Arranged by the Stars (6 page)

She awakened something
inside him that had been asleep for so long; he’d forgotten its
existence. “Wear a sari, he likes tradition.”

Whoever invented saris
did so with torture in mind. After two failed attempts, Ash flopped
on the bed and looked around. Where was the nanny or aunty when you
needed one? She blew the errand strands of hair off her face in
frustration. If Kieran’s plan was for her to impress his parents,
she wasn’t going to do it by showing them she couldn’t tie a sari.
Something any ‘Indian girl’ could do with her eyes closed. Maybe
her aunt was right. She cringed at the thought of something like
that being true.

A soft sigh slipped past
her moist lips. She’d made it this far without crawling back home.
Surely women all over the world faced this problem all the time and
dealt with it. She could dress herself. In a sari. She looked at
the green silky length on the bed and recoiled thinking she would
rather deal with a cobra, then that piece of cloth. In fact
spitting cobras were cute little creatures. She chuckled. Miss
Argentina was nice, but get on her wrong side and she turned into a
spitting cobra.

Another searching gaze
around the room and she set eyes on the laptop tucked neatly on the
desk. The idea was so simple she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t thought
of it before. Everybody used the internet these days. There had to
be something online on how to tie a sari. “Brilliant.”

The light knock on the
door made her jump. “Ash, are you talking to me?”

Ash shook her head.
Talking to yourself was the first sign of insanity. A moment later
she realised Kieran couldn’t see her, she had work to do.
“Nothing,” she said. Now it was confirmed. Her score card was a few
zeros short.

“
Are you
ready?” his voice held that hint of impatience she was beginning to
recognise.

“
No. One
minute.” She opened the laptop and started her search.

Following the nine step
instruction on putting a sari, without tripping over herself, she
looked in the mirror a few minutes later and smiled. Not bad for
her first try.

“
Ash?” More
angst from the other side of the door.

Proud of her achievement
she gave him permission to enter while she checked her
make-up.

As an ex-beauty queen,
Ash was used to admiration, so when she turned, she expected
Kieran’s gaze to be fixed on her. Her heart gave an unfamiliar kick
against her ribs and she caught the edge of her lip between her
teeth. “Okay?” she’d never felt hesitant before.

His gaze went from her
sandaled feet, with perfectly painted toes, to her hair. “Are you
trying to kill me?”

She lifted her chin in
confusion. “Too much? Do you think they won’t believe we’re
together?”

His palm made a sound as
it lightly slapped his forehead. “You’re insane. Look at
yourself.”

Ash pulled her arm away.
“What are you saying? You have to admit, I don’t look
bad.”

Kieran turned his head
from side to side as he tried to release the tension from his neck.
“Look at yourself. The sari is tied all wrong. This is my
punishment, isn’t it?”

When Ash saw her
reflection she realised her mistake. Her many mistakes. They would
need a miracle to get to the hospital on time and she was nervous
enough about meeting his father.

“
I’m sorry.”
She knew it wouldn’t help.

“
Have you
never—?” he rubbed his hands over his face. “Well obviously not,”
he said spotting the laptop on the bed.

“
I’ll redo
it. You can help me. It will take a few minutes.” She started
taking off the wrap before he had a chance to answer.

He covered his eyes.
Typical old-school Indian boy style. Being in the beauty industry
had her confident to undress in necessary situations. This
qualified as a necessary situation, but it was quaint to have him
stand there, and be concerned about her dignity. “Really, Kieran?
You are a doctor, aren’t you? Quit standing there and hold this
piece here. I will start tucking this bit in and making the pleats.
When you are done, walk towards me. Okay?”

His eyes opened and he
reached out to take the flimsy material from her. She held his hand
as she passed the end of the sari to him. His fingers felt warm.
She wasn’t sure if her fingers had become highly sensitised
overnight but heat suffused her vessels and there was a light
buzzing along the nerve endings of her arms.

His gaze met hers and she
saw a darkness pass in that brown gaze. It rocked something deep
within her, made her catch her breath. She stalled, until she
remembered why she was here. She had a goal. Freedom from the bonds
of marriage. This man, like others, was a trap. She had her own
destiny. One she had to fight for.

“
Ash?” His
voice was husky and she was forced to look up.

“
Yes?” She
wasn’t oblivious to the quiet danger of this sexy male. He was the
one you went to bed dreaming about when you were little. The one
you hoped would be riding to your rescue when the time
came.

“
Thank you. I
am not sure if I can do this without you.” His shoulders
dropped.

So different to see such
a strong man unsure and lost. Raw emotion scraped at her insides.
It would be so easy to walk into his arms and have him wrap those
muscled arms around her. Breathe in that male scent and feel that
warmth and security. Feel that want and need. So easy to do those
things and forget about those dreams growing up.

“
They must be
waiting,” the words sounded broken and foreign even to her
ears.

Half an hour later they
were walking towards the hospital room side by side. She couldn’t
keep her pallu in place and it kept falling off her
shoulder.

She could sense his
nervousness. “I think dad needs reassurance. Try not to go in half
naked. They are very traditional.”

“
Thanks. I
got that the first hundred times you told me,” she pulled the pallu
tighter around her shoulders and grunted. Like he would even know
what half naked was? He was dressed in his suite again and that
ridiculous tie. Who did ties in the tropics? Madness.

The fistful of lies at
the base of her throat made it difficult to swallow or breathe, she
could taste this morning’s breakfast. She flinched at the thought
of being labelled a fraudster. Yet again. She pulled the bangles on
her wrists up and down her forearms.

When Kieran’s mother
greeted her, she stuck out her cold limp hand and then yelped.
Exactly like a puppy dog because the grip was tight and unexpected.
Taking a second to register the challenge, she straightened her
spine and shook the older woman’s hand with too-much
vigour.

“
Mrs Kanna,
it’s so good to see you” After her hand was released from the
vice-like grip she turned to the older man and smiled sweetly
wondering what torture he had in store. Ready to duck or dive she
cautiously lowered her head and placed a kiss on his
forehead.

Kieran’s mother kissed
her son on the cheek and kept her hand on his arm, while she
watched Ash suspiciously. Many times Ash had been warned about
mother-in-laws and the hold they had on their sons. Julie Kanna was
a formidable opponent. Pity she didn’t know this relationship was a
farce and her son was safe.

This was one woman who
would have no problem tying a sari or cooking a five- course meal
and she probably did both while breastfeeding Kieran.

“
Kieran, how
are things at the clinic? Jessie said there was an emergency
yesterday.”

“
Papa, you
need to keep this on.” Kieran pulled the oxygen mask back in place
and placed a kiss on his father’s forehead. His gaze went to the
machines hooked up to him and Ash watched his shoulders drop as he
took in his father’s condition.

She couldn’t help but
admire the dedication he had for his family. At times like these
she wished her parents had lived. Her eyes stung and she looked
away. If they had, would she be running away from an impossible
situation?

*****

He knew why he wanted to
leave that room. Knew it like it was his next breath. But Kieran
couldn’t figure out why there was a troubling darkness behind Ash’s
gaze. She was barely a few feet from him, but it could have been a
galaxy.

His gaze swept away from
her. “Papa, you shouldn’t be getting reports from Jess. You need to
focus on resting and getting better.”

His father wouldn’t
change his ways but he couldn’t help feeling there was something
more behind that look in his eyes.

“
Kieran, you
shouldn’t be working there. It’s not good for you. I wish you would
stay away,” he lay back and closed his eyes.

His father was a ghost of
himself now from what he remembered. An apparition of the man he
grew up with. It was impossible not to take on some of the guilt or
not to feel responsibility for this. “I wish you would have called
me sooner.” He took his father’s hand. “I would have come, if I’d
known.”

“
The only
reason I am allowing you to work there now is because Latha is
away.” A watered down smile was all he could manage.

Maybe he’d slowly become
desensitised to any mention of Latha. He hadn’t flinched at the
mention of her name this time. No kick in the gut. Still the guilt,
but maybe in a twisted way, this was progress.

“
Latha works
at the clinic? Is she a doctor too?” Ash asked.

Kieran’s teeth gritted
together. He should have warned her not to say anything. Especially
not about anything Latha related. Although that would have required
a full length conversation and he had been trying to avoid
that.

Julie’s gaze went from
Ash to Kieran. The suspicion was peaked and tension in the room was
now kicked up a few notches. “I am surprised you haven’t told your
future wife about the woman you were to marry,” her gaze focused on
Ash.

He should’ve known that
his mother would’ve coloured the conversation for her own benefit.
She adored Latha and had dreams about her becoming a daughter in
the family. Ash was now standing in the way.

“
Mama, not
here.” He gently pulled her hand away from his arm and walked to
Ash.

Like clockwork her pallu
fell, and their fingers touched when they reached for the end of
the sari together and lifted it onto her shoulder. He held her hand
a second longer than necessary and kept her gaze locked with
his.

Her lower lip quivered
and for all the confidence she strutted around the place, he saw
the girl within. Surprised he hadn’t met this softer more
approachable Ash before, he took her hand and placed a kiss on her
fingers. If only she knew how thankful he was. Her eyes slanted
away and she lowered her lashes. Something tugged deep inside him
and he moved closer to her. The animalistic need to protect was so
strong that he was ready to place his arms around her, yet he knew
such a gesture would be unwelcome and unnecessary.

He turned to his parents.
“We have to leave. There is work to do at the clinic. I will see
you later.” He wanted to say more. He wanted to wipe away the hurt
in Ash’s eyes. Yet there was something more to her sadness that he
could not reach.

As he hurried her away,
the sense of loss that crossed the depths of her eyes became a dull
ache in his chest. As much as he rubbed at the spot, it refused to
cease being a distant nuance of something not quite
right.

*****

Living in London was
different from being here in Goa. The city living was fast paced
and serious, there was never time to stop, or think. Each morning
he woke wondering if he was going to find his way home again. Here
it was something else and he was still unsure if it was Goa or Ash
that made the difference.

Kieran looked out at the
long stretch of beach and found what was fast becoming his compass
at the far end doing some comical pose. Mimicking some new age
hippies scattered on the creaminess of the crusty distance, he
couldn’t help but catch his breath at the beauty of it.

His visit to his parents
ate more of his soul than he’d realised, but watching Ash do Yoga
poses pulled something deep from within and he felt restored.
Restored enough for the flow of warm energy to sizzle along his
veins. The effect was the same whenever she was around, and he was
finding it hard to deny that it was so easy with Ash. So easy
because he knew there was no danger of it being real. No danger of
it turning into something he couldn’t handle. Like marriage and
forever.

His steps grew heavier as
the distance between him and the fallen beauty became shorter. As
if she sensed him, she turned and smiled. A benign smile that years
ago he would have fallen in love with. With one last stretch she
finished and bowed down to her instructor.

“
You do
Yoga?” he asked as she joined him.

She laughed and widened
her gaze.

Was it possible for a
laugh to sound like ice falling into a crystal glass? Because right
now, that’s all he could think of. When he heard her, the sound
sent rivulets of pleasure down sensitive spots in his body and he
had to shudder.