Another Man Will (29 page)

C
HAPTER
60

Crystal

I
was a crazy person. How did I let my husband go? He was doing everything he was supposed to do, and all I could do was complain. Yes, we had problems, like everyone else, but I was the one who'd been acting crazy. I was the one who had been looking for any reason to give up and say, “Never mind.”

I had to fix us, but I really didn't know how I was going to. I took a chance and called him. Maybe he would want to talk. Maybe he missed me like I missed him all of these weeks and wanted to talk; at least that was my wish. I called his phone and all I heard was long drawn out rings and then he answered whispering, “What's up?”

“Rell, where are you?”

“I'm at the movies, can I call you back?”

“Okay, but I wanted to talk to you about a few things.”

“Yeah, all right, well, when I get out of here, and don't worry. I'll come and get the rest of my stuff by next week.”

“That's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Can I meet up with you after you leave the movies?”

“Uh, I don't know how long I'm going to be.”

“Could you just call me when you're done? I can meet you.”

“Yeah, I guess. I'll call you.”

Two hours had passed, and Rell hadn't call me back. Most movies are only an hour and half long. My mind started wondering. Who was he with and why hadn't he called me yet? I couldn't wait any longer to speak with him. Although he said he would call me, I dialed him again.

“Yeah Crystal, what's up?”

“Can you meet me, Rell? It's real important.”

“All right, Crystal. I'm down Columbus Boulevard, where are you?”

“I'm not too far away. Can we meet at the Wawa in twenty minutes?”

“Fine.”

I was so nervous, but happy that he agreed to meet. I arrived at the Wawa in fifteen minutes and three minutes later Rell pulled up beside me. I wanted to get out of my car and hug, hold him, and tell him my life has been hell without him. I was waiting for him to get in my car, but he just stood outside the door and put his hands up signaling me to get out and saying what's up at once.

“Hey Rell,” I said as I exited the car nervously.

“You wanted to talk, so talk, Crystal. I have somewhere to go after this.” I didn't like the way he was speaking to me, but I had to put it all on the line.

“Can you get in my car?”

“No, I don't have time for all that. Say what you gotta say.”

I didn't want to pour my heart to him in a busy convenience store parking lot while people were walking past us, but Rell wasn't giving me much of a choice. I was a beggar and I couldn't be choosey. If I wanted him, I had to tell him how I felt. I took a deep breath and began to utter every emotion I felt inside of me.

“Okay, Rell, first I want to tell you I'm sorry. I'm very sorry for everything I said to you.”

“That's what you called me out here for, Crystal? You could have called me on the telephone to say that.”

“No, Rell that's not it; just listen to me. Ever since forever I had people saying things about me, from my family to my friends. They would say Crystal dumb, Crystal always getting pregnant. Crystal got all them kids and none of the fathers with her. And I don't know why, but I started believing some of the things myself. Like, I didn't think I would ever meet anyone that would love me unconditionally. I didn't think love came without a catch and then you came into my life. You didn't care about how many kids or kids' fathers I had, you just loved me and my children and I'm sorry Rell, 'cause I wasn't used to that. I kept telling myself you were too good to be real. I don't know. . . . Maybe I was talking myself out of believing that I deserved happiness. So when things weren't going right, my first thought was to give up, but now I know you can't do that with a marriage. A marriage is about sacrifice. It's about giving a little and taking a little. I didn't understand that then. I see how it is to be without you, and I don't like it. Can you please come home, Rell? Please, baby, I need you. I really need you, the kids need you. We miss you, and I never want to live without you.” I felt tears gushing down my face and my heart opening up. “Baby, I need you—please come home. Rell, don't leave me. Please come home?”

He pulled me into him. “Stop crying, Crystal. I don't like to see you cry. I'm sorry, too. Boo, I probably shouldn't have left the way I did, but it just didn't feel good with us arguing all the time. You know I love you and you know I love the kids.”

I felt all this stress leave my body. I leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around my body tighter. He held me up against his chest, and his phone began ringing. I guessed it was whoever he was supposed to meet, he probably was about to leave and tell me he needed some time to think. I wanted an answer now, but at least we were on speaking terms again. I would just call him tomorrow. He picked up his phone and said, “Yeah, no I'm not going. I'll catch up with you another time. I have to go home with my wife.”

C
HAPTER
61

Dana

Y
ou can break up with your boyfriend tomorrow,
and
you'll be so upset that you never got to see what we can be.
Marcus's voice was in my head, and I was debating whether or not I should give into temptation. Even though I told Marcus to leave me alone, he wouldn't. He called and texted more and if I didn't like him I would think he was crazy. But I did like him, he did intrigue me, and I loved his persistence and attention and was finding it hard to say no.

He had a fancy hotel room reserved for us and wanted me to spend the night with him just once. There were so many thoughts spinning in my head—should I? Shouldn't I? I wanted to but I couldn't. I needed to make the right decision. Adam was only my boyfriend, not my husband. I didn't know if we were going to last forever. What if I really was passing up my soul mate? Then again, Marcus was my nephew's mentor, and he could just be saying anything to capture the final prize he wanted from me. He said he wanted to meet me on neutral territory, so we could see once and for all if we were meant to be. I wasn't going to go and I was going to call him and let him know.

“Are you ready, Dana?”

“I'm not sure I'm coming, that's why I'm calling you.”

“Don't flake on me now, Dana. All I'm asking for is one night. Just one. If you don't like it, I'll leave you alone and you are free to go and marry what's his name. But if we have the chemistry that I know we do, then you have to give us a fair shot. Deal?”

“No deal.” I wasn't agreeing to anything with him. “No, one night of sex is not going to determine whether or not we are destined to be together.”

“You are right. It is only the final piece to the puzzle. We already know we are mentally and spiritually compatible. The only thing that is left is the physical. I know you are just as curious as I am, and I know you want me, too. I'll see you at eight at the airport A Loft hotel.”

“Okay, I'll see you then.” Why did I agree to meet him? I was so confused. I was so in love with Adam, but when I spent more time with Marcus, something changed. I wanted him badly. I wanted to know how our bodies would feel intertwined as one.

 

 

I met Marcus at the hotel. He was happy I'd come and showed his appreciation by giving me a tender hug and asked me if I wanted anything to drink.

“No, I'm fine.” I sat on the chaise chair in the corner of the room. I felt very awkward, like we were in a movie and the director screamed action and we were supposed to start the scene. Marcus didn't wait for any cues. He pushed me on to the bed, and suddenly his tongue attacked me. Like a snake, it sprang into my mouth and began whipping around wildly. “Oh my God,” I kept repeating while his face made its way to my pelvis, licking, torturing, punishing it with numbing licks. We both undressed and we both were ready. I slid up against him. Our skin was smooth, wet. I felt his every vein and his plumpness. At any given moment it was bound to slide in. Everything felt like it was meant to be. Like I was right where I belonged. I didn't know how I was going to tell Adam I loved him. I was breathing heavily.

“Where is the condom?” I panted in Marcus' ear.

He jumped up, grabbed his pants, and searched his pockets. My eyes were on his clothes. I was ready for him. I couldn't wait. And he was fumbling around. I was all set and now he was taking forever.

“What's wrong? Why are you putting on your clothes?” I groaned.

“I have to go to my car.”

“For what?”

“I left the condoms there.”

“The vice principal, a responsible man, left the condoms?” I snickered and sighed and fell back on the bed, wrapping the sheets around my body.

“I'll be right back.”

“I'll be waiting.”

Ten minutes passed. He was taking so long. I reached for my phone and saw a message from Adam I just wanted to let you know I love you, and don't make any plans next week.

My heart sank. Oh my God, Adam was going to propose next week and here I was, about to throw it all away for Marcus Walker. I read the message again. I had to get out of here. I had a great man that didn't deserve this. I had waited for someone like him, and I wasn't going to lose him.

Everything happened for a reason, and Marcus not having his condoms was a sign for me to get out of there. I wasn't supposed to be with him. But then other thoughts raced through my head. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I had to make up my mind whether to stay or to leave. After a few moments I decided to leave. I dressed swiftly. I didn't want to be here when Marcus returned. Once on the other side of the hotel door, I questioned myself again. Did I make the right choice?

Before I reached my car, Marcus was calling me nonstop. Finally I answered.

“Where are you?”

“I left. I'm sorry. I'm confused, and none of this feels right, Marcus.”

“You really are settling for safe.”

I had to belt out, “And you are so dangerous, Mr. Walker?”

“No, I'm not dangerous, but I'm a risk. You are scared of the unknown.”

“No, but you're asking me to give up someone who loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me for . . . I don't know what.”

“If you marry him, I'm going to show up, run down the aisle, and yell ‘Stop' at your wedding.”

“What! You won't know when and where it is.” I laughed at the thought.

“I'll ask Brandon. Come on, Dana. Come back to the room.”

“No, seriously, I'm really ending us this time. Good-bye, Marcus.”

I left the hotel and when straight to Adam's place. He opened the door and asked me what was I doing there. At first I couldn't look him in the eye. I had a seat at his kitchen table.

“What's up Dana?”

“We need to talk, I have a few things I need to share with you.”

Something in me felt like I had to be honest with Adam and tell him the truth about what had happened. Actually, I didn't have to. I probably shouldn't, but I didn't want to start the next chapter with Adam based on deception and lies.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know Brandon's mentor, Mr. Walker?”

“Yeah. What about him?”

“Well, I've kind of been seeing him.”

“Okay, this is crazy. What the hell are you talking about? Kind of been seeing him?” he said as he stood up covering his face with his palm. “Did you sleep with him?”

“No, not exactly.”

“Then why tell me, Dana?”

“I don't know. I just feel like I should be honest with you. Because when you ask me to marry you, I don't want there to be any secrets.”

“Dana, I didn't ask you to marry me. How do you even know? I need to have a seat.”

“Leah told me that you bought me the ring already.”

“Well, I was going to ask you to marry me. But right now, I'm not sure if that's a great idea. You didn't sleep with him, but do you love him?”

“No, I don't love him. I'm not sure why I even considered it.”

“Dana, this is not making any sense.”

I had a seat next to Adam. I didn't want to cry, I had to tell him the truth. I took a deep breath. “Adam, listen, you have to understand—before I met you, my dream was to meet and marry a strong, educated, successful man, and I always just assumed he would also be black.” I stood up and walked away from him. I took another deep breath. “Adam you're strong, educated, successful, but you're not black. So when I met him, I was like why would God bless me with you, everything I ever wanted and then send him, too?”

“I still don't get it, Dana. I'm there for you. I treat you with respect. We have never had an argument, and you know I'm madly in love with you.”

“I know, Adam, I know, but he represented what I thought I wanted and had to have—a good black man. But now I'm certain all I need is you, a good man.”

“I don't know what you want me to say to all this. So after everything we've been through, it really comes down to black and white.”

“No, you know what I realized tonight? That I love you, Adam and when I'm with you I don't see color anymore. I just see you. I love you for who you are, and I want to be with you because I can't see myself without you. I want to see you when I go to close my eyes every night and awake in the morning.”

“Do you mean that?”

“I do.”