Avoiding Alpha (Alpha Girl) (16 page)

When she was finally still, the doctor picked up the discarded pile of shots with shaking hands. “I need to get more meds. I’m not sure how long this will hold her. Let’s get her back to the infirmary.”

Max gathered Meredith up in his arms again. No one said anything as they left.

I met Adrian’s gaze. “I did something wrong. I messed up.”

“No, I don’t think you did.”

No matter what the guys said, I had to have done something wrong. “I fucked it up. That’s the only answer.” I hugged myself as I shivered.

“Maybe we had it wrong from the beginning.” Adrian cursed.

“How? What did we miss?” I felt lightheaded, and swayed on my feet.

Dastien’s scent hit me before he wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned into him as I looked out over the edge of the building. The whole roof smelled like burnt candles, potion, and Meredith’s blood and puke, but I didn’t care. I stared out into the night, and wondered how I’d messed up so badly. I’d followed the spell exactly like it was written, but something had gone wrong.

The hardest part to swallow was that I’d hurt Meredith, and that made me ill. I shivered in the night.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Dastien said.

“Yes, it was. I meddled in something I know nothing about, and now Meredith is paying the price.” It wasn’t fair. “I should’ve taken the deal. I should’ve agreed to what Luciana wanted.”

“You really trust that she’d follow through with her end of the bargain?”

If I was being honest with myself, no, but Meredith’s life was on the line. Wasn’t it worth the gamble?

“It’s not yours to fix this problem. It never was,” Dastien said. “This happened before you got here and it had nothing to do with you. You tried to help, and Meredith’s still hanging on. We might think of something else…”

We were quiet for a second.

“It might not have been my problem to solve before, but it is now.” My mother didn’t call me stubborn for nothing. I didn’t care what I had to do. This curse wasn’t killing my friend. I’d never let that happen.

Meredith’s breath rattled in and out as I sat in the leather chair. I watched her sleep, trying to figure out where I’d gone wrong. My eyes felt heavy after doing the witchcraft, but I didn’t care. Even with the lights off, I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to stay awake in case something happened with Meredith.

I hugged my knees into my chest as I thought back on the past twenty-four hours. This day had sucked. Right up there with the day that I woke up in this same room seven weeks ago.

The newly replaced door opened, letting in just enough light to blind me, before it closed again. I couldn’t see him, but I could smell Dastien’s scent as he soundlessly made his way to my side.

He crouched in front of me, grabbing my ankle and rubbing his thumb up and down it. “Where’s Max?”

“Their parents called for an update. He was upset, so he went for a walk.”

He’d been really nice about everything, saying I hadn’t made it any worse, but I wasn’t so sure that was true. I couldn’t get the image of Meredith convulsing on the roof out of my head.

“How about I take you back to your room?”

That sounded like a terrible idea. Being alone in my room when Meredith’s side was empty? “No. I want to stay here. Just in case she wakes up or something.”

“
Cherie
. She’s not going to wake up tonight.”

A tear rolled down my cheek. Would she ever wake up again?

My heart was breaking, making it hard to breathe. “I need to go back to my cousin’s first thing in the morning.”

“No.”

“It’s all we’ve got now. I tried…I really tried. Maybe I didn’t believe in the spell enough to make it work. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough.” It didn’t matter. I’d failed and that was all that I could think about. God. If I couldn’t fix this with spells and potions, then I had to try bargaining.

“
Non. Cherie. Non. S’il vous plaît
.” His hand tightened around my ankle. “This morning I…you can’t. I don’t trust them. You
can’t
go back there.”

I wiped my eyes. “What else am I supposed to do? Let Meredith die?”

Dastien stood and picked me up from the chair. I was about to protest, but he sat back down with me in his lap. I curled up against him as I watched Meredith. “What did she do to deserve this?”

“All I know is that she was off campus at a field party with some of the coven a few years ago. Apparently Luciana found out about it and broke up the party.”

“So other people were cursed?”

“No. Only Meredith.”

Why Meredith and no one else? “What did she do?” A part of me thought it’d be easier to swallow this if I knew why it was happening. The other part of me knew that nothing would make me understand.

“Nothing to deserve this.” He set me on my feet as he stood. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“I’m scared that if I leave, she’ll be gone when I wake up.”

“If she gets any worse, Dr. Gonzales will come get us. Okay?”

He had a point. “Okay.” I leaned down to Meredith. In the dark, her skin was so ghostly it nearly glowed. “I’m so sorry. I’ll fix this. I swear. Just hang in.” She was like ice. I pulled up the extra blanket that was folded at the foot of her bed, and tucked it under her chin.

“Come on,
cherie
. Let’s go.” His hands squeezed my shoulders as he steered me toward the door. I let him lead me out of the room.

The farther down the hallway we got, the heavier my feet were. My limbs felt like lead. “I’m exhausted,” I said as I leaned into his side.

“It’s been a long day.”

“It feels like a million years since I woke up.” It was nuts how quickly things could go wrong. My luck had always been a little on the shitty side, but this was pushing ridiculous. If it was anyone but Meredith… I wanted to stomp my foot and curse the fates.

We stepped into the still night air. The thought of going back to my room without Meredith sharing the next room hit hard.

Dastien guided me away from the dorms. “This way.”

The only thing in this direction was forest and the private cabins. I’d never been to Dastien’s, but we obviously weren’t headed back to the dorms. The events of the day overshadowed any excitement that I normally would’ve felt at finally seeing his place.

The cabin was set deep in the trees. As I took in the surrounding woods, I realized that it wasn’t too far from Mr. Dawson’s, a little ways behind and to the right. The trees provided privacy that some of the other cabins didn’t have.

The design was identical to the other ones. One-story with a porch on the front. It was all natural wood and stone colors, making it blend in with the surroundings. Dastien opened the door and waved me inside.

I was shocked that it wasn’t the clichéd bachelor pad, except for a flat screen and game controllers on the coffee table. His place was spotless. If I had a pair of white gloves on, I was sure I could touch any surface in the cabin and not pick up any dirt.

The space was basically one big room. Along the back wall was a kitchen with a breakfast nook identical to Mr. Dawson’s. A dark wood coffee table and a leather couch created a nice little living room nook around the TV. Along the right wall was Dastien’s bed, covered in a black comforter. It was nice. Cozy. Maybe that was because it smelled like Dastien in here, like home.

“Nice place.”

“Thanks.”

Above the headboard were three bookshelves, which seemed a little dangerous to me, but with the limited space, I got why he’d put them there. I toed off my shoes and climbed on his bed to get a closer look. He had a lot of science fiction, but also a bunch of fantasy. Some of the same ones that I’d read. He also had a ton of non-fiction, which I usually stayed away from. Lots of psychology ones. Some texts on healing with herbs. A whole series on wildlife and survival.

I turned at the smell of beef browning. “You cook?”

He looked at me over his shoulder. “It’s good to know how to make your own food when you’re a werewolf. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we eat a lot.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. I just started to notice that.” I sat down on his bed and looked around. My knee bounced and I couldn’t stop fidgeting with the hem of my T-shirt as I worried about Meredith. That situation was a total mess, and I had no idea where to go from there. I felt like a total failure. Helpless. Hopeless.

I pushed those thoughts away before I started crying. Wallowing in my own self-pity wouldn’t help Meredith. This wasn’t about me. It was about her.

I lay down on his bed, my knee still tapping out a rhythm. Being in Dastien’s cabin was slightly terrifying. I wasn’t scared of him, but of expectations. He was older. More experienced.

Christ. My parents would flip out if they knew I was here.

“You okay?” Dastien said from the kitchen.

I propped myself up on my elbows. “Sure.” My squeaky voice was probably giving as much away as my bond was.

His brow lifted.

“I’m fine.”

He didn’t say anything as he considered me. We both knew I was lying.

“Sorry.” I walked over to him. “Can I help?”

“Sure.”

“What are you making?”

“Spaghetti. It’s fast. I’d say you should go straight to sleep, but you haven’t eaten in a while and you used some energy doing the spell.” He pointed to a bottom cabinet. “Pot is down there.”

I grabbed the pot, filled it with water, and set it on the stove to boil. That done, I hopped up on the counter to watch as he stirred a jar of sauce into the meat. It wasn’t a fancy meal, but he was right—I hadn’t eaten in a while.

We went through the motions of cooking, eating and cleaning up in comfortable silence. Maybe he was right and I’d wake up in the morning and have some brilliant plan.

“Go on. Get ready for bed.” He handed me a T-shirt and a pair of his gym shorts.

I stepped into his bathroom and washed my face. I used my finger to brush my teeth with a little bit of his toothpaste. His clothes were ridiculous on me. The shorts hung past my knees. I tugged on the drawstring and rolled them a few times. His T-shirt was more like a dress. I laughed at myself in the mirror. But then I couldn’t resist smelling the shirt. I was so keeping it.

When I came out, Dastien grinned. I shrugged. “Just because we’re mates doesn’t mean we’re the same size.”

“Thank God for that. I like that you’re a little person.”

I punched his arm. “I’m not a little person. I passed that status by three whole inches.”

“You’re my little person.”

Okay. I’d give him that.

“Get in the bed. I’ll take the couch.” He disappeared into the bathroom. I nearly protested, but the nerves came back. He was right. Unless he was going furry, separate sleeping spaces would be good. For now.

I climbed into his bed, but it was weird being there. The scent of him filled my senses. I relaxed, and the imaginary door that kept me from getting visions disappeared. I saw night after night of him sleeping. Sometimes peacefully. Sometimes not. One time he cried.

What had made him so sad?

I was staring at the ceiling, trying to make myself fall asleep but failing, when he finally came out of the bathroom. He flicked off the light. “Goodnight,
cherie
.”

“Goodnight.”

I lay there for a while. Thinking about nothing and everything. I huffed. This was so pointless. There was no way I was going to sleep, and I couldn’t lay here staring at the ceiling. I kicked at the sheets as I turned one way and then another, trying to find a comfortable spot. It wasn’t the bed’s fault. It was mine.

Resorting to counting my breaths was the only thing I could do. I finally sank into sleep, and a dream grabbed hold of me. I watched as Meredith convulsed on the roof. Only this time, after Dr. Gonzales injected her, she turned to me and said, “This is your fault.”

I woke up gasping for breath in between sobs.

The mattress dipped, and Dastien pulled me toward him until we were spooning. I stiffened for a second, but the memory of the dream overwhelmed me again and I pulled him in closer to me.

He held me until I stopped crying, running his hand down my hair and brushing kisses on my head. “You’re going to get through this,” he whispered to me.

But I didn’t want to get through it. I wanted Meredith to get through it. And for her and Donovan to have a happy life together.

I was going back to
La Alquelarre
in the morning.

“Would you rather I shift?” Dastien said.

“No.” I didn’t want him furry tonight. I liked being held by him. I needed that.

“Okay. Then, sleep.” Dastien’s command was backed with power, and I faded into a deep, dreamless sleep before I could fight it.

Sunlight was streaming through the curtains when I woke up. Dastien’s arms were tight around me. His hot breath fanned the back of my neck. I wondered how late it was.

I searched the room for a clock, but I couldn’t see one from where I was. Why didn’t he have an alarm clock?

“It’s still early,” Dastien said from behind me.

I froze for a second. “Did I wake you?”

“In a way. I felt your bond go crazy with worry.”

“Do you always feel when I wake up?”

He pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. “You didn’t know you were my alarm clock?”

I grinned. “What did you do before me?”

“I set the alarm on my phone. But now, when I’m not in your bed as a wolf, I don’t need one. I know when you wake up, and I get ready so I can meet you for breakfast.”

I thought about it for a second. “I can’t tell if that’s uber creepy or kind of sweet…I’m leaning toward creepy.”

“That’s the second time in twenty-four hours that you’ve called me creepy. What’s so wrong with wanting to have breakfast with you?” He squeezed me tighter.

“What time is it?”

He rolled over and grabbed his cell. “Nine.”

“Any word about Meredith?”

“No.”

I had to stay calm. No news was good news. “I’m going to throw on my clothes from yesterday and then I’m going to see her.”

“Hey,” Dastien said, holding onto my hand before I could fully roll out of bed.