Assumed Engagement (32 page)

Elizabeth
laughed. "Oh yes, if you could help me find some things in your kitchen, I would be glad to prepare some for her."

The servant escorted her into the kitchen. On the way back, she found her mother and told her she was going up to see Jane. Her aunt was standing right there, and offered that she and her husband would remain and take her back with them, allowing the
Bennets
to take leave.

Elizabeth
carried the cup of hot tea up the stairs and down the long, dark hall, turned, and continued down the hall that led to Jane’s room. She felt awkward coming up here, almost as if she were trespassing. She determined to stay only long enough to give Jane the tea. When she reached the room she lightly tapped on the door, and said, "It is me, Jane."

"Come in,
Lizzy
."

Elizabeth
walked in with the tea, and set it down in front of her. Jane had slipped on the silk nightdress and robe, and had let down her hair.
Elizabeth
could not contain her admiration for the beauty of her sister. She had never seen her look so beautiful; so glowing!

Jane took the tea and sipped it. "Thank you so much for bringing this to me. I know how much it helps calm you down. I feel as though I needed something."

Elizabeth
smiled and was not sure what to say to her sister.

"
Lizzy
, do you remember all the talks we would have late at night… wondering about things… about the mystery of the wedding night?"

Elizabeth
laughed. "Oh, yes!"

"I knew so little back then. But
Lizzy
, I fear I know no more tonight than I did then."

Elizabeth
sat down and took her hands in hers. "Jane, you
do
know, however, that you have as your husband a man who loves you very dearly. I believe by tomorrow at this time, you shall know everything you need to know!"
Elizabeth
cocked her head at her and gave her a reassuring smile. "Do not worry, Jane. Just trust your feelings and trust your husband."

Jane blushed at her words.

"Now, I must leave. I believe you have a husband in there who will be most overtaken by how beautiful you are. And he is most likely very anxious to see you." She stood up and leaned over and kissed her on top of her head. "Good night, Mrs. Charles Bingley."

"
Lizzy
, we will be coming by tomorrow morning before we depart for our wedding journey. I shall see you then."

"Yes, Jane, I am looking forward to it."

Elizabeth
slowly and quietly opened the door, and began backing out of the room. She did not want to make any noise, alerting Charles to the fact that she had been in there. As she was closing the door behind her, she heard a noise across the hall, and a familiar voice say, "Go to it then, man!"

Elizabeth
's eyes widened it horror, as she realized it was Darcy. She turned to see if she could sneak back in the room. Just as he turned, he drew back startled when he saw her there, too.

"Miss
Bennet
!"

"Mr. Darcy."

Did she hear that blasted remark I made as I came through the door?
He felt terribly ashamed of his last remark, the crudeness of it, and awkwardly came up to
Elizabeth
.
What do I say now?
"You were in with your sister?"
That was stupid, of course she was!

Elizabeth
felt the inopportunity of the moment, and fumbled for something to say. "I just brought… um… Jane some tea."

"Bingley asked me to bring him… something, as well."
He looked up at the ceiling, wishing he could disappear.

"How is Mrs. Bingley doing?"
Oh great, another blunder!

How do I answer that?
That she is very nervous, but I fear not as nervous as I feel right now!
"Fine."

The two walked down the rest of the hall, this time awkwardness prompting the silence and distance that separated the two.

As they came to the far corner of the hall and turned to head for the stairs, Darcy happened to look out the window that faced the east and saw a huge full moon, just rising in the sky. Being just on the horizon it appeared unusually large and was a light shade of orange. Its appearance was so stunning and so unexpected that he said, "Look at that!" and, taking
Elizabeth
's arm brought her over to the window.

As they came up to the window for a close look, Darcy stood behind her.
Elizabeth
was awestruck by the beauty of it. "It is beautiful!" she exclaimed.

Darcy, looked down at the moonlight playing off her curls, and echoed her, "Yes, beautiful."

Elizabeth
's heart began pounding as she realized how close he was standing behind her. He brought his hands up to her shoulders and lightly rested them there; causing her to feel somewhat wobbly, yet at the same time their presence steadied her. She could hear the ticking of the large grandfather clock that was just down the hall from where they were standing, and felt her heart was beating just as loudly.

They stood watching in silence, as the moon slowly lifted in the sky. An occasional thin, wispy cloud passed over it, picking up a light tint of the now fading orange glow. As they watched it slowly rise, it began to lose its colour and apparent size, but they stood transfixed.

The quiet that permeated the hall was suddenly broken by the sound of the clock just down the hall from where they were standing. Its booming song rang out that it was striking the hour. Darcy unconsciously counted as the clock announced the hour.
One… two… three…
It continued on.
Ten… eleven… twelve
. Darcy stiffened, taking in a sharp breath.

He slowly lowered his head and
Elizabeth
felt the warmth of his breath near her ear, followed by a softly spoken voice, "
Elizabeth
, it is
tomorrow.
"

Elizabeth
closed her eyes as she felt her world begin to spin. In a voice barely above a whisper, she asked, "Tomorrow?" however fully she believed herself to understand his meaning.

He lifted his right hand from her shoulder and picked up one of her curls again, causing her to arch her head toward it as she had done earlier, shivers of delight running through her and culminating at that point on her neck where his hand had lightly brushed up against it. This time, though, as her long, sleek neck was arched away from him, he slowly leaned down and kissed it. The unexpected touch of his lips on her neck suddenly drew all strength from her and in an instant she felt herself lose all equilibrium and fall back against him. Just as quickly, he reached around her waist to support her, and she struggled to regain some sense of strength and attempted to compose and right herself.

When he was confident that she was steady, he moved around her and stood between her and the window. The moonlight, which was now a full bright orb in the sky, was casting beams of light upon her face. Her eyes, though dark from the room, were reflecting the image of the moon deep within them.

He tried to control the quivering in his voice, "It is no longer Jane and Charles' wedding day."

Elizabeth
looked toward him, but could not see him well as his face was turned away from the light. He slowly leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her cheek.

Darcy pulled away, steeling himself against the powerful longing to kiss her lips, when a noise at the end of the hall caught his attention. He looked back toward the hall, from which they had just come, and turned back to her.

"I think it would be best if we leave this part of the hall quickly." He resolutely, but gently, took her by the arm and they quickly proceeded down the length of the hallway that led to the stairs. He took her arm to escort her down, and she firmly grabbed the rail with her other hand.

They had taken but a few steps down, when
Elizabeth
momentarily stopped. Darcy, having taken two more steps down before coming to a stop himself, turned to see Elizabeth's flushed face looking down to him. He turned completely around to face her, and took a step back up, bringing him eye level to her. With much trepidation she stepped away from him up one step, but Darcy soon closed the gap again, bringing himself up to the step just below hers.

Darcy was again at eye level with her, and so close. Their eyes met and held. He slowly moved from admiring her eyes to her mouth. As she noticed this, she parted her lips slightly, as if knowing what was to come. Without much concern for who might see, he leaned over and captured her mouth with his, enveloping her in his embrace. He could feel her again go limp in his arms, and tightened his hold on her. After a few moments, he felt her hands come against his chest and she gently pulled herself away.

Her head went down on his shoulder, and she could hear his heavy, laboured breathing. She grabbed the stair rail again, and using it for support, she drew her head back.

Darcy breathed in deeply. "I beg you to forgive me, Miss
Bennet
, for my momentary lapse of judgment."

She took a few moments before looking back up at him, and with an unsuccessful attempt to disguise her trembling, said with a reassuring smile, "You have no need to apologize to me, Mr. Darcy, but I fear it would not be good to be discovered here together. I need a few moments; perhaps it would be best if you go down first, and then I shall come down after a few minutes."

He looked at her and smiled. "Do you think that I am in a better position to go down first?" He closed his eyes and breathed in a few deep breaths. "All right,
Elizabeth
, but do not wait too long. They are probably already wondering where the two of us are!" He picked up her hand and turned it over, gently kissing the inside of her palm. She swayed again, and marvelled at the swelling of emotion within her.

He turned and walked down the stairs, looking back up to her and smiling as he reached the turn. She stood still as she heard voices greet him downstairs. It was fairly quiet below as most people had likely departed. She took in some slow, deep breaths, smoothed her hair and felt her face. It was still fairly warm; she wondered how flushed she looked. She could only hope they had started extinguishing some of the candles and she could get outside quickly enough to escape anyone's notice.

When she came down moments later, her aunt and uncle were waiting and talking with Mr. Darcy. Mr. Hurst was asleep on a sofa, and Caroline eyed her suspiciously as she came down. She picked up her things, and came up to her aunt and uncle to let them know she was ready to leave.

Darcy escorted them outside to the waiting carriage. "Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. Good night, Miss
Bennet
."

He stood back as he watched them enter the carriage. Mr. Gardiner, however, did not get in the cab with his wife and niece. "It is such a nice evening; I think I shall ride up on top with the driver."

Elizabeth
watched in amazement as he did this, but soon realized they had most likely agreed to this ahead of time so her aunt could talk privately with her.
Elizabeth
turned and saw the very familiar all-knowing look on her aunt's face, reflected in the moonlight.

"
Lizzy
, I think we need to talk."

Chapter 20

     M
rs. Gardiner compassionately took her niece's hand. "
Lizzy
, my dear, do you know what Mr. Darcy's intentions are toward you?"

Elizabeth
pondered, in the darkness of the cab, how to respond. She knew that her aunt had a keen sense of observation and there was nothing she could say that would convince her otherwise, save the truth. But she wondered how much of the truth to tell.

She took in a deep breath and proceeded to share with her what her feelings toward him were. "It has been slow in coming, but I believe we share a mutual regard for each other."

"Has he told you as much?"

Elizabeth
looked over at her. "Yes." She paused. "Dear Aunt, there is something that I never told anyone, except Jane. You knew that when I was at
Kent
visiting
Charlotte
, he came as well, visiting his aunt." She took in a deep breath. "While we were there…" She wondered at the wisdom in continuing, but in noticing her aunt's encouraging countenance, she decided to proceed. "While we were there, he offered me his hand in marriage, declaring his love for me."

"Heavens,
Lizzy
! Do you mean to tell me that you have been secretly engaged to him all this time?"

"No. No. We are not engaged. I turned him down."

"You turned…"

"Yes. You remember how we all thought him so proud and arrogant. And there were other things… I simply could
not
accept him."

"So my dear if that was the case, something has obviously prompted your feelings toward him to change. What brought this about?"

Elizabeth
went on to tell her how, after she turned him down, he wrote her a letter to clarify some issues she had misunderstood. Then when Georgiana asked her to come to
Pemberley
and she heard the young lady talk so highly of her brother, in addition to spending a little time with him, gradually her feelings toward him began to change. And then, of course, there were the past few days.

Mrs. Gardiner patted her hand. "I would never have believed that he would have asked someone I knew, let alone a relation, to be his wife.
Lizzy
, I know what you thought of him before. I hope you fully comprehend what a good man he is. From what I have heard from acquaintances I still have in Lambton, he has always been highly regarded, but they have seen a notable difference in him even these past two months."

"I do believe him to be good, Aunt. It just took some rearranging of my perception of him; that is all. Tell me, Aunt, what
do
they say about him?"

"Recently he has taken to visiting folks in town with Miss Darcy. I even have on good authority, that he is in the process of helping start a school for the deaf in Derbyshire."

"Why he has not mentioned that to me at all!"

"I believe it could be because he does not want any credit for it."

"I had no idea."

"So, my dear, back to my original question, do you know what his intentions are?"

"He has asked to call tomorrow… I mean later today. It is possible he will make his intentions known then."

"
Lizzy
, I have observed the two of you together. I know that I am not your mother. I fear if your mother was aware of the little interactions I noticed between you two, she would behave in the most unrestrained manner to secure him as your husband."

"Oh, she would behave most abominably."
Elizabeth
laughed nervously. "I only hope she can contain herself when he comes later."

"I trust she will be faithful to herself, unfortunately. As much as I would like to be there, we will be leaving for home straightaway after services."

"I do wish you could be there to help calm the storm, if need be. By the way, Mr. Darcy paid you a compliment, Aunt."

"Did he?"

"Georgiana told him to watch other people as they responded to Mama, as he felt his reaction to her would not be most gracious. He told me that he found watching you calmly interact with her helped. He said you had a gift in dealing with her."

"Well, I have known her many years and I have come to know what sets her off and what calms her down. And
Lizzy
, I have known
you
for many years too. I do not doubt that he cares for you deeply. But do you love him?"

"I believe I do, Aunt. I believe I do."

*~*~*

When the sun first peeked over the horizon that morning, few in the
Bennet
household were ready to get up, after having such a busy day and long night.
Elizabeth
had not slept well; her heart not wanting to settle down throughout the night. At one point, early in the morning, she arose from her bed and walked to her window. She looked up at the full moon, high in the sky and smiled at the remembrance from the night before.

Now the sun was beckoning everyone to awaken, and she struggled to pull herself out of bed. She knew she had to get ready for services, but also at some point this morning, Jane and Charles would come by to bid their farewells as they left for their honeymoon. She sat at her dresser and brushed out her long, dark hair. With each long stroke, she recalled each word Darcy had said to her yesterday, each kiss he had bestowed on her.

After she had dressed, she came downstairs to get something to eat. She discovered that all but her two younger sisters were already in the dining room. "Good morning everyone," a glowing
Elizabeth
said.

"Good morning,
Lizzy
," her father spoke. He looked closely at her, not being able to recall when he had seen her look so content and at peace in at least several months.

Jane and Charles soon arrived and promptly were let in the house. Everyone greeted them with much enthusiasm. They could not stay long, but came in to take some tea with the
Bennets
and the Gardiners.
Elizabeth
noticed how happy Jane looked and she was glad.

As they all walked out, Jane came over and gave
Elizabeth
a hug. She had a very conspiratorial look in her eye as she pulled back from her and said, "It is so wonderful! I cannot wait until we can talk when we return!"

Elizabeth
reacted with a start at Jane's words and looked at her in amazement. She narrowed her eyes as she contemplated what Jane could be referring to.
Certainly not.
Jane turned to join her husband in the carriage, and
Elizabeth
looked at her with utter surprise written across her face. The surprise was soon replaced with a smile as she lightly shook her head.

Later in the morning the whole
Bennet
clan attended church services. It had taken some delicate admonishing from Mrs. Gardiner, and some frantic flailing from Mrs.
Bennet
to get Kitty and
Lydia
up and ready in time, but it happened. As they arrived and met other church goers, Mrs.
Bennet
overflowed with raptures to everyone she met about how wonderful it was to have a married daughter, a son-in-law worth five thousand, and how lovely the wedding was, just in case that bit of information had escaped anyone's notice.

As they entered the church,
Elizabeth
made a quick survey to see if the
Darcys
were there, but she did not see them. They walked down toward the front of the church. With the Gardiners with them, the
Bennets
were barely able to squeeze into one pew.

Elizabeth
would have preferred to sit further back so she could have seen people come in without having to look around. As the time for the service drew near, she concluded she would have to wait until afterwards to get the chance to see him.

The service began with a familiar song from the hymnal. In the midst of the song, she became aware of some latecomers moving into the pew behind them. A tap on her shoulder and she turned slightly to see Georgiana and her brother standing behind her, picking up the hymnal. Darcy looked over her shoulder to see what page number they were singing from. Although she knew the song by heart, suddenly she found herself scanning the page before her as his presence confounded her and she somehow could no longer recollect what the next words were.

The minister came up to the front and announced that they were blessed to have a visiting minister that morning who would share the message, a Reverend George Austen.

At the close of his sermon, he entered into a time of prayer, asking his daughter to come up and lead the congregation in a prayer she had written.

She began,
"Father of Heaven, whose goodness has brought us in safety this day, dispose our hearts in fervent prayer. Another day is now beginning, and added to those, for which we were before accountable. Teach us Almighty Father, to consider this solemn truth, as we should do, that we may feel the importance of every day, and every hour as it passes, and earnestly strive to make a better use of what thy goodness may yet bestow on us, than we have done of the time past.

"Give us grace to endeavour after a truly Christian spirit to seek to attain that temper of forbearance and patience of which our blessed saviour has set us the highest example; and which, while it prepares us for the spiritual happiness of the life to come, will secure to us the best enjoyment of what this world can give. Incline us oh God! to think humbly of ourselves, to be severe only in the examination of our own conduct, to consider our fellow-creatures with kindness, and to judge of all they say and do with that charity which we would desire from them ourselves.

"We thank thee with all our hearts for every gracious dispensation, for all the blessings that have attended our lives, for every hour of safety, health and peace, of domestic comfort and innocent enjoyment. We feel that we have been blessed far beyond any thing that we have deserved; and though we cannot but pray for a continuance of all these mercies, we acknowledge our unworthiness of them and implore thee to pardon the presumption of our desires.

"Keep us, oh Heavenly Father, from evil this day. Bring us in safety to the beginning of another day and grant that we may rise again with every serious and religious feeling which now directs us.

"May thy mercy be extended over all mankind, bringing the ignorant to the knowledge of thy truth, awakening the impenitent, touching the hardened. Look with compassion upon the afflicted of every condition, assuage the pangs of disease, comfort the broken in spirit.

"More particularly do we pray for the safety and welfare of our own family and friends
wheresoever
dispersed, beseeching thee to avert from them all material and lasting evil of body or mind; and may we by the assistance of thy holy spirit so conduct ourselves on earth as to secure an eternity of happiness with each other in thy heavenly kingdom. Grant this most merciful Father, for the sake of our blessed saviour in whose holy name and words we further address thee." *

After the prayer, the congregation stood up to leave, touched by the words of this young lady, Jane Austen.

Darcy waited for
Elizabeth
to step out of the pew and then he stepped out behind her. As they walked out, they greeted the visiting minister, and Darcy watched as Georgiana walked over to talk with his daughter. Once outside, everyone gathered together and spoke. They parted to leave and Darcy remarked to
Elizabeth
that he would be over to see her directly, and he then walked over to join his sister.

After church, the Gardiners left directly to return to
London
. They all bid their farewells, and Mrs. Gardiner particularly singled
Elizabeth
out to hug her and give her some encouragement. "
Lizzy
, I will be thinking of you today, and will keep you in my prayers. I look forward to hearing from you soon."