Angels Walking (30 page)

“Actually, make it a grande.” She smiled politely at the barista. “Please.”

Arnie’s expression changed, as if to say he wasn’t going to argue but clearly he didn’t agree with her choice. They took their drinks to a small table near the window. “Try not to change your order like that. It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s fine.” Sami felt herself relax. This was the right thing to do. She couldn’t have been more certain. “People change their orders all the time.” She wrapped her freezing fingers around her hot cup. “Thanks. For making time to talk.”

“I didn’t really have a choice. The way you’ve been acting.” He sat back, his look slightly condescending. “Let’s make it quick. Then we can watch
The Office
back at your apartment.”
He checked the time on his phone. “If it doesn’t get too late.”

Poor Arnie
. Sami studied him. How had she ever thought the two of them had anything in common? “Here it is.” She exhaled. If only her fingers would stop trembling. “Arnie . . . I don’t think it’s working. You and me.”

For several seconds he only looked at her, as if she’d spoken in French. “That’s what this is about?” He released the slightest chuckle. “You’re doubting us?”

“Yes.” She suddenly realized that he hadn’t even asked her about her time in Florida. Nothing whatsoever about her business trip. She sipped her coffee. “I saw Tyler Ames when I was in Florida.”

Arnie didn’t need to smirk to convey how he felt about Tyler. But he did it anyway. “I heard he got cut.” He leaned his forearms on the table, his look pointed. “How’s that working out for him?”

She didn’t want this to get ugly. “It’s working fine. Tyler doesn’t need baseball.”

“So that’s why we’re having this talk? You have feelings for your old boyfriend?”

Arnie cared a little. Otherwise he wouldn’t have looked up Tyler’s status since the last time they’d talked. Sami waited until the tension between them faded a little. Finally she drew a steadying breath. “This isn’t about Tyler.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Arnie spoke louder than before. “What have I done wrong? Tell me.”

“Don’t raise your voice. Please.” She had never seen this side of him. As if he was playing lawyer with her. “I’m not serious enough for you, Arnie. I feel like I’m acting.”

That seemed to put Arnie a little at ease. He settled back in his seat. “I’m listening.”

“You’re wonderful, Arnie. You’re smart and accomplished. You really might be president of the United States one day.” She reached one hand across the small wooden table. “I believe that.”

He looked at her hand for a long moment and then finally took it. “Thank you.” The fight seemed to leave him just a little. “That helps.”

Sami had a suspicion that in the end this would be easier for Arnie than he thought. But she didn’t want to say so. The tension between them had already faded considerably. “I just need a change. I’m sorry.”

“You think serious is a bad thing?” Arnie released her hand and leaned back, putting both hands on his coffee. “Too many people aren’t serious. We’ve talked about that.”

“I know. And we do have
The Office
—which isn’t exactly serious.”

“Right.” Arnie didn’t smile. “I mean, it’s okay to laugh. But people in this country are too frivolous. They’re fascinated with Twitter and Facebook—dissolving their attention spans to fractions of what they once were.” He took a breath. “You were never like that. It’s the reason I fell in love with you.”

The comment hurt. He had fallen in love with her seriousness? The mere thought of that made her want to run out the door and never look back. Instead she sipped her drink and studied him. Arnie meant the words as a positive. “Thank you.” She found a slight smile. “I’m glad you see me as concerned about society. Really.”

“Not only that, obviously.” He rolled his eyes as if he’d
been trapped. “You’re a beautiful girl, Samantha. Intelligent, poised. From a good family. Perfect for someone like me.”

She wouldn’t get angry. He was still trying to compliment her. “I appreciate that.” She set her elbows on the table and leaned closer, her voice softer than before. “But I need my freedom. I feel like I’m suffocating.”

His expression darkened. He brought one leg up and crossed it over his knee. “I make you feel that way?”

“Yes. You don’t mean to. It’s just . . .” Sami let her hands fall to her lap. At least she wasn’t freezing anymore. “It’s over, Arnie. I don’t know what else to say.”

He sipped his coffee, and for nearly a minute neither of them said anything. “If it’s okay, I’d like to stay in touch with your grandparents. They’re very influential. I appreciate their interest in my career.”

The implied message was that her grandparents were maybe more important to Arnie than she was. But even that didn’t bother Sami. She felt more relieved than angry. “I’m sure they’d love that.”

“Did they know this was coming?” He seemed to doubt the possibility.

“They had no idea.”

“I didn’t think so.” Arnie nodded slowly. “I have to believe they’ll be upset with your decision.”

Sami stared at him. His ugly side was appearing again. “It’s a chance I’ll take.”

Arnie stood and tossed his empty coffee cup in the recycling bin. When he returned he offered Sami his hand. “I’ll drive you back to your apartment.”

She wanted to find her own way back. But she didn’t want
to make things worse. “Fine.” When he dropped her off that night, his eyes were dry. A slight smirk stayed on the corners of his mouth, as if he could hardly believe she was really doing this. Like if Sami wanted to make this mistake, he wasn’t going to stop her.

Sami couldn’t breathe until she was back in her apartment. She slid down the door and fell to the floor in a heap. Only then did she let the laughter come. Not because there was anything very funny about the evening. But because she was free.

The feeling was better than anything Sami had felt in years.

SAMI WADED OUT
into the Pacific Ocean trailing behind Mary Catherine. Each girl had a boogie board tethered to her wrist.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Sami’s heart pounded, the ocean water cold against her skin. She’d walked on the beach a hundred times but never, until now, had she gone in past her ankles. “You’re sure it’s perfectly safe?”

Mary Catherine tilted her head back, her red hair spilling down her back. She looked back at Sami. “Of course it’s not perfectly safe! That’s why it’s fun.” She waited for Sami to catch up. “God meant for us to experience life. It helps us have faith.”

“Faith.” Sami’s teeth chattered. “If I drown, write that on my tombstone.”

Again her friend laughed. “Come on. We have to get out a little ways.”

“Not over our heads. You promised.” The water was up to her waist now. Sami felt her breath catch in her throat. “How much further?”

“There.” Mary Catherine pointed to a spot just ahead of them where smallish waves were constantly forming. “It won’t be over our heads. Not this close in.”

They kept walking. Sami felt panic well up, but she remembered her roommate’s advice:
Pray. Have faith.
She tried to breathe.
God, be with me. Keep the sharks away. Please
. As she uttered the silent prayer, something strange happened. Her fear faded. She was standing in the Pacific Ocean, water lapping against her chest, about to ride a wave for the first time. How great was this?

“Okay. This is good.” Mary Catherine slid the boogie board beneath her so she was lying on top of it. “Do this.” She looked over her shoulder at the waves coming their way. “Hurry!”

Sami did as she was told. She eased herself on top of the board and pointed it toward the shore—same way Mary Catherine did. A squeal came from her. “This is crazy!”

“Here it comes!” Her friend began to paddle. “Use your arms. Come on!”

“I’m doing it! I really am!” Sami began to stroke the water, positioning herself directly in the path of the wave coming up behind them. And then—with a rush of power and force unlike anything Sami had ever felt, the wave grabbed her boogie board and propelled her toward shore.

A few feet away Mary Catherine was having the same sort of ride, laughing out loud. “Yahoooo!” she screamed as loud as she could. “I love this!”

Sami was still holding on, still trying to remember how to inhale amidst the exhilaration of the ride. But when the wave died on shore, Sami stood and raised her board in the air. “I did it! I rode a wave!” She danced around in a little circle. Then she jogged back toward the deeper water. “Let’s do it again!”

Yesterday she and Mary Catherine had stayed up late talking about Sami’s breakup. But instead of the conversation being sad and depressing, it was full of hope. Together they wrote a list of everything Sami needed to do. Things that weren’t safe or predictable or grown-up.

Skydiving and horseback riding, hikes in the Santa Monica Mountains, and serving at the homeless mission downtown. Crazy wonderful exciting things.

Like riding the waves at Zuma Beach.

“Look at you, Sami Dawson!” Mary Catherine laughed, her voice carrying above the sound of the surf. “You’re learning to live!”

It was true. Sami almost felt guilty for not being more broken up, for not allowing an appropriate amount of time to grieve the loss of her relationship with Arnie. But she couldn’t bring herself to feel sad. If this was what life felt like, she could only breathe it in and savor every moment.

Life had just begun.

She could hardly wait for whatever came next.

25

B
ECK WORE THE WHITE
uniform of one of the hospital orderlies, his pace determined. He’d learned this much: when angels walked, one thing was crucial—confidence. He set his jaw and kept his eyes straight ahead.

A minute later he reached her room, stepped inside, and moved straight for the TV. Like a man on a mission.

A nurse was in the room, preparing for a patient’s arrival. “Can I help you?” She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly trying to place him.

Beck smiled, his voice quiet, “Just changing the channel.” He reached up and manually switched the television from a Western to ESPN. The sound was muted and Beck left it that way.

“Why?” Again the nurse looked confused.

“Request from the family.” Beck nodded at the nurse and left the room. Halfway down the hall he stepped into a supply closet.

And like that he disappeared.

THE CALL CHERYL
had dreaded for most of the last decade came at three that Sunday afternoon. The one she’d expected since her mother’s health began to decline. Lately her mom had been doing so well Cheryl actually stopped expecting it. As if love could prolong the life of even the most worn-out heart.

She dried her hands on a dishtowel and answered the phone on the third ring. The caller ID read Merrill Place. She leaned against the kitchen counter. “Hello?”

“Cheryl, it’s Harrison Myers.” He paused. “I’m sorry . . . I’m afraid your mother might’ve had a heart attack.”

A heart attack? The room began to spin and Cheryl struggled to stay focused. She gripped the counter with one hand and pressed the phone to her ear. “Is she . . . conscious?”

“Yes. Paramedics are getting her into the ambulance now.” He sounded upset. “Meet us at the hospital. Get there as fast as you can. Please.”