Ascension (8 page)

"I wouldn't try, Eve," the voice says and the speaker has a Russian accent. I turn to look at him. He's got dark hair slicked back and a goatee. He has a gun to my head and so I put my hands up and he grabs one and twists it behind my back, keeping the gun at my neck.

He practically pulls me down the stairs with him. When we reach the bottom, we emerge out of the building and are met by a concerned Vasily, who opens the door to the black SUV while the man who grabbed me shoves me inside. The men speak in Russian, exchanging angry words, Vasily shaking his head.

I sit staring out the windshield, completely numb.

Vasily escorts me up the elevator, and enters the code to the lock before pushing me into the apartment. When I emerge into the main area, I see Julien standing there, his hands on his hips, a scowl on his face.

"Vasily," I say to him. "You said he was gone."

"I lied."

Vasily enters a code on the lock and leaves the apartment. I
turn and f
ac
e
the door, cover
ing
my mouth.

"You know, Eve," Julien says from behind me, his voice hard. "I was right in the middle of something important, interviewing someone from
South Carolina
, someone involved in research on vampirism, when I get this panicked call from Vasily telling me that you'd gone missing. Right away, I think that Luke has taken you, or worse, that Soren's gone back on our bargain
,
and I'm
sick
. Then Vasily calls me back and tells me you're hiding out on top of a building, threatening to jump? Here I was, thinking someone came to harm you and I find out you
'
r
e
pouting over sick little junkie
Kate?
"

He grabs me by the arm and spins me around to face him. I close my eyes.

"You look at me when I'm talking to you."

I open my eyes.

"What have you got to say for yourself?"

I shake my head.

"I can't do this," I say, my voice breaking. "All of this." I wave at the apartment. "I'm not yours. I don't want you."

"I hate to break it to you, but you
are
mine. You have no choice about it. Once Soren learned you were alive, your fate was determined. You’re just lucky I’m giving you time to adjust."

"I'm leaving. You have no right to force me and I'm not staying with you."

"You're staying, Eve," he says and squeezes my hand - hard. "You're worth too much to our enemies to let you leave. I paid too high a price –
Michel
paid too high a price – to have you be taken by someone else."

"I'm not cooperating any longer."

"You never did."

I pull my hand away and clench my fists, dig my nails into my palms.

"All this over Kate?" He squeezes my arm. "Running away, climbing on a roof, threatening to jump?"

I try to wrestle free, but it's futile.

"No, she just made it all crystal clear."

"OK, bright girl," he says. "You tell me what's so crystal clear now that you've met Kate." He drags me over to the couch and pushes me down onto it. He stands in front of me and waits, hands on hips.

"I'll help you," I say, breathing slowly, in control now. "I'll do research. I'll work as a blood witness. But the rest – I can't do it anymore. I won't be your Adept or your little pet."

"Eve, why are you doing this? Kate's a junkie from Michel's past when he was looking after street people. He found her on the street and tried to save her life. He supports her financially. Nothing more. You saw her. For God's sake – even with good dope and medical care, she's dead."

"You're trying to tell me that he's supporting her out of compassion? I saw bites all over her and she said he liked it when she walked around naked."

"Eve," he says, bending down, grabbing my arms. "Did you see her? She's sick, dying. Michel … Ah, fuck it," he says and closes his eyes. "He
bit
her so he wouldn't
bite
you.
Dieu
." He shakes his head. "There. I said it. Michel's a morally-fucked-up former priest who didn't want to feed on you to keep you pure. So he fed on sick little Kate who's donated her blood to him so he'll give her a good death." He shakes his head slowly, and he looks truly pained. "Being with you made him need it from someone. She wants him to kill her when she's ready to die. Now, I have to do it, just like I have to take you. There. He didn't fuck her. He gave her nice fuck dreams like I gave you. He made her feel good about herself in her last days. That's all." He lets go of my arms.
"It's the one thing we vampires do that has any value."

I sit in silence, not knowing what to believe but I didn't feel deceit when he touched me.
 
He rubs his forehead as if exasperated.

"You have to understand about vampires," he says, looking at me. "We don't survive on blood alone. We can, but we become dead to the world of humans, seeing them only as prey. We need the physical contact, the connection, to prevent that. We need to feed on a warm body and feel some kind of human connection or else we lose o
u
r humanity. Michel was so intent on keeping you pure that he bit her, so he wouldn't bite you. Saint and sinner," he says, shrugging. "That's my totally fucked-up brother."

I look away from him because he's being so honest
, it's hard to meet his eye
.

"Now Soren's got him in payment for your life and I'm a monster, and all I want is to protect you and make you happy in his place. And I think I can make you happy."

"You can't."

He just stares at me, shaking his head slowly.

"What is it with you? You're more trouble than you're worth. Screwed up. You actually think this is all about you. It isn't. But, OK," he says and his voice sounds as if he's on the edge of losing control. "If you want it totally professional, so be it. Just remember this – this is war. People don't get to be happy." He just stands there. "Grow up, Eve," he says. "Grow the fuck up."

With that, he leaves the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

CHAPTER 7

"Fear may induce the show of submission, but love only can truly subjugate a haughty spirit."

Mary Cowden Clarke

Julien's been out of town for the past day
on some business and Vasily has kept a low profile so I’ve been alone most of the time. Vasily makes me meals but barely looks at me. I notice a bruise on his cheek and a butterfly suture on his lip.

“Did Julien hurt you?” I say when he hands me a plate of food at supper.

Vasily shrugs. “He was very upset. Thought Soren had taken you. Thought you were suicidal. I was wrong to have left you alone.”

I shake my head, disgusted with Julien, filled with guilt that Vasily paid for my disobedience.

When he arrives back later that night, Julien strides in the apartment looking all chipper and rubs his hands together, as if excited to be home.

"Vasily," he says, his voice almost ebullient. "I've made plans for our little outing later. Perhaps you could go downstairs and finish the arrangements. I have some work to do here."

Vasily nods.

"Keep stiff upper lip," Vasily says quietly as he passes by.

I frown, not knowing what he means. Once the door closes and we're alone, Julien takes my hand, pulling me to one of the over-stuffed couches in the small sitting area. He sits in the middle and before I can react, he pulls me face down over his lap, one arm pinning me across the upper back, the other fumbling with the zipper to my skirt.

"What are you-" I stop, gasping when I realize what he intends to do – he's going to
spank
me. "Don't you dare!" I try with all my might to wrestle my way free, expecting to fall into fight trance, but nothing happens. He's disarmed me before I can respond. "Don't you touch me!"

"Oh, I'm going to do more than touch you, Eve," he says, yanking my skirt down below my knees, my panties following. "I'm going to spank your bottom just like I said. You disobeyed my orders and you have to be punished. But don't worry - it's going to please me far more than it hurts you."

"I could kill you," I say. "I will kill you if you hit me."

"Spare me the false threats. You can't beat me any longer," he says. "I'm going to spank you like a good Master should when his slave disobeys. And you're just going to take it."

"I'm not your slave!" I try to fight, but he's already grabbed hold of my body using his powers, making me unable to resist except for a paltry
struggle
.

"Oh, I like it when you
wiggle
like that," he says, his voice all lusty. "It'll make this even more enjoyable for me." He holds me down and whispers in my ear. "But the more you fight, the angrier I get. The angrier I get, the harder I'll spank."

"This isn't the way it's supposed to be," I say, panic in my voice. "A Master and slave work all this out before hand. There are safe words. There are agreements to sign!"

"This is real world, Eve, not some sex game. Michel already covered all this. I don't need safe words," he says. "I can tell when it's time to stop."

"My pain will block you from knowing when to stop," I say.

He's still for a moment, and I stop struggling, thinking that he's realized that my pain block nullifies any advantage he has through touch telepathy. My buttocks are now completely bare, and he's stroking his hand over them softly.

"I'll just have to take that chance," he says, but even now, I feel his reluctance when he touches me, as if he's worried that what I say is right. "You need this. You want this, even if you don't admit it to yourself. So, give me a safe word, Eve, just in case I can't read you."

"No," I say. "I'm not playing along."

He doesn't hit me just yet. Instead he strokes his hand over me, cupping my cheeks.

"All right then, I'll give you one. Red. If you need me to stop, say red."

I don't reply. I'm not going to play his little game of dominance and submission, no matter how much it appeals to my sick brain.

"You know, Eve, I'm not really into this whole pain/pleasure thing," he says, his voice all husky. "I tend to just like the pleasure part. However, I think I might just enjoy this a little too much because you have a very nice ass.
Very
nice," he says in a playful voice. "Peaches and cream. It's a shame I have to make it all red but when I'm done, I'll make sure to kiss it all better."

"Don't do it," I say, unable to keep my resolve not to resist, "or I'll hate you."

"I'll just have to take that risk. You have this coming." With that, he brings his hand down on my left buttock with a loud smack, his hand landing down low, the pain sharp. I cover my mouth with my hands, not wanting to make a sound and give him any satisfaction.

"That," he says, rubbing the place where he slapped me. "That's for sneaking away from Vasily the other day. The poor man was frantic when he realized you were gone. He was afraid I'd kill him for it and I probably should have but I'm just too soft-hearted and only punched him."

I tense up, waiting for the next blow.

"And this," he says, another blow on my other buttock. "This is for leaving the apartment and going downstairs, finding Kate. You know you have to just obey, Eve. The rules are there for a reason. They're not arbitrary. You think you need to know everything about everything but this is a military campaign and you know what I
think
you need to know, nothing more."

He rubs the spot gently. I'm determined I won't make a sound, won't give him the pleasure of my tears.

"This—" Smack! "This is for making me tell you the truth about Kate when I didn't want you to know. When you didn't
need
to know."

The spank stings, but it's the helplessness that gets to me – I'm at his total mercy. He could spank me as much or little as he wants, as hard as he wants, and there's nothing I can do about it except use the safe word and that would admit defeat.

"I
hate
you."

"Ah, but I don't hate
you
, Eve, and that's all that matters. I don't hate spanking your sweet little derriere. When I met you that first night in the diner, when I got a look at you as a grown woman, I was so sad to think Michel found you first. But now, I have you all to myself and oh, you have such a nice little ass, all round and jiggly when I slap it. It makes me think of how it'll jiggle when I fuck you from behind. And look - now it's getting a lovely shade of pink."

"You're a bastard and you’ll never fuck me from behind."

That makes him laugh. "Yes, technically I am and considering what an old letch my father was, how could I be anything else?” After a moment, he bends down and whispers in my ear. “And I
will
fuck you from behind Eve.” He pulls my hair away from my face, presses his cheek against mine. “And you’ll love it when I do.”

With that, he smacks me even harder than before, and for the first time, I become scared as I realize how powerful he is and how he really could do whatever he wants to me, ignoring any safe word I did use.

"That’s for putting yourself in such danger. And this," he says and smacks me even harder without first rubbing, the pain sharp. "This is for making me have to kiss Luke's ass to get you back. Now he's going to be out to get you any way he can and I'll have to watch my back every minute of the day until I kill him."

"Stop it - you're hurting me!"

"I hope so," he says smacking me again, this time so hard that I cry out loud, tears of anger and frustration springing to my eyes. "That's for making me spank you."

"You're a sadist!"

"No, far from it," he says, "but you are a little bit of a masochist, aren't you? I'm up for administering a little spanking now and then to help out, especially when a girl forgets to do as she's told." He starts to rub my buttocks again, his hand moving lightly over my skin.

I can't help it – I cry, my hands covering my eyes.

"Shhh," he whispers. "I hope you've learned your lesson. If you have, I'll stop."

I don't respond, just try to hold back the tears, wiping my eyes on my sleeve.

"Tell me what lesson you've learned, Eve."

"I hate you!"

"Wrong answer." He strikes me again, and I jam my fist in my mouth to stop from giving him the satisfaction of hearing me cry out. He rubs my buttocks again, his hands moving in slow circles over each one. "That was for scaring me half to death by your stunt on the roof and for making me think Soren had you. Now, try again."

I refuse to answer, biting down hard in anticipation of the next blow.

"I assure you, Eve, that I'll keep spanking you until you give me the right answer. I love spanking your nice little ass, imagining all the other things I'm going to do to your sweet little body when I'm done. Now tell me, what lesson have you learned today?"

Finally, I give in. "Not to leave without permission."

"That's right. You know you’re not to go out by yourself because it’s dangerous. You went out anyway and got into trouble. You could have died." He strokes my skin and then leans down and kisses one buttock, then the other. He lays his cheek against me, and it's cool and soothing. "You could have
died
."

I lie still, my breath shallow, my face flushed. His fingers trace the circle of one of my cheeks, sliding down between them then back up again. In spite of my anger, I can't help but feel aroused at the way he's touching me and I hate myself for it. My senses seem heightened after the spanking, my nerves tingling, my body responding to his touch and I feel myself become wet, swollen.

"I'm happy to be spanking you at all," he says and kisses my buttock once again. "I was afraid I'd lose you. I
can't
let that happen."

I lie quietly, barely able to breathe. When he turns me over, I don't resist, feeling almost drugged. When he lies fully on top of me, I'm still, my eyes closed, letting him touch me, letting him kiss me, his mouth on mine, his tongue touching mine. He feels so much like Michel, he looks so much like Michel, he tastes so much like Michel, that I let him. He rips my blouse open, pushing the fabric aside, rubbing his face between my breasts, his hands cupping them, finger tracing the cut above my nipple, which is now only a thin white seam, his tongue following it.

Finally, he rises up on his elbows and I open my eyes. He looks down, one hand wiping the tears from my cheeks. He's so beautiful in every way – just like Michel. The blue eyes, the thick black lashes, the black hair, pale skin, the square jaw, the stubble.

But he has that scar. His hair is short. He's
not
Michel.

"Eve," he whispers, leaning back down to nuzzle my neck, his breath in my ear. "You have to obey. It'll make everything so much easier. Now, just let me in."

I lie beneath him, naked except for the blouse around my shoulders and the skirt and panties around my knees. My body responds despite my mind refusing him and I don’t let him in, my nails digging into my palms again. He hangs his head, his eyes closed. Then he climbs off the couch and leaves me alone.

I lie there for a few moments trying to understand what happened, my body so ready but my mind so unwilling. Finally, I get up, adjusting my clothes. I go to my bed and crawl back in it, pulling the covers over my head, crying as silently as I can manage.

I sleep for several hours, waking up when the sun goes down. I get out of bed and go to the bathroom to inspect my ass, to see what damage Julien did to me. My butt is no longer red but it's tender to the touch. I have a bath and get into my nightgown and socks. I remember how I felt after the spank and can't tell if it was from him affecting my brain or from the spanking. My body was ready. If he had just kept on kissing and touching me, I would have let him in eventually. But I felt as if I had to make him suffer.

And then I think I'm seriously fucked. Part of me just wants to give in and let this happen between us. But I still fight it, not yet sure if I'm ready to submit to him. I barely know him, no matter how much he looks like Michel. Submission, total submission? It scares me. Will I lose myself and become like O in The Story of O? That would be horrible. I am
not
her. I will not
become
her. She's everything I fear—a pitiful empty shell of a woman defined by the men who fight over her.

Later, Julien arrives while I'm sitting at the piano, practicing alone in the darkened living area, playing a Bach piece I know by heart, Prelude in C Sharp Minor. I always loved Bach when I was first learning piano – the perfection of his work, the precision needed to play it properly. I loved the discipline involved.

He doesn't come over but I know he's standing at the kitchen, drinking a glass of blood, listening to me. I finish playing and just sit in the stillness, wondering what he's going to do next. He comes to me and takes my hand, pulling me with him to the seating area again.