“Sorry. I’m very forgetful sometimes.” He picked up the cookie and took a bite; stretching back against the sofa, he rested one long leg out in front of him.
I smiled; if there’s an opposite of
sorry
, that’s how he looked. “Seb...you know I appreciate everything you’ve just said. God – so much. But when we attack the Twelve, I have to be there with Alex. I
have
to be. I’ve got to learn this.”
Seb’s eyebrows drew together in thought as he finished eating; I could sense him putting aside his own feelings. “You will – I’m just not sure how else I can explain it to you,” he said. Brushing his hands off, he sat up and held them out to me. “Here, see again what it’s like for me.”
I wasn’t sure what good it would do – we’d tried this so many times. I moved beside him on the sofa anyway; putting my hands in his, I closed my eyes. The half-angel energy felt completely familiar now, wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. And the sensation as Seb changed his aura was like second nature to me too by then...but this time, as I drifted into the lights of my own aura, I realized I could feel something different.
In a daze, it came to me: Seb and I had been growing closer every day, so that now I
was
able to sense what he was doing on every possible level, almost as if I was him – and it let me grasp a detail I hadn’t managed to catch before. He’d told me this over and over, but for the first time I was experiencing it for myself – the way he kept his aura locked safely away, where it couldn’t be disturbed. I could feel how protected that part of his mind was, how cradled away from everything. He’d almost built a sort of barrier around it, though I knew he wasn’t even aware of it; he must have done it instinctively as a child.
Mirroring him just as I’d done over two weeks ago, when we’d only barely started, I carefully constructed the same mental shield. Immediately, I felt a calm come over me – as if on a deep level I knew, really
knew
, that whatever I did with my aura now was totally secure.
Blue
, I thought, and felt it shift.
I could tell Seb had sensed what had happened, and why. His hands tightened in mine. “Look,” he said in a whisper.
I opened my eyes. My aura was a clear sky-blue, with lavender hues. I swallowed, half-expecting it to crash back to silver. Deliberately, I thought of the Council attack; of how much I needed to be there; of every distracting, worrying thought I could throw at myself.
My aura stayed blue.
I reached out in wonder, and watched the blue lights gleaming on my fingers. Exhilaration rushed through me.
“Seb, I’ve got it! I’ve really got it!” I lunged forward, hugging him. He returned my hug with a laugh; I could sense his deep relief that I had it now, despite his reservations.
I sank back onto the sofa, staring at my still-blue aura. I experimented with changing it to a dull, stunted grey. The colours dimmed and shrank. It looked like used dishwater clinging to me. I hated it. So would an angel.
I’m not sure how long went by as I sat playing with my aura, shifting its colours with my thoughts. Seb watched in silence. Finally we glanced at each other, and my excitement faded. The closeness between us that had let me finally learn this suddenly seemed like a double-edged sword – because when the team attacked the Council, Seb would be there too now, risking his life. Alex and I didn’t have a choice, but Seb did. I wanted him to be safe, just as much as he wanted the same thing for me.
He shook his head, responding to my unspoken thought. “
Madre mía
, Willow,” he said softly. “Do you really think I’d go somewhere and be
safe
while you’re taking part in that?”
My chest felt tight. “Seb...you could die. And it would be for a cause that isn’t even yours, really.”
Almost the moment I said the words, I got a flash of a small girl with big eyes – the same girl I’d seen once before.
Run, niña!
With a frightened gasp, she took to her heels, darting away through a whirling, dancing crowd.
I stared at Seb. “Who is that?”
He shrugged, his eyes distant. “I don’t know. A street child.” He told me what had happened; how he’d saved her from an angel. I sat without moving as I listened, picturing it all so vividly – and feeling limp with relief that he’d somehow managed to kill the angel with only a knife.
As Seb finished, he pulled a face at himself. “The whole time, I was thinking,
You stupid
cabrón,
what are you doing? You’re finally so close to finding her, why are you risking it for this?
But I knew afterwards that I’d do it again. That it was worth it.”
“Because she could have been you,” I murmured, watching him. He sat with his head down, playing with the cuff of his shirt; the strong features of his face looked almost sculpted. “You helped her when she needed you, the way you always wished someone would help you.”
“Yes, I guess that’s it.” Seb turned his head to look at me; he seemed to be studying me down to my soul. He smiled slightly. “Even when it happened, I knew you’d understand.”
My face heated; we didn’t talk much about how it had always been me who he was looking for – as opposed to just any half-angel girl.
He glanced down again, pushed his cuffs up to his elbows. “Willow, I’ll be wherever you are when it happens,” he said. “Let’s not bother arguing, okay?”
“Okay,” I got out finally. And in a way it felt inevitable that Seb would be there. But, oh god, I hated it – the two people I cared about most in the world would be risking their lives at the same time.
I’d stopped being aware of my aura as we talked, and now I brought it back into view. It still looked the way I’d last imagined: grey and unappealing.
Purple
, I thought, and watched it turn a rich plum colour. “So I guess I’ve got the hang of this,” I said at last.
Seb was gazing at my aura too. “Yes. Maybe a few more days, to make sure.”
I nodded, though I think we both knew I really had it now. But Alex would be sure to insist on the same thing I sighed, suddenly wanting him here so badly. No, actually, wanting both of us to be somewhere else. Up at the cabin, maybe, going for a walk in the mountains – knowing that we had all the time in the world together.
As if brought on by my thoughts, my cellphone beeped. I pulled it from my jeans pocket and found a text from Alex:
Home in a while. We’re OK. I love you
.
I smiled and texted a quick response, then put the phone away. “They’ll be here later.”
As I glanced back at Seb I saw how he was looking at me – the depth of feeling in his eyes. The wave of emotion from him felt suddenly cut off, as if he’d quickly tried to stifle it, but it still made me catch my breath. I looked away, pretending I hadn’t noticed, even though all at once my heart was banging in my chest.
“So, um...we’ve got time for me to keep practising for a while,” I said. My throat felt too small to get words through.
“Yes, all right,” said Seb. He sat up, not looking at me as he reached for another cookie. “We’ll see how fast you can change it.”
I swallowed, taking in the slight flush that had appeared in his cheeks. “Actually...actually, I’ll be right back,” I said, jumping up. “Do you want a Coke or anything?”
Without waiting for Seb to answer, I went out to the kitchen, where I opened the fridge door and let its chill waft over my face for a few minutes. Finally I took out a pair of Cokes, bumping the fridge door closed with my hip. Then for some reason I found myself putting them on the counter and sending another text to Alex, telling him that I loved him.
When I went back into the TV room, the awkward moment had thankfully passed, and I could tell myself that Seb was just my brother again.
“O
KAY
,”
SAID
K
ARA ONCE THE
AKs were settled in a cafe; the view was of Aztec ruins, with the cathedral rising up behind. She blew on her coffee. “That gang of angels back in the offices appeared a couple of days ago.” She glanced apologetically at Alex. “I wanted to get more information before I said anything, with how tense everything’s been lately.”
He nodded, not really able to fault her for it, though he’d have preferred to know earlier. “And?”
Kara sighed. “From what I’ve managed to pick up, it’s the angel who’s been chosen to run the cathedral, along with his groupies. And I don’t think they’re going anywhere. I don’t know if they’re discussing details or what, but they mostly seem to be hanging out in the reception area – that means anyone who goes into the main office has to go right past them.”
“Are they still there at night?” asked Trish, fiddling worriedly with a packet of sugar.
“I don’t know,” said Kara. “It doesn’t matter; after evening service they kick everyone out and lock up – and their security set-up is a lot better than we’re equipped to deal with. Here, look.” She showed the team a series of photos taken surreptitiously with her phone – state-of-the-art motion detectors, and steel doors installed above the ancient wooden ones, which looked like they slammed shut automatically if anything went off, trapping you inside the building.
Alex had seen the photos before, but still found himself grimacing as he scrolled through them. Despite his distrust of the CIA, he wished they had some way to get in touch with Sophie – they could seriously use some of the high-tech toys those guys had right about now. He handed the phone to Sam, who’d been craning to see over his arm. “So even with the security code, it’s not looking great, is it?” he said grimly. “Not if the offices are chock-full of angels now.”
They’d all taken their angel wings off, which were now lying in a small, satiny pile between their table and the wall. Kara still had on the long wig though; she absently twirled one of the braids around her finger. “They haven’t been feeding as much as I’d expect, really, but...yeah, getting past them is definitely going to be high-risk. Between them, I think they’ve sampled everyone in the offices by now.”
Glancing around him, Alex saw that the team looked a little sick. He didn’t blame them.
“
But
, I think there could be a way,” went on Kara. “Because I don’t get much sense of these angels interacting with humans at all, if they’re feeding from them – so they can’t be that familiar with the workings of the offices. And during evening service, I don’t feel any people back there – just these angels. So if someone walked past them into the office then, and looked sort of official – like they had an after-hours job to do – then I don’t think they’d challenge them.”
“No, just feed off them,” said Brendan with a shudder. “This really isn’t my all-time favourite plan that I’ve ever heard so far.”
Suddenly Alex knew. He dropped back against his seat. “Seb,” he said.
“And/or Willow,” agreed Kara. Her voice was businesslike. Whatever she thought about half-angels, she was hiding it for the moment.
Alex shook his head, his mind already ticking, thinking through possibilities. “No, she still hasn’t gotten the hang of the aura work. But
Seb
...God, if he’d do it...” The irony of having to ask Seb for assistance wasn’t lost on him; he and Seb barely spoke if they didn’t have to. Seb had agreed to help them though – and he’d have to see that this was too big for their personal feelings to get in the way of.
Sam’s face was screwed up in distaste. He took a slurp of his beer. “Does someone want to explain to me what’s going on? Why are we talking about that half-angel guy?”
“Because he can change his aura, idiot, remember?” said Liz, shoving lightly at Sam’s solid arm. “That’s what he’s training Willow to do – remember?”
He glowered at her. “Yeah, but I thought that was just to make it look
normal
.”
“No, he can make it look really unappetizing, too,” said Alex. “You know – like the last aura in the world an angel would ever want to feed from. Willow said it’s what he does when he sees one on the hunt.”
Wesley’s habitual frown was back in place, his expression intense. “What about the computers? Won’t they have passwords on them?”
Kara sighed. “I think, unfortunately, that’s the part we’re going to have to play by ear.”
Alex blew out a soft breath. He’d known already that breaking into the Church offices wasn’t as sure a bet as he’d like when it came to getting the security plans. But it was their only real hope.
“I’ll talk to Seb when we get home.” He circled his finger through the condensation on his beer glass as he considered how they could best provide Seb with backup. No immediate way sprang to mind – not with that many angels in the office area, and in the narrow hallways that Kara had described. If any trouble broke out, it would be slaughter to have anyone posted back there; Seb was most likely going to have to be on his own.
“Jesus, this is going to be risky as hell,” he muttered. He felt a short, fierce relief that Willow hadn’t learned to disguise her aura yet.
“Well...there
is
something else we might try, but I don’t know how well it would work,” said Kara slowly. “The evening service two nights from now is going to be a special one, to celebrate the appointment of the new angel head – and the preacher’s going to be giving blessings on behalf of the angels.”