Athena's Ashes (36 page)

Finn pulled up a chair beside her bed and cupped her cheek, looking deep into her eyes. “I thought we’d lost you.”

“You should know by now I’m tougher than I look.”

He smiled. “Thank the stars for that. When we found you in the wreckage, you weren’t moving, your leg was broken in three places, and you’d lost a lot of blood. Luckily the
Eris
swooped in just in time, and we were able to get you here to the MYTH hospital. I’ve never seen Alistair bark orders like that before.”

“Is everyone else all right? What happened?” She studied him closely, looking for signs of pain, but Finn looked handsome as always. Clean-shaven, dressed in his captain’s uniform, and completely unharmed.

He nodded. “The
Athena’s
crew took up a stand at the edge of the river, but we were quickly overwhelmed by the hybrids. One of them shot Keva and one of the mechanics died, but the rest of us were still fighting when we saw the
Athena
take off. I was sure that was it—sure we were going to die and you were already gone. And then it exploded.” Finn gazed out the window. “She was the best ship I’ve ever flown.”

“I’m sorry. It was the only way.”

Finn sniffed and turned back to her. “I know. She’d be proud that she saved all of us. As soon as she burst into flames, the hybrids froze, like someone had cut their puppet strings. Then they collapsed. Whatever happened killed them all instantly.”

Renna closed her eyes against the pain. More deaths on her tab.

“Hey,” Finn said, touching her arm. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know. But they were family once. They didn’t deserve to die like that.”

“But we stopped Samil and put an end to all of this. It’s not perfect, but maybe it’s enough.” He stroked a piece of hair back from her forehead. “How do you feel?” His gaze dropped to her neck, and she knew he was talking about her mom.

“Conflicted. She was never there for me growing up. I hated her for so long because of that, because of this.” Renna ran a finger along the scar stretching from her ear and down her neck. “But in the end, she sacrificed herself for me. She knew what would happen if she attacked Samil, but she did it anyway. For that moment, she was my mom again.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and she brushed them away.

“It’s okay to grieve, Renna,” Finn said gently. “It’s okay to feel conflicted. She was a complicated woman. But she loved you in her own way. Hold on to that.”

She smiled at him through watery eyes. “Dammit, I wasn’t going to cry today.”

“I won’t tell.” He squeezed her hand. “I have some good news if you want it. Maybe that’ll help.”

“Of course.”

“Aldani examined you and your implant.”

Her heart jumped. “Yes?”

“He doesn’t know how, but the integration with your nervous system is complete. And it looks like it’s developed in a way that has created a symbiotic relationship. You’re still you—just enhanced.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. She should feel relieved, but instead she just felt confused. “I don’t understand.”

“You know how vaccines work, right? You inject a small part of the disease you’re trying to prevent into the person, and it allows you to develop antibodies. Well, somehow Samil’s virus did the same thing. Instead of fighting your implant, your body has started working with it. Accepting it.”

Renna shook her head. “Maybe that’ll make more sense when I’ve had a few days to think about it.”

“Whatever you need. I’m just happy you’re still you.” He traced circles across the top of her hand with his thumb, and happiness shot through her in a wave so strong it took her breath away.

“Me too,” she said, smiling at him.

A soft knock sounded at the door, and Major Dallas pushed it open. “Up for another visitor, my dear?”

Renna’s gaze snapped to him, her contentment draining away. He was the last person she wanted to see right now, and based on the sheepish expression on his face, Dallas knew it.

He didn’t wait for her answer, but strode into the room, taking up a position at the foot of her bed. “I owe you an apology, Renna.”

“You owe me more than that.” She knew she should be furious at him and at Finn, but right now she was too exhausted to summon the energy.

Dallas nodded. “I know. But let me say my piece. Commander Jayla told me what was going on after your first stop at Titan Industries. I was skeptical, but then came the attack on headquarters and it all made sense. I wasn’t expecting it to be Dr. Samil, but eventually that made sense, too. The commander kept me posted on what happened after finding Wall, and we came up with a plan we hoped would give us an advantage over Samil. The doctor obviously had spies within MYTH, and sending you out on your own seemed like the best way to draw her out.”

He ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair. “Finn protested violently. He thought we could do it another way. But Admiral Usamov and I decided this plan was our best shot. You are smart, resilient, and tough. We knew you could get it done. We made a mistake.”

Renna glowered at him. “Damn right you did. If I’d had back up, we probably could have ended this back at Blur’s warehouse, and Viktis would never have been tortured.”

“I know. We underestimated her at every move.” Dallas raised his gaze from the foot of the bed to meet her gaze. “Which is why we’d like to offer you a special position within MYTH. We need someone like you on our team, someone who can think outside the box and keep us all honest.”

She let out a bark of laughter, then winced as pain shot through her mid-section. “Are you saying you need a thief to keep you honest?”

“Yes. If nothing else, this fiasco has shown us that MYTH needs to change. It needs to refocus and find its way again. And I think you can help.”

“What if I don’t want to? I seem to remember you promising me a full pardon and a fancy house on Paradisio Prime when this was all over.”

Dallas seemed to deflate, but he nodded. “Of course. We’ve already wired the credits to your account. If you choose to retire, we’ll honor our agreement.”

Beside her, Finn sat stiffly, his gaze focused on the floor, but she could tell every word put him further on edge. What the hell was going on?

“I’ll need to think about it, Major. I’m in no shape to be making those kinds of decisions right now.”

“Of course. Just know that we’ll do everything in our power to make our mistake right. You’ll have your own crew, your own ship, your own missions to run as you see fit. We need you, Renna.”

Dallas saluted her and strode from the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

Silence stretched awkwardly between Finn and Renna, and she picked at the edge of her blanket. What the hell did she say to him? What did she even want?

“I need you too, Renna,” he finally said, still not looking at her. “I can’t lose you again. Lying to you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I thought I was protecting you, but I know I made a mistake. I am a MYTH captain, through and through, but you are more important to me than anything else, even MYTH. I should have stopped this plan as soon as Dallas suggested it.”

“And how exactly would you have done that without ending up in the brig for treason again?” She let out a low sigh. “I’m still hurt and angry about it, but I get it. I might have done the same thing. But Finn, I’m not MYTH material. I’m a thief. It’s what I do.”

“That’s why you’d be heading up part of the MYTH Intelligence Agency. Who better to catch a thief than another thief?”

His crooked grin made her heart clench. If she accepted, if she truly became part of MYTH, everything would change.

Except everything had already changed.

She’d fallen in love with this man. Could she really leave him and go back to her old life? Did she even want that life anymore? When Dallas had first recruited her, all she’d wanted was to get the hell out of accepting contracts and retrieving difficult items. Becoming a part of MYTH would certainly slam the door on her past.

She had no idea what the future might look like. Except she wanted to be with Finn.

“What happens to us if I join?” she asked, slanting a glance at him. “Doesn’t MYTH have fraternization rules?”

“I think Dallas will make an exception. I’ve already made him promise I’ll be part of your crew if you decide to accept his offer.”

“Really?” Her voice went higher than she would have liked, and she cleared her throat to cover it.

“Do you really think I’d let you go off and have all the fun by yourself? I know the kinds of trouble you get up to. Trouble that’s sorely missing in my own life.” He grinned again. “I know it’s a big change. I know it’s not what you ever planned for or wanted, but I love you, Renna. And I’ll take you however I can get you, even if it’s only temporary, even if I’m just your ship’s captain.”

“Nick, you can captain my ship any time.”

He groaned. “That was awful.”

A smirk twisted her lips. “Hey, just getting you back.” She sobered quickly and touched his hand where it lay beside her on the bed. “You’re right. I never saw this coming. For fuck’s sake, a month ago I thought you were dead. Now I’ve gone and fallen in love with you and I don’t know how to handle it.” She paused as his expression lightened and added softly, “But I’m willing to try to figure it out.”

“That’s enough for me.” Finn stood, letting his fingers caress the scar on her neck before moving to her jaw. For the first time in her life, she didn’t flinch or feel embarrassed.

He turned her face so she had to look at him. “I never doubted you for a moment.”

“Well, I promised I’d kill her. And you know how I feel about promises.”

“I do indeed.” A wicked smile curved his lips as he brought them to hers. Heat shot through her at his touch.

He pulled away slightly. “And I promise whatever you decide about joining MYTH, I’m going to take you to that beach on Paradisio Prime for a very long, very private vacation once you’re better.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” she said with a grin, pulling him back down to seal the promise with a kiss.

EPILOGUE

A warm breeze rustled through the palm fronds above them, and Renna snuggled her head against Finn’s bare chest. The sunlight felt like cashmere against her skin, and her whole body was more relaxed than she’d ever been. Two weeks in paradise with a handsome captain would do that to a girl.

Finn’s fingers traced circles along her lower back, and she arched her naked body against him. “Keep doing that and we’re going to have to start all over again, Nick,” she said with a smile. “Your record from yesterday still stands. I think we may need to try to break it.”

He chuckled, his laugh sounding warm and rich in her ear. “You’re insatiable, woman. I need to recover before we try that again.”

His hand moved higher until he could play with her long hair. He stroked it gently and gazed off at the sparkling blue ocean just feet away.

They’d been on Paradisio Prime for almost two weeks and had spent most of it in their private bungalow on the beach, only leaving to pick up their food deliveries at the end of the road. Not another human in sight.

The perfect vacation.

But Renna recognized that tiny furrow between Finn’s eyebrows. He was worried about something.

“What are you thinking?” she asked, stroking her fingers through the dark hair that dusted his chest.

He shrugged. “Our time here is almost up, and you still haven’t made a decision about joining MYTH.”

She let out her breath in a low sigh. She’d been putting off thinking about it. Focusing on the present was good enough for her, especially after the month she’d just had.

“Finn, I just don’t know. If I do this, it’ll change everything between us. We’ll be working together. Living together. Can we handle that?”

She loved being with him, loved the way his scent wrapped around her when they spent time together, and how safe he made her feel. But joining MYTH would be a huge step in their relationship. They’d be assigned to the same ship, the same missions. There was bound to be conflict between them on how to handle each assignment. Would it bring them closer together or drive them apart?

“Nothing will change, Renna,” he said softly. “I already know I love you. I already know I want to be with you. And this is the best of all options. I’m usually gone for six months out of the year on missions. It would kill me to be away from you that much. This way we don’t have to.”

Her whole body tensed. She stared at the waves crashing against the golden sand as she forced herself to relax. “I love you, too, Finn, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of relationship. I’m still the same person, Finn. With the same hang-ups. Falling in love with you hasn’t changed that.” Renna untangled herself from him and sat up, drawing her knees to her chest so she could face him. The breeze off the water gently blew her hair across her face, and she pushed it behind her ears.

He propped himself up on an elbow. The sun highlighted the chiseled planes of his chest, the scars from his many missions that marred his skin. “I’ll give you all the space you need, Renna. You know that. But we promised to see this through.”

She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She felt herself wavering. “Why do you have to be so damned reasonable all the time?”