Another Man Will (22 page)

C
HAPTER
38

Crystal

“T
his truck takes eighty dollars to fill up, Rell?” I said as I grimaced at the number nine pump.

“Yeah, like eighty to eighty-five. Just fill it up and add it to whatever I already owe you. How much do I owe you now?”

“Rell, I don't know. I'm not keeping track.”

That was a lie. I wanted to be a good wife, but I was starting to resent having to pay for everything for us. I got out of the car and paid for the gas, and Rell pumped the eighty dollars into the tank. We were coming back from an evening that was supposed to be some old-fashioned alone time. My mom was watching the kids, and I thought this was what we needed, because lately Rell had been aggravating me. We'd needed a second car, but now it didn't seem like that was the smartest thing for us to have done. Now I was thinking, Why did I take on an extra car note and insurance when my car was fine? Rell needed a car, not me.

When we first met, I saw all this energy and drive with Rell, but now that I was married to him, I thought I had probably made a mistake. I didn't want to tell anyone, and even during Thanksgiving I was pretending to be so happy. Paying for everything was getting real old fast. If he was working, it would make my life a lot easier. And please let's not talk about Shareef 's stupid-ass job. They are not calling Rell. He's been waiting for how many damn months? He could have found nine other jobs instead of counting on that stupid position to come through. I kept saying to Rell, “Look for another job, we have bills.” But his answer to me was to be a little more patient. Patience is bullshit. Patience will have my lights off. The way these bills were stacking up, I might have to ask for some extra hours. I got back in the car, and Rell was just staring straight ahead, appearing to be troubled.

“Listen, Crystal, babe, if this job don't call me by next week, I was thinking about reenlisting.” Was he reading my mind? Did he hear all the shit I was talking about him in my head?

“What? Rell, what am I going to do if you are not here?”

“I don't know, but we won't be struggling. I would go back over there and make a lot of money. I blew the other money, but this time I'll send it all to you. I know dudes that paid off their kids' college tuition and almost their house by keeping going back. It is not that bad. It will be only for a year.”

“Rell, if you reenlisted, I would not be happy at all. I don't think I can do it.”

“I don't know, Crystal. I just might have to. If this job doesn't call me back, that's what I'm going to do.”

“Why don't you start looking somewhere else and say, ‘Forget that job'? Put some other applications in other places. There are other places to work.”

“Yeah, but they don't pay any money.”

I wished I had someone to talk to. This was when I wished I had some good girlfriends. I couldn't mention this to my mom or my sisters. There was no way I would be home writing letters, waiting, watching the news, hanging yellow ribbons, walking around praying that he was okay. While he was in another country, fighting a war, I would be here fighting alone. What if he got caught in friendly fire or one of the terrorists threw a bomb out of a moving car at him? Oh, I praised all the people that fought for us, and their family members, but I didn't want to be one of them.

That evening in bed I turned my back to Rell. I was not in the mood to have any physical contact with him. I didn't want to speak or even know him right then.

“Don't do that to me, Crystal. I want you. Boo love, what's wrong?”

“Rell, you can't even think about leaving me and going back in the service. What if something happens to you? And I need you here.”

“But we need money, and nothing is going to happen to me. Earlier today I didn't feel like a man when you had to put gas in the car. That's my responsibility. I'm a man, and I have to do whatever I have to do.”

“Then get two jobs here. Wouldn't that be easier, Rell, than going to another country at war?” Rell made me so angry and was becoming an idiot. I couldn't take any more. I took my blanket and went to sleep in the kids' room.

C
HAPTER
39

Yvette

I
was very upset about my things being auctioned off, but they were gone. What made me feel better was that my mom had copies of a lot of the pictures I'd lost and I realized that everything that was in storage could be replaced. I could buy myself and Brandon and Mercedes more clothes, bikes, televisions, and furniture. It was just stuff. I had to think of it like that; otherwise I would go mad. Dana writing me a check to cover my bills gave me a sense of peace.

Brandon had been fine. Mercedes was still adjusting to her school. She had made a few friends and was beginning to like it. I'd been applying to jobs every day and praying someone called me. I was happy Doug had said he was still taking the kids for Christmas. I hoped I was working then so that we could have a good holiday and I could have something for them when they came back from Florida. I made a bunch of follow-up calls to make sure the people that had my résumé knew I was still looking, and it worked, because when I came home there was a message for me.

“Hi. This is Tina from Service Air. You sent in your résumé. I know you were looking for more of a clerical position, but I know we spoke and you said that if I had any openings to give you a call. So I do have an opening. It is only a seasonal position, but you would start immediately. Please give me a call if you're interested. Thank you, and have a great day.”

I called her back, and she said the position was a driver's helper, and if I was interested, I could start on Monday. It was only from December to March, but I didn't care. I would have a check.

 

 

On my first day as a driver's helper, I was introduced to the driver I was assisting. His name was Kirk. He was short and stocky and wasn't that friendly. I didn't really like the uniform. It was straight up and down brown work pants, and not flattering at all. However, I tried to make myself look cute by doing my hair and makeup.

A typical day at Service Air began at 7:30 a.m. We came in, and first, we did our stretch and flex to make sure our bodies and muscles were ready for the day. And then we scanned and loaded. Most of the men that had women helpers loaded and the women scanned, but not Kirk. He believed in equal rights. He had me breaking my back loading, while his lazy self scanned.

Once we were in the truck, we had about forty packages that had to be delivered on time between 9:00 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. In order to be timely, I would jump off the truck, knock twice, and if the customer didn't answer right away, they got a yellow slip. Some of the people on our route complained, but they needed to answer their doors quicker if their packages were that important to them.

C
HAPTER
40

Crystal

R
ell got the J-O-B! He was finally an employee of Seisman's Bread. I was shocked but so happy. I thought they weren't ever going to call him at that damn job and that he was waiting in vain. But I'm glad I was so wrong. It was his first day and he was so excited when he left out for work. He called me on his break and I quizzed him about his day.

“How is it so far?”

“Babe, it's good. From what they showed me it's not hard at all. And Reef said I can get overtime when I'm done training. And you know that is time and a half. He said I could jump on as many shifts as I want to. So you know I'm going to tear that OT up. And don't worry, baby, my first check, I'm going to give it all to you. I don't know how much it is going to be, but pay the bills and keep whatever is left. I want you to get you and the kids something. Jewel was telling me she wants this Barbie doll. It's quiet—where are they at anyway? Is Shareef still there?”

“They are all downstairs playing. I'm going to call Angel in a little bit to come and get him. He's fine, I'm just happy for you.”

“Babe, I'm so happy this came through for us. I love you. I have to get back to work.”

“Okay, babe. I love you too. Congratulations.”

I went downstairs, and I caught Little Shareef pulling on my daughter's hair.

“Shareef, you can't pull her hair!”

“She hit me.”

“Even if she hit you, you can't pull her hair. You have to come and tell me, because you are way bigger than her and can hurt her, okay?”

I had three children, and most of the time when I'm not working, I was home, but that didn't mean I wanted to watch Little Shareef. Like what the hell? Where did they get off just leaving him with me every weekend. I told Rell it was okay, but really I don't want his bad ass over here anymore.

“Okay, Shareef and Nasir, clean this room. And get all y'all's stuff, Shareef. I'm taking you home.” I called Angel to let her know I was about to bring Little Shareef home.

“We not there yet. As soon as we get back around there, I'll call you,” she said.

“Okay.” I wasn't going to get a break, but at least my baby had a job. I walked in the kitchen and started dinner. I pulled out some chicken wings. I was going to fry them and make some yellow Goya rice and cabbage.

“Mom, somebody at the door!” Nasir screamed out. I hoped it was Angel coming early. I peeped out the blinds and saw Kenneth. I wasn't sure what he wanted. He didn't appear to be angry, but I still wasn't sure if I should call the cops or run. I backed away from the blinds and I heard him yell “I just wanted to talk to you.” What could he possibly want to talk about now. I opened the door slightly to find out.

“Hey, what do you need?”

“I just want to talk to you for a moment. Can I talk to you right quick?”

I came out the door, and Kenneth began speaking. “Look, I can tell you're happy now, and I just want to be there for my daughter, nothing else. I didn't want to do all that stuff to you. Syreeta just was all in my ear, telling me this and that, but I shouldn't have put you through it, and I don't want to go through this anymore.”

“Well, that's in the past and I'm sure we can work out something so you can get her sometime. Just call my phone—the number is the same.”

“Okay, I probably call you the weekend. But do you think I can see her for a few minutes now?”

“Yeah, let me get her dressed and I'll bring her out to you.”

I carried Kori to his car. Before I could tap on the window, he was already out attacking me and Kori with a tight hug. He squeezed us so hard Kori started crying.

“Kenneth what are you doing? Get off of me.”

“I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, and I wish things might have turned out differently, Crystal. I shouldn't have done what I did and I fucked up. You're my woman—this is my daughter and those are my kids.” I kept trying to get away from him, but he wouldn't let me go.

“You know I was going to marry you, right? I just never got the chance.”

“Oh, you were? Before or after the paternity test? Get off of me, Kenneth.” Just as he released me, Shareef and Angel pulled up. I spoke to them both, and Angel got out to collect her child.

“Shareef ready?” she asked, looking over at Kenneth.

“Yup,” I said.

“Now, you know we will take yours next weekend. We can have, like, a babysitting club,” Angel replied.

“Okay. Sounds like a plan. Let me get Shareef.”

I fetched Little Shareef, they climbed in the car, hit the horn twice, and pulled off. I was still standing with Kenneth. I asked him to leave and that he could have Kori the weekend.

Dinner was ready, and the kids were asleep. I couldn't wait for Rell to come in and tell me more about his first day at work. While I waited for him, I put some makeup on and added a few curls to my hair. I wanted him to always come home to a put-together wife.

My mom used to always put her perfume and her makeup on and be waiting by the door for my dad. We would all run up to him and hug him when he came in. I wanted to do the same for my husband. I heard Rell come through the door. I rushed downstairs to greet him.

“Baby, dinner is ready. You want to get in the shower while I warm up your food?”

“I'm actually going to take a long bath. My back hurts a little.”

Rell spent an hour in the tub. I opened the bathroom door and sat on the side of the tub. I took the hot washcloth and wiped it along his back and neck, letting the warm water drip.

“Your body hurt, babe? So how was your first day?”

“I don't really feel like talking right now. Excuse me,” he said as he reached for a towel.

“What's wrong?” I said when I met him in the bedroom, bewildered about why was he acting like he was mad about something.

“Crystal, I could have sworn I just told you not to have that dude up in this house. Why was he here again?” he asked, very jealous.

“What are you talking about, Kenneth? He wasn't in this house. He showed up at the door and asked for Kori. And I brought her out to him.”

“So why was y'all hugging, and why did you jump when you saw Shareef 's car?”

I didn't see what the big deal was, but now I guessed it did look suspicious. “That's not what happened. He was just trying to see Kori, and he said sorry to me.”

“I don't understand why he has to keep coming here. Doesn't he have his own place?”

“Yes . . . Well, he lives with his sister. but I don't see what the big deal is.”

“The big deal is we have to set limits for this dude and all your baby fathers. You think each time one of your baby fathers decides to come around, they can just pop up? Jewel's dad be home in a few years. Or what about when Nasir's dad starts playing his part? They all can just walk in and out of this house freely?”

“No, they can't, and I can't believe you are going there. I just don't really trust Kenneth with her for long periods of time.”

“Well, maybe you should have thought about that, before you had a baby with him. Forget it. I just don't want to see him around here anymore. You figure out how you are going to handle it. Just don't bring it my way.”