Assassin Queen (3 page)

Nathan smiled and thumped him on the back. “Of course you will be.” He handed Kirin a wine skin. “You just need something to restore your energy, aye?”

“You’re a good man, my friend.” Kirin took a long drink from the skin.

“You’re in the minority for thinking so.”

“I never put stock in idle gossip.”

It wasn’t that he hadn’t heard the gossip about Nathan. He’d listened to enough of it to turn a priest’s hair white over the years. He even believed most of it to be true. He’d seen Nathan slaughter enough men for coin to believe the man was capable of taking a life or two for pleasure from time to time. But they all had their secrets. It was the nature of their business. And he couldn’t exactly fault the man for enjoying a craft he was good at. Not only would it be hypocritical, but his skill was why he’d been brought into their group in the first place. It takes years of practice for any expertise to develop. So who was he to find fault in the hobbies the man may have pursued during his apprentice years? As long as none of their group went missing, everything balanced out in his mind.

“But speaking of minorities…. I couldn’t help but wonder if you were going to come with us to reclaim the throne?”

Nathan looked down at the ground as he shifted his weight. “It’s not that I don’t owe her my loyalty and my life several times over.”

“But?”

Even if Kirin couldn’t hear the reservation in Nathan’s tone, he could see it in the man’s posture.

“But I’m not exactly the settle-down-and-start-a-family kind of guy. Look at me, Kirin.” Nathan shook his head and then held his hand out for the wine.

Kirin let his gaze flow over the man’s face and allowed himself to really look at Nathan for the first time in years. He didn’t remember the last time he’d actually noticed the red, angry lines that marred the man’s complexion.

“We’ve all seen our fair share of battles. We all have our scars. Some of us just wear them deeper under the skin than you do.”

“Says the man who can get a wench to drop her panties with only a smile.” He shook his head.

“And some gold. By the way, none of those wenches were worth the coin I spent on them.”

He’d done his best to slake his hunger for Lilly with as many available women as possible along the way. It’d been as successful as filling his stomach with dirt when it craved steak. The more women he took to his bed, the more he craved Lilly.

He shook his head as he took the wine back. This was about Nathan, not him. He needed to focus. He gulped down a long drink in an attempt to drown all thoughts of Lilly from his mind.

“Any woman worth starting a family with wouldn’t care about your face. You have the best heart I know.”

“We’re brothers-in-arms, you and I, so I understand what you’re trying to do. But don’t. We both know that no woman would hang around long enough to get to know me or my heart.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. This is the only life I’ve ever been good at, but it’s not the only life I’ve even known. There have been women. Some have even managed to capture my heart. They all tossed it aside for a prettier face and better pedigree.”

Nathan’s snort was harsh with disdain, but Kirin didn’t know if the scorn was aimed at the women or himself.

“My own mother couldn’t even find the room in her heart to love this face. I’m not meant for civilized worlds or women. This is the only family that has ever accepted me.”

“That is something we have in common.”

Kirin hated the pain and anxiety thoughts of family always brought him, but he would bear that discomfort if sharing it would help his friend.

“I find it hard to believe any family would turn its back on a mage. Especially one of your ability.”

Kirin’s laughter was harsh and abrasive. If only magic solved as many problems as non-magic users believed it could. Some sins wouldn’t be overlooked, no matter how much there was to be gained by forgiveness.

“If I had been born to my father’s wife, I’m sure they all would’ve been lining up to sing my praises. At least, they did with my half-siblings. Since I was born to her sister, however, they weren’t as enthusiastic. Even with my abilities.”

Nathan was silent for a moment as he took a drink of the wine. “Sounds like you have an interesting family.”

“Interesting would be one way to describe it.”

Insufferable, tortured, bitter, and traumatizing would be other ways to describe his family, but he kept those descriptors to himself.

“But that is the way of things in powerful houses. They manipulate each other out of boredom and destroy lives just to prove to others they hold enough power to possess anything they wish.”

“It sounds like there is little love lost between you and your kin. I take it you have no plans to return to them?”

“No. I will never go back there.” His throat clenched with emotion as he said the words, but he cleared it before Nathan could notice. “I understand your concerns about settling down. I may even share one or two of them with you. Paying for a woman to warm your bed is a far cry from trusting one with your life while you sleep.”

He couldn’t stop the shudder that worked through his body at the thought. “But farming isn’t the only option Lilly offered us. Come with us. Help us win. She’d make you one of her guard. You’ll get to do what you love, stay with your family, and be on the right side of the law for once.”

Nathan was quiet for a moment as he stared off into the night. “Having a soft bed waiting for me at the end of the day would be a change.”

“You’ve got the night to think it over. I hope you’ll ride out with us in the morning.”

Nathan nodded, but Kirin could still feel waves of unease radiating off the man. “You’ve given me something to consider.”

He turned and walked away without further comment. Not that Kirin was expecting him to say anything else. The man had said more than enough as far as he was concerned. Nathan was going to leave them. And he’d most likely do it during the night while they slept. Kirin would do the same if he hadn’t already given his word to Lilly.

He walked over to his bedroll and picked it up before making his way to the edge of the camp. He didn’t want to hear the others packing up. Lilly might be okay with her men deserting her in the dead of night, but, after the night he’d had, his nerves were strained to the breaking point.

He wanted nothing more than to relax and enjoy a couple hours of sleep, but, when he closed his eyes, red ribbons of magic danced through his mind, calling to him softly. Magic might not be able to solve all of life’s problems, but that didn’t make it any less tempting. There were enchantments that would make Lilly think she was in love with him. And there were blood spells that would kill his mother and father, even from this distance. After all, distance meant nothing to blood. But he couldn’t force love on Lilly any more than he could kill the two people who had given him life. There were lines that not even he would cross. So, instead of doing anything he would regret, he lay in his bedroll and allowed sleep to mock him.

Just before the golds and reds of daybreak streaked across the sky, he gave up on trying to force himself to rest and rose to greet the day. The camp was quiet, but its peace only made him more agitated.

How can the morning be so calm when it marks the beginning of the end?

He resisted the urge to growl as he started the fire. He could have used the flint and kindling that had been left for just such a purpose, but using his magic was easier. It also came with the added benefit of draining a bit of his energy. After being bottled up for the last six hours, his soul was burning with the need to cast.

“You look like hell.”

Kirin jumped and then whirled around on one heel to face Nathan. “You’re one to talk.”

He’d been wrong. Nathan had stayed. Kirin had to bite the insides of his cheeks to keep from smiling. Maybe this dawn wouldn’t be the end as he’d originally thought. Maybe others had stayed as well.

“You sound as if my face
isn’t
the one you long to see first thing in the morning.”

Kirin put a pot of water on the hook over the fire so it would heat. “Not to mention the last thing I look upon before I go to sleep at night,” he teased in return.

Nathan laughed. “Guessed that was the case.”

“What made you stay?” He threw some dried meat and herbs into the water.

“I may be ugly as the night is long, but I still have a brain between these two ears. I said you’d given me something to think on and you had.” He picked an apple out of the burlap sacks that held the fresh produce and took a bite before continuing. “I may not find a wife in this kingdom of Lilly’s, but I will always have a home.”

“That’s the truth, my friend.” Lilly walked up to them with a smile on her face. But Kirin noticed the warmth of the expression didn’t reach her eyes. “Though I wouldn’t dare the fates where a mate is concerned. They’re a mischievous lot. They might find you one out of spite.”

Nathan laughed so hard his entire chest shook with it. “Then they should consider this my official challenge. No woman would ever want to make an honest man of me. If one does exist, then I shall hang up my bow and till the soil for the rest of my days.”

Lilly took a wine skin and pulled the cap off before lifting it in salute.

“I, for one, hope to live long enough to see that day.” She took a long drink from the skin before handing it to Nathan. “Could you imagine him behind a team of oxen plowing new fields?”

She looked over at Kirin, and he was comforted to see warmth dancing in her eyes. This time, when she smiled, it was a sincere expression.

“I do believe I could.” Kirin took the skin from Nathan and then lifted it to his mouth. The strong wine warmed his throat as he took a long swallow.

“Just wait until the fates see fit to have you married.”

Kirin choked on Nathan’s words, and a fine spray of wine erupted from between his lips. The one comfort he found was that Lilly seemed just as startled as he. He coughed and sputtered for a few minutes as his mind spun.

“The fates might have met their match in that endeavor if his reaction is anything to go by.”

Lilly’s tone was dry. And when he’d managed to catch his breath, Kirin noted that her expression had gone cold again. Fickle woman. Nathan apparently deserved a wife but not him? Not that he particularly wanted one. But that she thought him undeserving of one irritated him.

“I’m sorry if my reaction was a disappointment, but I have no desire to take a wife. I have no need for a proper woman in my life or in my bed.”

She snorted. “You wish to be a rogue until the day you die?”

“I wish to be an honest man. Honest with myself and with the women in my life.”

“And you fear marriage would make a liar out of you?”

“I’ve seen it happen enough to know it’s a possibility.”

He took a step back as several other members of the group joined them. An hour ago he would’ve been happy others had elected to stay, but now he had been made too uncomfortable by the current topic to even notice. He needed some way to get her to change the subject.

“But this conversation is moot. There is no fair lady awaiting my return. Nor am I waiting for the return of my love.”

He took some joy in turning the tables on her, but the victory came at a cost, as a dull ache spread through his chest. And that ache became sharp and piercing as her skin took on the warm glow of a blush as she apparently started to think about her knight. Oh, to be the man who put that blush upon her face.

“Of course. You’ve never been in love. We shall see how you feel about the topic of matrimony when you have.”

The words hurt more than they should have. She was technically correct. He’d had deep feelings for a few women, but he’d never been in love. At least, not that he was aware of. And it seemed like that would be something one would be aware of. Still, when she said it, the statement sounded like a judgment on his character. He didn’t like her judging him in any aspect of his life and finding him lacking.

“We should focus on the road before us.” He looked around them. Most of the men remained, but some had left during the night. “We have ten men to take back your throne. How do you plan to overpower the city’s defenses, the King’s Guard, and the king himself with ten men at your disposal?”

“Since you so kindly brought up the possibility of being reunited with a lost love, I would’ve thought you’d already guessed.”

His eye twitched uncomfortably. “Your betrothed.”

“Once I’ve returned, he will take up my cause. That was, after all, the plan. After he convinces the others in the King’s Guard to follow me, the rest of the coup should be purely academic.”

“Academic in what manner?” It had been Kirin’s experience that kings did not willingly relinquish their thrones after losing a game of chess or a round of debates.

“My stepfather is a power-hungry man, but he’s also lazy and has a strong sense of self-preservation. Once he has lost his Guard to me, I will give him the option of unconditional surrender or death. The rest will be treaties and contracts.”

The plan did have some merit.

“Simple and straightforward. That has worked best for us in the past.”

If Kirin could keep himself from killing the knight on sight, it might actually work. It didn’t bode well for the plan that just the thought of running the man through with a sword made him all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Your mood seems to have suddenly brightened, Mage.” She studied him with her eyes squinted suspiciously, as if she guessed his thoughts.

“Just thinking about the opportunities that will be available to me once you return home.”

She quirked an eyebrow but didn’t say anything further on the subject. “Let’s break camp. If we ride hard, we can arrive at my stepfather’s doorstep in a week.”

“Have you seen enough?”

Kirin was exhausted, and even after being in the city for three days, every inch of his body still ached from the hard journey that had gotten them to Crown City in one week’s time. He didn’t mean to be rude. He could only imagine how much the scene in front of her hurt Lilly. But her pain didn’t make it any less real. Her betrothed was currently locked in a passionate embrace with another woman. And staring at the scene all night wasn’t going to make them suddenly stop or erase it from her memory. They needed a good night’s sleep so they could come up with a new plan. And that wasn’t going to happen if they continued to linger on the street staring at the couple.