Anticipation (25 page)

Corey was in the supply room already, sorting through a box of inks.

“Hey,” he said as she entered.

“Sorry, in a rush,” she said, yanking open the autoclave and pulling out her machine.

“Can I help?” Corey offered.

“Hell, yeah. Can you grab my foot pedal and cord, and some Kuro Sumi Greywash and Soft Cherry?” she asked, busy laying her equipment on her tray.

“On it,” Corey said, and she heard him foraging in boxes behind her, searching for the inks she’d specified.

“Here,” Corey said, dropping the ink bottles onto her tray and draping her foot pedal and cord over her shoulder. “Before you go, word to the wise — Eddie’s hungover and in a foul mood. Duck and run if you see him, babe.”

She paused, frowning. “Hungover?”

“Yep. He had eyes like roadmaps this morning. He was so bad Steffi had to give him some of those magic eye drops of hers.”

Blue stared at Corey, unsettled. Had Eddie tied one on because of her?

God. This situation was so messed up.

“Thanks for the heads-up,” she said.

Worry and guilt eating at her, Blue went to set up her workroom. Her client was a return customer, back to get the shading done on the cherry blossom tree Blue had outlined on her shoulder during her first visit. Blue apologized profusely for her tardiness, but Rhianna confessed she’d spent the whole time flirting with Hans, so as far as she was concerned, they were sweet.

The next two hours of Blue’s life were devoted to a few square inches of skin on Rhianna’s left shoulder. Working quickly but carefully, she shaded the cherry blossom tree until it had dimension and texture. Blue made sure Rhianna got her full time and then some to make up for being late and sent her on her way, sore but happy.

Rolling her neck, Blue headed for the staff room. She was still in the corridor when she heard raised voices, and her steps slowed as she tried to work out if it was prudent to intrude or not. The gang at Brothers Ink were a pretty easy-going bunch, but occasionally tempers flared, as they did in any tight-knit workplace.

“It’s not much to ask, Steffi. You and Hans are the front line of this operation, and if we can’t rely on you, we’ve got nothing.” Eddie’s voice echoed down the corridor, sharp with anger.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened,” Steffi said, a pronounced quaver in her voice. Eddie didn’t lose his temper very often, but when he did, it was scary — probably because it was such a rarity.

Blue didn’t hesitate, plunging into the fray. After all,
she
was the one Eddie was really angry at, not Steffi. Blue wasn't about to stand by and let someone else cop flack intended for her.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked as she entered the staff room. She glanced at Steffi. “You okay?”

Steffi nodded, but Blue could see she was on the verge of tears.

Eddie made a rude noise. “Don’t start, Blue.”

“How about you stop?” she said.

“I’m okay, Blue. Seriously,” Steffi said.

It was a blatant lie, and everyone in the room knew it.

“Go grab a coffee or something,” Blue said, setting a hand on Steffi’s shoulder and turning her toward the door. “Hans can look after reception on his own for a while.”

“In case you’d forgotten, I’m the boss around here,” Eddie said, his voice dangerously calm. “And Steffi and I were having a conversation.”

Blue caught Steffi’s eye. “Go. I’ve got this.”

Steffi didn’t so much as glance in Eddie’s direction as she rushed from the room.

Blue waited until she was gone before crossing her arms over her chest and eyeing the angry Brazilian in front of her.

“Proud of yourself?” she asked.

“Don’t push me today.” Eddie’s nostrils flared as he glared at her, the tendons standing out in his neck.

“If you’ve got a problem with me, talk to me. Don’t take it out on Steffi or Corey or anyone else, okay?”

Eddie said something in Portuguese before switching to English. “Trust me, you don’t want to hear what I have to say.”

“Give it your best shot, tough guy. I can handle it.”

He took a step toward her, his eyes hard with anger. “Okay, fine. Here it is: Reid Thompson is an asshole. Every time you fuck him you demean yourself.”

Even though she was prepared for his anger, Blue flinched. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Are you telling me you didn’t go home with him last night and let him do you ten different ways?”

“I’m not telling you anything, because it’s none of your goddamned business.”

“So you admit it. You went home with him.”

She was so furious she felt as though her whole body was vibrating.

“This is why us sleeping together was the worst idea in the history of the world,” she said, stabbing a finger at him. “This moment, right now. You don’t own me, Eddie.”

Eddie’s face was tight, his cheeks slashed with color. “So I’m not supposed to give a shit that you’d rather be with a knuckle-dragging asshole like Thompson instead of me? That you’d choose him over me?”

“Says the man who has a revolving door on his bedroom.”

“That’s right, I forgot —
I’m
the problem,” Eddie said.

“How about you both take it down a notch?” Raf said from the doorway.

Blue started. She’d been so focused on Eddie, on their fight, she’d forgotten everything else. Like the fact they were at work, with clients and colleagues only a few rooms away. She certainly hadn’t heard or seen Raf arrive in the staff room.

“Sorry. I guess that was pretty loud…?” she said sheepishly, aware of hot color rushing into her face.

“You could say that,” Raf said.

Eddie turned his back, walking to the sink. She could see how tense he was, how much he was holding himself in check.

“I’ll go,” she said.

“It’s okay, Eddie’s coming upstairs with me,” Raf said.

“I don’t mind. I’m on my lunch break, anyway.” She moved toward the door, but Raf didn’t get out of her way immediately.

“You okay?” he asked quietly, his eyes concerned.

“Absolutely.”

“All right. You know where I am if you need me, okay?” he said, reaching out to rest a hand on her shoulder.

“I do. Thanks.”

She ducked past him and into the hallway, making a beeline for the rear exit. Once she was outside, she stood blinking in the bright sunlight, unsure what to do.

She felt dazed. As though she’d just survived a cyclone. Barely.

Eddie had never spoken to her like that in all the years of their friendship. Ever. And she’d never yelled at him like that, either. They’d both been so out of control, so angry they hadn’t cared who heard or what they said. Their only intent had been to hurt each other — and to win.

Although what the prize might be was beyond her.

This is what happens when you fuck your best friend. Congratulations
.

She pressed a hand to her chest, hating how jittery and wound up she was. Hating the fact that the person who had made her that way was Eddie — her best, most beloved friend.

Her phone chirruped in her back pocket. It was Hans, texting to let her know a call had come in for her, and he’d had to take a message because no one could find her.

Translation: no one had been game enough to interrupt her and Eddie screaming at each other.

She closed her eyes for a long beat as it hit her for the first time that everyone now knew that she and Eddie had slept with each other. There was no way they couldn’t know, given how loudly she and Eddie and been screaming at each other.

Just what she needed on top of everything else. Now everyone would be looking at them out of the corner of their eyes and wondering. Ink wasn’t exactly a hotbed of gossip, but for sure she and Eddie would be the topic of a few hushed conversations.

Shaking her head, she read the rest of the message, her eyebrows rising in surprise.

Sienna had called.

She hadn’t heard from Sienna since her former foster sister had asked for money and Blue had told her it would be the last time. At that point in her life, Sienna had been battling heroin addiction, and Blue had hated knowing that whatever money she gave her friend went straight up her arm. That was three years ago now, though.

Three years of silence.

She considered the number warily, not sure she wanted to invite Sienna back into her life. They had shared some tough times together, but Blue had learned early that she couldn’t save people from themselves. Too many foster care placements and group homes had taught her that painful lesson.

On the other hand, if she didn’t call, it would play on her mind. Screw it. Might as well get it over and done with. It wasn’t as though Sienna was going to ruin her day, after all. Eddie had already taken care of that.

She dialed quickly, listening to the phone ring at the other end, one arm braced across her belly as she tried to anticipate what Sienna might want.

Money was at the top of the list, followed by a place to stay. Or maybe there was something else going on, trouble with the police or —

“Hello?” Sienna’s voice came down the line, familiar even after three years.

“Sienna, it’s Blue. I got your message.”

“Oh, Blue. I’m so glad you returned my call. I wasn’t sure you would,” Sienna said, her high, slightly childish voice heavy with an underlying sadness that made Blue frown.

“Is something wrong?”

“I’m so sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Alice died on Sunday. I wasn’t sure if someone else had contacted you, but I thought I’d double check just in case, since the funeral is this Thursday up in Albury.”

Blue closed her eyes for a long beat. Alice was a foster mother who had opened her home and her heart to hundreds of kids during her lifetime. When Blue was nearly eighteen she had spent six months living with Alice, Blue’s last stop in the system before she’d gained the legal right to look after herself.

“Thanks for letting me know, Sienna. I appreciate it.”

“Alice was one of the good ones. I figured you’d want to know.”

“Are you going? To the funeral, I mean?” Blue asked.

“Yeah, I figure I owe it to her,” Sienna said. “How are you, anyway?”

“I’m good. Same as always, really,” Blue said. Her throat was tight with suppressed emotion. “Listen, Sienna, I need to go. But I’ll see you up in Albury. Do you have any idea where the funeral is?”

“I’ve got the details somewhere. How about I call back when I find them?” Sienna offered.

“That’d be great, thanks. I’ll see you on Thursday.”

Blue ended the call and tucked her phone into her pocket. Her eyes burned with the need to cry. Sienna was right — Alice had been one of the good ones, one of the few shining lights in the dark years after Blue’s parents had died. Alice had taken all the shit Blue had thrown at her and offered patience, kindness, and absolution in return. It wasn’t until Blue had been out on her own, able to see the wood for the trees, that she’d appreciated the true value of her foster mother’s simple honesty and decency. At the time, she’d seen Alice as yet one more person who didn’t understand or care. One more person who couldn’t replace her parents or give Blue what she needed.

Alice must have been only fifty-four or -five when she died. What a shitty deal for a woman who had given so much to the world. But since when had life been fair? Blue sniffed, then blinked away the moisture pooling in her eyes. She had a client due in fifteen minutes. She needed to set up. She couldn’t afford to lose it, even if the urge to cry was almost overwhelming.

Sniffing again, she went inside. Her footsteps slowed when she passed the foot of the staircase, and she stopped and glanced up the stairwell toward Eddie and Rafel’s office.

If they hadn’t slept together, she could climb these stairs right now and tell Eddie her bad news and know, absolutely, that he would have her back. He would open his arms for her, and hold her while she let her sadness leak out. He’d remind her that there was good in the world as well as sorrow, laughter as well as tears. He’d be her friend. Her rock.

But she couldn’t go to Eddie today. She certainly couldn’t seek comfort in his arms. She’d destroyed any chance of that happening when she’d crossed the line with him.

For the first time in a long time, she felt the ache of true loneliness. She’d isolated herself by sleeping with Eddie, cut off her main source of connection and comfort in the world. Right now, right this second, with the weight of Alice’s death bearing down on her and the echo of Eddie’s angry words still echoing in her head, she couldn’t imagine how that would change.

She turned away from the stairs. She needed to set up her gear, and while she was at it, she needed to psych herself up to spend the next five hours tattooing ink into a stranger’s skin.

Then and only then could she go home and fall apart.

Chapter Seventeen

“Don’t worry, I’ll apologize to Steffi,” Eddie said the moment Raf entered the office
.

He’d been sitting staring at the wall for ten minutes while Raf settled things downstairs, stewing over what had happened, and the only solid conclusion he’d come to so far was that he’d acted like a dick.