  I should have known…” She beamed at me as she reached out and gently touched my cheek.  Unable to stop myself, I told her all about the last four months of my life; my abilities, my affinities, my friends…and my complex issues revolving around Finn.

             
“I can’t let him give up everything…for me.” I searched her eyes for an answer. “I love him, but that’s why I can’t allow him to do that.”

             
“Love is a powerful force. It’s also much more potent than evil,” she emphasized the word ‘evil’ and gently patted my hand. “Always remember that.  You will know what to do.  Listen to your heart and decide what you are willing to sacrifice, my dear Pasha.”  I held her gaze and tears began to collect in my eyes.  I couldn’t believe she was actually sitting beside me, giving me advice.  I felt the gaping hole that had been created so long ago in my heart finally begin to close and mend.

             
“Thanks, Mom,” I whispered, testing out the word Mom.  It felt surprisingly at home on my lips.  She embraced me in a hug.

             
“It is time,” she proclaimed.  I nodded and we stood; both of us eyeing the raging river several yards away.  She stepped in front of me, ensuring that she held my entire focus.             

             
“I love you Anastasia and I am very proud of you.  You are more amazing than you know.  If I could do it all over again, I would gladly sacrifice my life for you again.  You are worth it.” The echo of Natasha’s words resounded in my heart.  Her expression became intense as she continued. “I need you to listen carefully to what I’m about to tell you.”

             
“Okay,” I held my breath in anticipation.

             
“Your father is alive,” she divulged, as my heart skipped a beat and my legs turned to bricks.  I felt the look of shock on my face and I tried, to no avail, to speak.  Thankfully, I didn’t have to. “You must find him.  He is waiting for you.”

             
“Where…where is he?” I forced air out of my lungs and made myself speak.

             
“An island.  He is being held captive.” My reveries about the older man came crashing back to me.

             
“I think I’ve seen him.  In a reverie,” I breathed, as a piece of the puzzle clicked in my mind.

             
“That does not surprise me.  Your soul knows where to find him.  You will also find the conch shell I left you to be useful in your search,” she hinted, with an enchanting light in her eyes.  As I became speechless again, she put her comforting hands on my shoulders. “But right now, Pasha…it is time to fulfill your destiny.”

             
I swallowed and focused on the task at hand.  As if Finn, my friends, and the entire Tyde Order weren’t enough motivation, now I knew that my father was alive.  And waiting for me.  As a surge of renewed energy shot through me, I stood up straight and  smiled confidently at my mother.

             
“I’m ready.”

              Glancing over my shoulder one more time at my mom, I took a deep breath and leapt into the raging rapids below.  The dark water didn’t hesitate to draw me under, and I automatically took a deep breath.  As the water filled my lungs and circulated through my body, I realized with horror that I’d made a mistake.  As if I had swallowed a mouthful of fire, dancing flames licked at the insides of my body; scorching my throat and burning my muscles.  I clamped my mouth shut and desperately held my breath.  As the water continued sizzling through every cell, I flowed downstream within the rapids doing my best to avoid any large rocks.  I had no idea how much further I had to go, but I knew I couldn’t hold my breath for too much longer.

             
Helpless to control the monstrous, angry river that I was currently in the grips of, I held on for dear life.  As the need for oxygen starved my brain and muscles of clarity and energy, I fought to get my head above the water.  Unfortunately, the strength of the current rolled me over and tossed me in every direction except up.  Feeling the fuzzy blackness knocking at my consciousness, I opened my mouth and again breathed in the scorching water I was submerged in.  Once again, it roared into my lungs; burning the whole way down.  As I felt it revitalize my muscles and lessen in its intensity, I continued to take in deep breaths, ignoring the pain.  Clarity returned, and I was able to think about what was happening.  The more breaths I took, the less it burned.

             
Like salt on a wound, it was a pain I had never experienced; but as it burned, it healed.  As it faded, it made me stronger.  As it disappeared completely, I was reborn.  Allowing the river to take me ever closer to the waterfall, I was no longer scared.  This is what I was meant to do.  I closed my eyes and smiled; welcoming the ferocity of the water I was immersed in. 

             
My head was yanked backwards all of a sudden, as something latched onto my hair.  As I fought to be released, I met the searing gaze of Nadia. She successfully wrapped her hand around a fistful of my hair when I felt my legs drop over the waterfall.  As the rapids rushed over my body, Nadia was attempting to pull me back up.  A calm determination fell over me and in that moment, there was nothing that would stop me from going over that waterfall.  I reached up, grabbed her wrist and twisted as hard as I could.  I felt the breaking of her bones and heard her shout as she released my hair just enough for the falls to pull me out of her grip.  Then I was falling.

             
I was no longer in the waterfall; I was a part of it.  Its energy merged with mine and rushed within.  A flash of light lit up the world around me, and I was suddenly lying on something soft.  I instantly knew what had caught me. The ocean.  I smiled as I heard it calling to me; singing.  I felt its welcome embrace and acceptance as I silently sank beneath the surface.  Unable to move, I sank down to the soft sand on the bottom and watched the light from the sun scatter and create magnificent prisms above.  Wobbly bubbles began to form and rise all around me.  As they ran over my skin and sent tingles through me, I watched them float soundlessly to the surface. 

             
My attention was caught by a small shadow that drifted downward; gently sinking like a feather in the wind.  The closer it got, the brighter it became.  It shone bright aqua; pulsing and flashing silver beams from its depths.  No longer a shadow, the bright ball of light halted right above my chest.  I looked on, mesmerized, as it began to spin at an incredible speed.  Completely entranced, I almost missed the moment when it plunged into my body with an immense explosion, sending me spiraling down, down, down….

             
I hit the marsh with incredible speed, and allowed my body to float back up to the surface on its own.  Once my face broke the surface, I sucked in a breath of oxygen and let out an exasperated cry of joy.  Everything was brighter, sharper.  I could distinguish each individual aroma drifting along the breeze and discern the smallest of sounds; easily pinpointing where they had originated.  I kicked to the side of the marsh and lifted myself up onto the bank.  As I looked back at the waterfall, the same thick fog clung to its waters, keeping it hidden.  Glancing back once more at the thick fog, I turned my attention to the next obstacle.  Getting home.

             
I knew that Nadia would be looking for me, which meant I needed to get out of there as fast as possible.  I took off in a sprint along the banks of the marsh; picking up the pace as the River of Forgetfulness flowed gently to my right.  If the map I had memorized in my head was correct, once the River of Fire was visible on my right, I would be nearing the Groves as well as the Gates of Horn and Ivory.  I could have run for miles without becoming winded, as my newfound strength coursed through me and recharged my muscles every several minutes.  As the heat of the River of Fire swelled up beside me, I spotted the Groves on my left.  I only slowed when I reached the mouth of a towering white arch.  It reminded me of the arch in St. Louis that I had seen pictures of.  It was a pearly white, smooth stone and stood impossibly high.  I glanced over my shoulder to make sure I hadn’t been followed, when I saw a small tree on the outskirts of the Groves.  Deep red fruit hung from its branches.  Pomegranate.

             
Without hesitation, I jogged over to the tree and quickly picked one of the lower hanging pomegranates from a branch.  The round fruit fit perfectly in my palm as I clutched it carefully and ran back to the Gate.  As I stood before its grandeur, I wished for some kind of instruction or a hint as to what to do next.  Did I just walk through it?  Did I need to say something?  Had Carmen and Phoebe made it through without an issue?

             
“You have succeeded,” a velvety voice stated simply.  Persephone, in all her glory, had appeared directly in front of me; creating a barrier between me and the Gate. “What do you plan to do with your newfound essence?”

             
“I’ll become the rightful Leader of the Tydes,” I proclaimed with an inner pride.

             
She nodded, “Your destiny.”

             
“That’s right,” I held her gaze.

             
“If that is so, young goddess, then why do you feel the need to take back a souvenir?”  She sneered at the hand that held the pomegranate.

             
“It’s just…insurance,” I stumbled, and she chuckled softly.

             
“You would give up everything…” She shook her head at me in disappointment, “Then you are a fool.  No man is worth any level of sacrifice.  Not even Finn.” My heart jumped at his name.  She sensed my surprise and smiled wickedly. “Love is a figment of your imagination.  It isn’t real, sweet Anastasia.  We create love.  Love destroys us.  The end.”

             
“Real love is worth any sacrifice,” I countered. “My heart goes out to you and to the sacrifice you were forced to make.”

             
“And yet you consider making the very same sacrifice.  Voluntarily.”

             
“If it comes to that.”

             
“I find your idealistic view endearing; however you will find that there is no love greater than self.  We are selfish beings who will always put ourselves first when presented with the choice.  You are no exception, Anastasia.”

             
“Have you ever been in love?” I inquired with genuine curiosity.

             
“Yes,” she retorted as her golden eyes hardened. “And it destroyed me.  Now leave.” She narrowed her eyes at me and I knew that I had outstayed my welcome.  I was also eager to get back to my body and to find Finn.  I could only hope that I still had enough time.

             
“Thank you, Persephone,” I obliged gratefully.  Her face softened and she disappeared without another word.

             
I turned my attention to the Gate towering above me.  I decided that the best plan of action was to simply walk through it and let it take me where it may.  Fearlessly, I strode beneath the looming arch.  As I stepped onto the cusp, the smooth white stone above disappeared and I found myself in the middle of a field of wildflowers.  A light breeze lifted my hair and flowed over my skin.  The soft smell of lavender soothed me as I turned slowly; taking in my new surroundings. 

             
A small girl suddenly appeared in front of me.  Her thick blonde hair hung over her face as her blue eyes widened in fear.  As she struggled to lift her arms, the sun glinted off of the gun that she gripped tightly.  As she met my surprised gaze, she pointed it directly at me.  I recognized her wrinkled pink shorts and stained white shirt, but the image on the underside of her left wrist cemented my assumptions.

             
“Hannah,” I said calmly. “Put down the gun.”

             
“No,” she insisted, lifting the gun higher.  A paralyzing fear crept up my spine as I realized that she could pull the trigger at any moment.  Was she real?  Was the gun real? 

             
“It’s going to be okay.  Everything’s going to be alright,” I promised her in a soothing tone.

             
“Liar!” she screamed at me; jostling a memory of Natasha’s wise words. ‘
Do not lie to yourself’.
I sighed and tried a different approach; brutal honesty.

             
“You’re right.  That is a lie.  It’s not alright.  It’s not okay.  Things are going to get worse; much worse.  You’re going to be scared.  You’re going to want to die.  You’re going to want to give up.”  As she listened to my words intently, she began to lower the gun so I continued. “But, you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.  You’re going to make it.  And trust me when I tell you that you’re worth the fight.” 

             
She stared at me in disbelief for a moment more, and then dropped the gun and ran into my arms.  As I wrapped my arms around her, she disappeared and I was below the Gate once more.  The smooth, white stone had morphed into an arch of horns.  I smiled to myself and took the next step.

             
I gasped for air and began to cough uncontrollably as a wave of nausea crashed over me. 

             
“Get her some water!” I heard Natasha shout at someone.  Her voice softened as I sensed her lean over me.  She placed a cold wash cloth on my forehead and stuck something under my nose that smelled of garlic.  It instantly calmed me and erased the nausea twisting within my stomach.  I slowly opened my eyes.

             
“Natasha?”

             
“I’m here, dear,” she answered tenderly.  I didn’t miss the smile in her voice.

             
“I did it,” I breathed in relief.  She chuckled and helped me sit upright as I drank from the glass of water Liam had handed her.  It felt amazing to my throat, which had swallowed at least two gallons of black soot.  I pulled up my shirt to inspect the stab wound in my stomach, only to realize that it had closed and was only a tender pink scar.  The scratches down my arms and legs were also in the process of healing.

             
“How’d that happen?” I said under my breath. The answer came to a screeching halt just inside the doorway as Willow let out a squeal and she throttled herself towards me.

             
“Oh Stasia!  You made it!” She held on to me tightly.  “I was so worried!  Did you go over the waterfall?  Did you complete your essence?”

             
“I did it,” I grinned weakly. “I also met my mother.”

             
“That’s what Phoebe said!”  She jumped up and down and hugged me again, as my thoughts went to my other roommates.

             
“So they’re okay?” I asked, hopeful that Carmen had returned to normal once she had awakened in her body.

             
She nodded solemnly, but Liam frowned in frustration and gave me the somber news, “Phoebe’s fine - she’s resting in another room.  But Carmen is...troubled.” My heart squeezed as I remembered her blank, lifeless eyes staring into the distance.

             
“I don’t know what happened.  Something got her and wouldn’t let go,” I voiced my thoughts.

             
“She’s in there somewhere.  We’ll find her,” Natasha smiled encouragingly. “Ricker flew in to be with her, but she’s still not talking.”  If both Liam and Natasha were here, did that mean…?

             
“What day is it?  What time is it?” I shrieked as I jumped off the table. “I need to get to Finn!”

             
“Take it easy, Stasia,” Natasha grabbed my arm and steadied me before I fell against a cabinet. “You’ve made it back just in time.  It’s only 11:00pm.”

             
“11:00?!” I shrieked again, “That’s
not
just in time!  I’ll never make it!”  Tears began to build behind my eyes and my legs started to shake. 

             
“You underestimate me, Anastasia,” Natasha grinned at me with a twinkle in her eye.  “You should never underestimate a witch.”