Atonement (Heart of Stone) (11 page)

“With you or the kids?” I teased and was rewarded with a
stunning grin, his tight scar creasing against his wide beam and adding more
magnificence to his good-looking face.

“Both” he laughed as he walked away, leaving me once
again with the calm of the water current swaying against the incline of the
banking; its ebb and flow reminding me of life, of my life. The ups and downs
were a constant but through everything, like the water knew it would lead to
the ocean, I knew Mason would always love me.

I watched Jay place his mouth on Ava’s soft hair and my
gut twisted in rage and jealousy. Did he want to fuck my wife? If he did he
didn’t appreciate the use of his legs, or his arms… or his neck actually. I
would snap them all, with a single fucking twist of my hand.

He stood beside her and took Layla’s baby from her before
he said something, laughed and then walked away.

He ambled towards me, his gaze stoic but I could see the
anger in him; his deep inhalation and stiff shoulders as he saw me gave it
away.

“She’s hurting, go easy on her” he stated and I scoffed.

“Well unlike you, I’m not allowed to fucking talk to her”
I spat with resentment as I narrowed my eyes on him.

He shook his head sadly at me. What the fuck? Who the
hell did he think he was?

“If you hadn’t got my god-daughter in your arms I’d rip
that fucking smirk off your face, arsehole.”

Give him his due, he had courage. He came close to my
face, his anger sparking like electricity off his body. “It isn’t a smirk, its
fucking pity. I pity you,
arsehole
. You lost something good there; one
of the only good women residing on this sorry excuse of a planet. I just backed
you up
arsehole
so do not fucking treat me like shit on your shoe when I
just fucking polished them for you.”

He shook his head again and scoffed with distaste before
he walked away.

Wonderful!

I watched her for a while, the noises and laughter from
inside the house drifted into my senses and I smiled unconsciously as I heard
George’s booming laughter. My heart and gut leapt at the sound. It wasn’t just
women whose souls sang at the sound of their children’s happiness.

“Daddyyyy” Katie shrieked, her loud decibels alerting Ava
to the fact that I was here as she turned around. Our eyes locked and her pain
and hunger both stoned me. God, I had hurt her so much. She was pale and gaunt
and I knew she hadn’t been sleeping; she never could without me beside her.

I needed to fix this, if not for just her health. She was
slowly shrivelling inside herself, I could see it, her body was shutting down
against the pain and her pain doubled mine.

Jesus Christ, I fucking loved her with an ache that
wouldn’t bate; an intensity that wouldn’t ever diminish and my body craved her
with a force that frightened me. My soul yearned for her and my heart shivered
for her beat, the beat that kept mine in sync.

She kept my gaze as she stood then reached into her
pocket and pulled out her phone as she moved slowly towards me. A slight frown
pulled her eyes when she looked down at whoever was displayed on her screen as
Katie came barrelling into me. “Daddy, daddy, I missed you sooo much.”

Her huge grin and twinkling eyes brought my lips upwards
into a huge smile of my own as I swooped her up and spun her round, hugging her
tight and inhaling the sweet cherry essence of her shampoo, “Hello, sweetie. I
missed you too. Have you been good?”

She nodded wildly as George smiled up at me, his own
excitement held tight within him as his characteristic self-control mirrored
mine. “We’ve been super good, haven’t we Georgie?”

“We have daddy, I promise.”

I smirked at them both, their desperation in relating
their outstanding behaviour actually gave away the fact that maybe they had
been quite the opposite.

“Okay, well if mommy tells me the same then I think that
maybe you both deserve ice-cream…”

“With chocolate buttons?” George asked his usual question
with bright eyes but Katie frowned over my shoulder.

“What’s wrong with mommy?” she asked quietly and I turned
immediately, Katie’s apprehension worrying me.

Ava was on her knees on the ground, one hand held the
phone to her ear as the other palmed the grass in a desperate effort to keep her
tiny body upright.

Her shoulders were heaving and I could see her body
tremble from the fifty or so feet between us.

Fuck!

I planted Katie on the floor. “Stay here” I ordered,
giving them no budge in protest to my words and pounded the grass under my feet
as my wife sank lower, the phone now slipping from her hand and a deep wail
left her mouth as she tipped her head back and screamed at the sky.

“Ava?”

I skidded to my knees beside her as the open pain in her
face wrenched at my gut. She turned her wide eyes to me, the grief and sorrow
radiated potently at me as her whole body swayed and her mouth fell open when
another anguished howl forced its way out of her lungs and into the air.

The party was beginning to descend on us as I grabbed
Ava’s arms and held tight, slightly shaking her until she registered my
presence. “Ava?”

Her head shook as Nate crouched beside her but she still
locked onto me, I could read her desolation as she silently asked me for
comfort and support. “Baby, please, tell me?”

Her expression was full of disbelief and misery but she
formed the one word needed to explain her despair, “George.”

“Oh, baby, no… no Ava.” I pulled her onto my lap tight,
holding her against me like a vice as I tried to pull the grief from her and
take it as my own. She let me, her bleakness making her unreceptive and docile.

Her tiny body shook with huge trembles as she fought to
fill her lungs with much needed oxygen. A strangled choke caught in her throat
and I gripped her chin lightly, turning her face to me as I tried to comfort
her, “Baby, breathe, in… come on…”

Her throat bobbed manically as she struggled to grasp the
air she needed and release the air already trapped inside her.

Her body was shutting down as her lungs fought to
function and her heart stilled its beat. “Ava! Breathe!”

Courtney appeared from nowhere and the slap of her palm
on Ava’s cheek was loud in the quiet. Ava gasped and a huge sob erupted
forcefully from her mouth as she broke down against me, her small hands
grabbing huge clumps of my shirt as she crumpled in on herself, taking my soul
with her.

“Ssshhh, baby, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going
anywhere.”

She nodded against my chest as I turned to Nate. “Can we
borrow the jet, she needs to be there?”

“Of course, I’ll get it ready.” He patted my shoulder,
slid his hand over Ava’s head and disappeared up to Liv who was holding my
children back from their mommy. I glanced their way and tried to give them a
reassuring smile but I’m sure it resembled a strangled grimace.

Katie, bless her heart, lifted her hand in a small wave
and nodded to me. Her attempt at maturity fisted my heart and I blew her a
kiss, letting her know her support was received and consumed.

George stood stock still and silent, his eyes never
leaving his mother and I knew he was fighting with himself in his need to
comfort her. They were close, their bond as close as Katie’s and mine, and I
knew he was hurting just by watching his mom hurt.

“I want to go” Ava said quietly and I nodded, manoeuvring
her so I could stand and still keep my hold on her. I scooped her up and lifted
myself off the ground; grateful for the many workouts I did as my ability to
lift us both upright was done with ease.

Sliding an arm under her, I pulled her in closer and
stroked my knuckles across her cheek. “We’ll do this together, Ava. I’m going
with you and I am not leaving your side.”

I could see her argument filter across her face but she
sighed and nodded, her knowledge that she would need me gave her anger a push
to the side for the moment.

“Yeah, but put me down Mason, I don’t want Katie and
Georgie to see me like this.”

I gazed at her, wanting and needing to hold her to me. I
had missed her closeness, longed for this intimacy even if the situation wasn’t
exactly great, I still needed her near but I conceded for the time being and
lowered her gently until her feet touched the grass.

Her legs buckled slightly but she dragged in a breath and
wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before she approached the twins where
she crouched before them and patted her thighs, one for each.

They scrambled on-board and hugged her tightly, as though
they were afraid to let go.

“Is it Grandpa?” George asked with incredible
perceptiveness. Ava smiled sadly at him but nodded. She was always as truthful
with the children as possible, apart from our many arguments, she always said
the lies she lived through as a child had been some of the things that had
broken her.

She planted a soft kiss on both their heads then gave
them both a firm look as she sucked in a deep breath, “Grandpa has gone to live
with Aunty Katie in the clouds, she’s going to look after him now but you know,
he’ll always be here with us… always….”

Her voice cracked and she coughed slightly as I bent my
knees beside her and pulled Katie onto my knee as her face crumpled and a big
fat tear slipped from her eye.

The children were silent as they absorbed what this
meant, both of them too young to actually understand that they would never see
George again but this was part of life, something they would always be faced
with.

“Grandpa loved you very much mommy” George whispered and
my heart broke for this little guy, even through his own grief he was more
concerned about Ava’s. “He wouldn’t want you to be sad; he always said you had
a pretty smile and I think… I think he wants to…to see it, mommy.”

“Oh Jesus Christ” Ava blew out as her heart fractured and
she pulled George against her, holding him until I thought he would go blue.

“Mommy and daddy have to take a trip over to Grandpa’s
and I need you both to be good for Aunty Courtney and Uncle Greg, okay?” I
asked them both as I caught Courtney’s tear streaked face in a silent question but
she nodded firmly and approached the kids.

“Come on peanuts, kiss your mom and let’s go grab some
things.” Courtney kissed Ava’s head and her hand shot up to Courtney’s in a
frenzied grab.

“You okay, hun?” Ava asked with a squeak in her voice.
Courtney nodded and smiled faintly but her eyes held the question we all needed
answering. “Heart attack” Ava answered the silent enquiry softly and Courtney
nodded with a stiff jerk, her own attempts at holding back her emotion
tightening her throat and draining her energy. “I need to bring him home
Courtney, I need him home.”

I wrapped my fingers into Ava’s hair and tilted her head
slightly until she was looking up at me, “And he will be, baby. I promise.”

She nodded, the action tightening my hold on her slightly
but I knew she needed my dominance and direction right now. She needed me to
take over, pull her away from the responsibly and managing whilst she grounded
her grief and took control of it. “Thank you.”

She smiled at me, her soft lips pulling upwards slightly
but it didn’t reach her eyes, they were hollow and lifeless and I couldn’t help
feeling that maybe I had put that deadness into them. “I love you, Ava. Remember
you’re my little warrior, you can do this. You are so strong, so god damn
strong, you hear me?”

She gulped and nodded. “I know.”

I grabbed her hand as Nate nodded at me to inform me of
his jet’s readiness and we kissed the kids before I led her to the car, her
hand held tightly in mine as I supported her, not just physically but
emotionally and mentally.

She would need me now and maybe my thoughts were a little
selfish when my insides warmed at the opportunity to have her near even if she
was spiritually not with me.

But I would take anything I could get at the moment…
anything.

I could feel Mason’s stare on me as I kept my face turned
into the small window beside me, the whiteness of the clouds below strangely
giving me a sense of peace.

I couldn’t help feeling close to George up here, stupid I
know, but it was a little piece of fantasy that I didn’t want to let go of.

“Ava, look at me” Mason’s stroked his fingers across my
outstretched ones as I rested them on the armrest of the plush seat. I always
loved travelling on Nate’s small but very significant jet, its extravagance
afforded an easy flight but today it didn’t hold the same indulgence. It was
taking me somewhere I didn’t want to go, somewhere I would never go again after
this visit, somewhere I would have to face something I had never wanted to
face…ever.

“Ava.”

I turned my head slowly, my hair still resting on the
glass as I slid my eyes to his. I didn’t reply, just gazed at him silently waiting
for his words, the words I knew were coming but wouldn’t make a speck of
difference to the situation.

One side of his face was squashed against the headrest as
his soft eyes sought mine, “Baby, talk to me.”

I scoffed faintly, “There’s nothing to say, Mason.”

“There’s plenty to fucking say.”

“Alright” I corrected myself, “there’s nothing I have to
say that you want to hear.”

He sighed deeply but didn’t shift his gaze, just held on
to me with the deep devotion that always seemed to envelope me and offer comfort
when I needed it… not today. “Just say it Ava, whether I want to hear it or
not, just bloody say it.”

I could hear the annoyance and acceptance in his tone but
I also picked up the slight fear in the pitch and I smirked inwardly. “Nah,
honestly, you really don’t wanna hear it.”

His teeth clenched as his jaw tightened before his
fingers curled around my wrist in a tight hold. “Ava, I’m doing my damndest not
to snap here, but I can tell you, you’re making it so fucking difficult. Fine,
don’t talk about us but just say something… anything.”

He stared at me as I stared at him, both of us dragging
through the deep emotions we held. His eyes narrowed as mine fired, “Did you
fuck her?”

He closed his eyes tightly as his fists clenched and his
jaw became so rigid when he pulled air through his clamped teeth it whistled
with a squeal. “No.”

Just a simple word. That’s all he had to offer, to
mollify me with. It didn’t work.

I pursed my lips and turned my face back to the window
but his hand lifted to my chin and turned me back around to him. “Fuck – off –
Mason” I spat at him.

His face darkened but his eyes lit up with a fire. “Why
do you always think I’ve fucked her?”

My eyes widened as I snorted quite loudly, “Because you
usually have, Mason.”

“Did you fuck Kade?”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed at him. I mean could he not
come up with his own topic for an argument instead of using mine?

He shot out of his chair, his anger propelling him with a
force that went against nature as he fixed me with a fierce glare and a hand at
each side of my head on the headrest to my chair. “You wanna play silly games
Ava? Oh, I’m all for games right now.”

He was livid, I could tell by the way the tic in his
cheek twitched rapidly and his pupils dilated so much his eyes widened to black
orbs.

“Games? Games? Fuck me, Mason. You’re the one who’s been
playing hide and fucking seek for eight years. Using me as a pawn in the
fucking chess game that I didn’t even know we were playing.”

“Uh-uh Ava, I didn’t involve you in anything, I made sure
you weren’t involved in anything. That’s the way I played the
game
, so
deal with it.”

“What the hell? You obnoxious bastard” I raged as I
palmed his chest and tried to push at the solid wall of muscle, “I have just
lost the only father figure I have ever had and you’re stood here, fucking
laying down the law. Barking fucking demands. Do you not think I need your
fucking support, your comfort, a little bit of damn compassion?”

He screwed his eyes shut as he exhaled, his warm breath
hitting me full force in the face and doing treacherous uninvited things to my
insides. Why did he have to be so damn arousing, so full of raw sexual power,
even arguing with him turned me on?

“Yeah, I do, but you won’t let me, Ava. You’re so bloody
distanced from me right now we may as well be on different planets.” He leaned
into me, his nose touching mine and I couldn’t hold on to the soft groan of
desire that flittered past my lips. “I’ll tell you once more and it’s up to you
whether you believe me or not. I – did – not – fuck – Rebecca. The only person
who gets my dick is you, Ava,
you
.”

And by God, I needed it right now but I swallowed it back
and clenched my thighs together. From the flash in Mason’s eyes, he didn’t miss
the tell-tale motion. His eyes dropped to my mouth as his tongue sneaked out
and wet his dry lips, my own eyes dropped to watch the erotic image and I blew
out softly, trying my hardest not to grab him and just fuck the living
daylights out of him.

Jesus Christ, George had just died and all I could think
about was fucking!

“Move” I demanded as I pushed him again, refusing my
bodies demands with fortitude I wasn’t sure I had right now.

He shook his head sadly, sighed and moved back slightly.
“Please, Mason. Not now, eh. Just not now. I can’t deal with your attitude
while I’m trying to take in the fact that I will never see the man who saved my
fucking life ever again. The man who pulled me from the darkness and lit the
bloody torch for me. You get me, Mason? You understand the game I’m trying to
play? I need this game to help me to the fucking end of the playing board.”

He rolled his lips behind his teeth as he reached out and
palmed the side of my head. He crouched before me and tipped his head to the
side as I nuzzled into the comfort of his familiar touch. “I just wanna hold
you, Ava. Love you until all this goes away, take your pain and share it with
you but I’m so scared you will never let me in again. I’m so fucking terrified
that this…this bullshit will be what finally breaks our backs, baby, snaps the
spine of our marriage. I love you so much that I…I can’t fucking breathe, my
heart beat is so fucked up my pulse thinks it’s in someone else’s body. My
blood refuses to flow into my heart in case it gets seared in the burn.”

“And my heart just feels so fucking betrayed that it
doesn’t even understand what to do anymore.” I echoed the ache with a sombre
expression but still nestled against him, needing whatever I could get from
him.

He cupped my other cheek with his other hand and rested
his forehead against mine, his eyes still wide and claiming. “I don’t know what
to say to make it better, Ava. I can’t say anything that will make it better.
Yes, I fucked up as usual by epic proportions, huge bloody dimensions of
mistakes that can never be rectified but please, please let me explain things.”

I swallowed. “Not just yet, please. Let me just deal with
this, with George, with bringing my father home. I need to get through this and
yes, I need you with me to do that, but right now I don’t think I can give us
the attention we need.”

His eyes scanned my face but he nodded against me, the
sweat on his forehead sliding between us as his ache projected through his
gaze. I slid my own hands up over his jaw, across his cheeks until I reached
his hair and then brushed my lips over his. I needed this, I needed his kiss; I
needed the feel of him on me, with me, caressing me.

“Ava…” he whispered as I opened my mouth and demanded he love
me. A soft groan left his mouth and I swallowed it as I slid my tongue into his
heat, his fingers threaded through my hair and gripped tight. The slight pain
forced my own soft moan, instigating a heavier, deeper passion in his kiss.

“Baby, please…” he breathed as his thighs slid aside mine
in the chair and he hovered over my lap, his erection throbbing against the
material of his trousers and pulsing against my belly.

My fingers found his zip as they fumbled blindly to free
his huge cock into my hand. It felt heavy and hard in my palm and I slid my
fingers around his shaft and rubbed hard as a deep gruff hum vibrated through
him, causing my own arousal to surge and slick my pussy in readiness.

I grasped his hips and pushed him up until the tip of his
crown rested on my lips. My eyes rose to look at him as his lowered to mine and
I tickled my tongue over his slit then around the head of his cock.

“Fuck” he hissed through clenched teeth and I lapped at
the pool of pre-cum that he bestowed just for me.

“Is that good?” I whispered before I slid my tongue down
the underside of him, flicking my teeth against his ribbed skin on the descent.

He shuddered and I felt him grip the headrest tighter
when I slipped a hand into his trousers and cupped his balls.

“Fuck, yes” he growled as he thrust his hips and shoved
his cock into my mouth. “Take it, Ava. You know, you know what to do.”

“And if I don’t?” I asked slowly, breaking away from him,
knowing how to play the game.

“Then I’ll fucking show you.” His hands cupped my head
still and firm as he started his own rhythm of drives into my mouth. In, out,
deeper, harder until the tip of him caught my tonsils and I relaxed my throat
to accommodate him as his plunges grew more severe in his mission to fill my
mouth with his spunk.

“Your mouth is so fucking hot, baby. Fucking your mouth
is so god damn good. I’m gonna come…Ava…Fuck…”

I slid my hands around and dug my nails into his
buttocks, the unyielding muscles tautening with his ejaculation, his cock
swelling as he burst and saturated my throat in his own unique warm cum. “Fuck,
so fucking good….” He rumbled and I smirked as I spotted Chris, our steward,
step into the cabin. His foot stuttered before he drew in a heavy breath then
turned back around and disappeared back into the cockpit.

“I think we just gave our steward a bit of a shock” I
chuckled as Mason lowered back down and rested his bare arse on my lap.

He grinned at me, “He doesn’t know us very well though,
baby. We’ve only travelled with him a couple of times. I’m sure we’ll give him
plenty more
shocks
before our travels with him cease.”

I frowned then turned my head away, not sure I liked his
confidence of our continued relationship but I remained silent. I couldn’t be
bothered with the argument at the moment; I needed to concentrate on other
things.

“I wanna fuck you until you pass out, until you beg me to
never leave your sweet pussy, but I think we’re near to landing, baby. I’m not
quite sure the pilot would circle around, even for us.”

I smiled unconsciously, thoroughly agreeing with him but
the idea of it sounded good.

He slipped off my knee and righted his clothing before he
dropped to his knees before me, ignoring the fact that Chris was stood in the
doorway waiting for us to finish.

“Paola is meeting us off the plane. I’m here, okay? I’m
right by your side Ava, and I will not fucking leave it.”

I drew in a steadying breath, the notion that we were
nearing our destination kicking my heart in the shins as a lump formed in my
throat. I nodded but didn’t reply as Mason turned to Chris, “We’re ready” he
said bluntly.

He pulled my belt around me and clipped me in as Chris
nodded once and turned back to the front of the plane.

Mason’s fingers twisted in mine and he lifted my knuckles
to his lips, giving them a soft kiss as he squeezed tightly. “Remember Ava,
you’re strong but if you’re not, then I’ll be strong for you.”

I sucked on my lips, forcing back the tears that
threatened but nodded briskly. “Good girl” he whispered before I turned back to
the window and watched as we descended through the clouds and back to earth,
all the time wishing George could make the same journey.