Ash (16 page)

“Not in this lifetime,” I replied.

He left and closed the door behind him.

I cleaned up the mess, emptied the remainder of the beer down the drain, and turned off the lights. I checked on Jake as I crept up the hall.

He looked peaceful and content as he lightly snored.

I often wondered what he dreamt about. Did he dream of Connie? No one ever thought to ask him these things, but then again, probing a child for answers wasn’t the way to finding out how he truly felt.

Pulling the blanket over his shoulder, I kissed his forehead and left the room.

As I stepped inside my bedroom, I left the door ajar, just in case Jake decided to join me. I pulled off my shirt and took off my pants. It was nearly two a.m. Nothing sobered me up more than when I hit the pillow and got the distinct aroma of Sophia’s perfume.

The woman had done something to me. I was beyond perplexed by her hasty exit. The problem was, I had gotten a taste of her, and it was going to be hard denying myself her touch.

Fuck my life.

“Rule number one, never fuck a colleague,” he said as we sipped coffee in his office.

“C’mon now, don’t be so crass, Joe,” I replied, shaking my head.

Joe laughed and seemed impressed with himself. “Just busting your balls, son.”

It was shortly after five a.m., and I was as beat as a drum. There were shifts when you were constantly going, and shifts where you had a chance to rest once your duties were fulfilled. But not this night.

“Sophia has put in a request for transfer,” Joe announced.

I looked at him, surprised and shocked. “What do you mean?”

“You tell me, Benton.” He waited for an answer.

“She’s been here for less than a month. I mean, what’s this got to do with me?”

Joe leaned back in his chair and crossed his hands. The big grey mustache on moved as his he spoke.

“Sophia hasn’t said much, to be honest, but she’s not happy. There had been rumors of a romance between you two, but Tracey assured me it was only that, rumors.”

“Tracey would be correct,” I replied, trying to remain composed.

“She seemed to have fit in here perfectly. She’s a good worker, she knows her job, and her skills are above par,” Joe said, and stared at me. “Which makes me wonder what has caused her to suddenly decide to move on.”

“I don’t know,” I lied. “Maybe there’s more to her than any of us know.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t like having to approve transfers with HR. It looks bad on the station.” He kept his eyes on me. “Maybe you can discuss things with her.”

His request caught me off guard. I shuffled uneasily in my seat and cleared my throat.

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Good,” he replied with a grin. “She’s on duty today, so stick around long enough to talk to her, okay?”

“Yes, sir,” I replied, and set my coffee down. Internally, I was screaming,
fuck
, but I kept that to myself under a false smile.

A little over an hour later, I was getting ready for handover when a knock sounded on the office door.

“Come in,” I shouted, closing the folder over my paperwork.

Sophia entered and closed the door behind her. “Joe said you wanted to talk to me.”

God, she was so fucking gorgeous. I could still remember the way she slept, how her bottom lip twitched as she dreamed.

“Yeah, take a seat,” I replied, trying my best to get the vision out of my head.

“What is it to be, Ash?”

I shook my head. “Excuse me?”

“Is this some ploy to stop me from transferring?”

I was genuinely shocked. “No!”

“Then, what the fuck is this?”

“Sophia,” I said calmly. “Please, don’t be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like a dramatic school girl.” God, she enraged me.

She sat down on the chair and glared at me. Tilting her head to the side, she bit her bottom lip.

“Ash, I can’t work here.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

I sat forward, resting my hands on the table. “No, I don’t.”

“We can’t be around each other.” She closed her eyes and looked away.

“That’s ridiculous, and you know it.”

“Is it?”

“Yes,” I replied, and searched her face for an answer that told me she felt the same way.

“Do you remember how we are around each other?” she asked.

“Of course, I do.”

Sophia stood. The chair scraped across the floor. She turned and faced the wall.

“You scare me.”

That wasn’t something I was prepared for. “What do you mean?”

“I came to work here without any stupid intentions of getting involved with anyone.” She faced me once more. “And you just had to get under my skin.”

“So this is all my fault?” Anger swirled inside me.

“Yes.”

“Fuck sake, Sophia,” I muttered, and shook my head.

I stood and walked out from behind the desk. The two of us stood two feet apart.

Sophia’s beautiful dark eyes focused on me—angry, yet sad. “You made me want you.”

“You . . . want me?”

“Yes!” she snapped. “But I am not allowing this,” she pointed at herself, and then me, “to happen.”

“We already discussed the whole thing. You went all cold on me.”

“You have no idea the kind of person I am, Ash.”

“Then, let me in.” My voice softened.

“I can’t.” She shook her head.

“Why?”

She put a hand on her forehead and replied, “Because I have to leave. I need to go home to my mother.”

“Your mother?”

I was now completely confused.

“She’s sick.”

“Oh,” I muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“Listen, is there anything else?” she asked. “I’ve my duties to complete. I can’t waste another moment talking like this. It’s no use. I want to leave.”

“Sophia.” I said her name, almost choking as the words left my mouth. “Not like this.”

“It’s done, Ash,” she said, turning around and leaving the room.

I sat in silence for a good while before I attempted showing my face. I’d burned too many bridges in my life, and I hadn’t the first clue about mending things with Sophia. The worst part was not knowing what I had done wrong.

As I put my wallet and keys in my pocket, Marco appeared in the doorway. “Sup, Benton?”

“Can’t wait to hit the sack,” I replied.

“Ah, Sleeping Beauty needs a little extra, huh?” He winked at me.

“Something like that.” I closed my locker.

“Did you hear about Dubois?” he asked.

I glanced at him before looking at my phone. “Joe mentioned something.”

“She’s a good medic. It would be a loss to the station if she goes.” He gawped at me, waiting for my reply.

I shrugged. “It’s up to her in the long term.”

“Possibly,” Marco replied.

I stepped past him, wanting nothing more than to leave the station and hit the nearest bar. Instead, I had a date with a major pain in the ass to look forward to, and there was no escaping her condemnation.

Marcy glared at me as I sat down in front of her. “You’re late.”

“Jake had trouble settling.” I set my phone on the table and tried not to look at her.

“How is he?” she asked.

“Listen, can we just try to be civil for once? This whole game is getting tiresome,” I said.

She sat back and raised her eyebrows. “Well, that would be a first for you.”

“I’ve not always been an asshole, Marcy.”

She nodded and smiled. “That is true.”

That was the first genuine smile I’d seen from Marcy since Connie died. It hadn’t always been like this between us. There was a time when we actually got on and were friends.

“Do you want a drink, or are you driving?” I asked.

“Oh, wine will be great,” she replied.

I called the waiter over, and he took an order of wine and whiskey. I threw two shots back before we placed our food order.

“You should slow down,” Marcy remarked.

“Why?” I snapped.

“Because you’ve a kid to go home to,” she said.

“It’s all good. He’s over at Connie’s parents tonight,” I said, holding my glass up and calling the waiter over again. “Keep these coming.”

He smiled, nodded, and took the empty glass from me.

“So you called,” Marcy said.

I smirked. “Yup.”

“I take it this is about my access to Jake?”

I glared at her and scoffed hearing those words. “You don’t have access to my kid.”

“Oh, I see, it’s like that, huh?”

Marcy had this completely false persona. There were always two sides to most people, but with Marcy, she wasn’t so transparent. She was more complex.

“Let’s not pretend that there was any connection,” I remarked, and read through the menu.

“Really?” she asked, glaring at me. “Considering he grew inside my body, I find that hard to believe.”

“I never dispute that fact. I remember everything you went through for us, and I’ve never stopped thanking you,” I said.

“But you did. You stopped giving a shit the moment they put Connie in the ground.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

For a brief moment, guilt swept through me. Then, I had to remember that this was what Marcy did best—bringing ugliness into something innocent and beautiful.

“How can you say that?” I snapped, and leaned across the table. “You know damn well how Connie’s passing nearly destroyed me.”

Marcy smirked and took a sip of her wine.

“Oh, I remember the tears. I can’t deny you that.”

“Fuck you, Marcy,” I replied, and took another shot of whiskey.

“Been there, done that, remember?” She grinned and refilled her glass.

Why she had to go there was beyond me. “That wasn’t sex, Marcy. That was you taking advantage of a grieving man.”

“Call it what you want, but you were the one coming around to mine late at night, remember?”

“Jesus, you make it sound so fucking seedy. You were carrying our child. I wanted to make sure you were okay, as well as the baby. Don’t try and make it out to be something it wasn’t,” I said, gripping my whiskey glass tight.

I could feel the rage inside me. I wanted to lift the glass and smash it into her face, but that wouldn’t have done me any favors.

“God, Ash, why are you always so serious?” She giggled. “Danny was the same. Continuously being a crybaby. How could anyone ever want to be with someone like that? So fucking sensitive all the time. It’s worse than being a woman.”

“Danny deserved better than you.”

“Some might agree with you.” She lifted her glass to her mouth and paused. “However, everyone knew how much he loved your precious Connie.”

That was something I hadn’t been prepared for.

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“Oh, my God, Ash. You had the wool well and truly pulled over your eyes.”

This was how Marcy intended on dealing her hand. She wanted to strip back my confidence in my wife and best friend, and was going in for the kill. I should have known. It wasn’t acceptable, and I wouldn’t stand for it. Not now. Not ever.