Ashes And Spirit (Book 3) (7 page)

Kellinar stood there, a storm of confused emotions rolling through him, as he watched her leave. Dhovara had repeated nearly word for word what Shryden had said to him in New Sharren. When she disappeared from sight, he looked at the Dragon Hold rising high above him. It was time.

He climbed the wooden steps up the side of the bay and began the long walk to the Dragon Hold, dreading each step but knowing it had to be done. When Kellinar passed through the massive doors into the Great Hall, he sensed Taela in the records room. Her focus was intense, and her sorrow diminished though not gone.

He didn’t stop on his way past the little hall that led to the room; he had his own task to confront. Dhovara’s words chased each other around in his mind while he climbed the steps to the second level of the hold.

The door to his lair loomed in front of him, and he froze as he reached for the latch. Closing his eyes, Kellinar leaned his head against the smooth wood and tried to steel himself for the empty room that waited beyond. Anevay wouldn’t be there, would never be there again.

With a deep breath, he turned the latch and pushed the door open but didn’t step forward nor did he open his eyes. A completely irrational hope sprang in his chest. Maybe she would be there. Maybe the whole thing had been a nightmare. Maybe…

Kellinar shook his head at the ridiculous notion and opened his eyes. The room looked just like they had left it when the three of them had departed for Trilene. Guilt stabbed at him when he thought of all the ways he could have dissuaded her. Again, Dhovara’s words rang in his mind, and he knew she was right. The choice hadn’t been his—it was Anevay’s.

He walked into the room. One of Anevay’s shawls still lay across the back of a chair. Her brush lay next to Taela’s on the table. Kellinar crossed the sleeping chamber and opened the large wardrobe. Anevay’s dresses hung there next to Taela’s dresses and his nicer shirts. Several articles of what she had called practical clothing were still folded on the shelves, stacked neatly along with his and Taela’s.

It was as if she had never left and the room waited for her to walk in at any moment. The only thing that felt out of place was the pack against the wall that had been on Latia’s saddle. Someone had retrieved it before Latia and Anevay were cremated.

Kellinar reached up and grabbed a square of the lavender soap Anevay had always used. He held it beneath his nose and closed his eyes slowly, taking in the familiar and heart-wrenching scent as memories of her flooded him.

“I thought I sensed you come back.”

Kellinar turned to see Taela standing in the doorway, her red-rimmed eyes evidence of the sorrow he’d felt so strongly from her earlier. He looked down at the soap in his hand. “I had the stupidest hope that she would be here when I opened the door. But she wasn’t of course. Only her things and memories were here.”

Taela crossed the room and put her arms around him, leaning her head against his shoulder. “I had the same hope when I went into the records room. She wasn’t there either. Anevay and Latia are really gone, and I don’t know if we’ll ever be whole again.” A sad sigh escaped her. “I wish I could talk to Emallya and Bardeck about it, they lost a bondmate, but now they’re gone too. Why didn’t we talk about it before with them? Why do we always think of all the things we want to say or ask after someone dies?”

Kellinar slid an arm around her and hugged her close. “I don’t know.” His gaze wandered the room as he thought about life without Anevay and for the first time, really thought about Galdrilene without Emallya and Bardeck. Emallya had saved his life in many ways. Throughout everything that was thrown at them, Emallya was there and Bardeck too, leading with their years of knowledge and wisdom.

Maleena and Mckale were doing their best to take up where the older couple left off, but they didn’t have any more experience than he did, or any of the other first hatchers. For the first time, Kellinar felt that Galdrilene had gone from the solid rock in his life to a drifting ship.

“Galdrilene is just a place, Kellinar. Home, yes, but a place nonetheless,”
came the sending from Shryden.
“All places change. I am your rock as you are mine. Galdrilene will find the wind again and its sails will fill with air. It will just take time.”

“Thank you, Shryden, for your wisdom. I don’t think I could have survived this without you.”

“Of course you couldn’t have. We are one.”

Kellinar felt a rush of love and gratitude for the dragon as he stepped away from Taela and looked at the open wardrobe. “I think it’s time we clear this out. We can take the clothes to Marda, she’ll know what to do with them. Maybe the Crafts Guild can use the fabric for something.”

With a heavy sigh, Taela nodded. “I think you are right.” She walked over to the table and ran her fingers across Anevay’s brush, then reached for the shawl on the chair. “I think I will keep her brush and this shawl though. I don’t want to give everything of hers up.”

He nodded and glanced at the soap in his hand before gently setting it back on the shelf. He would keep that too.

As the sun slowly sank west of the bay and painted the fall sky in pinks and oranges, they worked to clean everything out, only keeping a few mementos as physical memories of the woman who had left such a hole in their lives.

The rich smells of the evening meal drifted up the stairs and into the room by the time they finished. Kellinar glanced around. With the help of a few attendants, everything had been carried out. A bracelet, a brush, two shawls, and a bar of soap were the only things that remained to show that Anevay had once lived there. They had even sorted through Anevay’s pack. Taela had lingered over the shawl Anevay had bought the day the news of the armies came in, and in the end, decided to keep it.

Emotionally exhausted, he put his arm around Taela’s waist as they walked toward the little dining room. Kellinar thanked the Fates that he and Shryden still had Taela and Paki. Kellinar glanced down at her face as she walked beside him. Her beautiful, tilted blue eyes were tired and strained, mirroring what he felt through the bond. He hoped one day soon that he would see her face light up with laughter again.

K
ellinar and Taela were already in the dining room when Maleena walked in. She smiled at them, pleased to sense an ease to the cloud of grief that had clung to her friends since the death of Anevay. It was good that an egg was going to hatch after the meal. It provided a new beginning and a reason for them to come home and say goodbye to their fallen bondmate.

With a heavy sigh, she eased into one of the chairs. Taela patted Maleena’s hand. “You look uncomfortable.”

Maleena laughed softly. “I am uncomfortable and ready for this baby to make his or her appearance.”

Kellinar glanced at the door. “Where is Mckale?”

The welcoming roars of the dragons reverberated throughout the hold, heralding the arrival of the riders.

“Busy greeting everyone. Serena arrived a little while ago. She’s washing up and changing her clothes. Jocelynn, Varnen, Kirynn, Loki, and Vaddoc are here as well,” Maleena replied.

Maleena shifted and tried to stretch in the chair. She’d grown more uncomfortable and restless the last few days, making a good night’s sleep almost impossible. Small, rippling contractions would run across her belly, then disappear. Mage Councilor Gideon had assured her this was normal and it was just her body gearing up for the task ahead.

Marda was also happy to share her own pregnancy experiences from when she was younger. As both a mother and a grandmother, as well as having attended every birth in the hold, her motherly advice and reassurances were comforting.

Serena strode through the doorway, her eyes appraising Maleena the minute she stepped into the room. She walked around the table and laid her hand on Maleena’s arm. “May I?”

“Of course.” Maleena smiled at her friend.

Warmth flushed through her body before settling in her abdomen. After a moment, it faded and Serena nodded as she drew back. “Everything is exactly as it should be. Gideon has kept me appraised on your progress, of course, through reports from Nydara or Tellnox. Even so, it’s good to see for myself. Judging by things, you don’t have much longer to wait. In fact, you are very close.”

“That’s good. I need a good, long, comfortable sleep,” Maleena said with a sigh, trying to ignore the twinge of anxiety that rose at Serena’s words. She was ready for the baby to be born, but at the same time the whole process scared her. She’d never seen a baby born. The people in her home village had kept away from her, and she had kept away from them. And the babies born in Galdrilene were handled by the Healing mages.

Serena laughed as she walked around the table. “A good, long sleep is not something you are going to get once the babe is born. In fact, you likely won’t get one of those for months.”

Maleena groaned and leaned back in the chair. Maybe she was going to be permanently sleep deprived.

Serena hugged Kellinar and Taela before sitting down. She studied them for a moment before saying, “The two of you look better.” Her face softened. “I’m glad to see it. I was afraid I was going to have to come to New Sharren and have a word with you, Kellinar.”

Kellinar chuckled and ran his hand over the braids tight against his scalp. “Shryden beat you to it. And when I came back to Galdrilene, Dhovara had a few choice words for me as well. She was rather…forceful.” He looked at Taela for a moment. “We faced our loss today. We were even able to go through Anevay’s things.”

Serena nodded. “You needed that, both the talking to and the closure of putting away her things.”

Kellinar looked thoughtful for a moment, his eyes on the table. “I’m assuming someone took care of Emallya’s and Bardeck’s lair.”

“Mckale, Marda, and I took care of it.” A little fist of grief settled in Maleena’s chest. Three months was hardly enough time to move past it all, though everyone had done a good job of moving on. The wound was still fairly fresh. It would likely be years, if ever, before they stopped missing those who were lost. “It was…difficult, but necessary. We also took care of Tallula’s and Tania’s lairs.”

Their conversation was interrupted as the others filed into the room. Kirynn was teasing Varnen and Jocelynn about their attachment to each other despite not being bondmates. “You never take a turn in bed with anyone else? Really?”

Jocelynn laughed as she sat down. “I’m afraid I’m too territorial for that.”

Varnen sat next to her. “I don’t think that would make me very happy either.”

Kirynn looked meaningfully at Vaddoc. “See, this is why one has to be careful when they choose a bed partner. They put too much importance on a romp and the next thing you know they’re attached to you and think there is more to it.”

“Do not remind me, please.” Vaddoc heaved a sighed and sat down.

As Mckale sat beside her, Maleena raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the conversation. “What happened?”

Kirynn took her customary chair at the far end of the table. “Ever since the ball in Shadereen, the woman that Vaddoc spent the night with has been following him around like a lost puppy. She wants something more permanent than a one night romp.” Kirynn shook her head and chortled. “At least I know how to choose a proper mark. Lord Deslin has the good sense to know a casual romp for what it is.”

“It is not as if I have encouraged her further.” Vaddoc growled, frustration rolling off him. “I have been quite frank with her; however, she seems unable to leave it alone.”