Authors: Jennifer Lavoie
When they finally reached the pavilion, someone asked what they wanted to drink. Ryder grabbed a soda, insisting he didn't want a drink, but Andrew grabbed a cup of beer. He took a sip from it and made a face.
“Watered-down,” he responded when Ryder looked questioningly at him.
“Don't drink it, then.”
Andrew shrugged and sipped at it as they mingled with the crowd. Karina was there, and she winked at the two of them and motioned them over. Andrew groaned when Ryder followed her to the edge of the field, away from anyone they knew.
“So?” she asked when they were alone.
Ryder grinned and gave her the thumbs-up.
Karina squealed her excitement and gave them both hugs. “Congrats, guys! I promise I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.”
Andrew looked around and saw a few people lingering at the edge of the field near them. He swallowed nervously, wondering if they heard her outburst. When they didn't glance over he assumed they hadn't, but he motioned for her to keep it down anyway.
“That's cool, but uh, what's with the squealing?” Ryder asked, slinging an arm around both of their shoulders. Some of his soda splashed onto the ground.
“I think it's cute. I love adorable gay guys.” Before either of them could protest, she winked and slipped out from under Ryder's arm and bolted back to the party.
Adorable gay guys?
Andrew stared after her, rolling the word over in his mind. Was that what he really was? Gay? He'd never thought about it like that. He just liked Ryder. He liked spending time with him and seeing him, and yeah, kissing him.
Gay.
The word sent a jolt through his chest, a tingling sensation that spread to his palms and down his legs. It made him jittery, almost nervous, but not quite. Andrew glanced at his palms before he watched her go, shaking his head. “Karina. Who knew?”
“She's cool. I like her.”
“Yeah, she's awesome. But a little loud.” He glanced around for a second time to make sure no one was watching. One girl had glanced their way and stared at them. Andrew's stomach dropped, but when her friends called her name she turned back to them and laughed at their joke.
She probably didn't hear anything.
They made their way back to the party and found Andrea. She chatted with Michael and Karina. Ryder looked around and asked if Melissa had come, but she hadn't. This sort of party wasn't her thing, though Karina had asked her to come out.
As the time neared midnight, Andrew had ditched his drink and got a new cup for soda. Sipping on the flat Pepsi, he joked around with everyone. Charlie was completely wasted and unsteady on his feet, and he had to lean heavily on Sarah. She laughed with him, but Ryder made a face at the whole display and started to wander off. Andrew got up and followed him, calling out to get him to stop.
“Hey! Wait for me,” he said and dropped his cup in the trash barrel. Ryder had his hands shoved deep in his pockets, though he kept glancing at his watch. “Aren't you having fun?”
“It's all right,” he said and glanced around. “But it's not much of a party.”
“Yeah, sucks about the fireworks.” He followed Ryder out behind the main building and glanced around. They were alone, though he could hear people talking nearby and the music still filled the cold air. Ryder leaned against the building and pulled Andrew close to him.
“Ryderâ¦people are all over the place.”
“There's no one here right now. Relax,” he said and refused to let him go. Andrew realized he was losing an uphill battle and stopped fighting. Besides, he
wanted
to kiss Ryder. He leaned against him and tilted his head up for a kiss when he felt a hand under his chin.
Soft and sweet lips pressed gently against his, and Andrew let himself be drawn deeper into it. He closed his eyes and pressed closer, enjoying the feel of Ryder's warm hands sliding up under his jacket and shirt to press against his bare skin. Ryder shifted his legs and spread them into a wider stance, inviting Andrew to stand inside the space they made, and he did. He lost himself in the moment and forgot they were in a public place where anyone could see them, but for that minute, it didn't matter. All the sounds faded away to muted silence; the only things he heard were the rushing of his pulse and their soft breaths.
He didn't notice the footsteps coming from around the corner of the building until it was too late. When he heard the sharp gasp, he jerked his head back and waited for the worst. And it really couldn't have gotten any worse.
Right at the corner of the building stood his sister, with her eyes wide and one hand frozen on the side of the wooden structure. She stared at them with a mixture of shocked fascination and horror. Andrew felt his own face color despite the cold, and then pale. He felt sick and dizzy. Ryder swore softly under his breath.
“Andreaâ”
“Oh, my God,” she said, and turned to leave just as suddenly as she came. Andrew waited a second before rushing after her with Ryder close behind.
“Andrea, wait!”
“I want to go home!” she yelled as she dodged everyone in her path. She ran to the truck, opened the door, and climbed inside. Andrew climbed awkwardly into the driver's seat. Ryder started to climb into the passenger seat when Andrea pushed him back out. “No. You find your own ride home.”
“Andrea! We brought him here. I'm not going to make himâ”
“I don't want him touching me! He can walk home for all I care!” she screamed, and a few people closer to the cars turned to look in their direction.
“Andrea, you're making a scene,” Andrew whispered.
“Look, I can catch a ride with Karina if it's a problem,” Ryder started, holding his hands up.
“No, get in the truck. I'll bring you home.”
“I saidâ”
“Andrea! Knock it off. I'm giving Ryder a ride home.”
She remained locked in fuming silence.
Andrew blew out his frustration. “If you want, I'll take him home and then come back and get you,” Andrew reasoned. A few of their friends had started toward them, concern on their faces.
No, not this. Please not this. Not now.
“I am not staying here. Take me home right now, Andrew.”
“Andrea, lookâ”
“I don't want to hear it,” she said, cutting him off again.
Andrew swallowed hard and started the truck. He motioned for Ryder to hurry up and get in as a small crowd started to gather behind the truck. Andrea seemed to realize everyone had focused their attention on them and stopped her protesting when Ryder climbed in. She centered herself on the seat and crossed her arms tightly over her chest, avoiding touching either of them. Andrew drove back into town and turned down the road for the Kensingtons' farm. All the lights were off in the house when they pulled up. Ryder got out of the truck and hesitated before shutting the door.
“I'll call you?”
Andrew nodded and gave him a small, tight smile. Ryder looked worried as they drove off.
With Ryder out of the car, Andrea moved over as far as she could. She leaned against the door, not looking at her brother. Andrew's heart pounded in his chest, and he felt sick. He'd made a stupid mistake and now he would pay for it.
The snow fell heavily by the time they reached their house, and the roads were getting slicker by the second. It was hard enough driving with the road conditions, but his shaking hands made it worse.
When he pulled into the driveway, all the lights were on downstairs.
Great, Mom and Dad are home
, he thought.
This is not going to be good.
Andrea didn't bother shutting the door as she leapt from the truck and bolted for the house. The door slammed behind her as she entered, and Andrew stayed in his seat for a few minutes, steeling himself for a confrontation. Large flakes of snow drifted into the cab and landed on the seat and dashboard, melting from the heat.
When the front door opened and his father looked out, he reluctantly got out of the truck, shut the doors, and slowly made his way up the house while trying to keep a calm look on his face. He stopped in front of his father.
“What the hell is wrong with your sister? Did something happen out there? She just came in spouting all this stuff and yelling. We can barely understand her. Did someone try something with her?”
“No, Dad. Nothing happened to her. She's fine.”
His father opened the door wider and let him in, and Andrew stepped inside. He set his keys down on the table and started to unzip his jacket when Andrea and his mother came around the corner from the living room.
“Mom, Dad, your
son
has something he wants to tell you.”
They all looked at him and he tensed. “No I don't. I don't know what she's talking about,” he said, but his cheeks started to burn and he couldn't stop them. He thought for sure he was about to be sick all over the floor. His stomach clenched tightly and the shaking in his hands moved down to his knees. He leaned against the door frame to stay on his feet.
“Yes, you do!” she screamed, stomping up to him, just inches away from his face “I saw you! Don't deny it. I know what I saw. I wasn't drinking!”
“Andrew, what is she talking about?”
“Nothing, she's not talking about anything. Andrea, let's talk about this, please? Alone?” he pleaded, reaching out to grab her hand. They'd always confided in each other, so why would she tell them like this without talking to him about it first? Why couldn't they discuss this like the rational people they always had been?
Because Andrea hadn't been rational lately. Ever since the stupid scholarships came along.
“Nothing? No, we're not talking about this alone. It's so disgusting, I can't evenâ¦Mom, Dad,” she said, turning toward them, “I saw Ryder and Andrew kissing. And I don't mean likeâ¦like friends kissing on the cheek. I mean like they were
kissing
and really getting into it.”
Andrew narrowed his eyes, barely able to control the anger that rose within him, and he suppressed his desire to be sick.
His parents turned as one to stare at him. His mother's eyes were wide and begged him to deny it. A sharp gasp escaped past her open lips. Her face turned pale, almost ghostly, and then colored to the brightest shade of red. His father's expression was guarded and unreadable, though there was a small flicker of surprise in his eyes. His lips pressed into a firm line.
“Andrew, is that true?” his mother asked in a nearly inaudible whisper.
He sighed and took a deep breath before letting it out. What could he do? What
should
he do? Andrea would convince his parents, and he wouldn't be able to keep denying it, would he? Maybe for now, but when would it slip out again? He couldn't keep it from them, or himself, anymore. This wasn't fair. He should be able to tell them when he was ready, not because Andrea was forcing his hand. “Yeah, it's true.”
“Oh, my God,” his mother cried, hand flying up to her mouth.
“Andrew⦔
He cringed and looked up at his father, expecting the worst.
“I can't believe it,” Andrea yelled. “You're gay! All this time dating all those girls and sleeping with them, and you're a fag? What a joke! You've lied to me this whole time!”
“Andrea, that's enough,” Dad warned. “I will not tolerate that kind of language in this house.”
“No, that's not enough, Dad. Are you sleeping with Ryder, too? Is it just like being with Cynthia?”
His mother burst into tears and left the room, her hands covering her face.
Andrew looked down at the ground, unable to speak. Anger and shock from her violent response to all of this coursed through his body. But his hesitation seemed to give her more fuel for the fire, and she continued. “Oh God,” she whispered. “He's turned
you
â”
“Andrea! That is enough!” his father yelled. “Get upstairs and cool off!”
Andrew couldn't stick around to find out what would happen next, so he grabbed his keys, threw the door open, and ran out of the house.
His father ran onto the driveway and called for him, but Andrew had already backed the truck out of the driveway and set the tires spinning. When his father's hand hit the tailgate of the truck, Andrew ignored him and continued his race down the road, needing to get away as quickly as possible.
Andrew stood on the Kensingtons' porch, banging on the door, still trying to calm his racing pulse. A full minute later, the porch lights flickered on and Ryder opened the door. Based on what he wore, Andrew knew that Ryder had already gone to bed. He knew he looked like crap too, as he shivered in the wind.
“Andrew, what the hell?” Ryder grabbed him, dragged him inside, and then shut the door behind them. Once inside, Ryder dragged him over to the fireplace and stood in front of it with him. Andrew shivered violently again and wrapped his arms around himself.
“What happened?”
“Andrea. She told my parents,” he groaned. “After I dropped you off, she didn't talk to me the entire way home. And as soon as I parked the truck, she bolted for the house and just exploded! She asked if we were having sex in front of my parents, and I couldn't deny it. Oh God, Ryder. She told my parents. I can't believe she told them!”
Ryder jerked back liked Andrew's words physically assaulted him. “Shit! Andrew, I'm so sorry they found out this way. Are you okay?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Andrew and pulling him close. “How did they take it?”
“I didn't stick around to wait and see what they would say. I got the hell out of there.”
Ryder pulled back to look at him. “In this storm? You could have been killed, Andy.”
“I
couldn't
stay!” Andrew argued. “My mother started crying and Andrea freaked out. My dadâ¦I don't even want to know what he's going to do when I get home.” He pushed away, out of Ryder's warm arms, and started to pace around the room. “Why couldn't my parents be cool like your uncle?”