At The Stroke Of Midnight (14 page)

Sebastian's kiss took Jane by
surprise but not for long.
 
His lips
were on hers, hard and demanding, but this time, she was ready for him.
 
It was she who demanded that he part his
lips for her, and when he did, she swept her tongue inside, tasting him
deeply.
 
She tunneled her fingers
through his hair.

This was not her.
 
She was a proper young lady.
 
She did not take what she wanted.
 
She did not kiss men already very nearly
betrothed to another.
 
Today?
 
Today she did, her passion fueled by anger
and resentment, of the knowledge of the life that had been stripped away from
her.

What she wanted was Sebastian and
though she had no earthly idea how she would fight for him, she knew that she
had to try.
 
Her heart, if nothing else,
demanded it of her.
 
And for once, she
was going to listen to her heart.

As they stood there in the snow,
they clung to each other fiercely, as if Sebastian too, understood the
monumental shift that had just occurred inside of Jane.
 
He might not be able to give words to
precisely what had changed within her, but his kiss indicated that he could
sense it, and that he approved.

When they finally broke apart, both
of them gasping for air, he slid his thumbs along her cheekbones, as if
attempting to memorize every line of her face.
 
The passion building between them was going to break free eventually and
it seemed as if they both knew it.
 
Neither knew when the damn would burst, only that it would.
 
Jane could not wait.
 
And if the way Sebastian was looking back at
her, his eyes full of heat and desire, was any indication, neither could he.

"I will be with you when that
happens," he promised, even though he knew it was a promise he might not
be able to keep.
 
"For I have a
feeling that when you finally break free, it will be magnificent.
 
And I, for one, do not wish to miss
it."

Later that evening, even though
Jane's initial anger had cooled considerably, leaving her a bit more level
headed, she was still no less in love than she had been earlier.
 
Not to mention no less trapped and powerless.
 
And those thoughts left her more than a
little melancholy.

Love.
 
Yes, love.
 
Jane was in
love, mercilessly so it seemed, with Sebastian St. Giles, the Earl of Covington
and had been for some time.
 
Perhaps
from the moment they had first met.
 
And
she was also miserable because of it.

When she had been held in the
safety and comfort of Sebastian's arms, it was easy to believe that she could
change her life, fight for what she wanted and be determined to win Sebastian
for her own.
 
In truth, it was actually
far more difficult, if not impossible, and nothing had really changed, save for
her heart and mind.
 
She was still just
as powerless as she had been earlier.
 
Only now, she was far more disturbed by that knowledge that she had been
before.

Jane had also been almost forcibly
separated from Sebastian at both Angeline's and Lizzie's insistence for the
better part of the day once they had returned to the manor house, thereby
robbing her of precious time with him.
 
It seemed that all of her anger and her vows to fight back actually did
her little good, at least when it counted.

She had seen the disappointment in
Sebastian's eyes that afternoon when she had meekly done as requested and gone
to the kitchens to help Cook oversee that evening's dinner rather than stay and
participate in an impromptu theatrical that Lizzie had devised.
 
It was evident that he had hoped that she
would resist or perhaps kick up a fuss of some sort, but in Blackstone's lush
formal parlor, surrounded by all of the guests and the reproving eyes of
Angeline, all of Jane's fight had left her.
 
Especially when her father looked at her expectantly, almost begging her
with his own eyes not to make a fuss and to remain the proper young lady that
she was.

Yet what was she to do?
 
What choice did she have but to comply?
 
Yes, at the chapel's wall, standing there
with Sebastian in the falling snow, it had seemed as if it would be so easy to
stand up to her father.
 
Or, if not to
him, then to Angeline or even Lizzie.
 
It was not.
 
Inside, she was
still Plain Jane, no matter how hot the anger burned.

She could not embarrass her family
like that by lashing out or being obstinate.
 
She also knew that Rockville still had spies among the house party
guests and would use any inappropriate behavior on her part to press his case
with her father.
 
If Charles Ashford was
truly tired of his eldest daughter, Jane feared he simply might agree to
Rockville's suit if only to be done with her.

Mostly, however, she could not and
would not embarrass Sebastian by appearing to be a clingy, needy, grasping
female.
 
Lizzie was already attached to
his arm, marking her territory just as a wild animal might, despite his many
attempts to be rid of her.
 
She was so
clingy that even the other guests were remarking upon it, as well as quietly
commenting that perhaps the perspective groom wasn't as in love with the
potential bride as they had been led to believe.

And Angeline had most certainly
promoted this as a love match for the ages from the moment Sebastian had
stepped foot inside the door.

He was already embarrassed enough -
even to the point where his mother was growing uncomfortable with the effusive
praise of the proposed union - and Jane was determined not to add to his
misery.
 
She cared far too much for him
to be so cruel and unfeeling.
 
She was
not like her family in that regard and never would be.

Still, her little acquiescence that
afternoon didn't mean she was giving up, either.
 
She was merely biding her time.
 
Well, at least until she could come up with a plan.

Now, well after most guests -
Sebastian included - had moved off to the more intimate card rooms that
Angeline had set up, Jane found herself wandering the halls of Blackstone once
more, a candle clutched in her hand to help guide the way.
 
Her stepmother had at some point given up on
attempting to force Jane to join the festivities, as if she knew it was a
worthless cause.
 
Her father?
 
He was drinking his brandy to excess again
tonight, so he would not notice she was missing.
 
Not that anyone else, especially the other guests, would either.
 
To them, this house party was to celebrate
Sebastian and Lizzie, even if some of them were beginning to doubt the claims
of it being a love match.

Sebastian would notice she was
gone, certainly, but he was in no position to seek her out.
 
His mother had been watching him intently
ever since they had returned from their ride that morning, both of them cold
and mussed.
 
When quizzed about it, both
of them had admitted to meeting as they were returning to the stable and not a
moment before.
 

Since Jane and Sebastian had been
seen together by numerous people, Angeline included, they could not very well
deny that they had spent time, however brief, in one another's company.
 
It had made sense, Sebastian had argued to
his mother, that he accompany Jane the rest of the way into the stables after
he encountered her astride Selene at the pasture gate.
 
He was, he had reminded his mother, a
gentleman, after all.
 
What was he to
do?
 
Leave her alone to fend for herself
in the rapidly falling snow?
 
It was
simply not done.

Margaret St. Giles had merely
pursed her lips and mumbled something about the game of Snap Dragon the night
before showing her all she needed to see, but she did not pursue the matter
further.
 
However, Jane had remained on
alert for the rest of the day, anticipating a reprimand or perhaps being forced
to answer questions she would prefer to avoid.
 
The older woman was no fool and it was evident she did not believe the
claims of innocence on either Jane's or Sebastian's parts.

Now, wandering the halls of
Blackstone alone, Jane thought again about the woman who would soon become
family.
 
The Countess of Covington did
not seem the type to suffer fools lightly.
 
It was also readily apparent that she loved her son very much.
 
So why she was pushing a match he did not
desire still confused Jane.

After all, Sebastian had admitted
that, after giving it some thought, there were others in the St. Giles family
who would make a far better heir-apparent to the earldom than the current man
who was next in line should Sebastian fail to produce a male heir.
 
And, as the earl, he was within his power to
change who stood to inherit.
 
He could
only change things once, mind you, but he did have that power and
authority.
 
Until he spoke of the
situation at length with Jane on their way back from the chapel ruins, he
hadn't thought about it or even considered it as a viable option.

Then, they had returned to
Blackstone and Sebastian had disappeared for a time, and Jane thought no more
of it.
 
Until now as she wandered in
silence, listening to the halls of the manor house whisper its own secrets to
her.
 
If changing the heir was possible,
why would Margaret St. Giles object, especially if it meant her son could be
happy?
 
Jane was certain there was a
reason.
 
There had to be.
 
However she could not come up with one that
made any sense.

The only conclusion she could
reasonably come to, therefore, was that Margaret had some objection to Jane
herself that she did not have to Lizzie.
 
In that respect, there could only be one reason - her Scottish
heritage.
 
Any child born to Jane and
Sebastian might well carry the dark Scottish coloring that haunted Jane every
day of her life.
 
Somehow, Jane did not
envision that idea sitting well with Margaret whose own bloodlines could be
traced back to royalty.

However, Jane was also just as
certain that Margaret did not know that Lizzie herself was not entirely English
and that she, too, bore the taint of Scottish blood.
 
It simply wasn't as visible on the cool blonde than it was on
Jane.

She wasn't certain how long she
wandered, but eventually, Jane found her way to the music room and without
thinking, seated herself behind the pianoforte and began to play, heedless of
who might hear her.
 
This was the one place
she felt at home, the one place she could find solitude and comfort when all
else seemed wrong in her life.

Here at her beloved pianoforte
there was comfort.
 
Oh, the words of her
being only acceptable at playing could still reach her ears here, but they did
not matter.
 
Not as they did elsewhere,
such as one of the many London ballrooms she had frequented over the
years.
 
For once she was seated, Jane
knew that she was good.
 
She had talent.
 
No one, no matter what they said, could take
that away from her.

She played without sheet music, one
song drifting into the next as the night continued to deepen around her.
 
She lost track of time, though at one point,
she did register voices passing by in the hall outside as well as the gong
marking midnight sounding somewhere deep within the house.
 
There must be a break in the card games, for
given the still-falling snow, it was unlikely that anyone was venturing
outdoors for snowman making or any other winter activity, especially in the
dark of the night.

Well, perhaps Lizzie might have, at
least if she thought she could use it to her advantage somehow with
Sebastian.
 
After that morning, Jane
knew she could not think of her sister as wholly innocent again.
 
Sebastian had pointed out that folly to her
and, once known, she could not doubt that he had been correct.

When she took a break before moving
into the next song, the sound of clapping brought her out of her reverie.
 
Looking up, Jane blinked a few times,
peering into the shadows.
 
She had sworn
she was alone, but then, when she was playing, she often did not hear people as
they came and went from the room.
 
This
was one of those times.

"My son was right.
 
You do have a marvelous talent."

Immediately, Jane sprang to her
feet.
 
"Your grace."
 
She dipped a low curtsey, which Lady
Covington quickly waved off.

"No need to stand on ceremony
with me, child."
 
Margaret entered
the room, an elaborate candelabra in hand and Jane had to wonder if she
traveled with one of her own, as Blackstone had nothing quite that ornate.
 
"I think we both know why I sought you
out this evening."

Jane regarded the woman with sure
and steady eyes, well aware that this woman was the primary obstacle that stood
between her and Sebastian.
 
It would not
do to annoy her, but neither was Jane about to meekly go away, feeling some of
her earlier anger flare to life again inside of her, somehow burning hotter now
than it had before.

"You want me to leave your son
alone."
 
Jane stated flatly,
refusing to back down at Lady Covington's upturned brow.
 
"Like my family, you wish me gone from
your life and from his.
 
I suspect you
probably wish I did not exist at all."
 
She shrugged and placed a hand on top of her instrument, as if for
protection.
 
"But I do exist and I
make no apologies for how I feel."
 
Then she gave a humorless laugh.
 
"But have no fear, my lady.
 
I will be gone soon enough.
 
There is a governess position that awaits me."

"And you believe that will
solve everything?
 
That you merely
departing for the wilds of Scotland will somehow make this situation right
again?
 
That my son will forget you and
get on with the business of creating an heir with your sister?
 
You assume that simply because you have made
your choice, though you might now regret it, that all that has been done can be
undone?"
 
There was no censure or
question in the countess' words.
 
Just a
statement, as if attempting to ascertain whether or not Jane would agree with
her.

Not to mention that Lady
Covington's words were confusing beyond measure.
 
If Jane could have chosen her own path, it would have led
directly to Sebastian.
 
But she had not
been given a choice.
 
Why did the other
woman assume she had?
 
Still, she let it
pass.
 
It was not important.