Awaken (27 page)

             
“She might be waiting for you in the Underworld.  Maybe this is all part of her ‘Ruin-Stasia’s-life plan.” Carmen shrugged her shoulders.

             
Liam, who had been thoughtful since Ricker’s text, stood, and began to pace.  He looked very beach prep, wearing khaki linen pants with an untucked white button down shirt.  He was chewing on his bottom lip and his tense body language told me that something was on his mind.  Something important.  He glanced at me several times before stopping in front of me. 

             
“I need to tell you guys something,” he sighed and gestured for Natasha to come back in the room and sit down.  “It’s about Finn.”

              “What is it, dear?” Natasha spoke softly but her blue eyes were now swirling with intensity. A paralyzing panic took my body captive as we waited for Liam to continue.  He stared at Natasha for several seconds and then glanced at me again.

             
“Finn confided in me several weeks ago,” he began with downcast eyes. “He was adamant that our conversation stay between just the two of us.  But as things have become increasingly complicated and I am beginning to understand the magnitude of his decision, I need to tell you.”

             
“Is he okay?” Natasha prompted.  Liam nodded and I felt her breathe a sigh of relief beside me.

             
“He has decided,” Liam paused and took a deep breath, “to deny his destiny as the future Prime; exiling him from both the Sons Order and the Underworld.”

             
A moment of shocked silence passed as Natasha’s hand flew up to her mouth and she just shook her head back and forth.  Willow, Carmen, and Phoebe were shocked into silence.  I was so confused by what I had just heard I couldn’t speak.  Deny his destiny? Deny the one thing he’d been preparing for his entire life?  Why would he do that?  Why would he give that all up?  Nadia.  As my blood began to boil, I quickly found my voice.

             
“Is this Nadia’s doing?  Is she making him do this?” I yelled at Liam frantically.  I clasped my shaking hands together tightly and forced myself to think straight.

             
“No,” Liam whispered.

             
“No, what?” I urged.  How could she do this to him!?  She would have to answer to me.  She would not get away with this. 

             
“Not for Nadia,” he held my now irate gaze, “for you.”

             
Natasha let out a gasp as understanding washed over her features.  Unfortunately, that understanding wasn’t reaching me.  Why would he give up his destiny for me?  I would never ask that of him!

             
“But…why?” As my legs began to shake as hard as my hands, I stumbled back to the couch and sat down in a heap of nerves. 

             
“It’s the only way he can be with you,” Natasha responded for him; tears collecting in her eyes. 

             
“But I would never ask that of him!  He can’t deny his destiny.  It’s what he’s worked his entire life for!  It’s who he is!”  I screamed at them as they all stared back at me; still in shock.  A war began to rage between my heart and my head.  My heart was rejoicing at the sacrifice he was willing to make to be with me.  But my head was screaming at me to stop him from ruining his life.  It just wasn’t right.  He couldn’t give up everything.  Not for me.  Didn’t he lecture me about the weighty responsibility we both had to lead and protect our Orders?  Didn’t he explain how many people were counting on us?  And he was willing to throw it all away.  For me.

             
“When was he planning on doing it?” Phoebe asked Liam slowly.

             
“He’s planning on announcing his denial during his fight tomorrow night,” Liam told us and Natasha gasped again.

             
“But he can’t!” I cried as my opposing emotions clashed and fought to reconcile.  I wanted to be with him more than anything, but I wasn’t willing to sacrifice his destiny.  Not for me.  We’d figure out another way.  There had to be another way.

             
“He can.  And he fully intends on going through with it,” Liam declared.

             
“Natasha, please don’t think I want this-“ I started to plead with her.

             
“My dear, true love is a strong force.  It is the one thing in this world that’s stronger than fate.” She faced me as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Once set in motion, it is unstoppable.”

             
I put my head in my hands and allowed the tears to flow once more. It was a miracle there were any left to rain down on the mess that had become my life.  I had to find a way to stop him.  Suddenly unable to sit down any longer, I stood and walked out of the room; drowning in my own thoughts.  My feet took me to the fountain.  Not wanting to ruin another set of clothes, I sat down on the ledge and allowed my feet to dangle in the water. 

             
Could it be true?  Was Finn willing to give up everything just to be with me?  Guilt crashed into me, knocking the breath out of me and sitting wholly on my shoulders; causing them to slouch forward with grief.  Maybe if I’d given him more time to explain?  Maybe if I wouldn’t have made him feel so bad?  Maybe he wouldn’t have felt that he had no other choice.  That’s when it hit me.  This was his only choice.  He knew there was no other way.  But the difference was that it wasn’t my only choice.  I would find a way around this.  I would not let him throw away his destiny.  The Sons needed him.  He would never be whole again without his Order.  Without the connection to the Underworld.  Without his own father.  My heart shriveled and threatened to shatter at my last thought.  I knew what it felt like to not have a father.  I would not let Finn live like that. 

             
“You are worth it.”

             
Natasha climbed onto the ledge of the fountain and sat down beside me.

             
“No, I’m not.  I could never take the place of his Order, his destiny, his family…” My voice broke on the last word and I choked back a sob. Natasha put an arm around me and sighed.

             
“There is a way-“

             
“I’ll do it,” I proclaimed immediately.

             
“Hear me out, dear.” She patted my hand. “It isn’t that easy.”

             
“I don’t want easy.  I want possible,” I assured her.

             
“Persephone, the Queen of the Underworld, wasn’t always connected to the Underworld.  She became connected after she-“

             
“-ate a pomegranate from the grove,” I finished for her.  She nodded gravely.

             
“It connected her…but it also trapped her.” She continued as her eyes searched mine to ensure that I understood the gravity of this new possibility, “Forever.”

             
“So, eating a pomegranate would connect my soul to the Underworld, therefore allowing Finn to be with me,” I connected the dots.  A bubble of hope began to grow in my heart and I laughed out loud. “It’s such an easy fix!  I’ll just have to find a way to take a pomegranate from the-“

             
“No, Stasia.” She placed both hands on my cheeks, forcing me to focus on her next words. “Don’t forget the most important part. You would be connected to the Underworld, because you would be trapped there.”

             
My hope bubble sprung a leak and deflated into a limp, worthless fraction of its former self.  I could eat the pomegranate that would forever connect me to the Underworld and allow me to be with Finn…only if I gave up my own destiny.  Another slice of anger cut through my heart and I faced Natasha.

             
“This isn’t fair, Natasha!  I love him!  Who cares if I don’t have a connection to the Underworld!” I threw up my hands in frustration.

             
“The decisions of the Queen affect us all, Stasia.  But she
is
the Queen.  Once decided, her choices cannot be challenged.  She will not hesitate to punish those who stray,” she explained ominously.

             
“Just because she’s pissed off about her own past, she wants to ruin everyone else’s?” My voice began to rise as the helpless feeling burned inside of me. “Where is the decency in that?”

             
“She is very bitter, and she is very powerful.  That is a lethal combination.  But one that must be respected.”

             
“I want to go now,” I declared through gritted teeth.

             
“There are two more hours until midnight,” she said gently. “It is best to-“

             
“I don’t care what’s best!” I lashed out at her, immediately regretting it and lowering my voice, “I have to do something.  I can’t sit around and stew on this for two more hours.  There is too much at stake.  Please Natasha,” I pleaded with her.  She searched my eyes and let out a breath.

             
“As you wish.  But you must promise to follow my instructions without fail.  It is vital to the awakening once your soul is ready to return.”  I nodded.  Suddenly, my own death seemed insignificant and petty compared to the all-consuming anger that was now coursing through my body. 

~~~~~

              “Once your soul separates, you will realize right away it is much different than a reverie,” Natasha disclosed. “The link between your body and soul will be almost non-existent.  When the link between the soul and the physical body is severed, the universe strives to scatter the energy and re-allocate it elsewhere.”

             
“Does it do that to body-less souls?  The ones who have really died?” Phoebe asked curiously.

             
“No.  Once the body dies, the soul goes through a slight transformation.  Its energy is no longer of use to this realm,” she explained to Phoebe quickly, and then turned her attention back to me. “It will feel as if you are literally being pulled from every direction.  It can be very strong at times, but don’t panic.  You are strong enough to resist it.  The essence of who you are at your core is the one thing that will prevent the re-allocation of your energy.  If you center yourself and continue to look inward, you’ll be fine.”

             
“How will I find the entrance to the Underworld?” I seriously doubted that a neon OPEN sign would be blinking in Persephone’s window.  Although that would be extremely helpful.

             
“The Underworld will find you.”

             
“Let’s say the Underworld is taking the day off-“ I began, but quickly shut my mouth when Natasha sent me a look that told me this was not the time for jokes.  It was an automatic self-preservation mechanism that I couldn’t seem to shut off.  Thankfully Carmen spoke up.

             
“And this serum.  You know for a fact it works?” she asked Natasha cynically from her seat beside me on the couch.

             
“I would not allow anything to enter Stasia’s body that was not fail-proof.” The dark tone blanketing Natasha’s voice prevented anyone from arguing with her.

             
“Then I’m going with her.”

             
“What?!” My head jerked over to Carmen in hopes that she had momentarily lost her mind.  Unfortunately, her unwavering gaze met mine and I knew that trying to talk her out of it would be pointless.

             
“I’m going.  I don’t care what you say.” She raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to challenge her.

             
“Me too,” Phoebe declared.

             
“No!” I pleaded, “This is too dangerous!”

             
“I’ll stay here with Natasha and Liam to help protect your bodies,” Willow offered, confessing to me that this plan had already been decided upon behind my back.

             
“Liam, please talk them out of it.” I sent him an imploring look.

             
“I know from personal experience, it is always beneficial to surround yourself with the people who love you the most.”  Well he was obviously no help.

             
“He has a point,” Natasha conceded.

             
“You are willing to risk an eternity in the Underworld…for me.” I stared at them, waiting for them to start laughing and tell me they were just kidding.  They had to realize how ridiculous this sounded.  What if their souls didn’t make it back?  They would be trapped forever! 

             
“Yes, I would not hesitate to risk my life for you,” Carmen proclaimed seriously.

             
“Ditto,” Phoebe said as she put her hands on her hips.  A wave of relief washed over me and I threw my arms around Carmen. Phoebe hopped up from the loveseat and joined the embrace.  Tears were streaming down my face as I sat back and struggled to understand why everyone in my life was willing to risk everything for me.  It was just ludicrous.  But the relief was so great, I had no more argument left in me.  To have two of my best friends with me on my journey was more than I could ever ask for.  The hard truth of the matter remained at the forefront of my mind, however.  The stakes had just gotten much, much higher.