Andrew Lang_Fairy Book 03 (26 page)

Now when Simon came by, the first rogue said to him, 'God bless
you, my fine gentleman.'

'Thanks for your courtesy,' replied Simon.

'Where have you been?' asked the thief.

'To the market,' was the reply.

'And what did you buy there?' continued the rogue.

'This mule.'

'Which mule?'

'The one I'm sitting upon, to be sure,' replied Simon.

'Are you in earnest, or only joking?'

'What do you mean?'

'Because it seems to me you've got hold of a donkey, and not of a
mule.'

'A donkey? Rubbish!' screamed Simon, and without another word he
rode on his way. After a few hundred yards he met the second
confederate, who addressed him, 'Good day, dear sir, where are you
coming from?'

'From the market,' answered Simon.

'Did things go pretty cheap?' asked the other.

'I should just think so,' said Simon.

'And did you make any good bargain yourself?'

'I bought this mule on which you see me.'

'Is it possible that you really bought that beast for a mule?'

'Why certainly.'

'But, good heavens, it's nothing but a donkey!'

'A donkey!' repeated Simon, 'you don't mean to say so; if a single
other person tells me that, I'll make him a present of the
wretched animal.'

With these words he continued his way, and very soon met the third
knave, who said to him, 'God bless you, sir; are you by any chance
coming from the market?'

'Yes, I am,' replied Simon.

'And what bargain did you drive there?' asked the cunning fellow.

'I bought this mule on which I am riding.'

'A mule! Are you speaking seriously, or do you wish to make a fool
of me?'

'I'm speaking in sober earnest,' said Simon; 'it wouldn't occur to
me to make a joke of it.'

'Oh, my poor friend,' cried the rascal, 'don't you see that is a
donkey and not a mule? you have been taken in by some wretched
cheats.'

'You are the third person in the last two hours who has told me
the same thing,' said Simon, 'but I couldn't believe it,' and
dismounting from the mule he spoke: 'Keep the animal, I make you a
present of it.' The rascal took the beast, thanked him kindly, and
rode on to join his comrades, while Simon continued his journey on
foot.

As soon as the old man got home, he told his housekeeper that he
had bought a beast under the belief that it was a mule, but that
it had turned out to be a donkey—at least, so he had been assured
by several people he had met on the road, and that in disgust he
had at last given it away.

'Oh, you simpleton!' cried Nina; 'didn't you see that they were
only playing you a trick? Really, I thought you'd have had more
gumption than that; they wouldn't have taken me in in that way.'

'Never mind,' replied Simon, 'I'll play them one worth two of
that; for depend upon it they won't be contented with having got
the donkey out of me, but they'll try by some new dodge to get
something more, or I'm much mistaken.'

Now there lived in the village not far from Simon's house, a
peasant who had two goats, so alike in every respect that it was
impossible to distinguish one from the other. Simon bought them
both, paid as small a price as he could for them, and leading them
home with him, he told Nina to prepare a good meal, as he was
going to invite some friends to dinner. He ordered her to roast
some veal, and to boil a pair of chickens, and gave her some herbs
to make a good savoury, and told her to bake the best tart she
could make. Then he took one of the goats and tied it to a post in
the courtyard, and gave it some grass to eat; but he bound a cord
round the neck of the other goat and led it to the market.

Hardly had he arrived there, than the three gentlemen who had got
his mule perceived him, and coming up to him said: 'Welcome, Mr.
Simon, what brings you here; are you on the look out for a
bargain?'

'I've come to get some provisions,' he answered, 'because some
friends are coming to dine with me today, and it would give me
much pleasure if you were to honour me with your company also.'

The accomplices willingly accepted this invitation; and after
Simon had made all his purchases, he tied them on to the goat's
back, and said to it, in the presence of the three cheats, 'Go
home now, and tell Nina to roast the veal, and boil the chickens,
and tell her to prepare a savoury with herbs, and to bake the best
tart she can make. Have you followed me? Then go, and Heaven's
blessing go with you.'

As soon as it felt itself free, the laden goat trotted off as
quickly as it could, and to this day nobody knows what became of
it. But Simon, after wandering about the market for some time with
his three friends and some others he had picked up, returned home
to his house.

When he and his guests entered the courtyard, they noticed the
goat tied to the post quietly chewing the cud. They were not a
little astonished at this, for of course they thought it was the
same goat that Simon had sent home laden with provisions. As soon
as they reached the house Mr. Simon said to his housekeeper,
'Well, Nina, have you done what I told the goat to tell you to
do?' The artful woman, who at once understood her master,
answered, 'Certainly I have. The veal is roasted, and the chickens
boiled.'

'That's all right,' said Simon.

When the three rogues saw the cooked meats, and the tart in the
oven, and heard Nina's words, they were nearly beside themselves
with amazement, and began to consult at once how they were to get
the goat into their own possession. At last, towards the end of
the meal, having sought in vain for some cunning dodge to get the
goat away from Mr. Simon, one of them said to him, 'My worthy
host, you must sell your goat to us.'

Simon replied that he was most unwilling to part with the
creature, as no amount of money would make up to him for its loss;
still, if they were quite set on it, he would let them have the
goat for fifty gold pieces.

The knaves, who thought they were doing a capital piece of
business, paid down the fifty gold pieces at once, and left the
house quite happily, leading the goat with them. When they got
home they said to their wives, 'You needn't begin to cook the
dinner to-morrow till we send the provisions home.'

The following day they went to the market and bought chickens and
other eatables, and after they had packed them on the back of the
goat (which they had brought with them), they told it all the
dishes they wished their wives to prepare. As soon as the goat
felt itself free, it ran as quickly as it could, and was very soon
lost to sight, and, as far as I know, was never heard of again.

When the dinner hour approached all three went home and asked
their wives if the goat had returned with the necessary
provisions, and had told them what they wished prepared for their
meal.

'Oh, you fools and blockheads!' cried their wives, 'how could you
ever believe for a moment that a goat would do the work of a
servant-maid? You have been finely deceived for once in a way. Of
course, if you are always taking in other people, your turn to be
taken in comes too, and this time you've been made to look pretty
foolish.'

When the three comrades saw that Mr. Simon had got the better of
them, and done them out of fifty gold pieces, they flew into such
a rage that they made up their minds to kill him, and, seizing
their weapons for this purpose, went to his house.

But the sly old man, who was terrified for his life that the three
rogues might do him some harm, was on his guard, and said to his
housekeeper, 'Nina, take this bladder, which is filled with blood,
and hide it under your cloak; then when these thieves come I'll
lay all the blame on you, and will pretend to be so angry with you
that I will run at you with my knife, and pierce the bladder with
it; then you must fall on the ground as if you were dead, and
leave the rest to me.'

Hardly had Simon said these words when the three rogues appeared
and fell on him to kill him.

'My friends,' called out Simon to then, 'what do you accuse me of?
I am in no way to blame; perhaps my housekeeper has done you some
injury of which I know nothing.' And with these words, he turned
on Nina with his knife, and stuck it right into her, so that he
pierced the bladder filled with blood. Instantly the housekeeper
fell down as if she were dead, and the blood streamed all over the
ground.

Simon then pretended to be seized with remorse at the sight of
this dreadful catastrophe, and cried out in a loud voice, 'Unhappy
wretch that I am! What have I done? Like a madman I have killed
the woman who is the prop and stay of my old age. How could I ever
go on living without her?' Then he seized a pipe, and when he had
blown into it for some time Nina sprang up alive and well.

The rogues were more amazed than ever; they forgot their anger,
and buying the pipe for two hundred gold pieces, they went
joyfully home.

Not long after this one of them quarrelled with his wife, and in
his rage he thrust his knife into her breast so that she fell dead
on the ground. Then he took Simon's pipe and blew into it with all
his might, in the hopes of calling his wife back to life. But he
blew in vain, for the poor soul was as dead as a door-nail.

When one of his comrades heard what had happened, he said, 'You
blockhead, you can't have done it properly; just let me have a
try,' and with these words he seized his wife by the roots of her
hair, cut her throat with a razor, and then took the pipe and blew
into it with all his might but he couldn't bring her back to life.
The same thing happened to the third rogue, so that they were now
all three without wives.

Full of wrath they ran to Simon's house, and, refusing to listen
to a word of explanation or excuse, they seized the old man and
put him into a sack, meaning to drown him in the neighbouring
river. On their way there, however, a sudden noise threw them into
such a panic that they dropped the sack with Simon in it and ran
for their lives.

Soon after this a shepherd happened to pass by with his flock, and
while he was slowly following the sheep, who paused here and there
by the wayside to browse on the tender grass, he heard a pitiful
voice wailing, 'They insist on my taking her, and I don't want
her, for I am too old, and I really can't have her.' The shepherd
was much startled, for he couldn't make out where these words,
which were repeated more than once, came from, and looked about
him to the right and left; at last he perceived the sack in which
Simon was hidden, and going up to it he opened it and discovered
Simon repeating his dismal complaint. The shepherd asked him why
he had been left there tied up in a sack.

Simon replied that the king of the country had insisted on giving
him one of his daughters as a wife, but that he had refused the
honour because he was too old and too frail. The simple-minded
shepherd, who believed his story implicitly, asked him, 'Do you
think the king of the country would give his daughter to me?'

'Yes, certainly, I know he would,' answered Simon, 'if you were
tied up in this sack instead of me.' Then getting out of the sack,
he tied the confiding shepherd up in it instead, and at his
request fastened it securely and drove the sheep on himself.

An hour had scarcely passed when the three rogues returned to the
place where they had left Simon in the sack, and without opening
it, one of them seized it and threw it into the river. And so the
poor shepherd was drowned instead of Mr. Simon!

The three rogues, having wreaked their vengeance, set out, for
home. On their way they noticed a flock of sheep grazing not far
from the road. They longed to steal a few of the lambs, and
approached the flock, and were more than startled to recognise Mr.
Simon, whom they had drowned in the river, as the shepherd who was
looking after the sheep. They asked him how he had managed to get
out of the river, to which he replied:

'Get along with you—you are no better than silly donkeys without
any sense; if you had only drowned me in deeper water I would have
returned with three times as many sheep.'

When the three rogues heard this, they said to him: 'Oh, dear Mr.
Simon, do us the favour to tie us up in sacks and throw us into
the river that we may give up our thieving ways and become the
owners of flocks.'

'I am ready,' answered Simon, 'to do what you please; there's
nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you.'

So he took three strong sacks and put a man in each of them, and
fastened them up so tightly that they couldn't get out, and then
he threw them all into the river; and that was the end of the
three rogues. But Mr. Simon returned home to his faithful Nina
rich in flocks and gold, and lived for many a year in health and
happiness.

Kletke.

There was once upon a time a king called Kojata, whose beard was
so long that it reached below his knees. Three years had passed
since his marriage, and he lived very happily with his wife, but
Heaven granted him no heir, which grieved the King greatly. One
day he set forth from his capital, in order to make a journey
through his kingdom. He travelled for nearly a year through the
different parts of his territory, and then, having seen all there
was to be seen, he set forth on his homeward way. As the day was
very hot and sultry he commanded his servants to pitch tents in
the open field, and there await the cool of the evening. Suddenly
a frightful thirst seized the King, and as he saw no water near,
he mounted his horse, and rode through the neighbourhood looking
for a spring. Before long he came to a well filled to the brim
with water clear as crystal, and on the bosom of which a golden
jug was floating. King Kojata at once tried to seize the vessel,
but though he endeavoured to grasp it with his right hand, and
then with his left, the wretched thing always eluded his efforts
and refused to let itself be caught. First with one hand, and then
with two, did the King try to seize it, but like a fish the goblet
always slipped through his fingers and bobbed to the ground only
to reappear at some other place, and mock the King.