At Peace (60 page)

And, taking my makeup off, I realized this
was Joe staking his claim in private and in public. We were his, he
wanted us to know it and he wanted everyone else to know it
too.

I stared at myself in the mirror, thinking
that Mike told me Joe told him that he was going to give me
everything. When Mike told me that, I didn’t know what it meant, I
just knew that the promise of it felt brilliant.

Now I knew what it meant.

I’d had everything once and what was more my
daughters had it and in a way I didn’t think it could begin again
the world had ended when that everything was ripped away, not just
from me but from my daughters.

Joe was giving it back, to me and my
girls.

Standing in the bathroom, I felt my side of
the scale crash down, it was loaded so full by Joe.

I walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom
and I didn’t look at Joe as I walked to the door and locked it.
Then I turned, my eyes went to Joe in our bed and I walked to the
end of it. I stood there and, as Joe watched silently, I pulled off
his tee, tugged down my panties and stepped out of them then
crawled on all fours up his legs. I kissed his belly then slid the
covers down.

“Buddy,” he murmured.

I took him in my hand and slid him into my
mouth.

“Christ, buddy,” he groaned, both of his big
hands sliding my hair back at the sides and holding on.

Not knowing how to give him everything, I
gave him what I could, making him come with my mouth.

When I was done, he yanked me over his body,
shoved my face in his neck and his hand went between my legs and he
made me come with his fingers.

That was Joe, balancing out the scales.

“You good?” Joe murmured when my heart rate
went back to normal, his fingers still sliding gently through the
wetness between my legs.

Yes, I was good.

Except I found just then I wanted Joe’s side
of the scale to be heavier than mine.

For the rest of his life.

But I whispered into his neck, “Yeah.”

His hand slid away and he moved me to his
side.

“Sleep, buddy,” he ordered softly.

“Okay, Joe,” I replied, his hand went to my
hip to draw his random patterns and my mind filled with ways to
unbalance our scale.

I fell asleep not coming up with much.

* * * * *

The nightmare came again that night. It woke
me and Joe and he held me as my breathing steadied and the tremors
slid out of my body.

He did this silently but when I’d recovered
Joe spoke.

“Don’t like this shit, Vi.”

“It’ll pass.”

“Don’t like it,” he repeated.

“I’ll be okay.”

“You have this when Tim died?” he asked.

“No,” I answered.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“I’ll be okay.”

His arms squeezed me then he said,
“Yeah.”

But he didn’t sound convinced.

* * * * *

On Tuesday morning while I was drinking
coffee and the girls were still sleeping, Joe went out front which
was something he did first thing every morning since he’d moved in.
I knew why and I chose to pretend it didn’t happen.

That morning I couldn’t because Joe came back
in, stood in the door and looked to me.

“Come out here, buddy.”

At first I panicked then I saw his lips
twitching so I walked to the door and followed Joe outside and into
my yard.

He looked to Tina’s house so I looked to
Tina’s house and then stared.

The front yard, her trees, her fence, her
bushes, everything was covered in toilet paper.

Once I got over the shock of seeing Tina’s
white, toilet-paper-strewn yard, I let out a strangled giggle.

“Know anything about that?” Joe asked and I
looked at him and shook my head.

“Nope,” I lied.

Joe looked back at Tina’s and noted, “Looks
to me like Jessie Rourke’s handiwork.”

He was wrong. Toilet papering was Dee’s
idea.

I kept silent.

Joe looked at me again. “We got war
here?”

“War?” I asked.

“She gonna retaliate?”

I thought it was highly unlikely Tina would
retaliate with Joe’s truck in my drive but she was a bitch and I
wasn’t. What did I know what bitches did?

“Um…” I mumbled.

“She fucks with your yard, buddy, we got
problems,” Joe warned then suggested, “so maybe you two should have
words, settle this.”

“
I’m sure it’ll be all right,” I assured
him,
not
wanting to
have words with Tina again.

“
It isn’t, I have to wade in then it
really
won’t be all right,” Joe told
me.

“Joe –”

“Talk to her.”

“Joe –”

He got close, tipped his chin down and
assumed his sinister look.

“Buddy, talk… to… her.”

I tried to decide if I should mess with Joe
when he was looking sinister.

This took half a second before I decided not
to mess with Joe when he was looking sinister.

“All right,” I muttered.

“
Fuck,” Joe muttered back, his eyes going
to Tina’s, “I finally find a woman and she’s fuckin’ friends with
Jessie Rourke and enemies with Tina Blackstone.” Since he sounded
aggravated, I suggested, “I’ll make her cupcakes.”

Joe looked at me and said not a word.

I bit my lip.

Joe looked at my mouth, shook his head then
slung an arm around my shoulders and walked me back into my
house.

* * * * *

When I got home after work that night, Joe
wasn’t home and neither were Kate and Keira.

I had three notes, two from Kate, one from
Keira.

Note one:

Heather’s folks are taking us
to Costa’s. I get to wear my new dress which looks
awesome
with my tan! Don’t
worry, using Joe’s money to pay for mine. Will text you when I’m on
my way home.

xxooxxoo-Keira

I wondered if that was old Joe money or new
Joe money he’d given her to go to Costa’s. I decided to ask later
when I wasn’t tired after working all day or, alternately, not to
ask at all considering, being tired after working all day, my mood
was unpredictable and I wasn’t sure how I felt about Joe possibly
giving Keira more money.

Note two:

Joe said he’s going to the office and he��ll
be home around the time you get home.

xoxoxo-Kate

Apparently Joe didn’t write notes. Luckily
Kate did.

Note three:

Dane and I are going to a movie. We’ll be
back around nine.

Love you!

xoxoxo-Kate

I was alone in the house (again) so I went to
the mailbox, got the mail, waved to Myrtle, went back in, let Mooch
out of his box then let him outside taking my mail with me to open
it while I kept an eye on Mooch. Once I sorted my mail, Mooch and I
came back in, I dropped the post on the counter and went to fridge,
trying to decide what to make for dinner.

While standing in the fridge, I heard Joe’s
truck in the drive. I closed the fridge, still not having decided
what to make for dinner and moved to open a cupboard and stare into
that with the hopes of inspiration striking.

Joe walked in the side door, my eyes went to
him, his eyes were already on me and he said, “Hey buddy.”

I smiled at him. “Hey Joe.”

He came right at me, hooked an arm around my
waist, his head bent and his mouth hit mine for a short, hard,
closed-mouthed kiss.

“Where are the girls?” he asked when he
lifted his head and during the time I was thinking that my mood
wasn’t unpredictable anymore now that Joe was home and he’d given
me a kiss (not to mention, him asking meant he didn’t know Keira
was at Costa’s which meant he hadn’t given her money).

“Kate and Dane are at a movie. Keira is at
Costa’s with Heather’s family,” I informed him, he nodded but made
no comment so I went on to ask, “You hungry?”

“Could eat.”

“Have a taste for anything?”

His eyes got intense and one side of his
mouth went up in a grin, a new look, one that made my legs
wobble.

I ignored my legs wobbling and prompted him
to focus, “For food.”

He let me go and muttered, “Steak.”

“We don’t have steak,” I told him.

“I’ll go out and get some,” he replied,
picking up my mail and beginning to sift through it.

“I’ll make a quick list and go with you,” I
told him and he again didn’t speak as I went to the fridge and got
the pad of paper with the magnet on the back that was on the fridge
door then I opened the junk drawer and got a pen.

I was scratching down items to go with steak
when Joe spoke.

“You need to call your bank and I’ll give you
Lindy’s number so you can arrange to transfer your direct debits
for the mortgage to my account.”

My head came up and my surprised eyes went to
him.

“What?” I asked.

He threw my mail down and turned to me, not
answering my question but instead saying, “Utilities too. Lindy’ll
handle it.”

“What?” I repeated.

“Mortgage and utilities to my accounts,” Joe
answered and I changed my question.

“Why?”

“Why?” Joe repeated.

“Yes, um… why?”

“Live here, buddy,” Joe answered.

“Yes, but, that’s –”

Joe cut me off. “Pay my way.”

I shook my head with confusion then I got it
and said, “Okay, I’m cool with that but you can just give me a
percentage, a quarter is fair.”

“Pay your way too.”

I blinked, back to confused. “I don’t
understand.”

Joe leaned a hip to the counter and he
studied me before asking, “What don’t you understand?”

“Paying my way. I mean, that’s generous but
unnecessary. And it’s really unnecessary to change the direct
debits for the mortgage and utilities for just a couple of
months.”

Joe’s eyebrows went up and his face darkened
before he asked softly, “A couple of months?”

“Yes, if you want to contribute while you’re
stayin’, I’m happy for you to do that. But you don’t have to pay it
all and we don’t have to switch the direct debits because I’ll only
have to switch them back and that’s a pain in the ass.”

“While I’m stayin’?” Joe asked, he was
studying me even closer and he was beginning to look a little
scary.

“Yes, while you’re stayin’, until your house
gets renovated.”

“Sellin’ the house once it’s done, Vi, told
you that.”

“Yes, well…” I trailed off because it dawned
on me rather belatedly that if he was selling his house that would
mean he was moving, not living next door anymore. Then it hit me
that he had a place in Florida and I wondered if that was where he
was moving which meant long distance relationship or, even worse,
an end to “us”.

And if it was Florida that would mean an end
he already knew before he even moved in.

On that thought, my mood swung straight back
to unpredictable and I asked somewhat sharply, “Where are you goin’
after the house is renovated?”

“Not goin’ anywhere.”

“But if you’re selling –”

“I’m staying here.”

“Yes, but, then your house will be sold and
fall is coming, winter’s after that. Are you going to Florida?”

Joe put a hand to the counter and leaned
slightly toward me. “Vi, stick with me, yeah?
I’m staying
here.
”

He was getting impatient but then again so
was I.

Not to mention I wasn’t all that thrilled
with him being patronizing.

“
Yes,
I know that, Joe
. But what about after? You said you spent the
winter in Florida. Is that where you’re heading?”

“No, I’m staying here.”

“For how long?” I asked.

“Jesus. For long enough to pay the fucking
mortgage and utilities,” he answered, losing patience. “How long’s
that say to you I’m stayin’?”

I stared at him, uncomprehending then I
comprehended and my mouth dropped open.

Joe noticed and said with mild but undeniable
sarcasm, “That’s it, baby, I see it’s penetrated.”

I was moving from impatient to angry, as well
as still confused with just a hint of afraid, a volatile
combination.

“You’re moving in?”

I watched as his eyebrows snapped together
before he said, “I’m already in.”

“Yes, for two months,” I returned.

“No, for good,” he shot back.

I shook my head, stunned at this news and
said, “I didn’t agree to that.”

“I didn’t exactly give you a choice, seein’
as you were playin’ games, fuckin’ another guy and I needed to
stake my claim. I did, I’m here, I’m stayin’.”

The confused and afraid slid away, the angry
snapped right into place.

“What did you just say?” I whispered.

“You heard me.”

“I wasn’t fucking Mike,” I snapped.

“Right,” he replied, the sarcasm less mild
this time.

“I wasn’t!” My voice was rising.

Joe’s voice didn’t rise, it got lower which
was even scarier. “He was caught on your hook. I’ve had a fair
taste of you, Vi, man only gets that caught if he’s had a
taste.”

I could not believe him.

I planted my hands on my hips and
retorted, “Yes, Joe, he had
a taste.
That’s all he had.”

Joe’s face went full-on scary when he
returned, “I’ll say it once, buddy, not a good idea to tell me
about that shit.”

“We were over!”

“We’ve never been over, we started when you
begged me to fuck you and we’ve never been fucking over.”

“
You broke it off with me
twice!
” Yes, my
voice was definitely rising.

“Not twice, it was you who tried to end it
the second time.”

“
I
did
end
it.”

“Not even close.”