Another Way to Fall (8 page)

Emma had always felt at ease in Ben’s company and she had often surprised herself at how much she could open up to him. She respected his opinion and his judgement when it came to the bistro and as he sat in front of her, sharing his fears, she didn’t think there was anything she couldn’t trust him with.

‘Not when there’s still so much left to do,’ Emma told him. ‘I won’t rest until I’ve knocked Louise into shape so she can run this place properly on her own, and then there are things happening at work that would have me turning in my grave, so I suppose you’re right. Giving up isn’t an option.’ Emma took an excited breath. At last she had found someone she could talk to who wouldn’t wince at the vaguest mention of death and she was tempted to take Ben hostage.

‘So why were you frowning at your laptop?’ Ben asked.

As if Ben had magically summoned its return, the frown reappeared on Emma’s brow. ‘That would be because of the book I’m trying to write.’

‘And is this how great writers work? Direct thought transfer rather than actual typing?’

‘Hmm, very funny. I was waiting for inspiration to strike.’

‘So what’s this story about?’ Ben asked, little knowing that so far only Mr Spelling had been trusted with the premise of her opus.

There was something in Ben’s eyes that made Emma pause only briefly before opening up her heart. ‘OK, this is top secret. You tell no-one,’ she said, as if he had spent hours trying to wear her down into a confession. ‘It’s a story about someone like me, who has battled illness but, in her case, she wins. She gets the one thing I never did, the all-clear.’ Emma paused long enough for Ben’s nod of agreement, which he dutifully provided. ‘I need to write about what she would then do with her life. I know you’re supposed to write about what you know but that’s the whole point, I’m writing about what hasn’t happened in my life.’

‘Your life? So this someone that’s like you, is you?’

Emma pursed her lips but it was too late to take it back. ‘I still can’t escape the fact that I haven’t experienced enough to draw upon,’ she said.

‘Somehow I think you’re doing yourself a disservice. I would have thought that someone who’s gone through what you’ve been through has had more than their fair share of experiences.’

‘Experiences of facing death, yes, but not of living. I haven’t been anywhere, I haven’t done anything,’ Emma said, almost in a whisper that sizzled with emotion. Her head dropped, as she felt the little hope she clung to fizzle and die.

Ben leaned over and, hooking his finger under her chin, lifted her head so she had to look back at him. ‘I thought we had just agreed that you hadn’t given up on life yet. There’s still time to make those experiences happen and write about them.’

Emma dropped her eyes and tried to lower her head but Ben’s hand remained firmly in place. She turned her head to escape him. ‘Time to write about them, perhaps, but not time to experience them too,’ she said softly.

Ben took his hand away and Emma’s gaze came back to meet his. ‘Tell me what I have to do to stop you simply frowning at that computer all day and make something happen,’ he demanded.

‘I need to do some research, I suppose,’ conceded Emma. ‘Trying to decide on the plot is hard enough but I can’t even describe the places I want to go to.’

‘And where do you want to go?’

‘Everywhere,’ Emma said, as if it would be that easy. Her imagination was supposed to be limitless but her experiences weren’t. ‘I’m on my way to New York but I don’t want to stop there. I want to see, I don’t know, the Seven Wonders of the World and then some. But in reality I haven’t been further than Spain.’

Ben grimaced. ‘I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I’m afraid the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World still in existence is the Great Pyramid at Giza.’

‘See! I don’t even know where I
can
go.’

‘May I?’ he asked, turning Emma’s computer towards him.

Emma watched as he tapped a few buttons. There was a look of concern on his face that didn’t fill Emma with confidence.

‘It doesn’t have an Internet connection,’ he complained.

‘Because the bistro doesn’t have WiFi,’ Emma said, making a note to develop that thought later when she was a little less preoccupied.

It was Ben who was wearing the frown now as he returned his attention to Emma’s laptop. Emma watched him work his own magic tapping away at her keyboard. He was too deep in concentration to notice that she was staring at him. ‘Voila!’ he said after a couple of minutes of concentrated effort. He turned the screen back towards Emma to show her that he had miraculously connected to the Internet.

‘How did you do that, or shouldn’t I ask?’

‘I’ve got a wireless connection upstairs. Well, technically, Steven has, but he won’t mind. I’ve logged you onto the network, so you’re in!’

Emma felt a pang of guilt as she was reminded that Ben and Steven had become the new residents of the flat above the bistro whilst her sister was now technically homeless. She briefly toyed with the idea of trying to persuade Ben to squeeze in another lodger who also happened to be his landlady but she reined in her predilection for solving other people’s problems and returned her attention to the problem at hand. ‘Now what?’ she asked.

‘The Traveller’s Rest is aptly named in my case. Here, let me take you on a journey of discovery.’

Ben had logged into a photo-gallery site to access his online photo albums. Emma braced herself to be bored to tears by a collection of holiday snaps of drunken friends with cheesy grins and bottles of beer, posing in front of an assortment of bars or sprawled across nondescript beaches.

‘New York!’ she gasped. Even with her limited experience she recognized the Manhattan skyline.

‘Apparently, the design of the Statue of Liberty was based on the Colossus of Rhodes, which was another one of the Seven Wonders of the World.’

Emma was too engrossed in the photographs she was flicking through to be impressed with the wealth of Ben’s knowledge, which he was determined to share. ‘These are amazing.’

And they were. His collection of photographs marked a journey that had stretched to all four corners of the globe. They were a mixture of panoramic views and colourful close-ups, breathtaking scenery, wildlife in motion and wizened locals, all taken with the kind of precision that needed an artist’s eye to choose the right lighting, the right focus and the right moment. They were photographs that wouldn’t look out of place in
National Geographic
magazine.

‘I was a bit of a photography geek for a while.’

‘You should take it up professionally,’ Emma told him.

Ben shrugged off the suggestion. ‘It came in useful during my travels but it was only ever my second love. My first love is food.’

Emma was starting to warm up at last, so she shrugged off her coat and settled back in her seat as she turned her attention to Ben’s life. ‘But you could really make something of your life,’ she insisted, all thoughts of not interfering long gone.

‘I am making something of my life,’ corrected Ben. He tried to look offended but the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth gave him away. ‘I travelled the world to discover new cuisines. Now don’t laugh, but goat’s cheese and chutneys are my speciality. I’m experimenting for now but my long-term plan is to go into partnership with a farm and sell my own produce.’

‘But …’ began Emma.

‘But we were sorting out your life, not mine,’ he said.

Emma nodded obediently, having the good grace to let Ben keep his own dreams. ‘You’re right. I’ll have a proper look at your photos. Seeing the world through your eyes is better than not seeing it at all and I suppose there’s always Google Earth.’

‘How about a trip to the museum? It’s not exactly travelling the world but it has to be better than relying on a computer for all your inspiration. The World Museum has tons of exhibits that might give you more ideas. You can take a notebook and I’ll take my camera.’ The enthusiasm in Ben’s voice was being exaggerated to make up for the lack of reaction from Emma.

‘I’m not sure,’ Emma replied, not quite knowing why she was unsure or at least not acknowledging that it was more than Ben’s offer attracting her.

‘OK, I won’t push but if you’re at a loose end on Sunday, give me a shout.’

‘Thank you, Ben,’ Emma said, and she felt her heart lighten a little.

‘Any time,’ he said with a wink.

‘Any time except maybe now,’ added Emma. Louise had appeared and was busily looking for her wayward chef. Dutifully, Ben disappeared back into the kitchen and as Louise made her way over to join her sister, Emma felt ready to face a world where she would choose her own wonders at which to marvel.

Chapter 4

Kate Barton had made the transition from forties to fifties with effortless ease. Her blonde hair was clipped back in a tight French bun as always, her makeup immaculate and her dress understated but somehow still making a bold statement. I felt a familiar sense of awe. This was the woman who I had aspired to be and, once upon a time, I had felt I was getting close, but now the gulf seemed unassailable.

‘More champagne?’ she asked.

I looked down at my empty glass; nerves had clearly got the better of me. ‘Maybe I should keep my head clear,’ I told her. I wanted to pinch myself but, with the view I could see out of the window, there was no doubt about where I was. The night was anything but dark as the Manhattan skyline stretched out before me, a myriad lights sparkling in eclectic symmetry. A manmade universe where the stars could be commanded by the flick of a switch.

‘Well, you won’t mind if I indulge, will you?’ she said, nodding to a waiter who immediately picked up a bottle and began to pour. ‘Alex? Can I tempt you?’

‘Like you wouldn’t believe.’ He grinned.

I grimaced.

It had seemed such a good idea to bring Alex along on my life-changing journey. We were a partnership and it had been a long time since I had taken on any kind of new project on my own. When Alex had arrived at Bannister’s, I had wanted to resent him for getting the job I thought I deserved but he had been genuinely surprised when he realized how experienced I was and wanted to involve me as much as he could. I liked the idea that he recognized my abilities even if Mr Bannister had not and, when our unofficial union extended beyond the confines of the office, it became the perfect arrangement. I could continue with the day job as office manager and also be involved in marketing without the pressure or the responsibility. When things went well, and they usually did, I could revel in my boyfriend’s successes as if they were my own.

That had been my starting position as I headed for New York but the flight over had given me some thinking time and the reception from Alsop and Clover had given me a much needed confidence boost. Unlike me, they remembered my successes not my failures and it was clear from the moment the limo picked us up from the airport that they believed in me far more than I believed in myself. As I started to see myself through their eyes, I could look back at my time at Bannister’s with a new perspective. I could stake my claim on Alex’s successes; the best ideas had been mine, he had in many ways simply been the frontman. He had no marketing experience, not even a natural ability for the job. His only qualifications had been his family connections and his winning charm. But as I watched him try to work his magic on Kate, I could see through him as never before and so could Kate. Had it really been my idea to bring him along or had I simply been in his enthral, eager to please?

‘So, Alex, you must be really proud of Emma,’ Kate was saying as she watched him raise his champagne flute towards the waiter, awaiting a refill.

‘I certainly am. It may have only been a small setup at Bannister’s but Emma was a key part of our successes. I know she achieved so much when she worked for you and I just want you to know that she has continued to develop under my wing too,’ he said and then had the temerity to drop his head a little in false modesty.

‘I think I will have that drink,’ I said, catching the waiter’s eye.

‘It must have been a big decision for you to follow Emma over here. I understand you’ve given up your job too.’ Kate was relentless in her efforts to get something out of Alex.

Alex raised his glass to eye-level, taking a moment before answering. He appeared mesmerized as the bubbles rose to the surface and burst into oblivion. ‘We’re a partnership. Wherever she goes I go,’ he said, taking another pause before delivering the killer blow. ‘And vice versa.’

Kate looked at me, there was a glint in her eye. Only those who had seen her at work in the boardroom would know to take cover. ‘How much do you love her?’ she asked.

The question took Alex by surprise, as it did me, not least because I didn’t know how he would answer. We had been together for less than a year and whenever we had discussed any long-term plans it had been separately, not as a couple who intended to spend the rest of their lives together. I’d had my own ideas of moving to London and we had both presumed that it would mark the end of our relationship, a move that would be sad but not heartbreakingly so for either of us. I didn’t think for a moment that his determination to join me on my adventure to the bright lights of New York had anything to do with love.

Alex was let off the hook as Kate continued without pause and without taking her eyes off me. ‘You see, I have great ambitions for Emma. I was sorry to lose her when I did and although her replacement was good, she wasn’t good enough. We are both being given a second chance and she would be a fool to refuse this opportunity. But she knows me well. I expect complete focus and absolute commitment to the job. Emma will be required to travel the world, flitting from one assignment to the next and she can only do that if there is no-one standing in her way. She knows that it takes sacrifice to succeed; she knows it because she is following in my footsteps.’ Kate finally broke eye contact and looked back at Alex. ‘So, if you came here expecting a similar job offer then you are going to be sorely disappointed. And if you think Emma is about to turn her back on her dream job for the second time and for a man who still hasn’t had the strength of feeling to interrupt me and tell me how much he loves her, then you’re the fool, not she.’