Annihilate Me: Holiday Edition (8 page)

“I
think you handled Daniella beautifully.”

“And
now she hates me for it.
 
I can’t
win.
 
I probably shouldn’t have
given her a public dressing down, but what choice did I have?
 
We were about to leave.
 
I couldn’t bear what she was saying.
 
I snapped.”

“I
would have done the same thing.”

“The
truth is that she can be a sweet girl.
 
Same with Alexa.
 
I hope you
get to see that over these next few days.”

“Maybe
all of us will.
 
Maybe you just laid
down the law.”

She
sat down on the bed, and I sat down beside her.
 
It was rare for Blackwell to show me a
trace of emotion, and certainly not defeat, but she did now.
 
I could feel the weight of the situation
pressing down on her.
 
I could tell
that she was second-guessing herself for agreeing to come at all.

“I
think you handled it well, especially after what she said to Tank and to
Lisa.
 
She was rude.
 
She deserved what she got.”

“What
she said to them is what put me over the edge.
 
Lisa and Tank don’t deserve that kind of
treatment.
 
Nobody does if they’ve
done nothing to provoke it.
 
If they
have?
 
Fine.
 
Gloves off.
 
But Daniella was just being a
bitch.
 
Pure and simple.
 
And I don’t buy for a minute that her
behavior has anything to do with Charles and me.
 
Each of those girls came to me years ago
and asked for me to end my marriage with him because they were tired of the
arguments.
 
Now, she’s just trying
to get something out of the situation, which I refuse to accept because it’s
disingenuous.
 
When we’re in Maine,
I plan to take Lisa and Tank aside, and to apologize to them myself.”

I
kissed her on the cheek.
 
“Let’s go
back in the cabin, play some old-fashioned Christmas music, and lighten the
mood with a glass of champagne.
 
What do you think?”

“Maybe,”
she said.
 
“Maybe it’ll lighten them
up.”

“So,
let’s see if it does.”

“I’m
leery.
 
We’ll what the hell?
 
Just one glass for each of them.”

*
 
*
 
*

And
it went fine.
 

For
the next hour or so, all of us listened to music, we sipped champagne, Daniella
and Alexa sang along with some of the songs they knew, and when they did, I
looked across at Blackwell, who was seated across the aisle from Alex and me
looking troubled and exhausted.
 
I’d
never seen her quite like this, with the few exceptions of when I was under
attack at Wenn.
 
At one point, when
everything seemed as if it was going well, she turned and lifted her glass to
me.
 

It
was at that moment that I blew her a kiss.

Later,
when we were about to land, Alex reached for my hand and held it in his
lap.
 
In my ear, he said, “You’re a
miracle.”

“No,
I’m not,” I said quietly.
 
“I was
just raised in a family that had more issues than Barbara’s family has.
 
I wish that my parents had divorced.
 
They didn’t, so I learned how to cope
with everything that was slung my way.
 
All I did was have a chat with her.
 
I wanted her to know that I am here for her, and that she can always
talk to me.”

“Sometimes,
for a friend, that’s the best thing one can do,” he said.
 
“That, and listen.
 
Especially listen.”

“I
love you,” I said.

“And
I’ll say it again.
 
You’re the love
of my life.
 
I can’t wait to tell everyone
that we’ve set a date.
 
And that I
want Tank to be my best man.
 
And
that you want Lisa to be your maid of honor.
 
That’s our Christmas present to us.
 
Can you think of a better one?
 
To share that with friends?”

“I
can’t.”

“Have
you noticed Lisa and Tank?”

“I
haven’t.
 
I’ve been too distracted.
 
What’s going on?”

“Look
at their hands.”

I
did, and I felt a spark of hope.
 
“They’re holding hands.”

“They
have been since we got on the plane.”

“I
want so much for them.
 
I want them
to have what we have.”

“I
guess time will tell,” he said.
 
“But for now?
 
Things look
good.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

When
we arrived at Alex’s house on the Point, the snow was banked against the
building, but a path had been cleared for us to use the entrance Alex used,
which was at the back of the house facing the ocean.
 
I noticed smoke wafting from each of the
five chimneys, I saw a wreath hanging on the door, and I knew that whomever
Alex had called to prepare the house had recently cleaned it, stocked the
fridge, changed the linens, and likely much more.
 

“We
are so lucky,” I said when I stepped out of the SUV.

“We
are, aren’t we?” Alex agreed.

“Beyond
lucky.
 
Look at this.
 
Look how white the snow is.
 
And smell the burning wood from the
fireplaces.
 
I love it here.”

“You
don’t get this in Manhattan.”

“Oh,
and look at the ocean.
 
With the
leaves off the trees, you can see even more of it from here.
 
It’s so different from the last time we
were here.
 
It’s darker, more
ominous.
 
Over there is Bar
Harbor.
 
And there’s Cadillac
Mountain.”

“Beautiful.”

I
leaned into him, and spoke so only he could hear.
 
“And there’s the beach you took me
on.
 
Do you remember?”

“As
if I’d forget.”

“I’m
assuming that won’t be happening on this trip.”

“I
told you that I can bear the shrinkage,” he said.
 
“Even in Iceland, which was one of your
challenges, if I remember correctly.”

I
looked at him as everyone got out of the SUVs, and said, “I remember, but
there’s no longer any need for you to prove it to me.
 
It’s about twenty degrees right now, and
it’s only noon.
 
There will be zero
sex on the beach.
 
If we attempted
that, it would be more like flu symptoms began on the beach.”

“I
still could do it.”

“Well,
I couldn’t, Iron Man.
 
That said,
I’ll happily be waiting for you in bed tonight.
 
You know—with a fire roasting just
at the foot of the bed.”

“I’ll
warn you now.
 
With that fire,
you’re going to get all sweaty.”

“Which
is why we have our own bathroom, complete with tub and shower.”

“Maybe
I’ll also take you there.”

“This
isn’t Club Med.
 
It’s Club
Christmas.”

“Just
try to keep my hands off you.”

I
wrapped my arm around the low of his waist, and pulled him toward me while
everyone looked at the house, at the snow, at the ocean, and smelled the clean
air with satisfied sighs.

“Lisa
is the only one who wore sensible shoes,” I said.
 
“At least when it comes to the
women.
 
Tank is wearing boots.
 
What are you wearing?
 
I haven’t even looked.”

“Same
boots as Tank.
 
He bought them for
me.”

“He’s
a good friend.
 
Those boots are
construction grade.
 
And they’re
kind of a turn on.
 
Maybe we’ll take
it to the beach after all.”

“Don’t
make any promises you can’t keep.”

“Or
maybe you can wear them later tonight.
 
You know—in the bedroom.”

“I
can play that part.”
 
He lifted his
chin.
 
“Look at Blackwell.”

“Poor
thing.
 
It’s as if she’s on the
moon.
 
I better help her and the
girls walk safely.
 
None of them is
dressed for this.”

I
walked toward them.
 
“Ladies,” I
said.
 
“This way.
 
Watch your step.
 
Go on the path.
 
A large swath has been cleared for us,
and by the looks of it, it’s been salted, so you’ll be fine.”

“What
kind of hell is this?” Blackwell said as she picked her way toward the
house.
 
“Look at it—it’s unfit
for human life.
 
Certainly they’ll
uncover bodies in the spring.”

“The
salt is going to ruin my shoes,” Daniella said.

“Think
of it as an adventure,” I said.

“An
adventure that will ruin my Blahniks?”

“Maybe
Santa will bring you new shoes.”

“Sorry.
 
Right.
 
I’m supposed to be polite or I’m back on
the plane.”

It
was at that point that I decided to put my arm on her shoulder.
 
“Daniella, we don’t know each other from
hell, but I do want to get to know you.
 
Your mother has told me wonderful things about you, especially about how
hard you’re working at school.”

She
screwed up her face at me.
 
“She
has?”

“She
has.
 
One year left, right?
 
I thought so.
 
I only got out last May with my
MBA.
 
We’re close in age, and I have
to say that Lisa and I were really happy that you and Alexa were coming for
that reason.
 
Finally, girls of our
own age that we can talk to.”

“You
seem so much older than us.
 
You
even look older than us.”

I
took that one for the team.
 
“Not by
much.
 
Maybe two or three
years.
 
I hope we can become
friends.”

Before
she could answer, I heard Alexa’s voice ring out.
 
“Look, Mom.
 
Look at the chimneys.
 
Sustainable energy!”

“Looks
like smoke to me,” Daniella said.
 
“What’s that doing to the atmosphere, Alexa?
 
Terrible things.
 
Air pollution is air pollution.
 
Do your goddamned homework.”

“At
least it’s not from oil,” she said.
 
“The world is running out of oil.
 
Trees are sustainable.”

“If
you’re going to continue to morph into this new flower-child persona of yours,
then at least do your homework.
 
It’s solar energy that should make your nipples hard, Alexa.
 
The world will run out of clean air
faster with all that smoke pouring into the sky.
 
Not that I care much.
 
Jesus.
 
If you’re going to wear the flower, be
the flower.
 
Just don’t be a fraud.”

“I’m
not a fraud.”

“You
don’t know anything.
 
You’re a
poseur.”

“A
what?”

“See.
 
You don’t even know what that word
means.”

“Siri
will tell me.”

“Seriously?
 
Siri?
 
She can’t even understand you half the
time.”

“Anyway,”
I said to Daniella before Alexa could respond, “it’s great to have you here.”

“You
sure about that?”

“I
am.”

She
lifted her eyes to me and then she seemed to make a decision.
 
“Look, I’m sorry if I’m being a total
bitch.
 
Here’s what no one knows—not
even my mother.
 
But you’re still
pretty much a stranger, so what the hell?
 
Sometimes it’s easier talking to a stranger.”