Awake (22 page)

Ignoring her, I moved closer to the room. “That
is
my name. I didn’t lie about my feelings for you.”

“Well, thanks so much for that tiny piece of honesty,” she spat bitterly. “Now get out.”

Rubbing my hand over face, I blurted, “I love you.”

“You can stop lying now.”

“I didn’t lie about that either.”

“You murder everyone you
love
?”

“You have five days of ceremonies left.”

“Yeah, believe me, I’m counting, too.”

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. Her icy reception was no shock but it did hurt. “Look, there is nothing I can do until the morning of the sacrifice.” I paused, expecting her to say something. “It’s the only time you will be far enough away from everyone. You will be cleansed in the lake again and you’ll do it alone for thirty minutes.”

Hope widened her eyes and she stepped off the bed. “They think I’m actually going to stay there? I know I had to go in again but for that long? They’ll stay away for half an hour the day they try to kill me?”

“Yes. They will be there but back far enough that we’ll have a good head start. No one is permitted to be within fifty feet of you.” I winced as it all sounded so ridiculous now. “They don’t want your cleansing to be…contaminated.”

She raised her eyebrow.

“I know, Scarlett. I know…now.” I put her plate down on the table. “That,” I said, tipping my chin in the direction of her bandaged arm. “Was an eye opener for me. I felt sick seeing you hurt and all I wanted to do was leap in and stop it from happening. I can’t change what they just did to you and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life, but I can help you now. The final ceremony, I’ll be the other side of the lake, hiding. When I say, you run to me and we’ll be gone.”

Her eyebrow rose yet again. “How can I trust you?”

I was waiting for that. “I have made a
huge
mistake, many huge mistakes actually. But you have to understand, Scarlett, my whole life I have believed what I was told. It is all I’ve ever known. I never questioned it, just like you never questioned your parents until you started remembering.”

Her eyes narrowed a fraction at the mention of her parents. “I need you to answer my questions
honestly
.” I nodded. “How did you meet them?”

“Your parents?”

“No, Donald and Fiona.”

“Right. Sorry. They arrived at our commune when I was a kid. Had similar beliefs but, like I said, theirs made more sense.” Scarlett snorted, and I couldn’t fault her for it not now I saw everything so clearly. “And it wasn’t long before they were running the place, maybe a week. They told us about the fire in the warehouse and how you were kidnapped.”

“How did they find me?”

Gripping the post at the end of the bed, I looked down and replied, “Scarlett, you were never lost.”

I didn’t look up to see her reaction but I felt it. “Every four years, once the yearly cycles of elements have been complete, they get a chance to… you know. When you were eight you were living in a flat and being home schooled, we couldn’t get near. Then you moved a couple of times and settled down.”

“You all knew where I was the whole time?” she whispered.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

She took an uneven breath. “Why you?”

“I’m closest to your age. My family were to move to your town and I was to enrol in high school. Then I had to get close to you, make you love me and let me take you to Ireland.”

“Well,” she said, “You did that just fine.”

“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you. I tried so hard not to but the more I did, the less I believed what I’d been taught my whole life. My dad always said that you know you are in love when someone comes along that makes you question everything. You did that, and at first I hated it.”

She didn’t react at all, just stared at me with empty eyes. “Things used to be so clear and so easy. Eternal Light came first, like any other religion. Being on the outside made me realise that religion is flawed. People twist things to suit themselves and their needs. It makes normal people fight and kill and hate. It’s supposed to be pure but people make it the most tainted thing on the planet. I didn’t see it until I saw the outside world…until I fell in love with you. Even if it were all true, I still wouldn’t let them touch you again.”

“Why?” she whispered, standing up.

I made the two steps to her, our chests almost touching. Reaching out, I tucked her hair behind her face. Just touching her again made everything slot into place. She is where I was supposed to be. We were made for each other; I was born to love and protect her and that was exactly what I was going to do. “Because your human life means more to me than my eternal one.”

Gulping, she lowered her eyes and replied, “Don’t, Noah.”

“I am so sorry. I know I’ve let you down so badly, but I won’t let them take your life. I
will
make it right, Scarlett. I promise. I understand that you can’t forgive me. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Hell, I don’t deserve anything from you. But
please
trust me one last time, so that I can get you out of here.”

“Why can’t you call my parents or the police?”

“No phone,” I said. “I ditched it when I got back. We don’t get reception out here anyway. If I leave and they put two and two together… Scarlett, this is
so
dangerous. I don’t want to risk raising their suspicion. I’m terrified that they will take you and that’ll be it. We get
one
chance, and this is the only way I can think of that stands a shot.”

“I don’t know…” she said, trailing off and frowning. “This could be a test. You could be lying.”

“Why else would I get you to run, Scarlett?”

She gripped her hair and sighed sharply. “I don’t know! I don’t know anything anymore. Everything is so screwed up and I…I…” She burst into tears and fell against my chest.

I hadn’t expected that. I didn’t think she would ever want to be near me again.

For the first time in days, I held her again. I was complete. I had to get her away from here. I needed her to live a full life the way everyone was supposed to. Sacrificing someone for your own sake was selfish, no matter how it was dressed up. Scarlett deserved everything she wanted. She didn’t owe us her life. We had no right to take hers.

I held her close, burying my head in her shoulder, breathing her in. It was very likely to be the last time I’d have my arms around her. I memorised everything, the way she clung to me, the way she fit perfectly against me, the softness of her hair, the perfect scent of her skin.

“Shh, it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. Trust me, beautiful girl.
Trust me
.”

She pulled away first, and I resisted the urge to grab her back.

“I don’t have a choice anymore.”

“I promise I won’t let you down, not again. Now you need to eat that,” I said, nodding to the food on the side. “And everything else you’re offered, okay?”

Stubbornly, she folded her arms over her chest, ready to argue.

“I mean it, Scarlett. We are going to be
running
from these people, and I need you to have all the strength you’ve got.”

“Fine,” she replied. “Where do we go?”

“Through the forest and into town. There are two police stations there. Depending on where we come out depends on which one we go to. We will maybe have a one or two-minute head start. We run as fast as we can without looking back. I will get you to safety and back to your parents.”

“What happens to you?”

Gulping, I shrugged, genuinely not knowing. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll leave and you will never see me again.”

Her eyes hardened. “If they find you?”

“I’ll go to a city. They won’t look there. With any hope, the police will pick them up anyway.”

“Your parents?”

“Are dangerous. I love them, I can’t help that, and as much as it kills me to hand them over – because they’re victims, too – they won’t stand by and let me help you. I will tell the police everything. I know it’s the right thing to do. If they killed someone because I didn’t give them up…”

She nodded once and sat back down. “Don’t make me hate you all over again.”

That hurt. “I won’t. Never again, Scarlett. I have to go. Try to calm down the attitude. We don’t want them to be on high alert.”

“I know,” she replied.

“I’ll see you later.”

Fiona was reading in the living room when I left Scarlett’s room. She looked up and smiled. “How is she?”

“Hungry. She seems to be doing well, doesn’t she?”

“I think so. I had hoped she would have understood when I explained on the first night but I think she is now. I am grateful for that. This is so much easier now she is beginning to believe.”

“Beginning to?”

“I think there is a little way to go. There are things she still doesn’t understand but we haven’t had a chance to go through everything yet. She is reading but there is a lot.”

I nodded. “There is. We have had years and she only gets eight days. I think she’s extraordinary for coming this far.”

“I completely agree, Noah.”

“I’ll see you at later, Fiona.”

Smiling, she nodded and then went back to her reading. It was dark when I left. Thick grey clouds coated the sky. I used to find beauty in all weather but bleak summed up how I felt right now. I wanted to get her out, and I would try, but that didn’t mean I’d be able to do it.

***

Donald and Fiona were outside with Scarlett when I left my house. They were showing her the gardens where we grow crops. She looked so uninterested but she watched everything they did and listened to everything they said.

Her long hair blew in the light wind and she wrapped it in her hand, throwing it over one shoulder. She was beautiful, full of life and passion. It had to work; I had to get her out. Whatever it cost me, I had to get her away.

I slowly walked over to them. Yesterday was the first time I was allowed to see her one on one and I didn’t want to push it but I still couldn’t stop myself from going to her.

“Morning,” I said as I approached.

Donald and Fiona stood; Scarlett already was. She wasn’t sure how to play things, whether she should ignore me or reply. I needed her to act angry but still respond, as that’s what was expected of her.

“Good morning, Noah. Would you like to help pick tomatoes?” Fiona said.

Scarlett gripped the wicker basket with both hands and I wasn’t sure if she was trying to tell me something. “I would, if that’s okay with you, Scarlett?”

Shrugging as if she didn’t give a damn, she turned around and started wrenching red tomatoes from the vine. She was good, almost too good. Of course, she would still be angry with me but I hated the extent of her anger. I was doing everything I could to make it right.

“Well, grab a basket then,” Donald said.

Donald and Fiona gave us a little space once we’d started picking. I think they liked that I was friends with her. If she wasn’t the key to our eternity, then I had no doubt that they’d be happy for us to be together.

I slowed my picking down so I could have more time with her. Donald and Fiona didn’t seem to notice or they didn’t care. If they didn’t care that I wanted more time with her then getting her out might be a little bit easier.

“How are you finding it here?” I asked when they moved a little closer.

She glanced at them before answering, wondering why I’d asked her that and understanding when she saw where they now were. “Um… It’s different.”

“Yes, it is definitely different.”

“It’s confusing.”

I nodded. “It’s an adjustment. I remember my first few weeks out of the commune; it was pretty horrible. You’re home now, though, and that’s all that matters.”

Donald and Fiona smiled at each other. They were so sure of Eternal Light and their ability to convince everyone else that they didn’t even consider that Scarlett could’ve changed me completely.

“Okay, I think we have enough for lunch,” Donald said, raising his basket. “Let’s get these to Mildred, Bernard and Kathy and then I need to help Hank and Bill finish Hank’s veranda.

That was one thing I loved about my community; everyone worked together. If you needed something, everyone was willing to help. I liked some of the core values of Eternal Light and the way we lived but there was a dangerous side to our beliefs that had to stop. Only I knew I would never be able to convince anyone that Donald and Fiona were wrong and we shouldn’t sacrifice their daughter.

“Alright,” I said, taking Donald’s basket so he could get straight off.

“Thank you, Noah. I’ll see you all at lunch then.”

He left me with Fiona and Scarlett. “Fiona, do you think once we drop these things off I could show Scarlett the chapel?”

“What chapel?” Scarlett asked.

Thank God she hadn’t seen it yet. I didn’t think she had since they were keeping her close to the commune and the chapel was a minute’s walk into the meadow.

“I think that is a lovely idea, Noah,” she replied.

Scarlett looked hopeful, wondering if we were running now. There was no way. The meadow would maybe hide us up to our knees but we needed the cover the thick forest offered. We dropped the tomatoes for the lunchtime salad off, and I led Scarlett past the houses and hall.

“Are we doing it now?” she asked once we were safely away.

“No, I just wanted to be able to talk to you in private. We won’t get many opportunities between now and the…day.”

“Why aren’t we going now?”

“Look around, Scarlett. There’s nothing but the meadow and open fields this side.” Sure we were slightly downhill and that was why the chapel wasn’t visible from the commune but we’d have to run up hill to get away and we’d be seen immediately. “They can drive over the fields, we’ll be seen until we hit the forest at the far side and by that time they would’ve caught up. I’m just as desperate to get you away but we have to be smart about it. I promise you the way I have chosen to do this gives us the best possible chance.”

“I just want to leave.”

“I know and I do, too.”

Sighing, she folded her arms over her stomach. “Sorry. Are you really showing me this chapel then?”