Annihilate Me: Holiday Edition (17 page)

I’d
never understand it, but here I was.
 
Looking at myself, I felt humbled and a little overwhelmed by my good
fortune.
 
When Lisa and I first came
to Manhattan in May, we had saved just enough money by waiting tables at Pat’s
throughout college to afford a few months’ worth of rent in the city, and a
little left over to eat Raman noodles, drink cheap vodka, drink cheaper coffee,
and to pay the electric bill while I looked for work.
 
Months passed before that that happened
with Wenn.
 
Now, after one mother of
a circuitous route, I somehow was here.
 
I didn’t understand exactly how that had happened, but it nevertheless
had
happened.
 
Why me?
 
I was nothing special.
 
I came from poverty and an abusive
family.
 
How could this be my life
now?
 

I
looked at myself and thought,
How did you ever get so lucky?
 

Alex
leaned into the doorway.
 
“So?”

It
was at that point that I fell into his arms, threw caution to the wind, and
covered his lips and his cheeks with a blizzard of kisses.
 
When I was finished, we stood in front
of the mirror again, and began to fix the damage I’d created.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

When
we went down to the second floor, everything was in full swing.
 

Dinah
Washington was singing “Silent Night” from the iPod dock, which made me think
of my Aunt Marion and Uncle Vaughn, long since deceased.
 
My Aunt Marion always played Dinah
Washington, Gladys Knight, Luther Vandross, Barbra Streisand, and Aretha
Franklin over the holidays.
 
It was
one of my favorite memories, because with each of them, I always felt safe and
loved in ways that I didn’t at home.

I
felt a little guilty that we were late, but nobody seemed to mind.
 
When we stepped into the living room,
everyone already had a drink in their hands, including Blackwell, who was
sipping a martini, as was everyone else save for Tank, who had a tall glass of
Guinness in his hand, and who looked like very handsome in his own fitted
tux.
 

God,
that man is huge.

Unlike
Alex, Tank stepped it up a notch.
 
His bow tie was bright red, either to match Lisa’s dress or to give a
nod to the holidays, and frankly, I never would have expected that’s what he’d
wear.
 
He always seemed so
conservative to me.
 
That bright
flash of red was unexpected, but also welcomed.
 
Who was Tank?
 
I had a feeling that over time, I was
about to find out.
 

His
choice of tie showed me another side of him that I kind of loved—it was a
looser side, and a willingness to take a chance and have fun.
 
With Lisa on his arm in her gorgeous red
dress and with her hair pulled tightly behind her in a chignon, I thought they
looked like the perfect couple.
 
My
heart beat a little faster when I noticed that they were holding hands.
 
I winked at Lisa, and she blinked her
eyes at me when I saw her gaze go to the necklace at my throat.
 
Then she looked at my dress and at my
bracelet, and she shook her head at me.
 
“More later,” I mouthed to her.

“Well,”
Blackwell said to Alex and me.
 
“Did
you mean to make an entrance?
 
No?
 
I have to wonder.
 
Still, you did.
 
And I have to say that you both did it
well, and that you look divoon.
 
Jennifer, it’s as if you were just with Bernie—well done, my
dear.
 
Well done.
 
You’ve paid attention, so good for
you.
 
And Alex, you look on point in
your tux.
 
So, come and have a
cocktail with us.
 
Have one of the
many
hor d’
oeuvres
we’ve
assembled
.
 
None of us have
had dinner, not that I ever wanted dinner.
 
I crunched through a lovely glassful of ice while I was getting
ready.
 
But I know that others are
probably hungry, so look around at the different tables.
 
See the platters?
 
In the kitchen, there’s all sorts of
food on the island.”

“You
look beautiful,” I said to her.

“This
old thing?”

“This
old thing my ass.
 
What are you
wearing?”

“I’ve
already told you.
 
Dior.”

“Well,
it’s not old.”

She
held out her arms and turned in front of me so I could admire the full-length,
navy-blue evening dress she was wearing while Alex said in my ear that he was
going to go and get us two martinis.

“OK,
so it might be new.”

“It
new and chic,” I said.
 
“And those
pearls are beyond.”

“Do
you like them?”

“Are
you joking?”

“Robbing
oysters of their pearls is one of the worst things someone could do,” Alexa
said.
 
“In fact, it’s a detriment to
the oceanic world.
 
Oysters work for
years to cultivate their pearls.
 
Taking them away from them is no different than stealing away a child
away from its mother.”

Blackwell
turned to her.
 
“Here’s a pearl of
wisdom for you, my dear daughter—one of these days, these pearls will
make life very easy for you.
 
So
will the other things I’ve acquired over the years.”

“I
don’t want an easy life.”

“I’m
not suggesting that you should have one.
 
You should work hard.
 
Hard
work is important.
 
But when you’ve
spoon-fed me my last bit of applesauce and I’ve dropped dead in my wheelchair,
everything I have will go to you and your sister.
 
You can either be foolish and give your
share away to charity, which I wouldn’t put past you, or you can invest it for
your future.
 
I recommend the
latter.
 
Now,” Blackwell said when
she turned back to me with fire in her eyes, “let me have a look at that
necklace.
 
It’s fantastic.”

“Alex
just gave it to me.”

“Look
how it complements your bracelet.”

“It
was intentional.”

“I
do love that boy.”

“You’re
not alone.
 
How did I ever get to be
so lucky, Barbara?
 
I’m not talking
about the things that he’s given me—I’m talking about him.
 
Being with him.
 
How did I ever get so lucky?”

“Why
do you even question it?” she said.
 
“You two are meant for each other—it’s obvious to everyone.
 
Just enjoy it.
 
It’s fine if you feel grateful, but that
man in the kitchen?
 
The one I can
hear shaking your drinks?
 
I’m here
to tell you that he’d be the first to say that he was the luckiest one of
all.
 
So.
 
Consider that.”

*
 
*
 
*
 

It
was deep into the party that Alex and I decided to tell everyone the date of
our wedding.
 
At that point, we were
on our second martini, we’d made the rounds and talked with everyone, we’d
nibbled on all sorts of appetizers, and there was the sense that the evening
was winding down.
 

Tomorrow
was a big day for Blackwell—she was determined to make Christmas
dinner.
 
Whether she allowed any of
us to help her was still in question, but after the success she and her
daughters had with the desserts, I had a feeling that tomorrow she planned on
being a one-woman show.
 
And I was worried
about that.

I
nudged Alex’s arm.
 
“Should we do
this?”

“I’ve
been ready to do this since you first accepted the ring.”

I
smiled at that.
 
“Do you think this
is the right time?”

“Sure.
 
It’s getting late.
 
Let’s turn down the music and talk with
our friends.”

“Just
one thing.
 
How about if we first
get a tray filled with flutes of champagne for everyone?
 
Then we’ll make the announcement?”

“Perfect.
 
But Tank probably would prefer another
Guinness.”

“Then
it’s a Guinness for Tank.”

When
we returned with the drinks on a round silver platter, Alex turned down the
music, I started offering everyone a glass, and then I went over to Lisa and
Tank.
 
“Lisa, champagne for
you.
 
Tank, a Guinness for you.”

“What’s
this about?” Lisa asked me.

“You’ll
see.
 
And by the way, Tank, I
haven’t told you yet, but your red bow tie is adorable.”

“Adorable?
 
I don’t know if I was going for
adorable.”

“Well,
it is.”

“Thank
you,” he said.
 
“I guess I can do
adorable.
 
My grandmother used to
call me that when I was a kid.”

“And
she was right.
 
You are adorable,”
Lisa said.

He
looked down at her, kissed her on the forehead, and pulled her closer to his
body.

Love
is blooming!

I
turned to Alex, who took the last two glasses off the tray, and then I found a
table where I could put the tray.
 
He handed me my glass, we touched rims, and then he asked if he could be
one to break the news.

“I’d
love that.”

“What’s
happening?” Daniella said.
 
“Why are
they acting all weird and shit?”

“Just
listen,” I heard Blackwell said.
 
“And pay attention.
 
Alex has
known and loved you since you were a child.
 
This is a big moment for him.
 
So, be polite and listen.”

“Fine.”

“Everyone,”
Alexa said.
 
“Just one thing before
Alex says whatever it is he’s about to say.
 
We’ve used a lot of bottles here
tonight.
 
Let’s make sure that we
make every effort to recycle them before we leave here.
 
OK?
 
Doing so is important.”
 
She
raised her fist into the air.
 
“Planet Earth!” she said.
 
“Planet Earth!”

“Really?”
Daniella said.
 
“Here’s a question
for you, Alexa.
 
You’ve been on the
rag since we got here.
 
I’ve witnessed
it.
 
I’d describe it as a heavy
flow.
 
Are those rags of yours
biodegradable?
 
Hmmm?
 
Are you flushing them or recycling
them?
 
I think I know the
answer.
 
I think you’re a sham.”

“That’s
hardly the same thing.”

“Oh,
whatever, Alexa.”

“You’re
the devil’s spawn, Daniella.”

“Alexa,”
Blackwell said.
 
“That would make me
the devil.”

“I
didn’t mean that, Mom.
 
It’s just
that it’s important to recycle when we can.
 
Why am I so alone in this world?
 
Why doesn’t anyone understand me?”

“Because
you’re a some green-hugging drama queen.”

“Stop
it, Daniella,” Blackwell said.
 
“And
you’re not alone, Alexa.
 
I know
this is important to you.
 
We’ll
recycle.
 
Now, be quiet and listen.”

Alex
and I stood in front of the Christmas tree, which towered behind us in the glow
of many colors, and he looked at Blackwell, who gave him an exhausted nod
before he addressed the group.
 
“All
of you know that Jennifer and I are engaged.
 
What you don’t know are a few
things.
 
First, we’ve set a date for
the wedding.”

“Oh,
my God, when is it?” Lisa said.

“Next
year.”

“When
next year?”

“July
Fourth.”