Athena's Ashes (15 page)

“Won’t make it.”

Aldani shook his head. “You’ll make it. You’ll just be something… different.”

“What do you mean something
different
? Different how?” A boulder sat on Renna’s chest and she struggled to prop herself up against the pillows so she could breathe.

Aldani wouldn’t meet her gaze as he continued. Instead he chose to stare at the white tiled floor. “Myka is a hybrid. Part-human, part-machine, and while both of his systems have integrated and work together, they’re still separate, like with most cybernetic additions people have installed.

“But what’s happening to you is different. The machine is starting to take over, to
become
you. When this process is finished, your implant will be another organ you need to keep you alive. It will simply be an extension of yourself, and the connection you feel with the
Athena
, with other mechanics, will deepen.

“Navang thought Myka was the apex of his work, but you have far surpassed him. You’ll be something new. The implant will become inseparable, indistinguishable from your own systems. Constantly evolving and changing. Growing on its own, even.” Aldani rubbed his clean-shaven jaw. His dark skin had gone ashy as he finally met her gaze. “You’ll be a new species. The genesis of something new in this galaxy.”

Renna’s mouth went dry. She opened and closed it, but there were no words. How did you respond to something like that?

Aldani got to his feet. “But we’re going to stop that from happening. We’re going to make sure you stay in control of this and not the other way around, okay?”

Easier said than done. If she’d commanded the
Athena
while unconscious, the implant was already taking control of her brain, her body. Was she even herself anymore?

“Stop looking like that,” Aldani chided. “Finn will have my hide if he comes back to find you pale and terrified.”

Dear gods. Finn. Her heart twisted in her chest, and Renna sat up. “Don’t tell him,” she pleaded. “Whatever happens, I don’t want him to know. I’ll disappear first, find some way to put an end to being a monster, but he can’t know.”

“Renna… I…”

“Please, doc. I want him to remember me as I am, not some… robot. I am going to do my damnedest to beat this, but if the worst thing he thinks is that I died because of the implant, so be it. I don’t want him to see me changed. What if I don’t recognize him? What if I hurt him?”

“Let’s not worry about that now, okay? We’ve got time, and if you think this man can help you, we still have hope.” Aldani squeezed her shoulder. “I wish I could go with you, but I know you’re right. I’ve met Dr. Samil; I am familiar with her work. She’s cunning and if she gets her hands on Myka again, she’ll be unstoppable. You’re our only hope now.”

Renna nodded. “I know. Myka’s still okay, right?”

“He’s perfect and dying to see you. Hopefully you’ll be up for it later.”

He let himself out of her room, leaving Renna to stare at the ceiling. Cold dread made her limbs heavy. Was he right? Could all of the weird things she’d experienced lately mean she was changing into something else? What had Samil done to her back in that warehouse?

There was only one way to find out. She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes, forcing away the fear and focusing on the
Athena
, the feelings she had for Finn, the crew, the ship itself. She pictured the smooth walls and metal floors, the spacious bridge. The dull ache started again as she slid deeper into her imagination.

And then she felt the tremble of the ship around her, the slight shudder that told her she was there. Part of the ship. Watching. Waiting.

This time, if she focused hard enough, she could feel it. The brush of air against the hull, the feel of the engineers working on her core. Even the whispers of the two crew members as they sneaked a kiss in a secluded corner.

Renna stretched out the tendrils of her connection and focused on the nav computer in the CIC. Viktis leaned against the railing, talking to Lieutenant Blake about a poker game he’d won on Forever Station. Lieutenant Keva sat at her station, listening, a knowing smile on her face.

Finn had taken up his usual military stance off to the side. He pretended not to listen, but he couldn’t resist interrupting Viktis to fill in parts of the story.

Viktis described the station, and Renna recognized some spots from the old days. The last time she’d seen it, she was with him. They’d finished their last job together there. Little did she know then, the next job Viktis took would be killing her.

A strange sadness pinged through her. What if things had been different? What if she’d let herself fall in love with Viktis instead of dropping him for the next handsome merc who’d come along because she’d been scared of her feelings? Would he have turned down the job? Would they have had something special?

A small part of her would always wonder with regret what might have happened between them. But while she loved Viktis as a brother now, she was pretty sure she was
in
love with Finn. And that scared the hell out of her. Renna sighed and felt the ship shudder around her.

Wonder surged through her. She’d made it do that. But how? Controlling ships was not part of what was supposed to happen here, but if she could use her implant for that, what else could she do if she learned to control it?

Slowly she pulled back out of the
Athena
, risking one more look at the three men on the bridge. Finn laughed at something Viktis said, his worry lightening for a moment, while Blake chuckled and clapped his friend on the shoulder.

And then she was gone, back in her bed on the
Eris
. Alone.

Renna blinked at the ceiling as she settled back into her own body. It felt strangely tight, claustrophobic even. Maybe if worse came to worse, she could lose herself in the
Athena
. At least she’d be able to watch over Finn and his crew.

Stop that
, she scolded.
You’re being creepy.

Right. She was going to beat this and have her happily ever after. MYTH owed her a retirement on a garden planet and a fat stack of credits.

Steeling herself, Renna swung her legs over the side of the bed. Time to get moving. She had a mercenary to convince to help her. And knowing the type, any sign of weakness would have him circling like a shark.

EIGHTEEN

“Well, look who’s up.” Viktis grinned at Renna as she sank into a seat at the table in the comm room. He leaned back and crossed his arms. “Nothing like scaring the old man half to death,” he said, jerking his head toward Finn. “I thought he was going to…”

“Enough, pirate,” Finn interrupted as he entered the room. Pink tinged his cheeks, and he didn’t meet Renna’s gaze as he slipped into the seat beside her. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

“Me too.” She smiled. It didn’t hurt that being around him again made everything feel better. Gods, when had she turned into such a sap?

Commander Jayla tapped a fingernail against the table. A bruise darkened the skin beneath her left eye, and a cut sliced across her cheekbone, courtesy of Samil’s men.

“Let’s get started,” she said, pulling up a holo of the bunker where they’d faced Samil. “MYTH bombed the place not long after the
Eris
escaped. I wasn’t able to radio HQ in time. Any evidence Dr. Samil might have left behind has been destroyed. We’re running blind here.”

Lieutenant Blake nodded from the other side of the table. “We tried to track her ship’s signature, but Samil and Major Larson were able to block it. They disappeared without a trace.”

“Major Larson, a traitor. I still can’t believe it,” Finn said. “He had everyone fooled. And the doctor…” His voice trailed off as she shook his head

Jayla grimaced. “He even fooled the admiral. Larson was part of her advisory group. The things he knows about MYTH could destroy us. I don’t even want to talk about Dr. Samil. How could we have missed something so huge?”

Finn gazed around the table as if to dare anyone to disagree with what he was about to say. “Well, whatever we think about Larson and Samil, the first thing we need to do is get Renna healthy.”

Jayla opened her mouth to protest, but Renna held up a hand. “Before this turns into a discussion no one can win, I have my own suggestion.”

Viktis groaned. “The last time you had a plan, I had to go on the run with our esteemed captain here. If this means I’m stuck alone with him for another two weeks, I quit. The guy can’t handle his liquor or his women.” He rolled his eyes but shot Finn an impish grin.

“Keep it up, pirate,” Finn warned good-naturedly.

“Boys, behave.” Renna fought the urge to stick out her tongue at them, but that would only lead to more childish behavior. “Viktis, you’ll be relieved to know this plan has nothing to do with leaving you in Finn’s clutches. I need your help with Wall. He’s the only one left who has a sample of the medication Navang developed.”

The unsaid words were there, heavy in the air around them. The only thing that might be able to keep her from turning into a cyborg.

The pirate nodded. “Makes sense. I should have thought of that right away. I’ll put out some feelers. Last I heard, Wall and his crew had left Lenue after the attack.”

Aldani steepled his fingers. “In the meantime, I’ll continue my own research. There may be other alternatives we can use to keep Renna’s implant stable.”

“I appreciate the help.” A warm glow curled through her. How had she gotten so lucky to have these people on her side? “I don’t know what tricks Samil has up her sleeve, but I’m worried. I’d like to get moving on this as quickly as possible. Viktis, can you get a hold of Wall as fast as you can? Doc, if there are any genetic stabilizers you can think of, I’d be willing to give them a try until we get a real cure.”

She glanced around the table at the people she’d come to care about. Blake lounged in his chair, looking unconcerned, but his fingers drummed a nervous tattoo against the table. Jayla had her commander expression back on—calm and composed, though Renna was sure she was anything but. Even Viktis, usually the most laidback man she’d ever met, sat on the edge of his chair.

Gods. Sometime in the last few weeks these people had become her family. How had that happened? She’d spent so long keeping to herself so she didn’t get hurt, yet here she was, terrified for all of them.

Renna took a deep breath, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of her feelings. “Listen. Despite what’s happening to me, Samil is still out there. And she’s still gunning for MYTH. We need to figure out what her plans are before she can strike again. Whether or not we find a way to stop my implant from taking over.”

Finn opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. “Hear me out. I think our number one priority is getting the doctor and Myka to a safe house and away from anything MYTH-related. Samil can’t use him if she can’t find him.”

“Consider it done,” Viktis said.

“We’ll use the
Athena
to take them to the safe house. We know the ship is still off MYTH radar and is safe for now. Once they’re settled, the two ships can rendezvous on Lenue and figure out our next steps.”

Finn scowled at her. “You’re not sending me away on some errand, Renna.”

“I wasn’t planning on it. I want Keva to lead that mission. I need you and Viktis as back up when we visit Wall.”

Finn opened his mouth to argue, then realized what she’d said. “Oh. Right. Works for me.”

“What about me?” Blake asked. “You can’t leave me behind. I saved your life.”

Renna grinned at him. “You’re my hero.” Beside her, Finn frowned at them. “But I need you and Commander Jayla to stay behind on the
Eris
and watch our backs.”

Blake grimaced. “Left on the sidelines again. Seems to be my lot in life.”

“Buck up, soldier, at least you won’t ruin that pretty face of yours in a firefight.” Renna smirked. “I mean, it’s not like you have much else going for you.”

“Hey…” Blake protested, but his eyes sparkled. “I thought we were friends.”

“Are you two quite finished?” Finn asked coldly.

Renna glanced at him in surprise. Was he actually jealous? “I think so. Are we all clear on the plan?” Everyone around the table nodded. “Good, then I’m going to head to the mess before I pass out. I’m starving.”

Finn got to his feet with her. “I’ll come with you.”

Together, they left the comm room. Finn matched his long stride to hers, and Renna was glad. Her head still felt swimmy, like the whole ship could tilt at any moment. Keeping herself together in that room had taken more out of her than she’d expected. His odd behavior hadn’t helped either.

She let her fingers trail along the cool metal of the walls as they walked, sneaking glances at Finn from the corner of her eye. It had only been two weeks since she’d seen him last, but it felt like everything had changed. She didn’t even know where they stood anymore. Or what her own feelings for him were.

Lies.

She knew exactly what her feelings were. She cared about him. She wanted the time to get to know him again, to see if anything more could happen between them. She wanted him. But not like this. Not with this alien tech in her brain turning her into a machine. Not with Samil chasing them.