ANOTHER KIND OF DIAMOND (54 page)

What happened next? Did he drop on you?

Not just yet. He didn’t fall immediately. He kind of froze and still held on in the same position he was before I shot him. Then, for one brief moment, he looked me right in the eyes, his mouth seemed to move a little bit like he was gonna say something and I myself froze. I was thinking maybe I didn’t shot him right and he wasn’t gonna die but will turn around and kill me so my palms dropped right to my face and blocked off my two eyes while I waited for my death, but in an instant, his weight came crashing down on my body. It felt real heavy and I thought, yeah, I got him and took my hands off my eyes, looked at him and he was quit now. I couldn’t see a drop of blood coming out anywhere just then, so I quickly wriggled out of his heavy junk, took my gun and went back to my room. The first thing I did was go look me up in the mirror and I didn’t see a single trace of blood on me anywhere either, so I kind of took a shower anyways, hid the gun in my school bag ‘cause I know that’s where nobody would be looking. Soon after, I went right back to sleep and surprisingly slept real good!

Then suddenly the whole house came alive with the police everywhere. I know nobody was ever gonna suspect I did a thing so I played it cool. I was all in tears when the police came into my room to question me and I told them how much I loved my dad and would want them get whosoever did this to him. They were real nice to me just like everyone else, you know, the way people would manage a kid that just lost her dad. The Police wanted to know if I heard or saw anything last night and I lied about it. I said I was asleep and heard nothing and was crying all the time. They didn’t even ask me a whole lot of questions and I thought that was helpful. At some point I overheard them telling my mom that they found a note and one single earing on a couch in the living room. With these we gonna find who did this to your husband. And my mom said something that completely threw me off balance. “He was my daughter’s step father,” she began, “but nobody would ever know unless you told them because he treated her just like his real daughter.” Once I heard that I wasn’t even listening to the rest of what she was saying any more. May be my mom lost her cool or didn’t care about what effect that will have on me, but I heard Norman wasn’t my real dad from my mother for the very first time after I killed him. But then somehow I was quick to grasp the good in what my mom just said, ‘cause my real dad was not the animal called Norman and it wasn’t my real dad I killed. Still I failed to understand why my mom had not talked to me about it in all the years but chose to open up so carelessly in the presence of everybody like it didn’t matter.

Anyways the whole thing came and passed. Later on, we heard the Police knew who did it but are still searching for the person. The girl’s named was all over the places and I still remember what they called her. Lulu, Lulu Dominguez or something! I was happy someone was gonna pay for what I did and for me, that meant I’m gonna be free forever. But latter I started seeing this peculiar girl in my dreams. She will always come to me in a prison dress and wanna talk to me like asking for favor or something. I’ll walk away and then she will follow me around for a while until she disappears.

You were not scared by that?

No! Not at all! After I did what I did to Norman nothing scares me anymore. Anyways I continued to live with my mother but we never ever got along in any way imaginable and as times went on things got `even worse. I was going through a whole lot and she didn’t seem to care and I didn’t like being around her either. And when about one year after Norman died my mother brought another man home I decided I was gonna leave. It took me another one year to finally make up my mind and I left. It was on a summer afternoon that I ran away from home with my schoolbag well secured at my back. In that bag was the gun, some few cloths and some money left out of what Norman used to give me.

Your mom tried so hard to find you, do you know that? Gary said.

I didn’t know and I couldn’t care less.

And where did you go when you left home?

With the help of some kids I met on the street initially, I stayed away from the Police. Those kids were really helpful at the early stages of my flight. They showed me where to hide and how to go about stuff. One day, one of the girls showed me one of the alleys I could hide forever and nobody would find me and I made it a kind of home.

I was walking along the safe alley to go get me something to eat when I saw this cute kind of guy heading my direction and staring at me like he recognized me or something and that kind of bothered me. I wanted to turn back and head the opposite direction but changed my mind ‘cause I thought that kind of move would grab attention fast and make it look like I was hiding something, understand? So I continued on my way.

When he got to me, we almost passed each other before he came back and stood right in my face. Hey pretty girl, I think I like your style! He said. My name is Carlos. What is yours?

I was gonna lie to him about it but changed my mind again and told him my real name. Nicole, I said.

And where are you heading in a lonely alley like this? He continued.

I’m hungry and need something to eat I told him.

You need some food? He was smiling as he asked.

Yeah! My stomach is hurting real bad!

The come with me to my house. We live just round the corner. I have lots of food at home so you can save your money and come fist with me.

I kinda dilly-dallied but he prevailed on me. The truth though is that I didn’t have where to go, so I took my chance and followed him. When we got to the apartment, it wasn’t nicely kept at all and without much of furnishing but that didn’t matter at all because this to me was heaven considering what I was running from and the fact that I’ve been sleeping in all sorts of odd places.

First he took me to his room and then into the kitchen. On our way to the kitchen, I saw a woman soundly asleep on a dirty carpet and I tried to go back to his room but he is like; Come-on! Let’s go. Don’t bother about her, okay? That used to be my mom but she wouldn’t even notice you are here now! As a matter of fact, you can leave here for as long as you want and she will never know. Right now she is stoned to the teeth and gonna remain like that for hours ‘cause that’s how she lives.

You don’t do it yourself, right? I asked.

What?

Drugs!

I’m not saying I don’t but I’m never like my mother ‘cause I still walk around with my senses intact. What about you? Do you do it? He asked?

I haven’t started, I responded.

Really! I’m gonna show you how but how to do it in a nice way so it doesn’t hurt you.

Ok! We can do that letter but right now I want something to eat. I responded.

Now in the kitchen area, he opened a number of cabins with a variety of foods plus what he had in the fridge too. Get whatever you wanna eat and prepare it how you like your meals, he said and left.

I didn’t want to start making a whole meal ‘cause no matter what he said I was still scared of his mom, so I just grabbed four cup noodles, put them up in the microwave and we ate together before we retired into his room. We stayed in there for most of the day charting and trying to get to know each other better? Towards evening I made like I was gonna leave ‘cause I already knew he wasn’t gonna let me go. Not that he was gonna force me to stay or anything like that but my understanding was he would try talking me into staying longer.

Must you leave today? He asked me just like I thought. And I’m like yeah! Mom is gonna get mad if I don’t go home.

Oh that! I thought you can take care of business yourself, he continued.

I can if I want!

So you don’t want this time, ha? He continued.

Not really!

Are you gonna stay the night with me then?

I don’t know! I responded and he continued to persuade me until I decided to come clear. I could sense he is the kind of guy who is kinda shady so I felt I could say anything to him. Can I trust you to keep a secret? I said just for the asking.

Why not? He cut in fast. I’ve got loads of secrets of my own so we’ll be helping each other in that.

I don’t have to go at all ‘cause I ran away from home! I finally admitted.

For real! He exclaimed exuberantly.

Yeah! I said and told him the story pretty much like I’m doing with you guys but skipped some of the details I didn’t want him to know. At the end he was like; how many times did you shoot the mother fucker? And I responded, twice!

You should have shot him twenty times ‘cause that’s exactly what he deserved, he said to me. And I tell you what; nothing was more reassuring to me as that when he said it. Anyways, that was how we started leaving together. At a point I noticed that all sorts of wired guys and babes in all kinds of punkish styles will be coming to the house and leaving whenever they wanted like they helped with the bills or something. Some will come and stay for weeks and all of them will be getting high together and playing hard Rock music so loud. And we started arguing a lot about that until this day that he chose to come clear about it all. And he told me he was into gang membership. I didn’t even mind as long as he told me the truth! I actually thought it was cool!

Anyways, after we lived together for a while, he said there was something he’s been trying to talk to me about. And he went, “baby I can help you disappear from your mom forever”!

How are you gonna do that? I asked him.

And he got a little excited about it and said; those friends of mine that come here can fix anything! I’ve been talking to some of them a whole lot about your stuff and they are like it’s so easy to fix! All it requires is a brand new ID. We gonna find it, we gonna fix you and make Nicole Fishbump disappear forever. You know, we don’t like messing with the Police babe and I’m always scared someone might sport you, understand? And if the Police check you out that will put me in a whole lot of shit! So me and my guys kind of figured how to take care of that!

I thought about it for a while. At first I didn’t see what they can do to change anything but I was open to anything that will give me back some freedom. At list with new IDs my mom will never find me and nobody will know I even exist as long as I don’t show up where familiar eyes probe, so I said to him, let’s do it!

One night, he woke me up and started talking in low tone. Baby, we found the bitch to take the burden off your cutie shoulders!

And I’m like how is it gonna play out.

So he kind of gave me a rundown of the whole thing. He said that with the help of fellow gangsters in California, they found some new immigrant girl that came into the US through that border and brought her to Dallas in a way no one will ever find her and that they gonna take care of her. I didn’t understand the whole plan initially but he took his time to explain it to me. Anyways I thought it was a good idea mainly because I always wanted to go to California and was already making my own plans but I didn’t tell him that.

Three months later, On an evening, Carlos was acting stoned as he gave me a lady’s bag and said to me baby, put every single Id you got in here. And your social security card too. And I did as I was told. Now get the same dress and shoes you had on the day you left home and put those in the bag too. After that he said, get prepared, ‘cause we gonna go do some real bad stuff.

Latter, two guys came in a car, I and Carlos got in with them and drove to a creek area far away from houses before they stopped and took this girl out from the trunk and she looked dead to me but I could see some similarities between the two of us. She was just about the same age, same height, had same hair and skin color and all that but I kept it all to myself. And then they took my dress and shoes out of my bag and put them on her. There was a ring I used to wear in my hands all the time; it was the only priced gift I ever got from my mother. I think is a family tree sort of thing ‘cause she told me her mother gave it to her. Anyways, she gave it to me supposedly to pacify me after the death of Norman. That ring was swapped between our fingers. After they did all they did to the girl, her body was dumped in the creek, then my hand bag with all my IDs in it placed by her side before we drove home.

Are we talking another murder here? Gary asked.

I don’t really wanna say anymore on that!

We need to talk about it Miss Diamond!

I said I don’t wanna talk about it, period, she yelled. And sensing this impasse could mare the whole event Officer Bruce signaled to Gary to steer away, he listened and quickly switched focus. Okay! That’s fine if you don’t wanna talk about it Miss Diamond, Garry said in a calm disposition. Continue with what you are saying whenever you are ready. Another pause and she started again.

As I was saying, the same day this other girl died, an old dude came and took me to his house and I was gonna live with him pending the time Carlos got me brand new IDs. I was in this guy’s house for like six months before the IDs came in the name of Isabel Diamond which was the name of the girl dumped in a creek. With my new IDs, I went back home with Carlos.

May I ask you another question; Gary tried to solicit further cooperation.

Okay! She responded.

This Carlos of a guy, do think you can identify him today if you see him?

I don’t know! And she was emphatic.